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Looking for a Strategy to Continue Forward with Life

bryguy

bryguy

Member
Hello.

I wish I came on better terms but I am having a hard time and looking for advice on how to move forward with my life so I can A) be a good Christian, and B) stop suffering in my loneliness so much.

I am also looking for the right way to approach my troubles. I believe there is a verse that I should look at tribulation with joy.

So I have sinned an incredible amount. I literally believe that God gave me a mental illness (Bipolar) because I was such a sinner as an attempt to help guide me in a correct path. I don't really believe in the concept of a mental illness, but rather think that energy that was given to me in my youth was used for sin, and lead to depression. Mental health professionals say that me doing wrong sexually was because of Bipolar disorder, but I am sure it is not, but rather me having a poor moral compass and no god in my life.

One of the problems I am dealing with is that I realize I am very much what the bible considers a sluggard or very lazy in my actions. I don't perform well at my company ( I work from home in a basement as a computer programmer) and my loneliness from having not many friends or a partner (because of my poor life choices), leads me to underperform even more, looking to procrastinate on dating websites and facebook and such, or trying to spend time upstairs with my family.

I feel my life is completely ruined and I am left unsure how to move forward. How to keep my motivation and determination to work hard strong. How to keep myself focused on the task at hand.

And when people ask me how I am doing, I cannot do anything but be honest and say how terrible I am feeling. I almost feel that I should hide my suffering.

Every day goes by with myself wishing to end my life. It seems hopeless, how do I find excitement in completing my work?

I have realized that being lazy is a sin. I try to use that as a motivating factor. I try and realize what I am doinfg by procrasinating is as bad as many of the other sins I have gone through in my life. Its almost as if procrasinating comes second nature to me now and I dont even weigh how heavy of a sin it is. Maybe I need to hear how bad it is to be a procrasinator. I dont know.

I do pray alot too. I sleep much more than I should be sleeping. Sleep is one of my only forms of escaping. I sleep like a drunkard drinks his alcohol to hide from his problems. I cannot wake up and sleep 12 to 14 hours sometimes.

I dont wish to be like this, living in my basement with my family with no friends and no life. Every time I over sleep, I think of how badly I want to end my life, even sometimes trying to think of a plan in my weakness.

I dont know. Jesus had it much worse than I did. Job had it much worse. John had it much worse. Am I just weak? Should I "man up" and stop complaining and look at this with joy? Should I accept the mistakes I made in life and just be strong throughout this?

Part of me believes the medication is causing me to be sluggish, but then again, I was sluggish before the medication too.

I dont know. I dont even know if its right to be talking about these feelings. I feel weak sharing them honestly and feel I should handle this myself.

I went to bible study for the frist time in a long time a few days ago. I dont go to church because of no transporation and my sleeping issues, plus I dont know of a church that really fills my heart like some of the youtube pastors do.

How do I keep going? Do I just continue in my suffering with a strong face? Am I missing something completely? How do I go about making friends and why is it that I dont have any? Any words of wisdom would greatly be appreciated. Its wisdom I seek more than anything besides maybe a pure heart.
 
God is good, and if you know he Jesus he will see you through. This is a fact. Have you prayed for friends? have you asked God for guidance and listened? Dont do anything in your life without the Lord making clear your path because you were created for Gods purpose, whatever he has called you to do.
 
Welcome to CF.net!

Most of what you describe sounds like you are going through an episode of depression in combination with medication side effects (I used to sleep 14 hours a day easily when I was on anti depressants). Do you have a doctor you can talk to? Or a christian counsellor? You should seek help asap, you don't need to suffer like that. What ever you have sinned in your past, you probably asked God for forgiveness. So your sins are forgiven. God won't punish you. He promised that we can live life to the fullest and he wants to give you that awesome life He wants for His humans. But you keep punishing yourself through your thoughts and by sabotaging yourself. Stop that. Or at least try to stop that and find help.

The best strategy of how to move on is to get a good medical and psychological treatment for your disorder and then to start changing things in your life you dislike. God is with you, He is on your side, He takes no pleasure in your suffering. You don't have to buy or earn His love, He will wish you well and fight your battles with you. With that kind of support you can dare change things in your life.

