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My boyfriend told me he was atheist

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purplecloud

Member
I am a college aged woman. my boyfriend of two and a half years just told me he was atheist. this completely broke my heart. I am really not sure what to do or say and talking about religion just pushes him away. it kills me because we have been talking about marriage. this completely shocked me because we have always been in church together and pray together. please help
 
Dump him. If he's an atheist he's unfit to be a father to your children. If he's an unfit father then any relationship is doomed to end in failure. Why stick in a relationship without any chance of a successful end?
 
purplecloud said:
this completely shocked me because we have always been in church together and pray together. please help
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I don't understand.

How did someone who's been in church and prayed together suddenly turn atheist ? :confused

Was he putting on an act, or did he just fell out of faith ? :shame
 
The bottom line is this: Christians are told not to be unequally yoked with unbelieverrs. This would mean marriage. No marriage is perfect, but one centred around God is best. This can only be achieved when both partners are Christians, and I'll add, equally yoked Christians, too. So my point is, that it would be extremely unwise for you to continue in this relationship, and potentially spiritually suicidal for you to get married to him.

It is always sad when a believer falls away. I will pray for him.
 
I hate to say it... But you should probably leave him. I think he started dating you to make you an atheist too, and I think you're better off without that sort of person around.
 
I became christian with help from a ex, i was primarily hateful of idea of god, long story, but she helped me, so mayb guidance before a break up ?
WWJD right?? well would jesus not try to help it or would he give up? Rhetorical!
 
BenxD said:
I became christian with help from a ex, i was primarily hateful of idea of god, long story, but she helped me, so mayb guidance before a break up ?
WWJD right?? well would jesus not try to help it or would he give up? Rhetorical!
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Guidence and wittness - yes.

Relationship or marriage - no.
 
You can't change his beliefs, you can share your own but they may fall on deaf ears. I know first hand, if you are not equally yolked, the marriage won't last. My advice would to be wait things out... end your relationship with him and if he finds the right path to the Lord, then maybe try a relationship again and make the Lord the center. I've been through someting similar and I speak from experience, you have my prayers
 
Seriously, relationship should be about love and mutural respect. If he loves you and you love him, for such a long time, that shouldn't be smth to just "dump" and "throw away", it should be always smth that you treat with respect.

In the country where I come from ( Germany) it is very common that women are more religious then men. Some of the men, despite the fact that they are not religious, still attend to church, most often because they respect traditions and later want their children to grow up in a "normal" enviroment.

Their non believe is not a big deal here, our communities are very tolerant, as long as they have mutural respect and no one tries to missionary the other it works out fine. Children are raised catholic, but even in religious class they are confronted with all different religions and also atheism anyway. Later they can choose what they want to believe in, if they choose to become atheists it's mostly because of own thoughts or friends, not because of the father.

Of course, your community plays an important role in all that. If your close friends and parents would accept him as he is, it will most propaply work out well, as long as you keep love and mutural respect. However, if they think he is destined to go to hell and all atheists with him, they will never understand how you could endager your children to something like that, and never accept him or your decision for him.

Here most christians believe you go to heaven when u have lived a good life, so they will judge your husband rather by that means, and not if he is christian, jewish or atheist.

No matter how you decide, I wish you good luck on your way.
 
Why would an atheist pray?

That aside, being an atheist doesn't make you a bad person

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk 2
 
Peter said:
Here most christians believe you go to heaven when u have lived a good life, so they will judge your husband rather by that means
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Maybe part of the reason for your lack of faith is your misunderstanding what we believe, even in Germany. Salvation is not contingent on living a good life.

Marriage can be difficult regardless. Not seeing eye to eye on faith matters will result in even more significant conflict, spiritual and daily life.

You really reached back for this thread. ;)
 
Grazer said:
Why would an atheist pray?

That aside, being an atheist doesn't make you a bad person

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk 2
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Even though he may not be a bad person, he is still an unrepentant sinner, thus making it unwise to be emotionally involved with. It is certainly fine to stay friends with an atheist, as long as you are not being led astray yourself. Witness to them, and pray for them, but do not continue any emotional involvement.
 
The Unbeliever said:
If you are committed to Christianity, then you shouldn't marry him.
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I agree. Mixed marriages are very difficult if one or both are committed to differing outcomes / goals.

I have muslim friends who have converted to christianity because of love for their partner. Also I have christian friends who have converted to Islam for the same reason.

Sometimes love conquers all. Meaning that their commitment to their partner was stronger than their commitment to their childhood traditions.


btw... Hi. This is my first post.
I tried to link to the New Member Forum but I got a 404 error.

Cheers
Alfie.
 
purplecloud said:
I am a college aged woman. my boyfriend of two and a half years just told me he was atheist. this completely broke my heart. I am really not sure what to do or say and talking about religion just pushes him away. it kills me because we have been talking about marriage. this completely shocked me because we have always been in church together and pray together. please help
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Don't look at the negative. Sometimes in life what looks good to you might not be good for you. God loved you so much that he revealed this to you. Jesus will mend your broken heart. Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). Most people don't come to Jesus. They live and do things through self-effort. God is smiling at you because he knows if you just trust him he has so much joy and prosperity than your heart could have ever imagine.

II Corinthians 6:14
Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion has light with darkness?
 
Why should faith interfere with love. I can almost definitely vouch that the guy wouldn't attempt to sway you from your religion as I hope you wouldn't do to him so what's the problem with this?
 
purplecloud said:
I am a college aged woman. my boyfriend of two and a half years just told me he was atheist. this completely broke my heart. I am really not sure what to do or say and talking about religion just pushes him away. it kills me because we have been talking about marriage. this completely shocked me because we have always been in church together and pray together. please help
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Hi, PurpleCloud -

As some have offered here, I add my voice to say that the relationship was not meant to be. At some point in the relationship, he decided he does not believe as you do in our Lord. Any further thought of marriage should end. The way he now believes will be a major source of conflict at various times in the marriage, should you decide to stay with him. His lack of faith will have influence on children, and on how the various Christ-centered holidays are respected and celebrated.

I fully understand how you are feeling; I've worn the same shoes you're wearing now. And I know how difficult it is when the trust & love & respect you hold for him is now viewed in a different light. This is a time when you need to stay focused on your walk with our Lord, to spend the spare time you have in our Lord's Word. God's love is a genuine healer; pray & turn this entire situation over to our Lord; He is faithful and He will answer you!

Blessings!
 
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