[__ Prayer __] fear not, brush people off

[Christ_empowered]

Yes, me again. I'm learning--finally--that I have to fear not (fret not because of evil doers) and brush people off. Here in my little southern town, my neighbors know more about my psychiatric "treatment" than I do...because I'm considered a "trouble maker." My ex-shrink tried to have me put in prison because I got "uppity." My dad hired a skilled attorney (Praise God!), so I have a misdemeanor+probation.

Point is...I'm stigmatized. I'm not as concerned about it as I was before, because now I'm a) forgiven by God; b) forgiven by my parents; and c) remarkably...healthy, smart again (1st time in over 10 years!), and normal in many, perhaps most, respects. This is Christ's work in my life. I haven't done a whole lot of anything except come to believe upon Christ and be changed, changed in ways I never anticipated (nor did I realize I needed).

So, now I live with my parents (things in my neighborhood were heating up for a while there, so I bailed and moved home) and we're at peace with each other. I even get to go to school online, which is huge.

I need to brush people off. I'm getting better about it, only because of God's work in my life. I got to the point where I was saying "Lord, I can't think or psychobabble my way out of this one. I pray you'll will to provide what I need to move forward," and...well, it didn't happen immediately, but its happening now: I care less about other peoples' opinions. Not because of some self-help book or good counselor/therapist, but because God has changed and is changing me.

Problem is...people love taunting me. I'm supposed to "know my place in society," etc. etc. etc. Its stupid. My people used to be what one counselor called "rinky dink middle class" (FYI: mental health people are extremely class conscious and elitist). Now they're...well, not rich, but not typical middle class, either. They worked hard for it, and The Lord has blessed them. So, there's all these sociological issues going on here with social class, mental health stigma, drug use stigma (I was a notorious Rx pill head 10, 11 years ago), plus...predictably...God's work in my life doesn't sit well with many people around here. I used to be prematurely aged; now, I"m 31 and I look about 27. Nothing freakish, just...not how things usually go for burned out pill heads.

Anyway...people still scream about "felony!," "prison!," all this other stuff. I mean, my neighborhood gets rowdy towards me...they'll laugh really loud, and its a decent part of town. This is what happens when you're "not a member of the community."

Ramble ramble...this is part Praise Report (!!!), because The Lord has been teaching me how to lean on Him and not rely on Self, psychobabble, self-analysis, etc. in moving forward. This is also part Prayer Request because...well, it gets rough, and plus I have to go to a counselor and psychiatrist as a part of my probation (I --was-- sick; now I'm increasingly well, thanks to Christ!). My psychiatrist talked to me last session, and I'm thinking...this guy is supposed to make other people...well? Not that he's sick or anything, just that...he's really not on the right path spiritually, he started talking about "id, ego, super-ego," etc., and I'm thinking...man, shrinks are the same now as in the 50s! Blind leading the blind, I'm telling you.

I'm done now. Praise and yet another prayer request. Thanks for reading.

 

[Eugene]

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Good morning Brother CE. My thinking this moment from your allegations of others hollering felony, and other insults being the catalyst of you leaning more on Jesus, it seemingly is the sufferings in Christ chosen by God for you to have His best, thus qualifying you to be a joint heir with Christ versus just being an heir. (Rom 8:17).

And then the return of your psychiatrist talking of ego and such, since at one time you were determined to be stigmatized as narcissistic, I would ask that you pay particular attention to this man God now has in your life that may be detecting something you don't. When we go to God He supplies every need necessary to our well being. (Rom 8:28).

Love you brother, and I've seen such revelations of true Christian growth as you struggle in certain areas, and they will continue. Don't entertain for a moment old thoughts that attempted to destroy you and your family. Blessings in Christ Jesus.
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[AirDancer]

Each and every time you hear a neighbor - or anyone, for that matter - make a negative remark towards or about you, give our Lord a prayer of thanks for keeping you so close to His heart!

As for the ego discussion, your counselor is trying to help, just in case there is an issue. Listen to what he/she has to say, then later, in the privacy of your home, go into prayer and discuss this with our Lord. You, like the rest of us, are a work in progress. Taking everything to our Lord in prayer aids in that progress!