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Mean to be mean!

stovebolts

Member
Some people are just mean for no other reason that to be mean... :grumpy

Ok, like I love to run on my lunch break and today I had a totally awesome run. I even got a tad over 7 miles in and was just in 7th heaven. Well, because I was on "extended" lunch, I decided to just clean up in the mens bathroom. It's not like it's the first time I've done that. Actually, I've been doing that for the past 10 months and have never had a problem.

Well, we have a new janitor.. oh, did I mention he's union?... Well, about two weeks ago I was cleaning up in the mens bathroom and he came in and was a bit disgruntled. I told him that I wouldn't be long and tried to make small talk with him. The previous janitor and I got along great, and he always worked around me, and we actually became friends. But it was obvious that this guy was just one of those angry people... so I hurried about my business and left with a smile.

Well today I'm cleaning up and he opens the door and when he sees me he starts screaming, "What the H$#@ are you doing! Your holding me up and I'm not going to tolerate this". and he stormed out very, very angry.

Thing is, there was another guy on the "throne" and I about beat him out of the restroom, so it's not like "I" was holding him up or anything.

Walking across the building I saw him and he gave me a real dirty look and actually turned around several times. So, I caught up to him and said very politely, "Sir, what time do you make you're rounds and I'll be sure I don't get in your way" and he responded angerly, "It doesn't matter what time I clean the rest room, your not going to hold me up again and I've made sure of that." and he told me he went to the facilities manager..

So off to the facilities manager I go to explain the situation...

This is sooo silly and honestly, it's stupid... but I'm dealing with the union and their garbage... Mean people just make me want to be mean back, but I know that's not how I should act and thank goodness I can catch myself when I start spitting back at people and tame myself (I was very nice and didn't spit back one bit). Honestly, this whole "situation" is just absurdly stupid... and I just want to pull my hair out and scream at the stupidity of it all.

How do you handle mean people? :grumpy
 
How do you handle mean people? :grumpy

I shoot them with a gun or beat them with a stick.





Just kidding!:p

I feel for you. If he is the janitor, why is he upset that you are helping him do his job??? I think I would follow PouringRain's advice and stay away from him too!
 
This has a name It is called workplace harassment, you don't need to put up with it. your just doing your job. Tell your supervisor or his. Noone needs to put up with workplace harassment.

There is 2 trains of thought with things of this nature, the guy may well be a jerk but also he may be an ok guy who is having personal problems like a divorce. He may also feel threatened by your presence doing a similar job in a tough economy where people are loosing their jobs, cranky alcoholic even.

i used to be like someone's worst nightmare if they did that to me, I was defending my pride. As i got older I started to see something different, that is that most people want happiness and respond to kindness. however sometimes there is things amiss inside some people that make then like it, an inner hurt or insecurity. The challenge can be either ignore them or if they are worth your time you may just end up being the person that they tell thier problems to.
 
I think I'm reading this a bit differently than some others...I'm not seeing that you are cleaning up the bathroom, but cleaning up yourself in the bathroom.:bath

What does he want you to do, use the office water fountain to wash up in...it's the bathroom, it's what it is used for.

Since you've let the facilities manager know of the situation, just be polite and continue using the "bath"room! @Chris may very well have put his finger on the problem...the guy might be really having a tough time and striking out at others because of it.
 
I'm sorry you're going through this! I have been there with a supervisor who had it out for me from the get go. Excessively cruel. One time she really laid into me after I followed her order to do something (she forget that she told me to do it! go figure) and the verbal lashing I got was something fierce. I was pretty confused about the situation. I was also very hurt for being treated so cruelly. I took my pain to the Lord and asked Him what happened. He told me that she "berated me." I didn't even know what that word meant! I had to go and look it up in the dictionary. The moral of the story here is: God is on your side Steve. (go with it Stove ;)) He is displeased when He sees someone treat you so meanly. He is upset about it with you. He cares. He cares about you and that janitor.

What the Lord has taught me to do is to "bear the cross" in times like these. I put up with an abusive supervisor for about a year. It sucked. I was constantly crying to the Lord about it. However, at work I relied on the Holy Spirit to help me imitate the love of Christ. Guess what happened? The Lord began to give me insight into why she was so mean. One time her husband came in and treated her so cruelly in front of me. I kept hoping I could disappear so I didn't have to remain in that situation. That insight gave me the ability to forgive her easier when she treated me the same way. I understood why she was the way she was (but I did not justify her behavior either it was wrong) I began to pray for her and bless her in Jesus' name and continued to walk in the love of Christ. Guess what happened next? She asked me "what was different about me?" And I had an opportunity to share the gospel. She grew up in the Church but stopped going. Then she started going to her local church, and I think was even baptized. Did she still treat me cruelly. Unfortunately. The Lord released me from that job because the stress of that negative environment began to outweigh the the character shaping the Lord was doing in me. (Thank you God, for freeing me.) Now, I'm dealing with more mean people. People who despise the name of Jesus. Who mock and ridicule Him. BUT! This time my skin is a bit thicker and I am a bit wiser and better prepared.

