PrimFinallyFoundGod!
Member
Hey guys. Me and my partner are both doing a distance learning access course at a university. He's been treated so differently to me and disadvantaged it's really upsetting me. I'm relapsing today because I just feel so frustrated. It doesn't really help I weighed myself this morning only to see I've gained the weight back 
He's agnostic (but becoming more open minded slowly because of my faith journey/talking points) but I said I will pray for him. I have also reached out to the university politely threatening to make a formal complaint if the situation isn't sorted. Basically he has done exactly the same as me but only my essay is going to count towards my mark. It has nothing to do with the content. The system was down when he was trying to upload his essay (just after mine) and by the time it finally got through they consider that a late entry despite it being out of his control... (there is evidence on their system of this)
I'm stressed about my relapse. I don't want to be like this anymore. Everytime I get particularly stressed I just binge eat and sometimes even misuse substances. Sometimes it gets so bad I self harm. Today I have my wine out and I'm also binge eating. I hate it. I hope the group course the mental health coordinator I saw put me on actually helps. I've been struggling like this for far too long now.The only thing I'm winning at is resisting the urge to purge after I binge... but given my weight gain am I really winning by doing that?
On an unrelated subject, I decided to browse clothing online as that can be a stress relief for me. I like looking at modest fashion, smart shirts, long skirts, baggy t-shirts, wide leg trousers etc...
After this I decided to see what modest work-out gear they have since tight leggings and crop tops are usually what the masses wear now. I was totally shocked it just felt like I was looking at softcore pornography 90% of their lower clothes are just tight leggings that have special designs around the butt area to make it look huge and round. Butts everywhere.
I think what bothered me about it was this website is popular amongst teenage girls due to being affordable. What will my children have to deal with everywhere by the time I have kids? It's no wonder atheism and satanism are growing in popularity. It's become so hard to be faithful with the objectification of women literally everywhere, propaganda in schools and TV etc..
This was more explicit and obvious than it used to be on fashion sites even just a few years ago. Leggings are tight and reveal everything yes. But now they're making it so you look like Kim Kardashian? Unfortunately I'm not exaggerating. I won't upload the link or a screenshot because I don't want to upset anyone.
Working out is something women do for the same reason as men. To improve their health. Women don't just dance around half-naked trying to look "sexy" at the gym and barely break a sweat, their only concern being "I hope my butt looks good in this!" Is this really what people think of women? So little?
I understand the whole "empowerment" argument because I was on that train recently until I started to get more serious about finding faith. Men have used women's over-sexualised bodies to market their products for a VERY long time so it's only fair women can use their own bodies to do the same thing. That's basically the argument.
But I can see now it is simply manipulation. The solution isnt that women should do it too, it's that nobody should be doing it to women! They are so sooo much more than just a few body parts. Women are strong, smart, brave, kind, caring etc. They are sooo much. Humans regardless of their sex are very complex and there are so many components that make us up. We are not just body parts.
I personally love studying things, I like scary movies, I like ancient history and museums, I love scientific study, I love books, I'm a gardener, I'm a qualified hairdresser, I'm an animal lover and love to nurture them, I'm a full time carer for my partner, I am an ab*se survivor, I'm bilingual, I'm funny, I'm great at reading people, I like doing cardio for long periods, I have amazing lower body strength etc.. I could go on all year. There is so much that makes a woman unique, interesting and beautiful and it is not her body parts. But the body parts God gave women are "good" enough naturally without being pumped full of silicone and painful unneccesary surgeries.
I really feel for the young women in our society exposed to this stuff and manipulated. It's scary and really messed up. I think a woman's beauty is more than her body. Yes her body is beautiful too, it is God's creation. But due to the natural sinner's instinct to lust, it is better a woman dress modestly to show everyone that her faith, intelligence and every other quirk that makes her unique is what makes her beautiful and not just a walking sex object.
And even faith aside, it's simply about protection and safety! I often see women wearing shorts where you can see their butt, crop tops with half their breast showing and it is cold weather. You could get pretty ill from that and it is uncomfortable. The only reason why women go through this discomfort such as underdressing in cold weather, getting surgeries and painful "beauty" procedures is because society pressures and manipulates women into thinking it is what makes them beautiful! It's so sad.
When I was as young as 13 men started to whistle at me, shout things and even follow me. They didn't care if their wives were sitting next to them and kids sat in the back. Sometimes they'd be looking at me from the side window whilst driving, putting their family at risk! At 15 I was cornered in a store by men. I was still wearing more clothes than most women do (but not quite modest. clothes tend to be tight fitting for women now like skinny jeans tight chested t shirts etc).
