Is Birth Control Sinful In Marriage?

[Eugene]

Pretty sure that one verse was about some law stating that if a woman's husband dies and she had no children his next of kin is supposed to marry her and give her children? I think back then children were actually supposed to provide for their parents in old age.

Concerning Gen 38:6-10 you are correct. Many though have attempted to use these verses through the years to justify some law against birth control.

 

[Kathi]

Thanks for that great explanation that sheds a ton of light on how "the pill" really works and completely debunks the idea that it is the equivalent of killing a baby! For those like me that didn't know how it worked, just that it did, this helps a lot!

I do know that some IUD's abort but I am not aware that birth control pills do.Do your research.Having children or using contraception is between the couple and God with much prayer.It is not the use of contraception that is the problem it is the motivation behind it.It is for selfish reasons?I have heard of couples where the woman has had her tubes tied and the man has had a vasectomy and she got pregnant.It is rare but it has happened.So when God wants that soul on this earth it will happen whether you want it to or not.

 

[evenifigoalone]

As the owner of a uterus, I can't say I appreciate the idea that if I get married I should expect to experience pregnancy after pregnancy. I'm not against the possibility of kids one day in the event I get married at some point, but I'd really rather have the option to limit that.

Sure yeah, if I were to get pregnant, take responsibility and raise the kid. No argument there. And also realistically accept that with marriage comes the possibility of children--unless abstinence is practiced, but there is no way a couple living together isn't going to end up getting intimate at some point. (Which is why it is wrong for people who are not married to live together.)

I can understand why some are against the birth control pill even if I don't agree. No one has to take it. But to go so far as to say any birth control method, even those that merely prevent conception or make it much less likely (condoms, rhythm method, etc) is murder...? Not fertilizing an egg is murder? If that's murder then I've been guilty of murder whenever I've had my menstrual cycle.

I can also kinda sorta understand wanting to trust God over birth control, I guess--what you do with your life is none of my business. The thing is that the Bible doesn't say that trying to lessen the possibility of children is a sin. Plus if it's God's will for someone to get pregnant, birth control certainly isn't going to stop it from happening. Not to mention nothing short of actual sterilization is going to be 100% effective.

 

[jasonc]

I do know that some IUD's abort but I am not aware that birth control pills do.Do your research.Having children or using contraception is between the couple and God with much prayer.It is not the use of contraception that is the problem it is the motivation behind it.It is for selfish reasons?I have heard of couples where the woman has had her tubes tied and the man has had a vasectomy and she got pregnant.It is rare but it has happened.So when God wants that soul on this earth it will happen whether you want it to or not.

autumn my older step-child had a child and was told before her first child that any pregnancy for her could be fatal. and she nearly died giving birth to the second child.

 

[Kathi]

If the Lord Blesses a couple with a child that is a Blessing from God.God expects that couple to love that child and care for that child.If not there would be horrible consequences and judgment.If a couple is not prepared to do that then don't have them.

 

[jasonc]

If the Lord Blesses a couple with a child that is a Blessing from God.God expects that couple to love that child and care for that child.If not there would be horrible consequences and judgment.If a couple is not prepared to do that then don't have them.

oh, autumn, an atheist, last I heard is grateful for both her kids.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

...I can't say I appreciate the idea that if I get married I should expect to experience pregnancy after pregnancy. I'm not against the possibility of kids one day in the event I get married at some point, but I'd rather have the option to limit that if needed.

You do have that control. Before you get married, talk about your desires and expectations for children with your husband to be, and DON"T GET MARRIED IF YOUR'S ARE NOT IN LINE WITH HIS. And after you are married incorporate self-control into your family planning in accordance with what you understand and agree with about each others desires and expectations for child bearing.

...but there is no way a couple living together isn't going to end up getting intimate at some point.

I agree....just do that when it's safe to do that if you're not purposely trying to have children. As a born again believer you are not to be a helpless victim to the demands of your body.

But to go so far as to say any birth control method, even those that merely prevent conception or make it much less likely (condoms, rhythm method, etc) is murder...?

Unless I missed it I don't think anyone is putting that forth in this thread.

Not fertilizing an egg is murder?

Absolutely not.

If that's murder then I've been guilty of murder whenever I've had my menstrual cycle.

I agree, that is ridiculous.

The thing is that the Bible doesn't say that trying to make the possibility of children less likely is a sin.

For New Covenant saints, I agree.

What the Bible does talk about is the fruit of the Spirit called 'self-control'.

Plus if it's God's will for someone to get pregnant, birth control certainly isn't going to stop it from happening.

While definitely true, I personally don't think people should use that as an excuse to not nurture the fruit of self-control in regard to sexual desire. I'm not suggesting you were making that point. I just want to address that facet of what you're saying.

 

[evenifigoalone]

Fair enough.
Another reason I'd want to limit the possibility of pregnancy is because for my mom, it caused her to have blood clots in her legs. Showed up after I was born, got worse after my brother was born (she was hospitalized over it), and these days she has to take Coumadin to manage it--has to give herself shots in the stomach if her bloodwork isn't stable enough for Coumadin. And the doctors said this is genetic, so if I were to have kids, this is a possibility I'd have to be prepared for. (Unless I didn't inherit that particular gene, but I haven't gotten it tested.) And to my understanding, if she had had a third pregnancy, it would have been dangerous.

