I'm afraid I've genuinely lost my salvation - please read my story and help!

[Nicholas]

Hello all,

As my title states, I believe I've genuinely lost my salvation.

At the age of 20, I took the altar call, went in front of my church, announced my belief in Christ and was baptized.

About fifteen years later, I became fearful that I was neither hot nor cold, but was lukewarm. It is here that I believe I made a fatal mistake: I decided that I'd be better off cold than lukewarm, as I was afraid I didn't have what it took to be 'hot'. So, in my foolishness, I renounced my faith in Christ. I began to testify that Christ was a myth, and that Christianity was a falsehood.

I carried this testimony of unbelief for several years. About four years ago, I felt as though God was pulling at my heart. Like He was saying "Okay Nicholas, you've played around enough, it's time to come home now." I proceeded to return to church, take the altar call again, went before the congregation and announced my belief in Christ and that I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior, and took a second baptism.

However, I am greatly concerned. I backslid VERY egregiously, went waaay over the line, so far did I go that I'm afraid all is lost, and my soul is irretrievably consigned to Hell. Perhaps what I felt in my heart about God calling me back was merely vanity, and not really true. Bottom line, I'm terrified - very much so - and would like to get opinions from Christians here, who are surely more knowledgeable than myself, as to whether or not I am now eternally damned.

Thank you so very much, in advance. If I have put this thread in the wrong place, I apologize - please advise me if this is so, as this topic is of dire concern to me and I'm desperately seeking opinions!

 

[Eugene]

I renounced my faith in Christ. I began to testify that Christ was a myth, and that Christianity was a falsehood.

Dear Nicholas, welcome here in Jesus' name, and you seem to have good biblical company; Peter denied our Lord three times. Mat 26:75.
Only you and God know if you truly ever once called upon the name of Jesus.
Rom 10:13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Rom 10:14 How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed?

I wrote the following pamphlet I hope will give you understanding if you remain in Christ or not.
Salvation with Security – 1, 2, 3
http://www.christianforums.net/Fell...ds/salvation-with-security-parts-1-2-3.52236/

 

[Cygnus]

Hello all,

As my title states, I believe I've genuinely lost my salvation.

At the age of 20, I took the altar call, went in front of my church, announced my belief in Christ and was baptized.

About fifteen years later, I became fearful that I was neither hot nor cold, but was lukewarm. It is here that I believe I made a fatal mistake: I decided that I'd be better off cold than lukewarm, as I was afraid I didn't have what it took to be 'hot'. So, in my foolishness, I renounced my faith in Christ. I began to testify that Christ was a myth, and that Christianity was a falsehood.

I carried this testimony of unbelief for several years. About four years ago, I felt as though God was pulling at my heart. Like He was saying "Okay Nicholas, you've played around enough, it's time to come home now." I proceeded to return to church, take the altar call again, went before the congregation and announced my belief in Christ and that I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior, and took a second baptism.

However, I am greatly concerned. I backslid VERY egregiously, went waaay over the line, so far did I go that I'm afraid all is lost, and my soul is irretrievably consigned to Hell. Perhaps what I felt in my heart about God calling me back was merely vanity, and not really true. Bottom line, I'm terrified - very much so - and would like to get opinions from Christians here, who are surely more knowledgeable than myself, as to whether or not I am now eternally damned.

Thank you so very much, in advance. If I have put this thread in the wrong place, I apologize - please advise me if this is so, as this topic is of dire concern to me and I'm desperately seeking opinions!

I'm going to make an assumption that you were truly saved. If that be the case you are still saved...despite what you have done or denounced.
One way we can know you can't lose your salvation is by seeing what the bible has to say....

John 10:27 My sheep listen to My voice; I know them, and they follow Me. 28 I givethem eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them out of My hand. 29 My Father who has given them to Me is greater than all. No one can snatch them out of My Father’s hand.

If you could lose your salvation then it's possible to go against what Jesus said and be taken from Him.

Another verse is Romans 8:38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels norprincipalities, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

In your post you said "So, in my foolishness, I renounced my faith in Christ. I began to testify that Christ was a myth, and that Christianity was a falsehood."......In other words you knew the truth, were deceived (snatched) then acted upon that deception. BUT, and a good "but" for you..the bible says you can't be snatched from Jesus. For the believer nothing can..."separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. "

On the other hand, even though your salvation is secure...as you were bought and paid for...sealed with the Holy Spirit...you seemed to have suffered great loss in personal fellowship with the Lord.