Sorry for the ranting I just wanted to let it out, I'm not feeling as happy as usual today.
He's agnostic (but becoming more open minded slowly because of my faith journey/talking points) but I said I will pray for him. I have also reached out to the university politely threatening to make a formal complaint if the situation isn't sorted. Basically he has done exactly the same as me but only my essay is going to count towards my mark. It has nothing to do with the content. The system was down when he was trying to upload his essay (just after mine) and by the time it finally got through they consider that a late entry despite it being out of his control... (there is evidence on their system of this)
I'm stressed about my relapse. I don't want to be like this anymore. Everytime I get particularly stressed I just binge eat and sometimes even misuse substances. Sometimes it gets so bad I self harm. Today I have my wine out and I'm also binge eating. I hate it. I hope the group course the mental health coordinator I saw put me on actually helps. I've been struggling like this for far too long now.The only thing I'm winning at is resisting the urge to purge after I binge... but given my weight gain am I really winning by doing that?
On an unrelated subject, I decided to browse clothing online as that can be a stress relief for me. I like looking at modest fashion, smart shirts, long skirts, baggy t-shirts, wide leg trousers etc...
After this I decided to see what modest work-out gear they have since tight leggings and crop tops are usually what the masses wear now. I was totally shocked it just felt like I was looking at softcore pornography 90% of their lower clothes are just tight leggings that have special designs around the butt area to make it look huge and round. Butts everywhere.
I think what bothered me about it was this website is popular amongst teenage girls due to being affordable. What will my children have to deal with everywhere by the time I have kids? It's no wonder atheism and satanism are growing in popularity. It's become so hard to be faithful with the objectification of women literally everywhere, propaganda in schools and TV etc..
This was more explicit and obvious than it used to be on fashion sites even just a few years ago. Leggings are tight and reveal everything yes. But now they're making it so you look like Kim Kardashian? Unfortunately I'm not exaggerating. I won't upload the link or a screenshot because I don't want to upset anyone.
Working out is something women do for the same reason as men. To improve their health. Women don't just dance around half-naked trying to look "sexy" at the gym and barely break a sweat, their only concern being "I hope my butt looks good in this!" Is this really what people think of women? So little?
I understand the whole "empowerment" argument because I was on that train recently until I started to get more serious about finding faith. Men have used women's over-sexualised bodies to market their products for a VERY long time so it's only fair women can use their own bodies to do the same thing. That's basically the argument.
But I can see now it is simply manipulation. The solution isnt that women should do it too, it's that nobody should be doing it to women! They are so sooo much more than just a few body parts. Women are strong, smart, brave, kind, caring etc. They are sooo much. Humans regardless of their sex are very complex and there are so many components that make us up. We are not just body parts.
I personally love studying things, I like scary movies, I like ancient history and museums, I love scientific study, I love books, I'm a gardener, I'm a qualified hairdresser, I'm an animal lover and love to nurture them, I'm a full time carer for my partner, I am an ab*se survivor, I'm bilingual, I'm funny, I'm great at reading people, I like doing cardio for long periods, I have amazing lower body strength etc.. I could go on all year. There is so much that makes a woman unique, interesting and beautiful and it is not her body parts. But the body parts God gave women are "good" enough naturally without being pumped full of silicone and painful unneccesary surgeries.
I really feel for the young women in our society exposed to this stuff and manipulated. It's scary and really messed up. I think a woman's beauty is more than her body. Yes her body is beautiful too, it is God's creation. But due to the natural sinner's instinct to lust, it is better a woman dress modestly to show everyone that her faith, intelligence and every other quirk that makes her unique is what makes her beautiful and not just a walking sex object.
And even faith aside, it's simply about protection and safety! I often see women wearing shorts where you can see their butt, crop tops with half their breast showing and it is cold weather. You could get pretty ill from that and it is uncomfortable. The only reason why women go through this discomfort such as underdressing in cold weather, getting surgeries and painful "beauty" procedures is because society pressures and manipulates women into thinking it is what makes them beautiful! It's so sad.
When I was as young as 13 men started to whistle at me, shout things and even follow me. They didn't care if their wives were sitting next to them and kids sat in the back. Sometimes they'd be looking at me from the side window whilst driving, putting their family at risk! At 15 I was cornered in a store by men. I was still wearing more clothes than most women do (but not quite modest. clothes tend to be tight fitting for women now like skinny jeans tight chested t shirts etc).
Sorry for the ranting I just wanted to let it out, I'm not feeling as happy as usual today.