Unless I missed it I don't think anyone is putting that forth in this thread.

Not outright, but that's what it sounded like some were saying. Maybe I just misunderstood.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

...these days she has to take Coumadin to manage it

I had to read this twice....At first it looked like you said she had to take Communion to manage it.

 

[Deborah13]

Completely debunks the idea? I'm pretty sure she said it's unlikely, not that it's impossible. I would consult your wife's gynecologist before deciding that the pill absolutely does not allow implantation to occur while taking the pill and, therefore, removes the risk of having that implantation aborted by the pill. I personally don't know for sure if that's true, or not, but I do think Christian couples should do the homework about it.

Most of all, I believe Christian couples should 1) understand that sex is about having babies, accept it. And because that's true, 2) learn self-control in accordance with what you both agree about in regard to having children.

If we understand sex is about having babies, doesn't that mean no having sex when the wife has been made pregnant?
So it would seem that sex would only be when she was not pregnant, right?

 

[Jethro Bodine]

If we understand sex is about having babies, doesn't that mean no having sex when the wife has been made pregnant?
So it would seem that sex would only be when she was not pregnant, right?

Any married person knows sex is more than just having babies. What I'm resisting is the modern thinking that somehow sexual pleasure is an entity unto itself and having babies is something extra that gets added to it. When actually it is the other things that make up the extras added on. Modern birth control is responsible for this attitude that sex is primarily for pleasure and the having kids part of it is the nuisance that gets added on to it.

If anyone is having trouble understanding this (because this attitude is so ingrained in our society) think about how eating is for nourishing the body and the pleasure connected with that is not what eating is all about. But that hardly means eating for nourishment is all that eating has in it.

 

[th1b.taylor]

Any married person knows sex is more than just having babies. What I'm resisting is the modern thinking that somehow sexual pleasure is an entity unto itself and having babies is something extra that gets added to it. When actually it is the other things that make up the extras added on. Modern birth control is responsible for this attitude that sex is primarily for pleasure and the having kids part of it is the nuisance that gets added on to it.

If anyone is having trouble understanding this (because this attitude is so ingrained in our society) think about how eating is for nourishing the body and the pleasure connected with that is not what eating is all about. But that hardly means eating for nourishment is all that eating has in it.

LOL! Easy Jethro, you get these ladies upset and they come after my hamburgers, fried fish and french fries and I'll come after you with my chopper and all guns blazing.

 

[evenifigoalone]

lol I'm all for common sense.

...darn it, now I want to go cook myself a hamburger. Or at least a steak-um (hamburger meat cut thin like lunch meat).

 

[reba]

Any married person knows sex is more than just having babies. What I'm resisting is the modern thinking that somehow sexual pleasure is an entity unto itself and having babies is something extra that gets added to it. When actually it is the other things that make up the extras added on. Modern birth control is responsible for this attitude that sex is primarily for pleasure and the having kids part of it is the nuisance that gets added on to it.

If anyone is having trouble understanding this (because this attitude is so ingrained in our society) think about how eating is for nourishing the body and the pleasure connected with that is not what eating is all about. But that hardly means eating for nourishment is all that eating has in it.

Yup

 

[Eugene]

For them that are free in what they allow before God, and still maintain communion with Him I suggest Heb 13:4. Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled, but I would suggest that each be convinced in their own mind so as to not be under condemnation that severs your ability to boldly and joyously go to God's throne of grace to obtain grace and mercy in your time of need. (Heb 4:16)

 

[Deborah13]

Any married person knows sex is more than just having babies. What I'm resisting is the modern thinking that somehow sexual pleasure is an entity unto itself and having babies is something extra that gets added to it. When actually it is the other things that make up the extras added on. Modern birth control is responsible for this attitude that sex is primarily for pleasure and the having kids part of it is the nuisance that gets added on to it.

If anyone is having trouble understanding this (because this attitude is so ingrained in our society) think about how eating is for nourishing the body and the pleasure connected with that is not what eating is all about. But that hardly means eating for nourishment is all that eating has in it.

Quote
"Modern birth control is responsible for this attitude that sex is primarily for pleasure and the having kids part of it is the nuisance that gets added on to it."

I would propose the modern birth control may not have even been invented if that attitude of sexual pleasure without kids didn't already exist. We can't blame our attitudes on modern birth control methods, that's just plain silly. Men and women both had been trying to keep from getting pregnant for thousands of years for many different reasons.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Although I think risks and side effects of different forms of birth control have to be taken into consideration, I think this is one of those cases of "better living through chemistry."

 

[Kathi]

Although I think risks and side effects of different forms of birth control have to be taken into consideration, I think this is one of those cases of "better living through chemistry."

There are huge risks of birth control pills especially if a person is a smoker for blood clots.Some have died from that.

 

[evenifigoalone]

True, but that's the case with most pills--like the ones I take that help me manage my cycle (not birth control). Even my dog's flea control meds--the vast majority of dogs on it were fine (including my dog), others nearly died or did die from taking it. It's a risk you take with OTC drugs.

 

[hallowbonnie]

No I dont believe birth control in marriage is sinful.I never wanted to have children and neither did my husband when I was married .:biggrin