Just for the record, there are some here that teach you can lose your salvation....they even have a verse for you that says once you've lost your salvation, you can never get it back. This is a false theology.

Then again....I started out with the assumption you were truly saved, born again, regenerated.....but John had this to say concerning some people that have found themselves in a situation similiar to yours:
1 John 2:19 They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us.

The bottom line, if at age 20 you were a true believer.....you're still saved. Never lost your salvation. The bible instructs us to be on guard so we don't fall into the pit you found yourself in.

 

[Not_Now.Soon]

It's ok to feel remorse for turning away from God. What you did is between you and God. And only you two can know the severity. But take heart. Jesus taught in a parable about the Kingdom of Heaven, and tgen showed the live of a father to his wayward son who demanded his inhertiance and left. The son returned broke, and willing to take on the role of a servent instead of his father's son, because of what he did. But instead the father saw the son returning and rushed to meet him and celibrate his son's return.
Jesus called God Father, and gave us permission to do the same. So take heart. Our Heavenly Father loves us dearly. Jesus has also said that all of heaven celibrates when one sinner comes to God. More then if a person stayed with God and never left.

Take heart because God loves each of us. And loves you. Like a father's love.

 

[Nicholas]

Thank you all so much! This gives me heart and hope.

I prayed to The Father, that if He was still listening to me, to please speak through anyone who responded to deliver me unto the truth. I have been doing my best to follow Christ since my return, but admittedly have been forsaking fellowship. We have a special needs child that prevents my wife and I from getting out a lot. I know it sounds like a lame excuse. I've been in the market for an Internet group, for two reasons 1) to submit my embarrassing story and collect opinions and 2) to maybe join and get my fellowship that way.

Again, I cannot thank you all enough for the kind and reassuring responses!

God bless you all and maranatha.

With love,

Nicholas

 

[markathome]

Just for the record, there are some here that teach you can lose your salvation....they even have a verse for you that says once you've lost your salvation, you can never get it back. This is a false theology.

Guess I'll play the bad guy.2

At the age of 20, I took the altar call, went in front of my church, announced my belief in Christ and was baptized.

Saw hundreds upon hundreds while running the Bus Ministry, most of them around 10-15, greatest sight in the world to see a kid who has serious issue's make that choice. But it's a lot like an engagement to get married, some are ready & some are not, so they backslide. That Word sown in your Heart doesn't return to God void, it did it's Job!

About fifteen years later, I became fearful that I was neither hot nor cold, but was lukewarm. It is here that I believe I made a fatal mistake: I decided that I'd be better off cold than lukewarm, as I was afraid I didn't have what it took to be 'hot'. So, in my foolishness, I renounced my faith in Christ. I began to testify that Christ was a myth, and that Christianity was a falsehood.

Again the Word that was sown in your Heart didn't return to God void!
If Christ would have returned & found you LukeWarm you would had realized you made the correct choice of the 2 bad choices you had!
To have what it takes to be 'hot' requires the Holy Spirit.

I carried this testimony of unbelief for several years. About four years ago, I felt as though God was pulling at my heart. Like He was saying "Okay Nicholas, you've played around enough, it's time to come home now." I proceeded to return to church, take the altar call again, went before the congregation and announced my belief in Christ and that I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior, and took a second baptism.

Like an another engagement to get married, some are ready & some are not, so they backslide.
Don't Backslide again this time!
Hebrews 6:4-6 is some scary stuff but since you was brought back to repentance then you haven't been Baptized in the Holy Spirit YET!
to whom much is given, much will be required! Matthew 24:42-51

However, I am greatly concerned. I backslid VERY egregiously, went waaay over the line, so far did I go that I'm afraid all is lost, and my soul is irretrievably consigned to Hell. Perhaps what I felt in my heart about God calling me back was merely vanity, and not really true. Bottom line, I'm terrified - very much so - and would like to get opinions from Christians here, who are surely more knowledgeable than myself, as to whether or not I am now eternally damned.

Thank you so very much, in advance. If I have put this thread in the wrong place, I apologize - please advise me if this is so, as this topic is of dire concern to me and I'm desperately seeking opinions!

