handy
Member
It's happened again....
We got another wedding invitation. This one, from a couple who have been living together sans marriage for about two years now. This is a distant cousin of his... I had to ask him to remind me who she was because we don't normally keep in contact with her, but we do send cards and pics of the kids to her mother, a cousin of Steve's mom and Steve's mom was able to fill us in on the details of her and her fiance.
They are both older, she's in her late 20's and he in his early 30's and they have a little girl. She also has a daughter from a previous relationship and he's been a good dad to her. They own their own home and have been established in life for a number of years now. Both are working professionals, she in the medical field and he in a corporation.
Oh, and they live out of state and given the distance of both the relationship and the wedding itself, Steve doesn't want to go, especially since we can't afford a trip to PA this summer.
I'm glad they are getting married, if only because they have children and I think it's best kids have parents who are married to each other. To my knowledge, they're not Christians. But, I really don't know them at all. I met her once back in 2006, when we were at a family reunion picnic and we chatted with her for about 3 minutes.
So, we get this invitation to their wedding... and in the invitation there is a little card that basically says, "We don't need gifts, if you choose to honor us with one, please send money." OK, that isn't exactly how it's phrased, but that's the bottom line.
This is about the third wedding invitation we've received that had a "money only" note in it and they've all been from people who've lived together and have already established their household...one couple specified that the money would fund their honeymoon trip to Hawaii.
I just find this very rude. Like, just because they decide to make their living arrangement a legal one and throw an expensive party for it, we're supposed to give them a chunk of money. Maybe I'm turning into a cranky old woman, but why should we help fund a trip to Hawaii for two people who had lived as a couple for over 5 years, when we can't even afford to take the kid's to Roaring Springs or Boondocks?
Growing up in the '70's, I was taught that Bridal Showers helped give the bride the things she would need for her new home, sheets, towels, flatware, pots and pans, etc.... and wedding gifts were for giving the young couple some nice things, things they wouldn't really be able to afford to buy for themselves for a while... a place setting of their nice china, crystal glasses, cut glass vase... If one didn't know the specific taste of the couple one could always give a nice card with some cash in it, or, if one knew the couple didn't have a lot, one could give both the silver candelabra and some cash.
But, then again, that was back in the day when living together before marriage wasn't common (at least it wasn't in my neck of the woods) and couples were much, much younger, just out of college or even just out of high school. Most were moving from their parents home into their first apartment or starter house.
It's not that I mind giving presents to couples that have a long established household together... when some neighbors of ours turned back to God and wanted to honor Him by getting married after living together for 18 years, we sent them a gift certificate to a really nice restaurant. We figured after 18 years, 5 kids, 4 dogs and who knows how many cats, a little get away for the two them with a meal she didn't have to cook would be nice.
But, to have couples that have long established their home ask me to give them money just because they decided to tie the knot?
Have any of you been given invitations with money vouchers in them? How do you feel about it?
We got another wedding invitation. This one, from a couple who have been living together sans marriage for about two years now. This is a distant cousin of his... I had to ask him to remind me who she was because we don't normally keep in contact with her, but we do send cards and pics of the kids to her mother, a cousin of Steve's mom and Steve's mom was able to fill us in on the details of her and her fiance.
They are both older, she's in her late 20's and he in his early 30's and they have a little girl. She also has a daughter from a previous relationship and he's been a good dad to her. They own their own home and have been established in life for a number of years now. Both are working professionals, she in the medical field and he in a corporation.
Oh, and they live out of state and given the distance of both the relationship and the wedding itself, Steve doesn't want to go, especially since we can't afford a trip to PA this summer.
I'm glad they are getting married, if only because they have children and I think it's best kids have parents who are married to each other. To my knowledge, they're not Christians. But, I really don't know them at all. I met her once back in 2006, when we were at a family reunion picnic and we chatted with her for about 3 minutes.
So, we get this invitation to their wedding... and in the invitation there is a little card that basically says, "We don't need gifts, if you choose to honor us with one, please send money." OK, that isn't exactly how it's phrased, but that's the bottom line.
This is about the third wedding invitation we've received that had a "money only" note in it and they've all been from people who've lived together and have already established their household...one couple specified that the money would fund their honeymoon trip to Hawaii.
I just find this very rude. Like, just because they decide to make their living arrangement a legal one and throw an expensive party for it, we're supposed to give them a chunk of money. Maybe I'm turning into a cranky old woman, but why should we help fund a trip to Hawaii for two people who had lived as a couple for over 5 years, when we can't even afford to take the kid's to Roaring Springs or Boondocks?
Growing up in the '70's, I was taught that Bridal Showers helped give the bride the things she would need for her new home, sheets, towels, flatware, pots and pans, etc.... and wedding gifts were for giving the young couple some nice things, things they wouldn't really be able to afford to buy for themselves for a while... a place setting of their nice china, crystal glasses, cut glass vase... If one didn't know the specific taste of the couple one could always give a nice card with some cash in it, or, if one knew the couple didn't have a lot, one could give both the silver candelabra and some cash.
But, then again, that was back in the day when living together before marriage wasn't common (at least it wasn't in my neck of the woods) and couples were much, much younger, just out of college or even just out of high school. Most were moving from their parents home into their first apartment or starter house.
It's not that I mind giving presents to couples that have a long established household together... when some neighbors of ours turned back to God and wanted to honor Him by getting married after living together for 18 years, we sent them a gift certificate to a really nice restaurant. We figured after 18 years, 5 kids, 4 dogs and who knows how many cats, a little get away for the two them with a meal she didn't have to cook would be nice.
But, to have couples that have long established their home ask me to give them money just because they decided to tie the knot?
Have any of you been given invitations with money vouchers in them? How do you feel about it?
my dress was not white. 
2
) Weddings are very culturally oriented things. In Western culture, asking for gifts is considered very rude. Gifts are supposed to come from the heart of the giver. But, our gift giving occasions, Christmas, birthdays, weddings and anniversaries have become more and more "getting" occasions, with many just handing out a list of things others are to buy for them.