[__ Praise __] Heart of flesh

[Christ_empowered]

Me yet again. ?

Jesus Christ is changing me further…again. I’m 40 I’ve been truly saved for 12 years now.

I dunno ?‍ it isn’t as simple as let go and let God….

Unless maybe ? sometimes it is in the context of a person’s walk with the lord?? I dunno ?‍

Poverty was really rough for me and I never even had to deal with real no help at all poverty that so many people are in and never escape from this side of eternity. I think ? the heavy shock treatments and such made the whole thing worse because…

Amnesia brain damage cognitive impairment etc plus I ended up with schizophrenia….

Couldn’t comprehend the world ? around me or even articulate my own thoughts such as they were back then not long ago…

So I’m living in a modest safe nice life and I somehow have a high iq estimate now and my schizophrenia or what have you is less of an issue day to day….

I think ? I’m being made a higher quality believer by Christ Jesus. I’m thankful ? and also hoping that I can be a light ? unto a dark and dying generation…

Just like all genuine believers! That’s another thing….

I’m seeing that I’m not freakish or weirdly special or all alone etc….

Nothing befalls me except that which is common to man ?‍. And absolutely nothing surprises God lol ?.

I’m seeing how Christ in me affects my very limited social circle ️ and….

Omg ? I may actually eventually get to talk about Jesus Christ with people in my life. Basic! But huge! Mental patients especially those of us with shady backgrounds are not really in a position to talk about Christ until and unless…

He moves mightily in our lives. I see it more clearly now…

12 years after my born again experience people in my life see real change. I’m not just the flamboyant gay druggie with problems and pills ? who got religion when facing more trouble.

Thanks for reading and praying ?

 

[Christ_empowered]

People want me to move. lol ?

I’m an ok neighbor. Mind my own business ?‍? offer up a friendly greeting now and then and my place is clean ? and well maintained. No drugs no drinking no loud gatherings etc.

But I was a shady wretched person. Now I’m considered a high functioning person with schizophrenia…

Take the tranquilizer keep appointments law abiding. Can’t work. Never really could work and I did try…

I even worked a little part time job way back when while dealing with the aftermath of heavy involuntary shock treatments and serious illness. And so…

A lot of the stuff seems to be about me living here and not in a group home ? etc…

Receiving disability for schizophrenia….

And having a modest but rather pleasant life.

These are 2 or 3 bedroom apartments/condos. Most are owner occupied. Some are rented out and the hoa has strict rules about renting out units. And then…

Some are occupied by relatives of the owners. That’s my situation and it’s not just me. I think there are 250 or so units here in multiple buildings.

So….

I’m frustrated ? but trying to lean into Christ and bear up under it. Now I see that this is relatively minor vs real life for many mental patients…

But it’s still frustrating lol ?

Please keep my parents and me up in your prayers. Thank you ?