please understand we all have opinions and all any of us are trying to do. is help you understand... on the internet there is a wide variety of study tools to help you understand and that is all i am /others are trying to do. you seem to balk at help.
you may have a disability but you can still learn if you know how to navigate you tube. online Bible study tools is very simple.. in a nut shell what i am saying is you can and are intelligent of to learn . nothing else start of with Children Bible stories book.. i know a pastor with like 5th grade education started out using them and compering them to the Bible might i add this man is in his 80 . you can do this just apply your self.
we ahve a 9 year old girl staying with us that held a D in math my son. got to working with her mainly on times tables ,she went from a D to C+ this is about the best encouragement i can give you.. feel free to reject if you dont want it please say so and i will no longer try to encourage you