Overcoming lust and building mature relationships in teenage years.

[Itachi]

I'm 17 and I still have cravings when it comes to women, every time I see a pretty girl it arouses such a lust in me or I don't know what to call it. I just want to find the kind of half who is a child of God and loves him and acts according to his will and is loyal. I just want love.I don't know how I can overcome lust and what I mentioned. Could you give me some advice about this and relationships at my age and how I should approach and act? Thank you , have a nice day

 

[for_his_glory]

First thing I will say is that you need to be Spiritually born again and indwelled with the Holy Spirit, John 3:5-7, developing your personal relationship with Christ who will help you with this lust problem and when the time is right when you get older Jesus will place the right woman in your life. If you read the book of John and Acts this will teach you about Jesus and the relationship you need with Him and Acts will teach you about the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

You are very young and no doubt not sure of what true love is all about yet. Don't let your hormones lead you where you need not to be. If you are looking please make sure you are evenly yoked to who you find for as a child of God what does light have to do with darkness. 2Corinthians 6:14-18

 

[WalterandDebbie]

I'm 17 and I still have cravings when it comes to women, every time I see a pretty girl it arouses such a lust in me or I don't know what to call it. I just want to find the kind of half who is a child of God and loves him and acts according to his will and is loyal. I just want love.I don't know how I can overcome lust and what I mentioned. Could you give me some advice about this and relationships at my age and how I should approach and act? Thank you , have a nice day

Greetings Itachi, We will be praying for you, okay? I understand what you are saying, but you must not let these things take control, you have that kind of power with the Holy Spirit, without it is impossible, we must not yield to temptation, if you do you will suffer.

1 John 2:15-17 KJV

Love, Walter And Debbie

 

[Tenchi]

I'm 17 and I still have cravings when it comes to women, every time I see a pretty girl it arouses such a lust in me or I don't know what to call it.

Sounds like you're a normal, healthy, adolescent male. Remember, God made you to be sexually-aroused by an attractive woman. It's okay to have such a response. It isn't okay, though, for that response not to be under the control of the Holy Spirit. God made you to be a creature over whom He has constant control. When you're living always under the Spirit's control, he shapes, directs and orders your sexual impulse, keeping it within proper bounds, guiding it into God-honoring ends. But if you aren't yielding yourself to the Holy Spirit's authority and control throughout each day, you must necessarily be in rebellion to God and in this condition the lusts of your flesh will grow out of all proportion so that they begin to destroy your life. Just look at what happens to the addict to food, or drugs, or porn, or gambling, or gaming. These are all people who are not (and likely have never been) under the Spirit's control.

I just want to find the kind of half who is a child of God and loves him and acts according to his will and is loyal. I just want love.I don't know how I can overcome lust and what I mentioned.

Well, you can't overcome your natural and strong sexual impulse in the way, and to the ends, God intends that you should.

Romans 7:15-24
15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.
17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.
19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.
20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.
22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being,
23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.
24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?

Romans 8:5-8
5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.
6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.
7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot.
8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

Galatians 5:17
17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.

God didn't make you to be controlled by yourself but by Himself. He has more than enough power to control even your strong sexual interest. But, He only exerts His power upon you under certain circumstances. He's not going to ever make a puppet out of you, making you do what He wants you to do against your choice. No, He'll only go to work on you, changing you, as you agree to His doing so. God's a gentleman and will not force you to His will and way. He will wait for you to agree to His changing you, which you do by submitting to His will and way, to Him, throughout every day. Only when you have agreed to His acting to alter you, will He do so. The moment you start moving in your own way, against the will of God, He stops working in you 'til you consciously, explicitly return to submission to Him.

Romans 6:12-14
12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.
13 Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.
14 For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.

Romans 6:19
19 ....For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification.

Romans 8:14
14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.

Romans 12:1
1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

James 4:6-7
6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God...

James 4:10
10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

You and I are in a relationship with God. Not a super-powered human. Not a near-equal. God is the Almighty Maker of Heaven and Earth, the Creator and Sustainer of All Things, or Master, Lord and King. Or He should be. Certainly, He won't deal with us as anything other than who and what He is, which means He will only be God in our lives, nothing less. If we won't have Him as our God, our Ruler and Master, we can't know and walk with Him and be strengthened and changed by Him.

Continued below.

