I really don't know of any books that have solid historical data on how young people were when married in biblical times. I know that we get a lot of information from rabbinical tradition...and rabbinical tradition can be pretty doggone accurate.
This post will be long, but I want to present to this discussion a sort of micro-sub-societal example of what it is to follow godly principles in regards to early marriage and abstinence before marriage. The micro-sub-society is my own family. This is my mom and dad, two sisters and their husbands, my brother and his wife, and my 12 nieces and nephews and their spouses and Steve and I. With the exception of my brother's daughter and her husband and Steve, everyone was a virgin when married. With the exception of my sister's daughter and one of her son's, all the marriage are well into their second decades. No divorces, no prior marriages, no prior relationships that included sex. (And none of the marriages were “arranged” lol!)
All of us are Christians and we all live our lives according to God’s principles as laid out within the Scriptures.
In my family, marriage before 20 is the norm. One niece was 27 when she married. She had been engaged to be married when she was 20, but called the wedding off a week before. One nephew was 28 when he was married. Everyone else was late teens/early 20's.
I don't buy into this idea that we have to wait until well into the 20's prior to marriage. All the reasons given for this: Needing to finish school, needing to build up a career, needing to buy a house and become financially sound... are all things that can be done, and oftentimes done easier when a couple is married and can support each other. Remember what the biblical role of a wife is... to be a help meet. A good wife can help a guy do all the above and more... This is certainly the norm in my family. My sisters, and each of my nieces and nephews who were married young, all bought their own homes prior to age 25. Those of us who didn't own our homes prior to 25, were my brother (which had nothing to do with his young marriage and everything to do with the fact that before he met my sister-in-law, he was a druggie drop-out and didn't even have a decent high school education) the niece and nephew who weren't married and me. Yep... being single actually made it harder for us to become financially stable.
My eldest sister and brother-in-law each finished college although they were married when she was 18 and he was 24. She is a teacher and he is a Christian school principal. He is also a licensed pastor. My other sister and brother-in-law built up a highly successful flooring installation business. Their clientele includes a former governor of Idaho and several people whose names you would know... Idaho having a Hollywood connection.
Out of my nieces and nephews, three have college degrees, two graduated from POST (Peace Officer Standards and Training) and are now deputized. One is a licensed Relator. One is a teacher. College isn't for everyone, and not all of my nieces and nephews graduated from college, but even the ones who didn't graduate from college are successful in that they own their homes, live relatively debt free (mortgages and some finance their vehicles), have solid, godly marriages and happy home lives.
In each era, Christians have had to face various challenges to their walk. In some places, just being a Christian is a challenge, in that one can be killed for it. But in every place, in every era, Christians have faced the conflict between what the world says is OK, even good and God's commandments.
For us in 21st century Western society... that conflict is generally about sex and debt. Somehow, it's being presented as good that a person must go to college and graduate college deeply in debt (often well into the tens of thousands of dollars) with student loans, credit card debt, financed vehicles, etc... but to not marry. However, having sex is OK. It's even considered weird if you don't.
The niece and nephew I mentioned earlier, who were older when married, are brother and sister. My nephew married a woman who was 26. One day, the three of us; niece, niece in law and me, were discussing the issue of sex and being celibate for so long. We agreed, it's no picnic...but it's nonetheless doable. My brother's daughter was pregnant (she was 17, he was 18)... but as soon as they found out she was pregnant, they confessed in their church, got married in a simple, but sweet ceremony and have been happily married now for 11 years. But, everyone else remained abstinent prior to marriage…even those of us who married later. My husband wasn’t a virgin when we met…him not being a Christian during his college years… but he was living an abstinent life when we met, just as I was.
Hard, yes. But, sometimes walking the walk is hard. While sex is a natural function, the Scriptures are clear that we are to put the natural man to death and live a new life in Christ as His creation, doing the works that He has commanded and following His precepts.
[FONT="]I truly believe that this idea that we should pressure our kids into waiting until their mid to late 20’s to marry is a lie straight from the pits of hell. It just causes a lot of heartache and places a heavy yoke upon our kids. It’s also a lie that it’s impossible to wait to have sex. It’s not fun, but it’s not impossible and it’s what God commands.[/FONT]
