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Just my awesome view

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If not Christianity, then what?
Christianity is the best of the God religions in my view. So much depth. A bottomless pit of meaning. Love is best expressed in Christianity.
Because when you choose to not believe in a higher power, you immediately elevate the importance of yourself and other people. It's scary to think, you would put all your trust in human beings.
I choose to put all my trust in a benevolent God. I believe He exists .
 
And you know an atheists fave word?
"Evidence"
No evidence no God.
Atheists worship "evidence".They refuse to accept any other type of thinking. This is where they are narrow in my view .
They are like frustrated police detectives who can't find evidence for the crime.
 
This is a vent so please ignore .
I use writing for very selfish reasons as you know.
I am sitting at a coffee shop here right now. Feeling very sorry for myself. And the self pity makes me feel guilty too.
Problems at work.
The wife is unhappy with me.
My leg pain continues.
Sometimes problems come like an avalanche. Or reach a peak.
Now the formulaic answer from a Christian is leave it all in God's hands. Pray. Sometimes that advice just irritates me. It's so easy to say that and wipe your hands. "There...I've given the right advice".
But we need a hopeful injection. Like a real solution. For example "here's a nice new job for you humble, one that won't hurt your back or legs". Or "see Dr. X , he will solve all those physical problems you have".
Sometimes life is too hard. And I am not up to the challenge. Let go and let God eh. Yeah, but I think he might be sick of me. "Go away humble and solve your own problems. You are too arrogant for me".
 
And I know my problems are minimal compared to others. That doesn't help to think or say that though.
 
Is God waiting for me to reach rock bottom? Do I have to lose everything? Do I have to become homeless? Wifeless? Dogless? Carless?
 
Here's a cliche for you.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Yes there is a lot of truth in that. But it's not 100% accurate.
I think of people losing their house in a fire. Those parents who lose a child in a tragedy. Those who end up in a wheel chair after an accident.
Imagine saying that to them.
People need a combination of kindness (softness) and tough love. Just tough love is cruel and unhelpful. Just softness is enabling that person to stay Ina rut and not try to get out .
 
I think the feeling of winning, of success, of reward, after a really tough time, after long hardship, after months , even years of doubt, is what makes life meaningful.
The stereotypical example is the athlete that trains for an Olympic gold. And wins.
But there are other examples that resonate better. Because we aren't all athletes.
It might giving out first good speech after years of nervousness.
Finally overcoming Weight gain.
Finding a partner we trust after years of bad relationships.
Finding God.
 
It may attract tears. Emotion. Because our faith is rewarded. We hung on despite the pain.
That might be the feeling of a good death. You know you've tried your best. You gave it your best shot. You didn't run away. God was there all the time but maybe you didn't know. His grace was there along. And now you are being rewarded. For hanging on. For not choosing suicide. For facing the day. For getting out of bed. For paying your bills. For not understanding the meaning of your life. But hanging in there anyway. You kept a glimmer of hope. It got real dim there for a while. But you stuck to it.
And now, and now, it starts to all make sense. You are floating on love. On relief, on exhaustion but relief. Love is everywhere. It's beautiful you are crying. Crying from completion. It all makes sense now.
So that's what it's all about. I see. I see. Such beauty. Such love. Such peace.
 
That utter self acceptance. That you have not one single morsel of doubt anymore. Of who you are and whether you are loved.
God zapped you. Really zapped you. He injected you with self love serum. You've been vaccinated. Vaccinated against ever doubting yourself again.
You are floating on love. And no one can steal it from you. You've arrived in Heaven.
 
Victor frankl.
He survived the Holocaust.
He must have had incredible faith.
Imagine the feeling of those people who survived and finally got rescued.
Anyone who survives trauma and finally gets real kindness, real care, real human love, they must feel so much emotion. Or are they still too traumatised to appreciate it?
 
Weirdos.
It's ok to be weird these days. As long as you have some loveable trait. Unfort. Sometimes we have to work on our loveability to others. It might mean being a little less assertive, and being more interested in others.
Narcissistic introverted weirdos are possibly the worst kind. Because it's all about them. They think they are eccentric. Not weird. Interesting not dull.
 
A guy shoots 5 or 6 Asian women in Georgia, USA.
Hate crime of Asians blaming them for covid?
If so, Trump takes some blame. He incited hatred which led to violence by calling it "the China virus".
 
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