How do I go about making friends and why is it that I dont have any?
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I've been asking that question like a trillion times the last weeks. It's hard to get an answer. Noone seems to really know how to make friends, people say stuff like "I don't know how to do that, it just happens."
Do you really have no friends? No contacts outside your family? Or are you like me and actually have people around you but can't feel friendship, love, trust and all that stuff so your contacts stay superficial?
 
it is possible to have both faith and painless life which is a matter of right choice, because it should be bewared in the life under sin, but may the true God provide better things for you - in the Name of Jesus. Amen.

Blessings
 
I don't think your life is ruined, at all! Who did Jesus want to spend time with? Sinners or saints? ALL of us really! If you have found salvation through Jesus then He is your savior. He is your best friend! Who better than the Son of the one that created us?

Every single person on this planet, goes through a rough time or trial. My opinion. In fact, life is said to be a series of ups and downs. I think of those that don't have Jesus in there lives, that would be the most difficult of times to deal with. But there is hope, and it is Jesus.

As far as a strategy, I think that the most important thing is a personal relationship with God.

Just me, and I won't go into too much detail, but I start every day with reading 1 chapter of the word. I usually try to complete one book and then move on, in no paticular order. The Gospels are really the most interesting to me, others are good but sometimes hard to read/comprehend for me. I am no pro on the bible, thats for sure.

Another thing that helps me, Listening to Christian music in my vehicle, and praising God! Worship time, is not just for Sunday morning in church. It can be anytime, with praise and thanksgiving whenever you feel lead to do so. I find myself more and more, talking to God and thanking Him, throughout the day, than ever before!

Another thing could be bible studies, I enjoy the one I go to. I did slip a little this past fall, had other things going and didn't make it. I have since rejoined again, and really enjoy the company and time we spend reading the word and applying it to life today.

Church itself and bible studies are great way to communicate with others and meet people.

There is NOTHING that God cannot help you overcome, nothing. Our lives are worth so much to Him!
 
I think what I need to do is just affirm my belief in God more soundly. I think this will help me trust in his word more fully, but at the same time, everything I read in the Christian bible for the most part seems as if its worth following.
 
Claudya,

I'm not on Anti Depressants, but rather a medicine that keeps me from having a manic phase. I want to get off it, but my entire family forces me to keep on it and I guess I have to risk moving out of my home if I stop the medication. That is almost not a choice.

I'll do whatever I can to keep positive. Focusing on the moment and what needs to be done is very important when it comes to this. If I was strong, Id should be able to have everything going around terribly around me and still be able to accomplish what I need to accomplish and do what I need to do. Its characteristic of a strong man.

Thank you very much for your words, and I'll do my best to head your advice. I have no other choice.
 
don, thanks for giving me your strategies. I just took up listening to klove.com and I like it very much. I also just started bible study and I find it enjoyable.

I think what I need to do is just solve my doubts when it comes to Jesus Christ. If I can affirm in a stronger way that Jesus is the way, I'll be able to walk stronger in my belief and keep my hope up in the worst. I think either way I should keep my hope up in the worst, but Jesus would make that walk easier if it is so true.

Ill be posting to try and find out more information to help me believe stronger in Christ. I am also reading Mere Christianity to get a sense from that book what makes a christian to help affirm my beliefs.

I wish someone would tell me to knock off the whining and be strong and walk strongly sometimes... I can't be so helpless in my cries, it is pure trouble and misery to walk in struggle with weakness.
 
I can relate to this , I would recommend first focusing on the foundation of your spiritual belief. ( I Corinthians 3:9 ye are god's building) In order to further your spiritual maturity , the number one thing you should always focus on is the foundation on which your beliefs are built on. If you start off building on sand the rains of life will just keep washing what you build away. But if you build it on a rock nothing can shake it! God's word stands firm like a rock (foundation); nothing can shake it. II Timothy 2:19 . That rock is Jesus Christ. Read Hebrews 6:1-3 and study the 6 doctrines of Christ which are listed. But most of all understand that a solid foundation is simple as understanding these steps: Luke 6:47 Whoever cometh to me... Heareth my sayings ....and DOETH them. Once you understand true repentance...which means an inner change resulting in outward change of actions, and build a rock solid foundation in Jesus. You will have nothing to fear , and your relationship with god will grow tremendously through Christ. You will not feel lonely for the lord will surround you with his love. My whole point and summary of all this is....you have to build that rock solid foundation in Jesus. Once you do his plan for you will really come to life and blessings beyond your imaginations will pour into your life. This is coming from a guy whom was lost of this world with the best of them...... A single lonely person who did everything as wrong as you could imagine. But God's love is soo great, He sent his only son to this world to pay for all of our sins! He loves everyone more than we could ever imagine. Replace that emptyiness in your heart and allow christ to come in and take over. He said he would walk by your side down in the deepest of valleys and be right by yourself to help you get back up to the tops of the highest mountains. Sometimes we fall down in life and we barely hold on to a branch in a tree to keep us from falling all the way down....but when we fall so weak and hard to the ground that we can not reach a branch to pull ourselves back up.... god's love for us is sooo great he will reach down to you! I am praying for you in Jesus name!
 
