I want to love my enemies, but it is so hard!

[23Psalm]

I am a youth football coach and there was a situation that occured last season that caused me to remove myself and my family from that situation. Now with the new season fastly approaching and we are in the mist of off season training, I am coming across these same people again. I forgave them last year and even asked God to forgive them for wronging my family and my son who was on the team. But, when I see their faces, I just cringe and get really angry. My mind starts thinking bad thoughts and I wish nothing but evil to happen to them. I know it is wrong, and I ask the Lord to forgive me for feeling that way and I ask him to take this anger away so that I can have peace about it.

It is so hard to love your enemies.

 

[DarkHorseRising]

Difficult people... they tend to bring out the worst of us in all situations. But there's something extra special about the sports world that lets these people take you from calm to blood boiling angry in 3 seconds. I blame it on the mix of a competitive environment and added adrenaline.

I've been there too, and always find the best thing to do is ignore them. If they're truly being obnoxious, rude, or whatever, it will be revealed to all present. The amazing thing about sports is there's always something exciting and interesting happening :P

 

[Danus]

I think when we encounter difficult people we can often assume that God thinks of them like we do. Forgiving others is most difficult when we try to forgive others with our own will, when perhaps what we should be doing is asking Christ to help us forgive others.

Often we, are the only ones standing between Christ and the ones we wish to forgive, but the power of forgiveness is in Christ, not us. When we try to forgive others with out him we fail, but when we seek his help in forgiving others, then the power of Christ forgiveness is felt through us to them, when we seek Christ in that act of forgiveness first.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I hear ya on having difficulty forgiving your enemies. But please do it, if you can. Pray for the repentance of your enemies. That's what I've started doing, since my anger and lack of forgiveness almost got me committed to a mental hospital. Watch yourself; un-forgiveness and rage can really do a number on your growth, walk with God, and overall health.

 

[Chris.]

Loving someone who has deliberately wronged you is about one of the biggest challenges you can face.

Pride must be swallowed, anger cooled and the desire for justice and revenge set aside. They are among our most powerful emotions.

Yeah its hard!

 

[sesantek]

Yes it can be so hard to forgive. However, you are never expected to trust your own ability to do this, you are to trust God. This is what christianity is all about.

You are doing very well by asking to forgive you because of your thoughts. You are also doing we'll by praying for this people. Let me just tell you that your actions are as a result of the fact that you have the God -kind of spirit as a xtian. You may not have prayed for them or ask God for mercy if you were not born again. So don't let the devil make you understand that you are doing poorly.

You can't stop your kind of feeling towards these types of people sometimes, it happens to everybody but you can stop a negative reaction which is what you have started doing.

I hope I have made sense.

 

[Mike]

I think when we encounter difficult people we can often assume that God thinks of them like we do.

Wow. This is such a simple statement, but it really hit me, because it's true! We probably think God sees the wrong the other one does and they need to repent to Him as well all the time, when in fact it could be us that was in the wrong. Likely, pride is involved on both sides of the issue, so we both had a part in it. It's very egocentric to assume He is unhappy with them and not us.

Thanks, Danus!

 

[Kidron]

I am a youth football coach and there was a situation that occured last season that caused me to remove myself and my family from that situation. Now with the new season fastly approaching and we are in the mist of off season training, I am coming across these same people again. I forgave them last year and even asked God to forgive them for wronging my family and my son who was on the team. But, when I see their faces, I just cringe and get really angry. My mind starts thinking bad thoughts and I wish nothing but evil to happen to them. I know it is wrong, and I ask the Lord to forgive me for feeling that way and I ask him to take this anger away so that I can have peace about it.

It is so hard to love your enemies.

Jesus was sometimes angry at people.
For instance, when he told Peter"..."get thee behind me Satan".

or, just before he healed the man with the withered hand, the bible says he looked on the Pharisees with "anger".

Jesus, the bible says, took a scourge of cords and literally whipped the money changes out of the temple.
Im pretty sure he was quite angry when he was kicking over the tables.

Sometimes, we as Christians, get the idea that to be meek is to react weak.
This is not the case.
The bible tells you to turn the other cheek, but it does not tell you to back down or become a door mat in your effort to make peace.

Sometimes, for example, Paul would turn a Christian "over to Satan for the destruction of the Flesh".
In other words, a Christian was causing a mess, often theologically so that others were left confused, in the dark, and even discouraged, So Paul would set the wheels of the Spirit in motion and somebody would get some time-out in the crucible of God's corrective authority.

So, we have to use common sense and a balanced approach to dealing with people who are literally enjoying making your existence miserable.

The bible for example says that if you have a person who is just full of strife and brings this to your church, you are to send him down the road.

The principle of sacrificing one for the good of the many, didnt originate with Spock and Kirk.

