LanaPodesta
Member
Hey...I wasn't sure where to post this.
So my Dad is married to a woman he's know basically as long as he's known my Mom...
He never married my Mom but they had me and about a year later my younger sister was born...to his current wife. Yeah. So I have a slightly younger sister and also my brother who is a toddler. Me and my sister fight a lot but I absolutely adore my baby brother. Sometimes I don't really feel like a sister to my sister but I really do to my baby brother. My Dad has a bigger house than my Mom so we both spend a lot of time there and we live pretty close by, so it feels like an extended (if dysfunctional) family.
Anyway I am noticing that my Dad and my Mom are spending a lot of time together, and he even sometimes stays overnight at my Mom's house...
My Dad is also spending a lot of time with his wife's 'maid'* and that's also a bit suspicious...
My stepmom and my Dad seem to be arguing a lot more, if they're not just completely ignoring each other. I find my stepmom is acting a lot more resentful and seems to suggest that I'm a bad influence. I also feel like her and my sister are jealous of me having a good relationship with my baby brother.
My concern is my Dad getting divorced, not being able to see his children with his wife, me never seeing my baby brother again and my Dad resenting me and my Mom. I get the idea that my Dad and my Mom are very close but that they don't really 'love' each other. And yes, having to type that out really freaking hurts. I don't doubt that they love me but I do feel that I am an accident at best and somedays a mistake at worst.
I'm considering talking to my Spiritual Father about this but our family situation is controversial enough at my church...I don't want to bring 'more' shame upon my family...
What can I do? I am praying about this every day but I don't really feel I can talk to anyone at church about this. I'm 14 years old so I'm old enough to fast but I'm not very disciplined with this at all. Me and my Dad have a good relationship but he always avoids the issue and sometimes he gets angry because he provides for my Mom and me as well as his other family.
I know sounds silly but because me and my Mom own a dog that Dad considers to be 'his' as well. The dog is my Mom's but he's a Giant Breed guard dog and we need a man around to help train and discipline. He is very loyal and protective of me and my Mom but if he isn't consistently trained he can become dangerous to others and we rely on my Dad to help with that. So if my Dad abandons us not only will we struggle financially but we will really struggle to contain our dog and I love him so much and I don't want to lose him
I am really seriously worried and I just want things to be somewhat normal, even if that means being in a broken home. I think if my Dad had to choose he would pick his family with his wife over me and my Mom and I'm scared I will never see my Dad, my sister, my baby brother, I'm worried what will happen with my dog and I don't want me and my Mom to be thrust into poverty.
I'm mostly writing this just to vent but any advice would be great. I really hope I'm overthinking this.
*a woman that my stepmom grew up with who is from a much poorer background. She is better educated than my stepmom but she has basically lived with her her entire life and sometimes shares the bed with my stepmom...yeah it's pretty weird
So my Dad is married to a woman he's know basically as long as he's known my Mom...
He never married my Mom but they had me and about a year later my younger sister was born...to his current wife. Yeah. So I have a slightly younger sister and also my brother who is a toddler. Me and my sister fight a lot but I absolutely adore my baby brother. Sometimes I don't really feel like a sister to my sister but I really do to my baby brother. My Dad has a bigger house than my Mom so we both spend a lot of time there and we live pretty close by, so it feels like an extended (if dysfunctional) family.
Anyway I am noticing that my Dad and my Mom are spending a lot of time together, and he even sometimes stays overnight at my Mom's house...
My Dad is also spending a lot of time with his wife's 'maid'* and that's also a bit suspicious...
My stepmom and my Dad seem to be arguing a lot more, if they're not just completely ignoring each other. I find my stepmom is acting a lot more resentful and seems to suggest that I'm a bad influence. I also feel like her and my sister are jealous of me having a good relationship with my baby brother.
My concern is my Dad getting divorced, not being able to see his children with his wife, me never seeing my baby brother again and my Dad resenting me and my Mom. I get the idea that my Dad and my Mom are very close but that they don't really 'love' each other. And yes, having to type that out really freaking hurts. I don't doubt that they love me but I do feel that I am an accident at best and somedays a mistake at worst.
I'm considering talking to my Spiritual Father about this but our family situation is controversial enough at my church...I don't want to bring 'more' shame upon my family...
What can I do? I am praying about this every day but I don't really feel I can talk to anyone at church about this. I'm 14 years old so I'm old enough to fast but I'm not very disciplined with this at all. Me and my Dad have a good relationship but he always avoids the issue and sometimes he gets angry because he provides for my Mom and me as well as his other family.
I know sounds silly but because me and my Mom own a dog that Dad considers to be 'his' as well. The dog is my Mom's but he's a Giant Breed guard dog and we need a man around to help train and discipline. He is very loyal and protective of me and my Mom but if he isn't consistently trained he can become dangerous to others and we rely on my Dad to help with that. So if my Dad abandons us not only will we struggle financially but we will really struggle to contain our dog and I love him so much and I don't want to lose him
I am really seriously worried and I just want things to be somewhat normal, even if that means being in a broken home. I think if my Dad had to choose he would pick his family with his wife over me and my Mom and I'm scared I will never see my Dad, my sister, my baby brother, I'm worried what will happen with my dog and I don't want me and my Mom to be thrust into poverty.
I'm mostly writing this just to vent but any advice would be great. I really hope I'm overthinking this.
*a woman that my stepmom grew up with who is from a much poorer background. She is better educated than my stepmom but she has basically lived with her her entire life and sometimes shares the bed with my stepmom...yeah it's pretty weird