IMPORTANT: IF YOU ARE FEELING SUICIDAL, CALL 1-800-SUICIDE

My heart goes out to you. I am very close to a person with bipolar disorder, and I know it's very tough for her.

Mental illness is as real of an illness as diabetes. It is caused by an unbalance with chemicals in your brain. Like any illness, it requires some form of treatment (therapy and/or medication).

One of the symptoms of mania is sexual impulsivity. Judgment is impaired, thoughts are racing. People of clear mind have no excuse for ignoring the long-term consequences of their actions. As for people who can't keep a single thought in their head for more than a few milliseconds? I can think of a few excuses. If after the sex you looked back on it and thought, "That was a bad idea," then it's probably the bipolar. If shortly before and/or during the sex you were thinking that, then it probably wasn't.

Not trying to diagnose, but it seems like you're currently going through a depressive episode. Depression is not laziness. As I mentioned before, bipolar disorder is a real illness with real chemical causes. To say you chose it is equivalent to someone saying they chose to have cancer. It will make you sleepy, it will make you unmotivated, it will make you lonely, sad, hopeless. Basically it will make your life very difficult.

Working from home is a mixed bag. Some people work better with the flexibility, some people need more rigor, and some people need to get out their house and be as active as possible. (You're in the third group.) Unless you have a special reason for it, you might want to switch to going into the office more. Talk to your therapist (and boss) about your options.

With the stigma attached to mental illness, you probably want to avoid letting people know what's up outside of your support system. In other words, tell your support system everything, and everyone else should mind their own business.

Another thing to remember about the stigma against mental illness is that, well, it exists. Try not to internalize other people's intolerance.

If you don't have a support system in place, building one up is valuable to your health. It should include your therapist, psychiatrist, close friends, and understanding family members. You want it large enough so that the burden isn't placed on too few people, but small enough so that you know it's only people you can trust. (BTW, you are not the burden. You are a fellow burden-carrier with the rest of your support system. The disorder is the burden.)

If you don't feel like you can trust or openly talk to your therapist or psychiatrist, you should look for a new one. While it is difficult to find a good mental health provider, it is paramount that you do so. They are doctors. Doctors make you feel better when you're sick. Again, mental illness is an illness.

You should let your psychiatrist know that your medication is making you sluggish. (S)he may be able to switch you to one that has less side-effects. You would need a psychiatrist who specializes in mood disorders to get the best advice on what medication you should take. (Or even if you need to take medication at all.)

There's no point in comparing yourself to other people without mental illness. Even if they did have it worse, it doesn't mean you don't have it bad. Depression makes it easy for you to beat yourself up. Talk with your therapist about those thoughts.

You are not weak. You are going through an illness that saps your energy and messes up your brain chemistry. If you were lying in bed from pneumonia, would that make you weak and lazy? No? Neither does depression.

Depression is like a battle you have to fight. You haven't lost yet, and I believe you can best it.

Mostly unrelated aside: I code too! Programming is a lonely endeavor. Hard to make friends when you know 10 languages, but only one of them is human. Once you get a better handle on the depression, you can go back to some of the things you used to enjoy and meet people that way.
 
Oy. Evesforeva, I appreciate the kind words.. You know what I would give for a week of not wanting to kill myself? I'm not going to do it, I just wish life is over alot. I figure this.. I'm going to live for eternity. This is a battle and I must battle it. I wish I could convince myself that it is the depression causing me to be lazy but I dont think so. I just look at coding with such a dim perspective.. Coding is actually a beautiful thing.. I'm going to go get my friday work done tonight.

Thanks again.. Maybe Im too hard on myself. But I need to stand strong and get up and battle this more often and stop procrastinating with feel good things like facebook or random internet posts... If it sucks, I'm going to be righteous as it sucks and do the right thing.
 
bryguy said:
Hello.

I wish I came on better terms but I am having a hard time and looking for advice on how to move forward with my life so I can A) be a good Christian, and B) stop suffering in my loneliness so much.

