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Husbands who fear their wives

wondering said:
Oh my.
1. What is it that I don't understand about men??
That if I act unrighteously, he's going to just love me to death anyway???
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I honestly don't think women understand the depth of bonding that occurs in the man in a marriage. I'm convinced it's way stronger than what happens in the woman.

I have heard many stories of men who still lament their ended marriages, even when they acknowledge the things they did wrong in the relationship and how obviously wrong things were, and even how bad their wife was. But I'm still waiting to hear the lament of the divorced woman over the relationship she used to have. Women simply don't bond the way the man does in a marital relationship. I don't think this is an accident. Remember, human marriage is a picture and type of Christ and the church.
 
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Papa Zoom said:
When my wife says to me, "I have to tell you this. You just have to hear it."

I ask "Is this gonna be the guy version or the woman version. Because if it's the woman's version I'm gonna go get some chips first. "

:popcorn:salute
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Slight mistake my friend.

You should have said "can you get me some chips then we can discuss what it is that you have to tell me"
 
Jethro Bodine said:
Then you don't understand men. You think you do, but you don't.


That is a joke.
Women get angry and emotional, and because you're women we can't deck you like we would if a man was treating people that way.
Women know they have this unwritten safety rule that keeps them from getting in trouble when they don't get things the way they want them and they act up because of it.


Which is EXACTLY what I'm saying.
The woman knows she doesn't have to tango, and she won't if she disagrees with something.
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Regarding "that is a joke" in the 2nd paragraph.

Do you think women just stay home and watch TV all day long?
They maintain a household
Keep documents
Pay bills
Raise Children
Shop
Cook
Clean
Keep laundry going
Speak to doctors
Teachers
Get jobs done, like with plumbers, contractors, etc.

I don't understand this statement of yours.

Wondering
 
wondering said:
Do you think women just stay home and watch TV all day long?
They maintain a household
Keep documents
Pay bills
Raise Children
Shop
Cook
Clean
Keep laundry going
Speak to doctors
Teachers
Get jobs done, like with plumbers, contractors, etc.
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...And resent every minute of it and aren't restrained in the least in letting their husbands know about it.
I have never heard a man complain about and resent his station in life as the expected primary wage earner in the home who goes to work everyday, to whatever job he has to go to. And he doesn't blame his wife for the way things are. He just accepts it and does it.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
No.
The girlfriend/ boyfriend relationship is a dating relationship.

Spouses should treat each other like how polite strangers who are attracted to each other treat each other. Right to your dying day.
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Wha?
Polite strangers? Who are attracted to each other?
You mean I should treat my husband like I treat the cute mailman??
Are you serious?
(BTW, I don't have a mailman. It's a woman.)

You STILL don't understand me.
I didn't say marriage should be like a dating relationship.
How could it be? All the problems crop up.
I said A HUSBAND SHOULD TREAT his wife LIKE A GIRLFRIEND.
That's not screaming but emphasozing.
Do you remember how you treated your girlfriend when you were courting her?
Did you sit on the same couch with her, or in a separate chair?
Did you give her a kiss while she did the dishes, or did you go to the fridge for a beer?
See?

You don't treat a wife like a wife, you treat her like a girlfriend.
A wife should treat her husband like a boyfriend.
Things work out better that way.

Wondering
 
Jethro Bodine said:
...And resent every minute of it and aren't restrained in the least in letting their husbands know about it.
I have never heard a man complain about and resent his station in life as the expected primary wage earner in the home who goes to work everyday, to whatever job he has to go to. And he doesn't blame his wife for the way things are. He just accepts it and does it.
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All you say here Jethro from my experience i woud simply switch the genders...
 
Jethro Bodine said:
I honestly don't think women understand the depth of bonding that occurs in the man in a marriage. I'm convinced it's way stronger than what happens in the woman.

I have heard many stories of men who still lament their ended marriages, even when they acknowledge the things they did wrong in the relationship and how obviously wrong things were, and even how bad their wife was. But I'm still waiting to hear the lament of the divorced woman over the relationship she used to have. Women simply don't bond the way the man does in a marital relationship. I don't think this is an accident. Remember, human marriage is a picture and type of Christ and the church.
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Dont' think of it as bonding.
Think of it as need.
A man needs a woman more than a woman needs a man.
Simply because women are the caregivers and know how to take care of themselves more than a man knows how to take care of himself.
Generally speaking of course, there are always exceptions.
Women are also very sorry when a marriage ends. It's the end of a life, an important part of their life. If a husband leaves a wife with children, it could be devastating. Most of the time it's for another woman - add that to the emotional distress.

It seems like you're seeing the coin from only one side.
 
wondering said:
You don't treat a wife like a wife, you treat her like a girlfriend.
A wife should treat her husband like a boyfriend.
Things work out better that way.
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That's a dating relationship, wondering.
In a dating relationship, you do not thoughtlessly take liberties, you carefully and politely consider if they are being given, first. And you don't get angry if they aren't.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
I know you women are prolly getting pretty upset right now, but just think about marriage being the figure of the relationship between Christ and the church before you respond with what you are sure is the way it should be in marital relationships.

Is Christ and the church the infamous '50/50' relationship so many women insist on in marriage? (But which actually means, 'I don't have to listen to you').
By the same token, does Christ not give a crap about the care and nurture of his bride the Church?
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There's no such thing as a 50/50 relationship.
I find that it's 90/10, depending on what's going on at the moment and who's turn it is to do what.
Of course, the topic could branch off into other directions, but this thread would never end.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
...And resent every minute of it and aren't restrained in the least in letting their husbands know about it.
I have never heard a man complain about and resent his station in life as the expected primary wage earner in the home who goes to work everyday, to whatever job he has to go to. And he doesn't blame his wife for the way things are. He just accepts it and does it.
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Dear Jethro,
We see life how we live it.
You see it the way you lived it.
Men don't blame their wives for how things are.
What things? Why would it be the wife's fault?
Marriage is a sharing of problems, not a faulting game.

A wife that resents what she has to do is an unhappy wife.
There's a reason for the unhappiness. It should be discovered and not left to get worse.
A wife who is always complaining is unpleasant to have around, to say the least.

I'll tell you this, however.
After marriage a man's life remains pretty much the same.
He wakes up, goes to work, comes home and should find things done (except today the wife works too)
For a woman, life changes drastically.
Now she has a home to keep.
Soon she'll have children and will have to raise them.
If she had never gotten married, she would have continued with her life just like a man.
A wife's life changes more than a husband's.
 
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