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Husbands who fear their wives

Every husband fears his wife.
There's nothing a man can do if his wife starts being cranky, angry, vengeful, isolated, lazy, unloving, etc. You can't give her a time out, you can't lecture her, you can't correct her, you can't lay her off, you can't cut her pay, you can't fine her, like you can do in other relationships. You can't do anything. They are beyond the reach of all rule and authority.
And so it is that she controls the household. Everybody knows 'nobody's happy until mama's happy', as the old saying goes.

It's not right, but what can you do?
 
Classik said:
May be a sin for a man not to be the breadwinner
Click to expand...

Not sure I agree with that.

Proverbs 31:10-31

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

That's my kind of wife.

She does all the work whilst I sit at the city gate.

Well the city gate being me sat in front of the T.V. watching the football with my mates.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
Every husband fears his wife.
There's nothing a man can do if his wife starts being cranky, angry, vengeful, isolated, lazy, unloving, etc. You can't give her a time out, you can't lecture her, you can't correct her, you can't lay her off, you can't cut her pay, you can't fine her, like you can do in other relationships. You can't do anything. They are beyond the reach of all rule and authority.
And so it is that she controls the household. Everybody knows 'nobody's happy until mama's happy', as the old saying goes.

It's not right, but what can you do?
Click to expand...
iu
 
Wrg1405 said:
Not sure I agree with that.

Proverbs 31:10-31

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

That's my kind of wife.

She does all the work whilst I sit at the city gate.

Well the city gate being me sat in front of the T.V. watching the football with my mates.
Click to expand...
I see that both you and Edward like the Proverbs 31 wife.
How to decide which one of you two get her???

(there's only one)

Wondering
 
Last edited:
Jethro Bodine said:
Every husband fears his wife.
There's nothing a man can do if his wife starts being cranky, angry, vengeful, isolated, lazy, unloving, etc. You can't give her a time out, you can't lecture her, you can't correct her, you can't lay her off, you can't cut her pay, you can't fine her, like you can do in other relationships. You can't do anything. They are beyond the reach of all rule and authority.
And so it is that she controls the household. Everybody knows 'nobody's happy until mama's happy', as the old saying goes.

It's not right, but what can you do?
Click to expand...
Jethro
Such a feeling of helplessness.
Women need their husband too you know.
Remember that and don't be afraid.

All those remedies you name won't work.
There's only one thing that works:
Treating her like a girlfriend.

And sometimes, it's nobody's fault but just the way things work out.
 
wondering said:
I see that both you and Edward both like the Proverbs 31 wife.
How to decide which one of you two get her???

(there's only one)

Wondering
Click to expand...
Well, since she only exists in their dreams, they can both have her. :lol

"I have found one man among a thousand, but I have not found a woman among all these." (Ecclesiastes 7:28 NASB)

My theory about this verse is, all women know the truth I shared in post # 21, and therefore, they know they do not have to act righteously, because it costs them nothing in this life to act un-righteously. Us men, on the other hand, have to placate many people to avoid trouble, at home and in the work place, and so some men learn the ways of discipline and the way to life. We have to. Women? They don't have to.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
Well, since she only exists in their dreams, they can both have her. :lol

"I have found one man among a thousand, but I have not found a woman among all these." (Ecclesiastes 7:28 NASB)

My theory about this verse is, all women know the truth I shared in post # 21, and therefore, they know they do not have to act righteously, because it costs them nothing in this life to act un-righteously. Us men, on the other hand, have to placate many people to avoid trouble, at home and in the work place, and so some men learn the ways of discipline and the way to life. We have to. Women? They don't have to.
Click to expand...
This would be a very serious conversation.
I don't agree at all.
Of course it costs wives something to act unrighteously.
It costs them the love of their husband and maybe their marriage.

Women also have a lot of people to placate.
Hubands, doctors, teachers, friends, relatives, children, business persons, contractors.
A smart wife should be very disciplined - and pass that on to the children also.

I like to say that it takes two to tango. If one is not willing to dance, there's no tango.

Wondering
 
The problem is that us guys can fear our wives. Not necessarily because they are nasty but because we don't understand how their mind works. So they ask a question and we answer that question. Trouble is it's not the answer they wanted as it's already formulated in their mind.

Trouble is that us men are base and tell it as we see it. We don't allow our minds to fully proecess before our mouths spurt out.

So us blokes tend to be matter of fact.

One example from my sorry experience.

My wife asked me one day if the dress she put on made her bum look big?
I said no it's the cake that does that. I thought it was funny but alas she didn't.
So now when she puts a dress on and asks me how does it look then fear comes to mind.

Seriously if a husband and wife are fearful of each other then there is a problem.
As a husband and wife get to know each other then any fear should start to diminish. As they love each other they should get to know each other and alleviate fears and accept each other, not to change the other.

I love my wife dearly, and at times she is fearful of my reaction at times and vice verca but the majority of the times it's nothing major or life changing but just that we know the inherent response we may have but we will come around and work it out.
 
wondering said:
All those remedies you name won't work.
There's only one thing that works:
Treating her like a girlfriend.
Click to expand...
Obviously, I'm all for 'dating' your spouse right up to your dying day. But the truth is there is only one way that actually works...God's way. The man is master and the wife is in his service. And save your angry lectures, I know women of this time in history will rise up against such a thought, but I know what I'm talking about. Not from experience. As an aging man I just know, now, that marriage works when the man is busy with presiding over the household and the woman is fulfilling his agenda. I know every woman reading this doesn't agree, but it's the Biblical model, and if women just understood how it works they'd agree (most would, anyway).
 
wondering said:
Of course it costs wives something to act unrighteously.
It costs them the love of their husband and maybe their marriage.
Click to expand...
Then you don't understand men. You think you do, but you don't.

wondering said:
Women also have a lot of people to placate.
Hubands, doctors, teachers, friends, relatives, children, business persons, contractors.
Click to expand...
That is a joke.
Women get angry and emotional, and because you're women we can't deck you like we would if a man was treating people that way.
Women know they have this unwritten safety rule that keeps them from getting in trouble when they don't get things the way they want them and they act up because of it.

wondering said:
I like to say that it takes two to tango. If one is not willing to dance, there's no tango.
Click to expand...
Which is EXACTLY what I'm saying.
The woman knows she doesn't have to tango, and she won't if she disagrees with something.
 