I am also looking for the right way to approach my troubles. I believe there is a verse that I should look at tribulation with joy.

So I have sinned an incredible amount. I literally believe that God gave me a mental illness (Bipolar) because I was such a sinner as an attempt to help guide me in a correct path. I don't really believe in the concept of a mental illness, but rather think that energy that was given to me in my youth was used for sin, and lead to depression. Mental health professionals say that me doing wrong sexually was because of Bipolar disorder, but I am sure it is not, but rather me having a poor moral compass and no god in my life.

One of the problems I am dealing with is that I realize I am very much what the bible considers a sluggard or very lazy in my actions. I don't perform well at my company ( I work from home in a basement as a computer programmer) and my loneliness from having not many friends or a partner (because of my poor life choices), leads me to underperform even more, looking to procrastinate on dating websites and facebook and such, or trying to spend time upstairs with my family.

I feel my life is completely ruined and I am left unsure how to move forward. How to keep my motivation and determination to work hard strong. How to keep myself focused on the task at hand.

And when people ask me how I am doing, I cannot do anything but be honest and say how terrible I am feeling. I almost feel that I should hide my suffering.

Every day goes by with myself wishing to end my life. It seems hopeless, how do I find excitement in completing my work?

I have realized that being lazy is a sin. I try to use that as a motivating factor. I try and realize what I am doinfg by procrasinating is as bad as many of the other sins I have gone through in my life. Its almost as if procrasinating comes second nature to me now and I dont even weigh how heavy of a sin it is. Maybe I need to hear how bad it is to be a procrasinator. I dont know.

I do pray alot too. I sleep much more than I should be sleeping. Sleep is one of my only forms of escaping. I sleep like a drunkard drinks his alcohol to hide from his problems. I cannot wake up and sleep 12 to 14 hours sometimes.

I dont wish to be like this, living in my basement with my family with no friends and no life. Every time I over sleep, I think of how badly I want to end my life, even sometimes trying to think of a plan in my weakness.

I dont know. Jesus had it much worse than I did. Job had it much worse. John had it much worse. Am I just weak? Should I "man up" and stop complaining and look at this with joy? Should I accept the mistakes I made in life and just be strong throughout this?

Part of me believes the medication is causing me to be sluggish, but then again, I was sluggish before the medication too.

I dont know. I dont even know if its right to be talking about these feelings. I feel weak sharing them honestly and feel I should handle this myself.

I went to bible study for the frist time in a long time a few days ago. I dont go to church because of no transporation and my sleeping issues, plus I dont know of a church that really fills my heart like some of the youtube pastors do.

How do I keep going? Do I just continue in my suffering with a strong face? Am I missing something completely? How do I go about making friends and why is it that I dont have any? Any words of wisdom would greatly be appreciated. Its wisdom I seek more than anything besides maybe a pure heart.
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I'll tell you straight out how to get over depression, its caused by focussing on yourself, the main stragedy of your life should be stop all thoughts about yourself, you have to get busy! Busy doing anything! idleness is fertile ground for self absorbtion

when you reconize these facts, find away to start helping others, its a sure cure for getting your mind off yourself

but sadly most people in depression know all this and remain in it anyway
 
vocalyocal said:
I'll tell you straight out how to get over depression, its caused by focussing on yourself, the main stragedy of your life should be stop all thoughts about yourself, you have to get busy! Busy doing anything! idleness is fertile ground for self absorbtion

when you reconize these facts, find away to start helping others, its a sure cure for getting your mind off yourself

but sadly most people in depression know all this and remain in it anyway
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That may help, but it's honestly not that simple. Depression can be on a chemical level, caused by hormone imbalances and because of that may require professional help--in other words, a mental illness.
There is a difference between the mental illness and simply feeling depressed.

If the main cause was indeed self-pity, then your advice would be a cure. However, clinical depression is not caused by self-pity. It can bring on self-pity, but it's not the cause.
Clinical depression at it's worst is fighting every minute of every hour of every day just to keep from breaking down on the spot. It's more than simply feeling sorry for yourself. It's feeling like you're trash because you can't seem to shake the sadness no matter what you do, and the world tells you it's all your fault for wallowing in self-pity. Everything seems to be proof of how weak, how pathetic, how stupid you are, and you feel all the worse for feeling that way because everyone tells you it's self-pity and selfishness. It's a vicious cycle.