 

[Tenchi]

But God being God in our lives means He calls the shots about, well, everything. His will governs our time, our energy and our money. How do we know His will? It's all laid out for us in His word, the Bible (2 Timothy 3:16-17). In it, He tells us what things ought to occupy our time, and into what we ought to invest our energy, and how we should spend our material resources. He also instructs us in His word about our thought-life, about right and wrong attitudes and feelings, about how to walk well with Him. (2 Corinthians 6:14-18; Ephesians 5:1-13; Philippians 3:7-14; Philippians 4:8; Psalms 1; Psalms 119; James 4:4, etc.)

What happens, though, to folks who get into God's word and see that God wants them to inwardly separate themselves more and more from the World, the flesh and the devil is that their desires for these things is stronger than they can control, pressing them away from God into what God has said to forsake. They want money, and fame, and sex, and stimulation; they love more clothes, and bigger houses, and faster cars; they hunger for fun, for entertainment and exciting distraction, for thrilling sensations; they crave food, and drink and to be merry. And they know they want these things more than they want God and His way.

How does a person like this, knowing they can't control these strong desires for things other than God and that are actually against Him, change what they want? Well, as I said at the start of this post, they can't. Only God can change their wrong desires, their sinful, self-destructive "wanter." And so, when a person submits to God, He goes to work on their wants, their desires, first of all, cooling overly inflamed but natural desires, dissolving evil desires and instilling new godly desires in them. God doesn't do this in a single instant, mind you, but progressively, bit by bit, as the person learns to live habitually in a place of conscious submission to Himself.

What actually happens as the Christian person forms a reflex of submission to God is that they become more and more like Jesus Christ (Romans 8:29; 2 Corinthians 4:7-11; Galatians 5:22-23; 2 Corinthians 3:18), reflecting him rather than themselves to all around them. This happens so naturally, so subtly and powerfully, that the submitted Christian typically doesn't see that they are doing so. Like a branch growing out from a tree trunk, there is no single instant of growth an observer of the branch could perceive, but it is growing, nonetheless. If the observer returns to the branch in, say, three months, they can see it is larger, perhaps leafy and even producing fruit. It's in this subtle, imperceptible way that God makes submitted Christians healthy, "fruitful" branches in the Vine who is Jesus Christ (John 15:4-5).

I hope you understand in all this that God takes responsibility for changing you; He doesn't want you to try to change for Him.

1 Corinthians 1:7-9
7 ...our Lord Jesus Christ,
8 who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.
9 God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

Philippians 1:6
6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 2:13
13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Philippians 4:13
13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
23 Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
24 He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

Ephesians 3:16
16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being,

Ephesians 6:10
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.

Jude 1:24-25
24 Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy,
25 to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

But, again, God waits on you to agree to His changing you before He will. And this agreement is made by your submission to His will and way throughout each day.

Conduits, not Copyists.

Isaiah 64:8

jonathanhay.substack.com

Harold and the Old Lady.

He'd prayed the same thing for days now, and had determined that this would be the very last time he would ever pray this prayer.

jonathanhay.substack.com

 

[Malkie]

Romans 7:15-24

Hi
Paul had given an answer to the war that was going on inside. Romans 7:25
Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

 

[Tenchi]

Hi
Paul had given an answer to the war that was going on inside. Romans 7:25
Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

Actually, he gives a thorough explanation of what he meant in the verse you quoted in the next chapter. How is one delivered through Jesus Christ? See Romans 8:9-14.

 

[Hopeful 2]

I'm 17 and I still have cravings when it comes to women, every time I see a pretty girl it arouses such a lust in me or I don't know what to call it. I just want to find the kind of half who is a child of God and loves him and acts according to his will and is loyal. I just want love.I don't know how I can overcome lust and what I mentioned. Could you give me some advice about this and relationships at my age and how I should approach and act? Thank you , have a nice day

Hi, Itachi, and welcome to the site.
You have to remember that lusts are time limiting.
By that I mean that the next lust will eclipse the present one and the one after that will eclipse that lust. ect. ect. ect.
Life is a continuous train of devilish efforts to get you to ignore God and His ways.
Peter writes..."... Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:
7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:" (1 Peter 15-7)
Your struggles now will result in a glorious day of judgement ! If you remain faithful until the end.

James writes..."My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." (James 1:2-4)
There is much reward for resistance to temptation, both in this world and the next !
James' next verse gives us recourse for the alleviation of lusts..." If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." (James 1:5)

 

[Malkie]

Actually, he gives a thorough explanation of what he meant in the verse you quoted in the next chapter. How is one delivered through Jesus Christ? See Romans 8:9-14.