Did you ever read Titus 3:9,10?
The bible isnt clear if this scripture is talking about a Christian or a nonbeliever, but what is clear is that people who refuse to accept clear doctrinal teaching, and will not receive correction.........after a couple of times......"bye bye".
This is probably referring to someone who just will not stop being a legalist, and will not stop trying to prove that you have keep the law to be "saved".
If you read Galatians, you'll see that Paul even says that anyone who is teaching any other gospel then......"saved by grace, without the works of the law".........Paul says . let that person be cursed of God.
Thats a fact.
So, when you see someone on a forum like this one just railing about "you can lose it".... or "if you sin knowingly, you are lost".....or trying to twist "faith without works is dead" to try to condemn Christians and bring them back under the bondage of keeping yourself saved by your deeds....
You are dealing with the exact type that Paul is talking about in Galatians.
Dont be that person.
Trust Christ alone for your salvation, and completely and utterly reject any attempt to try to save yourself by your works along with Christ's finished work.
And if someone tries to add "works and living it" to the Cross, then you are dealing with a Heretic, and you are not to continue to listen to them or tolerate them.
U are to admonish them, love them, and then if they wont stop with the legalism, you are to disconnect as they are "subverted", according to your Bible.

Now having said all that....keep in mind that when you forgive someone you cant stand, and yes, there are going to be people you cant stand in life....thats a given, so, when these people use you and take advantage of your Christian values, then of course you forgive them, and you pray for them.
That is your duty and a requirement.
However, God does not expect you to feel good about them, nor do you have to like them, nor do you have to feel like praying for them or feel like forgiving them.
Agape` love is not about liking your enemies;).
So, if you forgive and you dont feel it, and if you pray and you dont feel it, then that is about right.
Prayer and Forgiveness is not about feelings, or feeling it, its about releasing yourself from your bondage and its about allowing the grace of God through your prayers to invade the situation.


Look, your bible tells you that unless 2 be agreed, you can forget it.
Consider Paul and Barnabas......Acts 15:37-41
They parted "sharply", and that is bible lingo for "no good feelings and not a friendly situation".
So, If you just cant deal with someone in your life,.... if you just cant stand them..... then forgive and pray for them out loud and not in your mind.
Let God work on the situation, and you just let it go.
Maybe he will change you so that you can deal with them, or maybe he will change them so they can deal with you.
Ither way, when you forgive and pray, God is going to start operating on the situation.




K

 

[Chris.]

One thing I do know for sure about God is if you pray for a short cut and be magically transformed into a good example of dealing with these conflict situations you just might get sent lots of times where you can practice what you read in the bible about forgiveness.

 

[Arizona Jones]

Irritants in our lives can be like sand or become pearls. It is up to you to see them as valuable. God sees our irritants as pearls and we should look at the people in our lives that irritate us as valuable "pearls" as well. I feel God often places people in our lives that cause conflict because it is an opportunity for spiritual growth. God is not interested in my comfort but in my character. I will tell you I did not want to hear this because there had been people in my life who were making me miserable and I was becoming bitter with time.

Now I found this out about bitterness. Everyone in their walk eventually will come to this place and it is very important what you do here. In Exodus 15:23-26 the people came to a place called "Marah". The water there was bitter. The people complained against Moses. So he cried out to the Lord and God showed him a tree. When he cast the tree into the water the water was made sweet. So we can complain but it does not change the bitterness. Or we can place the tree that was there all along in the water and change bitterness to sweetness. The tree is the cross and it’s been there all along and it transforms the bitterness to sweetness and the irritants to pearls.

This is very important what you do in these places in your lives because it says in Exodus 15:25 "there He tested them". Sometimes God places bitter circumstances in our lives to test us and see what is in our hearts and what we will do. When someone hurts me I want them to pay a price to make it right. The problem is this. Someone already did. On the cross. Jesus already paid for the sins of the world. Do I believe Jesus paid for my sins? Do I believe Jesus sacrifice was good enough for my forgiveness? If I do then I have to let His payment be good enough for others as well.

Matthew 13:45-46. “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls. Who when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.†Yep he bought those pearls (my irritants) at a great price and I’m probably irritating to. Hope someone gives me grace to see me as a pearl.

 

[elijah23]

I am a youth football coach and there was a situation that occured last season that caused me to remove myself and my family from that situation. Now with the new season fastly approaching and we are in the mist of off season training, I am coming across these same people again. I forgave them last year and even asked God to forgive them for wronging my family and my son who was on the team. But, when I see their faces, I just cringe and get really angry. My mind starts thinking bad thoughts and I wish nothing but evil to happen to them. I know it is wrong, and I ask the Lord to forgive me for feeling that way and I ask him to take this anger away so that I can have peace about it.

It is so hard to love your enemies.

I think people misunderstand love. Love, in the biblical sense, I believe, is not how we feel about people, but how we treat them.

 

[Chris.]

I think people misunderstand love. Love, in the biblical sense, I believe, is not how we feel about people, but how we treat them.

Right on there. Love is an attitude of putting others equal or more than yourself and genuinely caring about them. It always has thier best intentions in mind.

 

[MaxTO]

We all fall short of the glory of God , all of us .

I try and remember that I , like those who may have wronged me , are no worse than me as we are both sinners .

I simply try and pray that Gods will be done , not mine . And if wrong doing is to come my way then it's my responsibility to see to it that I handle myself in a proper way based on what I claim to believe .

Having said that , it can be hard at times , no doubt . But hey , we were never promised that it would be easy :help