Your advice would be best for someone not suffering from a mental illness. That said, keeping busy and keeping your thoughts off yourself can be a good idea for someone who is suffering from it, too, cure or no. When in a clinically depressed state, introspection is more harmful than helpful. Unfortunately, it's also when you are most like to be introspective.
 
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questdriven said:
That may help, but it's honestly not that simple. Depression can be on a chemical level, caused by hormone imbalances and because of that may require professional help--in other words, a mental illness.
There is a difference between the mental illness and simply feeling depressed.

If the main cause was indeed self-pity, then your advice would be a cure. However, clinical depression is not caused by self-pity. It can bring on self-pity, but it's not the cause.
Clinical depression at it's worst is fighting every minute of every hour of every day just to keep from breaking down on the spot. It's more than simply feeling sorry for yourself. It's feeling like you're trash because you can't seem to shake the sadness no matter what you do, and the world tells you it's all your fault for wallowing in self-pity. Everything seems to be proof of how weak, how pathetic, how stupid you are, and you feel all the worse for feeling that way because everyone tells you it's self-pity and selfishness. It's a vicious cycle.

Your advice would be best for someone not suffering from a mental illness. That said, keeping busy and keeping your thoughts off yourself can be a good idea for someone who is suffering from it, too, cure or no. When in a clinically depressed state, introspection is more harmful than helpful. Unfortunately, it's also when you are most like to be introspective.
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I find it interesting that only in societies where there is ample food and employment, where people have two to three TV's per household and are filling there ears with Dr. Phil have this chemical unbalance and physiological definition that you mention

we see in society where children are forced to eat mud cookies to fill the emptiness of their stomach pain, or people are working all day for a few morsels of gruel, or where they are being hunted and murdered for the world view they hold inside their head, never have these chemical imbalances you describe, that require a lifelong dependency on some pills

Its just not happening anywhere eles, so in poor countries where people are starving to death and have so many more reasons to have a chemical imbalance, since they eat DIRT! you would think we would find these people dying in large numbers in their dirty foodless huts, unable to raise their dirty lice covered head from the dirty dirt floor they sleep on

but NO! they don't suffer from depression, because they're to preoccupied with trying to survive!
 
I've never watched Dr. Phil, and don't care to.

If you're one of those who think that clinical depression is a lie--well, I couldn't disagree with you more, but I don't know enough about the subject to go toe-to-toe with you. I have mostly my own experience, that of others that have been told, the small amount of reading up I have done, and conversations with a friend who has to do research on these things for the field she's in.
I do think medication can be overly used and pushed, but neither do I think it's the end-all, be-all. I don't trust the medical system religiously, but I don't think it's all a sham either. It would seem that extremes one way or the other are never the answer.


But do consider this--if disorders of the body exist, then it only logically follows that there are disorders of the mind as well. Science tells us that mind and body are connected. The condition of the mind can affect physical health, and to some extent the opposite is also true.

Again, your advice can most certainly be helpful. I'd even agree that it's a cure in a lot of, if not most, cases. However, for the truly mentally ill, it is not.
And there is not much more to say.
 
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I wish someone would tell me to knock off the whining and be strong and walk strongly sometimes... I can't be so helpless in my cries, it is pure trouble and misery to walk in struggle with weakness.[/QUOTE]

Take it from someone who knows all about depression, its a lie! its the continual whispers of evil spirits, that condemn and accuse the bretheren, they relentlessly keep tearing you down inside, stop listening to these critical spirits in your mind

believe the bible and who it says you are, who God see's you as! rebuke these voices in Jesus name, and stand on the truth
the truth is you are a child of the most high God, you have been given authority over every dark spirit, they only seem to be winning because you believe they can win, they're power is in deception, its always in the form of a lie, stop believing the lies, nomatter how real they feel, stop trusting in the way you feel, feelings are very deceptive. rebuke them and ignore them and just start pushing forward

