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Husbands who fear their wives

Jethro Bodine said:
That's a dating relationship, wondering.
In a dating relationship, you do not thoughtlessly take liberties, you carefully and politely consider if they are being given, first. And you don't get angry if they aren't.
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I don't understand what you just said...
 
wondering said:
I don't understand what you just said...
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Married couples are often demanding and critical of each other.
Dating couples don't treat each other that way while they are still in the 'polite stranger' phase. The woman may not have been as responsive as the man wished. He goes home and lies on his bed and stares at the ceiling. But somewhere along the line, after we get married, we stop treating each other that way and end up heaping demands on our spouses, and in impolite and disrespectful ways. Now instead of staring at the ceiling in a love sick rejection, we punch the walls or get really mad in the hope of convincing our spouse to treat us the way we want.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
Point made.
It isn't just a need to us men.
It's deeper than that.
Women don't get it.


Only in outward practical matters. Not in matters of the heart.
Women fail at one relationship and simply move on to the next, complaining about the old one all the way.
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I don't know about other women, but I DO get it.
Jethro, Have you been around very young women lately?
You sure do seem to know how they operate.
I know a book you could read that might be of help to you:
"In Praise of Older Women"
Yeah. That's the ticket!!
 
wondering said:
Jethro, Have you been around very young women lately?
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I plead the fifth. :lol

wondering said:
You sure do seem to know how they operate.
I know a book you could read that might be of help to you:
"In Praise of Older Women"
Yeah. That's the ticket!!
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I'm confident that men and women alike mature with age and experience. But I don't think the fundamental nature of either really changes. I mean, men are still going to bond much deeper than women, and women will still tend to view relationships in terms of practicalities rather than emotion, even after all the training life throws at us.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
I haven't even read the details. I just knew this was true:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...omen-initiate-divorce-much-more-men-heres-why
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What's the use of reading the article.
We know all that stuff.
Women want to be like men.
The woman's movement was a tragedy for relationships.
You speak about Christ and His church.
Yes. But how many men in a marriage relationship know how to be like Christ in their marriage?
How many women know how to submissive without being slaves?
It has a lot to do with expectations.
Women expect a lot because they're told to. Because their tired from working and having chirldren.
Everything is all screwed up.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
Married couples are often demanding and critical of each other.
Dating couples don't treat each other that way while they are still in the 'polite stranger' phase. The woman may not have been as responsive as the man wished. He goes home and lies on his bed and stares at the ceiling. But somewhere along the line, after we get married, we stop treating each other that way and end up heaping demands on our spouses, and in impolite and disrespectful ways. Now instead of staring at the ceiling in a love sick rejection, we punch the walls or get really mad in the hope of convincing our spouse to treat us the way we want.
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There is no true love without true respect for each other.
Just won't work.
No respect = No love.
 
wondering said:
What's the use of reading the article.
We know all that stuff.
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The point is, I don't think you knew that it's actually the woman who is more likely to leave a marriage.
I knew that just from knowing lots of people who have divorced. The man is sad, and the woman is glad she's free of the relationship. I've seen over and over and over again.
Divorces don't mostly happen because the man is a playboy. It's actually quite the opposite. The woman is more likely to have longings outside of the relationship that cause divorces. Men usually want to stay with it. Women are the ones' that, generally speaking, get itchy for someone else to the point of wanting to divorce. It's because men are more deeply bonded, by nature, in a marital relationship than women are.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
Married couples are often demanding and critical of each other.
Dating couples don't treat each other that way while they are still in the 'polite stranger' phase. The woman may not have been as responsive as the man wished. He goes home and lies on his bed and stares at the ceiling. But somewhere along the line, after we get married, we stop treating each other that way and end up heaping demands on our spouses, and in impolite and disrespectful ways. Now instead of staring at the ceiling in a love sick rejection, we punch the walls or get really mad in the hope of convincing our spouse to treat us the way we want.
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My husband and I still say Please and Thank You to each other.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
I plead the fifth. :lol


I'm confident that men and women alike mature with age and experience. But I don't think the fundamental nature of either really changes. I mean, men are still going to bond much deeper than women, and women will still tend to view relationships in terms of practicalities rather than emotion, even after all the training life throws at us.
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I wasn't thinking in terms of maturing.
I'm not sure how old you are, but what I'm refering to is how different my generation is from the one just after me.
I could just imagine the next one down and the next one down and so forth...

