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How would you know if you married the right person?

Classik

Classik

Member
I think if you trust God He would direct you to the right person. You would know if you married the right person if:
E.g

1. A husband I know is very quiet. The wife isn't quiet at all. The wife does all the talking and rebukes - and challenging people.

2. A wife I know is (perhaps 'was') a very bad cook. The husband is an excellent cook who does powerful dishes.

3. One isn't rich enough and the other is the bread winner etc etc

4. A man I know is shy (sexually speaking). The wife isn't. Etc etc

I hope it's clear now.



You can see that! An important quality lacking in one partner is found in the other partner.

I don't think the same quality will be lacking in both husband and wife at the same time (unless it was a faulty marriage). E.g is that quiet husband who has a courageous wife.

At the same time I don't think God permits the same quality to exist in both husband and wife. It can cause rivalry and unhealthy competition (unless it has to do with the qualities that should be found in both: things like - love, truthfulness, etc. Marriage is all about potential diffrence. So when you find a lacking quality in the other partner I would boldly say: you got the right person.


So think about what hapenes when a husband is a talking parrot and at the same time the wife is a talking parrot. That's a house of commotion and disorder

Gotta rest my fingers here. What do you think? Thanks
 
Hi Classik, great topic.
The cliche of "opposites attract" springs to many peoples minds, but that's not strictly/completely true.
If two people are complete opposites they will clash and eventually the relationship will fail.
However, being slightly opposite with the same goal ( a lasting,happy marriage) complements the relationship.
It's a bit like the cogs of a gearbox in a car. (bear with me)
The drivers destination is it's goal. (happy marriage)
The engine of the car is constant in direction. it's direction of revolution never changes, only it's speed. (day to day life)
The gearbox / transmission has many different shaped and sized cogs / gear wheels, that mesh together in propelling the vehicle to it's destination.
Though the cogs are of different size and can work in opposite directions to each other, they compliment each other to move the car to it's destination. (Marital harmony)
If one cog breaks, the car will go nowhere without being repaired or sometimes in today's throw away society,scrapped. (counseling / divorce)
The gears need one another to make the whole thing work. Even though they may be of different size, operates in a different direction etc, they still work together.(communication)
They mesh together to achieve this by being cast/machined so that although different, they fit together.
If they're not compatible because they are totally opposite or one has bigger teeth, they will grind each other down until one breaks completely. (broken marriage / heart)
 
Blev said:
The time to find that out is before you marry them, not after. :) Its too late then
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Exactly! That is what courting/dating is for. It is the time period for you to really get to know the other person so you do not go into the marriage decision blind. A good way to go about this is pre-engagement/premarital counseling, especially with a counselor/pastor who utilizes the comprehensive personality tests that not only see how well you know yourself, but how well you know the other person.
 
Classik said:
You know most guys and ladies become angels during dating periods;) So how would you know:D
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Through the pre-engagement/marital counseling. If the other party is serious about marriage they would be open to this kind of counseling. This process, if done with the right counselor, will pull out some of the hard questions so you will not end up surprised by who you married after the honeymoon.
 
Classik said:
You know most guys and ladies become angels during dating periods;) So how would you know:D
Click to expand...

:angel3 Thats for sure! Then they turn into devils when they get married LOL :devil


You get to know them long enough to see them in any kind of situation, good and bad, not rush into anything.
 
One way to see what you may be getting into is look at their parents. What are they like? Get to know them
 
For any relationship to work takes 2 important ingredients. Listening and Talking. With God, listen to what he tells you each day (some people call it their conscience) or through His word, and Talk to Him through prayer or whatever means you use.
With your friends Listen and Talk.
Kids, Listen and Talk.
Fiance Listen and Talk
Spouse Listen and Talk
If you can do that you'll find your relationships are stronger because you grow stronger together through communication, so there's less room for misunderstandings.
If during courting / dating you are able to listen to each other and talk to each other properly without trying to dominate the relationship,you'll know exactly what the other person is like. Through real experience.
Marriage cousellors may work for some people, but as a whole I find it strange that people will decide the fate of their relationship based on a third party's opinion and a bunch of psycho-babble complete with hypothetical and unrealistic scenarios.(If you were on a desert Island, what three books would you want with you...???????) A counsellor will meet with each couple maybe once or twice a week leading up to a wedding and tell them what he / she THINKS about their compatibility based on his / her INTERPRETATION, of their answers.Then tell them what he/ sheTHINKS they need to do to make it work based on his / her hypothetical training. I'd actually like to know the figures on how many marriage councellors' marriages have failed, after all, Doctor Phil has been married twice.:rolleyes:
Just my two bob's worth
View attachment 3652
 
In spite of it all I wonder why majority after all get divorced. Didn't they go through chains of counsellors (powerful counsellors indeed)? :crying4 My parents!!! OMG God ordained that marriage. There has never been a season of taekwando or blows in their relationship.
 
Not sure I agree with you Classik. Chemistry usually means we will be attracted to our opposite. The outgoing person likes the introvert cause they don't seem to need people as much. The introvert admires how the outgoing person puts themselves out there. The introvert cares more about career and sucess and extrovert relationships, family and spouse. But is this best? If you don't want to socialize and your wife wants to go out every night it causes problems. If the introvert withdraws from their spouse the extrovert becomes needy.

I think I am going to look for someone more like me with similar interests. The chemistry will not be as great but I think it would be a better partnership. If God has a different plan I'm all for it though.
 
:lolWhat happens if a man likes going into the street and the wife does so too? The children suffer. you see?;)
 
Any idea why God made females the weaker sex'es'? (I didn't say women I said females [sexes]- that includes woman and animals and even plants etc)
 
As far as females being the weaker sex, I don't know that I'd use the term "weaker". I think "different" is a better word. Of course I'm coming at this from a Christian perspective, but in Genesis God said he would make a helper for Adam. He didn't say a servant or a ward, he said helper. Also, when a man and woman are married, they become one flesh. So in theory (yes, I'm well aware the elusive "perfect scenario" rarely occurs) they are two pieces of the same puzzle, so to speak. They complement each other, and fill the gaps in each other's personality. Not to mention, of course, the fact that there's a plethora of women out there who could humiliate any man foolish enough to physically challenge her, but I digress.

As per your original question, I don't subscribe to the "soul mate" idea. I don't think there's one "right person" for anyone. Mathematically speaking, the odds are that there will always be someone out there who's a "better" match for you than the person you're with now. I sincerely believe any marriage, regardless of the man and woman it's comprised of, can be an incredible and powerful force indeed. That being said though, I also believe that if two people who are exactly alike get married, one of them is unnecessary.

That's my two cents, for whatever it's worth.
 
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