It may sound crazy but I can tell you, that depression can be overcome just by taking control over what you allow your mind to think about, don't allow your mind to entertain these negative thoughts, the bible teaches us to "hold every thought captive to Christ" that means you need to run your thoughts through a Jesus filter, If He wouldn't think it, neither should you

bottom line control what you allow yourself to think about, begin casting off all negative thinking "say Jesus wouldn't think that way" I reject those thoughts in Jesus name!.........Its pretty relentless at first, as you begin to battle for your mind, but if you don't give up! and you make a mental note of fighting until you win.........you will find these thoughts, becoming less and less frequent, and as you throw off these thoughts you will see it start to happen almost without thinking as you do it more and more

beating depression is simply taking back the control over what you think, Jesus Christ died so that you could be set free from sin and from evil lieing spirits
 
vocalyocal said:
Take it from someone who knows all about depression, its a lie! its the continual whispers of evil spirits, that condemn and accuse the bretheren, they relentlessly keep tearing you down inside, stop listening to these critical spirits in your mind

believe the bible and who it says you are, who God see's you as! rebuke these voices in Jesus name, and stand on the truth
the truth is you are a child of the most high God, you have been given authority over every dark spirit, they only seem to be winning because you believe they can win, they're power is in deception, its always in the form of a lie, stop believing the lies, nomatter how real they feel, stop trusting in the way you feel, feelings are very deceptive. rebuke them and ignore them and just start pushing forward
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Agree 100% with all of the above. Feelings are not facts.
However, they are extremely difficult to get past when they are screaming at you every day, as in the case of severe clinical depression. I've been depressed like that. I know what it's like. I'm not anymore.

vocalyocal said:
It may sound crazy but I can tell you, that depression can be overcome just by taking control over what you allow your mind to think about, don't allow your mind to entertain these negative thoughts, the bible teaches us to "hold every thought captive to Christ" that means you need to run your thoughts through a Jesus filter, If He wouldn't think it, neither should you
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When I was depressed, I did all I could to change my thinking, control my feelings. I distracted myself. I read my Bible. I read about Jesus. I read the Psalms over and over. They were especially comforting.
I would try to focus on happy things. I would revel in the beauty of paintings, nature. Anything to get my mind off it. But you know what? It's like an invisible force had an iron grip on me. No matter what, I may have been temporarily relieved, but it always came back with a vengeance. I began to sleep as much as possible just because that was the only time I didn't have to keep my guard up every second to keep from being overwhelmed by sadness. I began to feel like I would be better off dead. I wanted so badly to ask God to just take me home, but knowing that wasn't the answer.
I constantly berated myself for feeling sorry for myself. I tried to take the focus off of me, again and again and again. But the feelings would remain anyway. The only conclusion I can come to is that self-pity was not the cause of my troubles, not in that case. But believe me, I considered that a real possibility at the time, and I tried so flipping hard to attack the problem from that angle. I tried everything I could think of.
If it had gone on much longer (it lasted months), I am convinced that I would have eventually committed suicide. It stopped because I had some friends pray for me, that I would have the strength to go to the root of the problem.
The problem? I believe I had formed a mental addiction to something, and it wasn't even something dangerous. I spoke to a friend of mine in the medical field about this, and she told me that it is possible. I had to force myself to leave the thing I was obsessed with alone. Completely. I had tried again and again to do this, and with prayers from friends I finally succeeded. Still, for months afterwards I was terrified of that monster called depression coming back. I was afraid of making the same mistake again. I had never known pain that deep, and I never want to again.


Not to hijack the thread with a sob story, I just wanted to point out that I do know something about it.

My stepdad was a strong Christian. He had to take medications because he had emotional issues (not depression) he couldn't control. I got past my issues without medication or professional help. My dad couldn't. Sometimes it's just necessary. Sometimes it is something beyond the person's control.

vocalyocal said:
bottom line control what you allow yourself to think about, begin casting off all negative thinking "say Jesus wouldn't think that way" I reject those thoughts in Jesus name!.........Its pretty relentless at first, as you begin to battle for your mind, but if you don't give up! and you make a mental note of fighting until you win.........you will find these thoughts, becoming less and less frequent, and as you throw off these thoughts you will see it start to happen almost without thinking as you do it more and more

beating depression is simply taking back the control over what you think, Jesus Christ died so that you could be set free from sin and from evil lieing spirits
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In short, we don't disagree as much as it appears. I agree with much of what you are saying, but I do think that it is harmful to say that any and all depression is the person's own fault for feeling sorry for themselves. I'd argue that this is neither always true, nor always false.
 
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Bry, I think the first need for you is a mentor, a sensei you can cleave too who can get you out of your place and guide you . I remember when I first came to Japan that I lacked a spark to go beyond the fence of my military base and venture forth. That is until I met a 2nd class petty officer who introduced me to my church and then to the experiances I could never have gotten had I strayed with the boozers who complained about Japan being too expensive but were content to spend their paychecks making anheiser bush rich. I owe a great deal to that man.
 
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