Quit doubting & TRUST IN JESUS! He has a plan for you!

 

[Zackuth]

Nicholas, since you are so afraid of losing your faith, I really don't think you have. If you truly lost faith, you wouldn't be concerned whether you had it or not. Your basis for your crisis of faith is your feeling of hot and cold--do not use this as your basis! There have been many times I don't "feel like a Christian" but feelings are not a part of salvation, only Jesus' sacrificial death and God's gift of faith are. Listen less to your feelings where the devil can have influence and rely more on God's promise where the devil has no influence.

 

[Edward]

markathome nailed it, Brother. The proof of what He says is in your own mind & conscience. That you're worried and convicted about it...is the work of the Holy Spirit! (Through the Word which was sown in your heart, like stated).

To have what it takes to be 'hot' requires the Holy Spirit.

This here is a bullseye, and true. No one can go to God unless called. One doesn't wake up today and say, I'll be hot today...it could be a desire of your heart to do this, but is given by the Holy Spirit.

Feed your spirit, Brother. Your spirit food is the Word of God. Read that book, meditate on it, study it...that gives the Holy Spirit something to work with within you...you sow the seeds, the Holy Spirit waters it.
Pray about all this. Talk to the Lord like you would your best friend. Tell Him what you want.

 

[Nicholas]

Again, thank you all!

I'm going to join here if I can. I mostly lurk but will have questions, as I'm planning my second run through (mostly) the New Testament.

Maranatha!

Nicholas

 

[dirtfarmer]

hello Nicholas, dirtfarmer here

Jesus said in John 5:39 that salvation is not in scripture but in him. The scriptures testify of the savior but are not the savior. If you are trying to find salvation in the written word you will never find it. Have you ever died to self and let Jesus Christ live through you? If you have then salvation has come to you. It is a personal thing between you and Christ, no one else.

 

[Nathaniel Miles]

Hello all,

As my title states, I believe I've genuinely lost my salvation.

At the age of 20, I took the altar call, went in front of my church, announced my belief in Christ and was baptized.

About fifteen years later, I became fearful that I was neither hot nor cold, but was lukewarm. It is here that I believe I made a fatal mistake: I decided that I'd be better off cold than lukewarm, as I was afraid I didn't have what it took to be 'hot'. So, in my foolishness, I renounced my faith in Christ. I began to testify that Christ was a myth, and that Christianity was a falsehood.

I carried this testimony of unbelief for several years. About four years ago, I felt as though God was pulling at my heart. Like He was saying "Okay Nicholas, you've played around enough, it's time to come home now." I proceeded to return to church, take the altar call again, went before the congregation and announced my belief in Christ and that I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior, and took a second baptism.

However, I am greatly concerned. I backslid VERY egregiously, went waaay over the line, so far did I go that I'm afraid all is lost, and my soul is irretrievably consigned to Hell. Perhaps what I felt in my heart about God calling me back was merely vanity, and not really true. Bottom line, I'm terrified - very much so - and would like to get opinions from Christians here, who are surely more knowledgeable than myself, as to whether or not I am now eternally damned.

Thank you so very much, in advance. If I have put this thread in the wrong place, I apologize - please advise me if this is so, as this topic is of dire concern to me and I'm desperately seeking opinions!

 

[Nathaniel Miles]

Hello all,

As my title states, I believe I've genuinely lost my salvation.

At the age of 20, I took the altar call, went in front of my church, announced my belief in Christ and was baptized.

About fifteen years later, I became fearful that I was neither hot nor cold, but was lukewarm. It is here that I believe I made a fatal mistake: I decided that I'd be better off cold than lukewarm, as I was afraid I didn't have what it took to be 'hot'. So, in my foolishness, I renounced my faith in Christ. I began to testify that Christ was a myth, and that Christianity was a falsehood.

I carried this testimony of unbelief for several years. About four years ago, I felt as though God was pulling at my heart. Like He was saying "Okay Nicholas, you've played around enough, it's time to come home now." I proceeded to return to church, take the altar call again, went before the congregation and announced my belief in Christ and that I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior, and took a second baptism.

