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[ Testimony ] How I left the faith

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wow. OK. so...

I deal with being labeled as "severely mentally ill." is it...real? that's...actually a real, valid question. I'm kind of leaning towards "Schizophrenia," etc. as being valid -descriptions- of phases of some human beings' lives, not necessarily "brain diseases," all that jibber jabber. moving on...

so, I have a counselor. Masters of divinity, but its a community mental health clinic (state funded psychiatry...eek!), so it took him a while to warm up to me enough to openly discuss his faith, etc. and so...

yeah. We were talking about the high prestige, high income, often false teachers and such in modern day Christianity. all I could come up with was what I'd read on some hippy/semi-marxist lady's (she's...Christian-ish) blog...

religion serves the interests of the powerful. blah. :-(

but then the "conservative Christians," themselves will say.... "this is a relationship with your savior, Jesus Christ...not a religion..."

so, true to form, I took the church peoples' oft repeated words and thought it thru, and...

"depart from me, ye workers of iniquity! I never knew you!" and the material about all kinds of evil popping up within the church, "...to deceive -the very elect,- if possible.."

and "ye shall know a tree by the fruit it bears..." and the concepts of the wheat and the tares, growing up together until Harvest time...the sheep and the goats...

basically, churches don't save people. ugh. church subculture certainly doesn't, either. Honestly, a lot of church subculture seems crazy-making to me. maybe its because I was "raised by hippies," as the locals say (LOL), or because...did I mention I actually have the "Schizophrenia" label? yeah...

but I really do think that Jesus saves. I think maybe Calvinism misses the point, anyway. A plain reading of Scripture says "I will show mercy to whom I will show mercy. I will show compassion to whom I will show compassion...," and also indicates that the sheep "...know -my- voice...,"

so, then...why have so many Christians been such truly nasty human beings, now and...since forever, I think? Gandhi even said something to the effect that he'd probably be a Christian...if it wasn't for the Christians he'd encountered. ugh. what fun...

not to sound all "hippy" and/or like I'm into the "social gospel," etc., but one of my favorite, favorite, favorite (no, really: favorite!) verses is Micah 6:8 . I'll copy and paste it, in addition to providing the link, because...yes, I love it that much. :)

Micah 6:8 reads:
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

(copied and pasted from https://biblehub.com/micah/6-8.htm). :)


Even my crazy rich cousin references this, now and then. His crazy rich dad had it, hand-written, in his Bible towards the end of his life. whaaa? yeah.

churches not only don't save individuals, some (a lot? I don't really keep tabs?) seem to be working -against- Christ Jesus, once one looks at the spirit of The Good News. I mean...

church people talk--some of them, not -all- of them -- about loving Jesus, etc...

and then they whine and moan about poor people, immigrants, non-white people "livin' off our tax dollars!" and all that junk...

and its not of Christ. In fact, I suspect some of this "conservative" church stuff may actually be satanic, as in...not just

"...proclaiming a form of godliness, but lacking the power thereof...," but actually hard-down cruel, mean, and of the evil one. blah. happens...at least, it seems to be what people think of when they say and/or think "Christianity," in Bible belt, usa.

sorry to ramble. its not that being a "real Christian" means one will become a borderline socialist, lean towards antipsychiatry, and always, always, always vote democrat. this is to say...unlike most church people, I'm not trying to mold future Christians into mini-me (LOL). :)

but "Know Jesus, Know Change." churches are helpful, when and if they work -with- Him to change individuals, families, possibly improve entire communities. for whatever reason(s)...

I don't think there's a lot of -that- happening in church town, usa. it is what it is... :)
 
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