Wait! Not because I'm 110! Because as each generation passes, it's just going to get worse and worse.
Do you see this?
Couples don't even WANT to get married anymore.
They see no reason for it and feel they could just leave whenever they want to.
No more COMMITMENT.
Which is all a marriage is.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
The point is, I don't think you knew that it's actually the woman who is more likely to leave a marriage.
I knew that just from knowing lots of people who have divorced. The man is sad, and the woman is glad she's free of the relationship. I've seen over and over and over again.
Divorces don't mostly happen because the man is a playboy. It's actually quite the opposite. The woman is more likely to have longings outside of the relationship that cause divorces. Men usually want to stay with it. Women are the ones' that, generally speaking, get itchy for someone else to the point of wanting to divorce. It's because men are more deeply bonded, by nature, in a marital relationship than women are.
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I thought it was men that wanted lots of womenfolk!!
Why would anyone get itchy?
I think ONE husband is plenty. Takes so many years to train him up.
Why would I want to start all over again??
:hysterical

Take it easy. I'm just kidding.
(?)

See. This goes back to what I was saying.
Women want to be like men.
So I guess now they want lots of men.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
Yeah, right. :hysterical
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You stop laughing at me right now!
If you don't believe it, come here.
Oh. Right. I've invited you other times and you don't want to visit this country.
(for readers: It's very innocent. Married with children)
(oh, that doesn't mean anything anymore??)
 
dirtfarmer here

It is my belief if a man treats his wife as scripture says there will be not divorces. When 2 peoples live together there are going to be times of disagreement. Scripture tells a man to love(agape) his wife as Christ loved the church. He is to lay down his life for her if necessary. We don't find the same requirements of the wife. The wife is to love( phileo). This is a brotherly type of love, not a sacrificing or laying down their life for, love. The problem with most Christian marriages is misunderstanding of men that expect their wives to be their servants rather than a helpmeet.

With Christ as our example; where does Christ demand obedience? Obedience is to come from love because of what Christ has accomplished for us. So, it is with the wife to her husband. She is to love him because of the love that he expresses toward his wife, not because it is demanded. Will the wife always be obedient to the husband? Are we as believers always obedient to Christ? That is the reason for 1 John1:9.

The problem is that many men demand obedience regardless of how we treat our wife. Often wives hear; "about a month ago you did**************, how am I to trust you because of what happened a month ago. Where is the forgiveness and reconciliation in that? What if Christ did the same to us, "you remember what you did a month ago and now you want me to love you'?

Scripture states that the man does not have power over his own body, neither does the woman, 1 Corinthians 7:4, " The wife hath not power over her own body; but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife." Refusal is to be only with consent according to 1 Corinthians 7:5
 
Wrg1405 said:
A Christian husband’s spiritual relationship with God is directly affected by the way he treats his wife.
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That's huge, Brother! If a man seeks God, and is married... he better be very careful how he treats his wife. Not only is this scriptural, but is clearly written in the form of a warning to us.
Wrg1405 said:
1 Peter 3:7
A Word to Husbands
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
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No wonder Paul said it is better to not be married. Wow, I totally failed as a husband. I wasn't a spiritual leader. I suppose I was unequally yoked. She was raised Catholic and rather than be a spiritual leader, I pulled a Jonah by intentionally keeping silent about God, to keep the peace. What an idiot I was, even if I did try to honor her and treat her well.

It sure will be different next time, if there is a next time.

You Brother's that are still married have a chance to do this. Could marriage be one of those prophetic type & shadows? Treat her as Christ treats the church. He layed His life down for her...is very generous, loving, and long-suffering to her. We are to have the mind of Christ.

Where's a Proverbs 31 Wife when you (want) her?!
 
dirtfarmer said:
dirtfarmer here

It is my belief if a man treats his wife as scripture says there will be not divorces. When 2 peoples live together there are going to be times of disagreement. Scripture tells a man to love(agape) his wife as Christ loved the church. He is to lay down his life for her if necessary. We don't find the same requirements of the wife. The wife is to love( phileo). This is a brotherly type of love, not a sacrificing or laying down their life for, love. The problem with most Christian marriages is misunderstanding of men that expect their wives to be their servants rather than a helpmeet.
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Unfortunately, this isn't the case. I haven't looked through this thread, so I don't know if it's been mentioned, but it needs to be stated that there are women who beat men, wives who beat and abuse their husbands, even though the husband does absolutely nothing deserving of it and treats her as the Scriptures say.
 
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