However, I am greatly concerned. I backslid VERY egregiously, went waaay over the line, so far did I go that I'm afraid all is lost, and my soul is irretrievably consigned to Hell. Perhaps what I felt in my heart about God calling me back was merely vanity, and not really true. Bottom line, I'm terrified - very much so - and would like to get opinions from Christians here, who are surely more knowledgeable than myself, as to whether or not I am now eternally damned.

Thank you so very much, in advance. If I have put this thread in the wrong place, I apologize - please advise me if this is so, as this topic is of dire concern to me and I'm desperately seeking opinions!

Nicholas:
Scripture says: "People who conceal their sins will not prosper,
but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy." Prov 28:13 NLT

Also: "If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.
My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. 2 He himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins—and not only our sins but the sins of all the world.
1 John 1:8-2:2 NLT
Confess your sin, repent and continue in the Lord. He is willing and able to forgive!

 

[th1b.taylor]

Hello all,

As my title states, I believe I've genuinely lost my salvation.

At the age of 20, I took the altar call, went in front of my church, announced my belief in Christ and was baptized.

About fifteen years later, I became fearful that I was neither hot nor cold, but was lukewarm. It is here that I believe I made a fatal mistake: I decided that I'd be better off cold than lukewarm, as I was afraid I didn't have what it took to be 'hot'. So, in my foolishness, I renounced my faith in Christ. I began to testify that Christ was a myth, and that Christianity was a falsehood.

I carried this testimony of unbelief for several years. About four years ago, I felt as though God was pulling at my heart. Like He was saying "Okay Nicholas, you've played around enough, it's time to come home now." I proceeded to return to church, take the altar call again, went before the congregation and announced my belief in Christ and that I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior, and took a second baptism.

However, I am greatly concerned. I backslid VERY egregiously, went waaay over the line, so far did I go that I'm afraid all is lost, and my soul is irretrievably consigned to Hell. Perhaps what I felt in my heart about God calling me back was merely vanity, and not really true. Bottom line, I'm terrified - very much so - and would like to get opinions from Christians here, who are surely more knowledgeable than myself, as to whether or not I am now eternally damned.

Thank you so very much, in advance. If I have put this thread in the wrong place, I apologize - please advise me if this is so, as this topic is of dire concern to me and I'm desperately seeking opinions!

Luke 16:11-32 frames your situation. In this parable, Jesus told, you are the younger son and God is the father. The very best picture I've seen painted and directly relating to this story was painted by a Chinese man. I'll do my best to relate the scene to you because it is so clear.


We all know the Old Testament Jew was forbidden to have anything to do with Pigs, just as the Hyper Islamist (ISIS, Al-Qaeda and many other Splinter Groups) will not eat it and fears for his Spiritual Life if he nears a pig.

But when his money had run out and he began to starve he returned to, just, be a Servant of his Father's. And he is rags and barefooted as he comes to the final portion of his jorney he is desperate. Now a proper Chinese Man will never be found, alive or dead with two colors of shoes. But from his informal clothing it is obvious he had been resting on the on the porch when he saw his youngest approaching, in the distance, he just grabbed two shoes from the pille on the porch by the door. It is thus that he has on one Blue Shoe and one Red Shoe, shameful and he does not care, his son has returned.

That is exactly where you stand right now, with Jesus wrapping His arms around you and demanding the servants bring you proper garments, shoes and a Family Ring that will identify you as the son His son and always was and forever will be!

You are sorrowful and it sounds to me as though you have and are repenting of the sins you; ve committed, and you walked away but now you have repented and returned. The unforgivable sin oes to the person the dies and never accepts Jesus as their Saviour.

 

[for_his_glory]

Nicholas your story is not unlike my own and many others. Our feelings were genuine, but it was not the altar nor the baptism that saved us, but us confessing Christ as our Lord and Savior, Romans 10:9, 10 and that we needed a personal relationship with Christ. It took me many years to discover that relationship and it was through the trials and tribulations of my own making that drew me to that relationship. Here is my testimony and I pray it helps you.


MY TESTIMONY
May 18th 1997

I am lost, confused and scared. Will I ever fit in anywhere in this life? I'm hurting, but who cares. I'm lonely and all alone within myself. I've been so used and abused. Where and when will it be my turn! Where are the open arms to hold me and hug me, to tell me I do matter in this life! Where is the voice to calm my tears of pain? I give and give, but nothing gives back in return. I'm mad and angry for what has been taken away from me! How do I go on? I search for God to answer my needs, but never get an answer.