I know you women are prolly getting pretty upset right now, but just think about marriage being the figure of the relationship between Christ and the church before you respond with what you are sure is the way it should be in marital relationships.

Is Christ and the church the infamous '50/50' relationship so many women insist on in marriage? (But which actually means, 'I don't have to listen to you').
By the same token, does Christ not give a crap about the care and nurture of his bride the Church?
 
Wrg1405 said:
The problem is that us guys can fear our wives. Not necessarily because they are nasty but because we don't understand how their mind works. So they ask a question and we answer that question. Trouble is it's not the answer they wanted as it's already formulated in their mind.

Trouble is that us men are base and tell it as we see it. We don't allow our minds to fully proecess before our mouths spurt out.

So us blokes tend to be matter of fact.

One example from my sorry experience.

My wife asked me one day if the dress she put on made her bum look big?
I said no it's the cake that does that. I thought it was funny but alas she didn't.
So now when she puts a dress on and asks me how does it look then fear comes to mind.

Seriously if a husband and wife are fearful of each other then there is a problem.
As a husband and wife get to know each other then any fear should start to diminish. As they love each other they should get to know each other and alleviate fears and accept each other, not to change the other.

I love my wife dearly, and at times she is fearful of my reaction at times and vice verca but the majority of the times it's nothing major or life changing but just that we know the inherent response we may have but we will come around and work it out.
Click to expand...
It's all about pride and defensiveness.
Good marriages aren't good because of the lack of conflict. They are good because the couple knows how to not be proud and defensive and, as a result, immovable and unreasonable on points of conflict. Instead, they can share their feelings openly and honestly without putting the other one in a hardened shelter of self protection. They can talk about things without erecting great walls of defensiveness through which nothing gets accomplished, only made worse. As a result they can work out compromises that work for both sides and end up being chances to show love to the other, not selfishly take away from the other.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
Obviously, I'm all for 'dating' your spouse right up to your dying day. But the truth is there is only one way that actually works...God's way. The man is master and the wife is in his service. And save your angry lectures, I know women of this time in history will rise up against such a thought, but I know what I'm talking about. Not from experience. As an aging man I just know, now, that marriage works when the man is busy with presiding over the household and the woman is fulfilling his agenda. I know every woman reading this doesn't agree, but it's the Biblical model, and if women just understood how it works they'd agree (most would, anyway).
Click to expand...
No Jethro.
I didn't say a husband and wife should "date".
I said a husband should treat his wife like a girlfriend.
There's a difference, don't you think?

Wondering
 
I do think though that us men have to be thoughtful of the following

1 Peter 3:7
A Word to Husbands
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

3:7 Christian husbands are to demonstrate toward their wives the same unselfish spirit as Christian citizens (2:13–17), Christian subordinates (2:18–25), and Christian wives (vv. 1–6). with understanding: A Christian husband should be intimately aware of his wife’s needs, her strengths and weaknesses, and her goals and desires. He should know as much about her as possible in order to respond in the best way to her. giving honor: A Christian husband gives honor to his wife because she deserves honor (vv. 1–6). weaker vessel: The weakness in view here is primarily physical weakness, since the term vessel means the human body. being heirs together: The relationship described here is one between a Christian husband and his Christian wife, since all Christians and only Christians are heirs of the grace of life (see Rom. 8:17). that your prayers may not be hindered: A Christian husband’s spiritual relationship with God is directly affected by the way he treats his wife.
 
wondering said:
No Jethro.
I didn't say a husband and wife should "date".
I said a husband should treat his wife like a girlfriend.
There's a difference, don't you think?

Wondering
Click to expand...
No.
The girlfriend/ boyfriend relationship is a dating relationship.

Spouses should treat each other like how polite strangers who are attracted to each other treat each other. Right to your dying day.
 
When my wife says to me, "I have to tell you this. You just have to hear it."

I ask "Is this gonna be the guy version or the woman version. Because if it's the woman's version I'm gonna go get some chips first. "

:popcorn:salute
 
Jethro Bodine said:
1. Then you don't understand men. You think you do, but you don't.


2. That is a joke.
Women get angry and emotional, and because you're women we can't deck you like we would if a man was treating people that way.
Women know they have this unwritten safety rule that keeps them from getting in trouble when they don't get things the way they want them and they act up because of it.


3. Which is EXACTLY what I'm saying.
The woman knows she doesn't have to tango, and she won't if she disagrees with something.
Click to expand...
Oh my.
1. What is it that I don't understand about men??
That if I act unrighteously, he's going to just love me to death anyway???

2. Women might get angry and/or emotional with a guy during the getting to know you phase when there is much
uncertainty.
A relationship cannot continue in that way for a long period of time. Most women I know are NOT angry and emotional except when they really need to be. Husbands get angry and emotional too under the right circumstances. This should not be a normal occurrence.

3. If the woman doesn't tango, there's no marriage.

Wondering
 
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