How long ...

[faeriecat]

Someone on my FB feed posted an interesting question and it got me to wondering ...

How long should couples date/court before becoming engaged?

How long should couples be engaged before the wedding?

Just one of those things that's making me go hhmm ...

 

[Knotical]

I really don't think there is a hard and fast rule in regard to the amount of time, but it is important to go through a pretty rigorous "vetting" process to make sure you know the person you are considering marrying.

One way to handle this is by going through a personality exam where you answer questions about what you understand about the other person and see how accurate you are. This will open up some interesting questions that you may not think of by yourself. A good pastor will have access to these kinds of tests and will be able to administer it.

 

[Matthew G]

Well, my wife and I met February 14th (Funny story I may someday share), 2004. We were married January 7th, 2005. So a week shy of 11 months from "Hello," to "I do".

We did do premarital counseling with our pastor, as well as a couple of marriage seminars our church paid for us to go to. Definite musts, in my opinion.

I wouldn't recommend everyone do it this way. In fact, though I love my wife dearly and wouldn't trade her or my kids for anything, if I could go back we would've waited a little longer (I speak for her, too). I was 20, she was 18. We both still had some growing up to do, and neither one of us was really ready to step into our roles.

It worked out, don't get me wrong, but getting to know each other a little more would have made the transition a little easier.

 

[faeriecat]

Well thank you gentlemen for your opinions on things.

I met my gentleman on a platonic level 1yr 9mo ago ... we started dating 3 mo after that. I kept waiting for him to ask me out but he was just soooo shy I finally asked him out (yeah, I know, not normally how it's done LOL)

 

[farouk]

Well, my wife and I met February 14th (Funny story I may someday share), 2004. We were married January 7th, 2005. So a week shy of 11 months from "Hello," to "I do".

We did do premarital counseling with our pastor, as well as a couple of marriage seminars our church paid for us to go to. Definite musts, in my opinion.

I wouldn't recommend everyone do it this way. In fact, though I love my wife dearly and wouldn't trade her or my kids for anything, if I could go back we would've waited a little longer (I speak for her, too). I was 20, she was 18. We both still had some growing up to do, and neither one of us was really ready to step into our roles.

It worked out, don't get me wrong, but getting to know each other a little more would have made the transition a little easier.

[MENTION=93075]Matthew G[/MENTION]:

Well, you guys seem very blessed together, anyhow.

With my wife and me it was kind of the opposite I suppose; in a sense we left it a bit too long; although in another sense the Lord's timing was perfect so we wouldn't have it any differently.

Blessings.