I am a voice that cries out in the wilderness. Will no one listen! Will no one care! I feel like I am invisible at times and when I pray I feel my prayers are falling on deaf ears. I know God loves me. He has rescued me from death and destruction. He has rescued me from wanting to commit suicide. I have never opened my feelings with anyone except God. I have purged and purged until I cannot cry anymore. God has forgiven and forgot my past, how do I! I've been told I am strong and can handle my situations, guess what, I am not strong and I can't handle it anymore! Please God help me!

I am now ready to open up. I can't deal with the pain anymore. I want to let loose and completely die to myself and live for God. I'm asking for total deliverance of all the holds Satan has on me. I'm tired of fighting this on my own. I'm tired of Satan laughing at me and making me feel like nothing and always coming against me. Jesus, save me from my torment! You have called me into service and I am not ready. Lord God please perform a complete deliverance in me. Make my feet straight for what you are calling me to do. Show me how to do your will. Lord you know my heart and you know what I feel I need to do. Open that door and prepare me away.

This is the answer God gave me. When you cry out to him, he will hear you and speak to your heart. You might not like the answer he gives you, but if you really listen it is always the right answer

11 Kings 5:10, 11
But Naaman was wroth and went away and said, Behold, I thought he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God and strike his hand over the place and recover the leper.

God was showing me in the above scripture the beginning of relying solely on him and not what man could do for me. I was going from church to church trying to fit in with the people. I was trying to find answers and help for myself through the recognition of man. All that got me was more disappointment and frustration. When I learned to give myself totally over to the Lord and rely on him alone and his word is when my life completely changed for the better. Now I serve God with a glad heart and praise him for all his wonderful blessings.

 

[I'M Grams]

At a time like you ! my family just went to another church ........ no religion......... and we all became saved !

For 50 some years we felt un saved............. now 30 years later we are all still saved and know the truth......... !

 

[Jim Parker]

I believe I've genuinely lost my salvation.

If you are concerned about having lost your salvation then you have NOT lost your salvation.
That feeling is called "remorse".
Repent, start again and keep going.

jim

 

[Edward]

If you are concerned about having lost your salvation then you have NOT lost your salvation.
That feeling is called "remorse".
Repent, start again and keep going.

jim

Exactly. Because that is the Holy Spirit convicting him, proof that God is dealing with him. And if God is still working with someone, then he's good. He has not been given over to a reprobate mind! (Romans 1:26-32)

 

[Watching Thomas]

Hi Nicholas, you are probably feeling much better after reading the answers you got here to your question. I'd like to add a little bit. You said you were afraid you had lost your salvation. In my opinion (as a Christian who loves Jesus and the Word) after reading your post including about how badly you backslid, I am certain you did not lose your salvation. Possibly you were confused and reacting in a way that was not spiritually healthy, but hey, in your post you are showing signs of repentance and desire for God. You are not eternally dammed.

Again in my opinion, you will suffer now for a time from attacks of the enemy. Especially I reckon you will attacked by doubt and low self worth. You have a heap of Godly people above who have already told you that you are saved. But the enemy will try and whisper doubt in your ear. This is the season to relax in God's love for you and reject those whispers. The whispers can not hurt you but if you listen to them and start investing some belief in them, they will bite you.

And fight against the enemy telling you that you are no good or not acceptable to God. Even with things like you and your wife having a special needs child, it can take heaps of extra energy and make it hard to get to church. If you don't get there as often as you want, that is okay as far as I understand from Scripture. My family had health issues which often stopped us getting to church. I was once called a backslider because of it but I didn't care. I knew I was not and in a quiet way I am still going on for God forty years after that. So you can too.

Watching Thomas

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

Nicholas, I can honestly say that I know how you feel. I am one who has made a few bad mistakes in my lifetime and turning away from God is probably the biggest mistake you ever made. Having doubts from time to time about my own salvation, I'm really glad that this thread was started. It taught me if I feel guilty and remorseful about something I did and repent of it, I will still be forgiven and have my salvation.

 

[I'M Grams]

As long as you believe in GOD and JESUS.........

What did JESUS go to the cross for ?????????? if not for our sins....... GOD knows we are not perfect !