Your kindness towards that janitor may lead him to Christ! You may have a testimony like mine soon. Don't forget that "God's kindness leads one to repentance." You may be the only kind person that man is in contact with. He'll see how cruelly he treated you and how polite and kind you treated him. He'll remember it!

I hope this has helped Steve ;), I pray that the Lord helps you in this difficult situation.

mean-people-suck.jpg
 
I think I'm reading this a bit differently than some others...I'm not seeing that you are cleaning up the bathroom, but cleaning up yourself in the bathroom.:bath

That was how I read it also. :lol I was kinda surprised to come back to this thread just now and see that everyone read it differently. :chin
 
I think I'm reading this a bit differently than some others...I'm not seeing that you are cleaning up the bathroom, but cleaning up yourself in the bathroom.:bath

LOL! I thought he was cleaning the bathroom too, and was wondering why he felt compelled to do this! Now it makes sense!!!:D
 
i choke the heck out of mean people thats what a grappler does chokes the heck out of yah.
 
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Thanks everyone :)

I'll just keep my head up and keep smiling as I avoid this man and pray that we don't encounter each other in the mens restroom again :lol and yeah, I wasn't cleaning the bathroom, I was trying to have decent hygene coming back into work... running 7 miles can do things to a guy ya know lol!

My only worry is that he can escalate this via the union, which he's taken the first step, and can turn this into a mountain.

Hopefully they will transfer him to another building.... This is what I don't like about the union. It's no longer an issue of common courtesy, let alone common sense. It's about rules, regulations, process and working the system. Simply put, it can, and is currently being used as a weapon to get out of doing his job (I'm not entirely sure, but I don't think he cleaned the restroom yesterday. Again, I'm not 100% on this.) and whatever anger he holds toward people who dress in business causual it's like he can just get away with it... Well, that's how it appears, but I know better.
 
I had to face off with a union guy once. It was a company who was sub-contracted to do electrical work in a building that was still under construction when my company moved into it. So, we aren't even talking about shared management here.

Anyway, because the building was not finished there were no interior walls, just cubicles. My cubby was the last one, then yellow tape and construction.

The union whistle blew and all the electricians put down their tools and went on break. A couple of them leaned up against the back of my cubby and lit up cigarettes. I politely asked them to put them out.

One of them, got up and stood right in my face and told me to "go to hell". He stood at least 6'5". :lol You've seen me Jeff, can you imagine little ole 4'11" me face to face with a huge muscular guy with tattoos and earrings?

The only thing is, although I'm a fairly easy going person, I don't respond to bullying all that well. I stood my ground and he backed down and did indeed put the cigarette out. Nor did any of them light up in the building again after that.

What are they going to tell all of you men to do, not ever use the bathroom because "it doesn't matter what time" he cleans it, no one is supposed to use it on the off-chance that he'll choose that time to clean?
 
Ha! would have loved to have seen you go toe to toe with him :lol

Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way where I'm at. :shrug If I went toe to toe with him, I would get repremended and possibly removed from the site. For me, that's the frustrating part (He is empowered to act that way.). The reason why is that I'm odd man out (non-union) and the union has very rigid guidelines on their roles and responsibilities, even if it is just cleaning toilets. Also, I'm considered perhaps a vendor and not a direct employee. In short, I help to provide a service.. strike 2.

That aside, I saw him this morning but he was busy and didn't spot me. I'm not sure if I should smile and wave at him if we cross paths in the hallway or if I should just keep walking. My intuition tells me to be genuine, and smile and wave hi. Except I don't know what the facilities manager told him, since the manager did say that his words to me were inappropriate.

So, if he got a spanking for being rude, how would he take my smile and wave? Would he take it as me being spiteful, like a little kid whispering with a smile, "Ha ha, got you in trouble"

Lord help me... :pray
 
If you cross paths, it would be best to not interact, unless he makes the first move, then simply be polite. If he was reprimanded, I would imagine that he would take a smile and wave as spiteful.

Childish, yes, but this is the level he is operating on. :dunno
 
Good advice Dora :thumbsup Think I'll do just that.

You know what was funny? I was reading everyone elses posts again (thank you everyone!) and I really got a laugh at the people who thought I was cleaning the bathroom lol! I think my wife would have a heart attack if I did that at home :lol

But hey, nobody mistook my name as steve :toofunny:toofunny:toofunny
 
Ok. So I guess I missed out on this yesterday. And I know no one likes a guy who always 'quotes' the Bible. But hey, when the shoe fits.....

And I know that you already know this, but sometimes we ALL need to be reminded....huh?

1Pe 2:21 For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.

1Pe 2:22 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth.

1Pe 2:23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.

1Pe 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

1Pe 2:25 For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.


Seems to me that God put you in that situation. Interesting thought huh? Yep, seems to me that you were put there for a purpose. Who knows what it will end up as, but I think you did exactly what you should have. Now let God work in your heart. Who knows, maybe God has His hand on this guy and is using you for an example to him.

We see Christs example and through His meekness we see the love of God. Maybe through your meekness, following Christ example, this guy will see the love of God? I hate to say it, but it might not be over. There might be a longer road ahead of you with this situation. Hopefully not though.
 
