This guy...again, lol. I saw my counselor today. Solid, Born Again Christian man, M.Divinity and all that. Good times.
Anyway, its like...you can't hide from society. Back in the day, more affluent families could send their misfits to private hospitals for a nice long vacay, and other people would go off to state hospitals...possibly never to be in society again. These days, there's group homes, but...nah, I'm not interested.
I'm hoping I can make a go of things, if not here then...somewhere. I have to start working out, eating better, shaving more often, learning to take care of a car and do basic around the house things. I have to think seriously about what I can do and what I can handle and...and...you get the picture.
My neighbors aren't really the problem. My ex-shrinks are a problem, but they're not The Problem. Our fight is not against flesh and blood; our fight is against powers and principalities. A lot of what I've been through...its apparently "the real world." Ouch. Christ's work in my life offends peoples' sensibilities. People like me....don't generally matter, not to people in and of the world.
I was just outside and the neighbors were messing with me again. I had my Sansa in so I missed most of it, but...wow. They get loud. I'm really not interested in what they have to say. Sad fact: I'm dealing with less harassment and such here than I would just about anywhere else. :-(
Such is life in these United States when you're stigmatized.
I'm wondering where I should go, what I should do, and I realize...I've been set free. I mean, I could do without the harassment, I could do without the stigma, but...He whom the Son has set free is set free indeed. For me, that's true at many levels.
I will say this...having established, upper-middle/upper class people behind me helps. A lot. Part of the reason I'm considered "uppity" is that I wear decent clothes, drive a decent car, have a lil spending $$$, and do what I want (I mean, I obey the law, lol). Oh, and its the south, so...good shoes. Must. Have. Good. Shoes.
Its just crazy, what we put poor people through. I realize now its not just the US, not just The Bible Belt, its...everywhere. Things were just particularly rough for me because docs had to "make an example" out of me, which was hellish.
Keep me up in prayer. I've learned to pray for others, to care about others (no, really), and increasingly...to take The Other Person into consideration, which is a huge step forward for me. I also realize that lots of people "go through things," not just me. It reminds me of some basic Calvinist book I was reading...its not a wonder that so many go to Hell, its a wonder that God saves any. Yeah...not a wonder that I went through it, Its a wonder that Christ moved in my life in a big, big way.
And...that is all (For now).