How do you handle mean people? :grumpy

Proverbs

26:21 As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious
man to kindle strife.

26:22 The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into
the innermost parts of the belly.

26:23 Burning lips and a wicked heart are like a potsherd covered with
silver dross.

26:24 He that hateth dissembleth with his lips, and layeth up deceit
within him;

26:25 When he speaketh fair, believe him not: for there are seven
abominations in his heart.

26:26 Whose hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness shall be shewed
before the whole congregation.

26:27 Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein: and he that rolleth a stone, it
will return upon him.
 
Oh yeah Nathan, I agree 100%

Here's the part that I personally struggle with. Growing up I was the kid getting picked on etc, and it really created a little scrappy doo in me. Trust me, I know what God wants me to do, but doing it... putting flesh to it is a whole nother story.

I mean, it's nice to think that when one slaps you in the face disrespectfully.. and you know us guys understand respect, but it's sometimes hard to 'turn the other cheek' in a way that shows the other guy that I'm no different than him... I'm human too.

God has blessed me in that 15-20 years ago I would have been down this guys throat and in his face standing firm if you know what I mean. But God has granted me grace, and that's not my first response anymore. However, it is in my after thoughts.. and I don't have a problem with that either because I know it's God showing me a real side of myself, and I've got a grip on those feeling.. they don't have a grip on me anymore if that makes sense.

It's the actual putting flesh on the command... I'm not getting whipped, mocked or beaten, but God gave himself as an example, so how does what Christ did as an example live itself out through me in the flesh? You see, it has to be practical, and it has to pertain as something which can be done, and not just an ideological point of view.. and my ideology tells me that this guy needs Christ in his life, so what does it look like for me to be a testimony of God's grace for this man?

I don't know how this will play out, but I have faith that God's working in this situation. Both to temper my thoughts when I recount the experience of somebody cursing at me in ignorance and somehow, God's using me for his purpose for this guy... and maybe I'll never know exactly where my part is.

Oh well.. Hey, ever seen finding Nemo? "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.." :lol
 
How do you handle mean people? :grumpy

I believe we are put in situations to show God's glory, you consistently being nice may lead him to see being angry everyday is not the only way to be ...
 
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Jeff, I really feel for you. Not the same situation, but I've worked with people who seem bent on climbing the ladder and would slander myself and others in order to serve their professional goals. I've never understood this mentality. We're all working collectively. Can't we just work earnestly and allow the rewards of our labor be rewards in and of themselves? This is scripture I have underlined, scribbled and marked all over my Bible to draw my attention when in such a position.

Psalm 35
"
<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14422">11</sup> Ruthless witnesses come forward;
they question me on things I know nothing about.
<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14423">12</sup> They repay me evil for good
and leave me like one bereaved.
<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14424">13</sup> Yet when they were ill, I put on sackcloth
and humbled myself with fasting.
When my prayers returned to me unanswered,
<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14425">14</sup> I went about mourning
as though for my friend or brother.
I bowed my head in grief
as though weeping for my mother.
<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14426">15</sup> But when I stumbled, they gathered in glee;
assailants gathered against me without my knowledge.
They slandered me without ceasing.
<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14427">16</sup> Like the ungodly they maliciously mocked;
they gnashed their teeth at me.

<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14428">17</sup> How long, Lord, will you look on?
Rescue me from their ravages,
my precious life from these lions.

<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14429">18</sup> I will give you thanks in the great assembly;
among the throngs I will praise you.
<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14430">19</sup> Do not let those gloat over me
who are my enemies without cause;
do not let those who hate me without reason
maliciously wink the eye.
<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14431">20</sup> They do not speak peaceably,
but devise false accusations
against those who live quietly in the land.

<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14432">21</sup> They sneer at me and say, “Aha! Aha!
With our own eyes we have seen it.â€

<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14433">22</sup> LORD, you have seen this; do not be silent.
Do not be far from me, Lord.
<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14434">23</sup> Awake, and rise to my defense!
Contend for me, my God and Lord.
<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14435">24</sup> Vindicate me in your righteousness, LORD my God;
do not let them gloat over me.
<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14436">25</sup> Do not let them think, “Aha, just what we wanted!â€
or say, “We have swallowed him up.â€

<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14437">26</sup> May all who gloat over my distress
be put to shame and confusion;
may all who exalt themselves over me
be clothed with shame and disgrace.
<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14438">27</sup> May those who delight in my vindication
shout for joy and gladness;
may they always say, “The LORD be exalted,
who delights in the well-being of his servant.â€

<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-14439">28</sup> My tongue will proclaim your righteousness,
your praises all day long.
"


In verse 26, he asks the Lord to put them to shame and confusion. I've prayed this only in that they would be shameful for what they have done. I prayed that I would never resort to this type of behavior. I just had to resolve that in the end, management would empathize with someone who behaved in a honorable way and didn't respond with such tactics. Of course, the union throws a different wrench into it. Go figure. :bigfrown

I've prayed that this too shall pass and it's something you will laugh about. I have prayed that he will be convicted to feel shame for his behavior and come to repentance. And I've prayed that your tongue will continue to proclaim His righteousness and you will be strengthened to be true to your faith. :pray
 
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