Paul was saying that he recognised that a war was going on inside and he knew that the Spirit of God inside was greater than the flesh that is why he was so thankful and praised the Lord. Itachi was looking for help as to how he could deal with lust and I believe Paul explained his experience and gave the answer to trust in the Lord to overcome the sins of the flesh

 

[Tenchi]

Paul was saying that he recognised that a war was going on inside and he knew that the Spirit of God inside was greater than the flesh that is why he was so thankful and praised the Lord. Itachi was looking for help as to how he could deal with lust and I believe Paul explained his experience and gave the answer to trust in the Lord to overcome the sins of the flesh

What does "trust in the Lord to overcome the sins of the flesh" mean in the context of dealing with temptation? What value is it practically, in the midst of the war with the flesh, to know that the Holy Spirit is greater than the flesh? How does this knowledge translate into concrete victory over sin?

I've been discipling men for thirty years and find that Christians are often operating under slogans, and catchphrases, and lingo inside of which, typically, there is only vapor. Rather than give Itachi vaporous slogans, I offered to him a comprehensive explanation of God's Truth that can enable him to actually live in victory over any sin.

 

[Malkie]

What does "trust in the Lord to overcome the sins of the flesh" mean in the context of dealing with temptation? What value is it practically, in the midst of the war with the flesh, to know that the Holy Spirit is greater than the flesh? How does this knowledge translate into concrete victory over sin?

I've been discipling men for thirty years and find that Christians are often operating under slogans, and catchphrases, and lingo inside of which, typically, there is only vapor. Rather than give Itachi vaporous slogans, I offered to him a comprehensive explanation of God's Truth that can enable him to actually live in victory over any sin.

The Lord called me 40 years ago and I know that there are many self righteous people that cannot take correction. Using words that are without life and claiming to know the Lord. To answer your question the fruit of the Spirit is love,joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. You might know that Jesus was tempted and he spoke the Word of God. Self control would result in resistance and if you are aware of Gods word you will know what James said about resist.

 

[Tenchi]

The Lord called me 40 years ago and I know that there are many self righteous people that cannot take correction.

??? Are you giving correction?

I've been a child of God since I was eight. That was fifty years ago. But, so what? I've known many fellow believers who have lived as Christians for the same length of time and longer who are still spiritual infants. The length of time a person has been born-again, then, doesn't necessarily have anything to do with how deep their walk with God is, or how well they understand His truth.

Also, it's been my observation that the things about which folks are themselves most guilty tend to be the things of which they are quickest to accuse others. Just a thought.

Using words that are without life and claiming to know the Lord.

??? About whom are you speaking here?

To answer your question the fruit of the Spirit is love,joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Yes, it is. But such fruit doesn't develop automatically in the life of a born-again person. Just look at all the carnal, sinning saints in the New Testament that Paul, Peter, James and John criticized and corrected. See: 1 Corinthians 3, 5, 6, 11, Galatians 3:3, Ephesians 5:1-13; Revelation 2-3. The men I've discipled were also often guys who had grown up in the church, saved as children, but whose lives were full of ignorance and sin.

You might know that Jesus was tempted and he spoke the Word of God.

Yes, I do. Is this all the believer is enjoined in Scripture to do with God's word? How, exactly, is it the spiritual "sword" Paul the apostle said it was? Do you know?

Self control would result in resistance and if you are aware of Gods word you will know what James said about resist.

How does God say His child's "self control" is obtained? The Fruit of the Holy Spirit is not automatically the result of his being inside of a person, as Scripture indicates. So, how does a born-again person come to be properly manifesting the Fruit of the Spirit in their life? Do you know?

I know what James wrote about resisting the devil, yes. But are you aware of what he wrote right before he wrote "resist the devil and he will flee from you."? I am. And it had a lot to do with what I wrote to Itachi.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

I'm 17 and I still have cravings when it comes to women, every time I see a pretty girl it arouses such a lust in me or I don't know what to call it. I just want to find the kind of half who is a child of God and loves him and acts according to his will and is loyal. I just want love.I don't know how I can overcome lust and what I mentioned. Could you give me some advice about this and relationships at my age and how I should approach and act? Thank you , have a nice day

A child of God won't be distracted by a "pretty girl" who doesn't know you and whom you don't know either. Lust is one of the seven deadly sins, it lures you away from the love of God. If you wanna overcome it, ask yourself some hard questions - Who is she? Why are you attracted to her? What else do you know about her other than a "pretty girl"? There may be plenty of "pretty girls" around, why is she standing out to you? Don't you have anything else important to do? Where does she fit into your schedule and you in hers? What you feel inside is a natural hormonal arousal, it comes and goes like a wave. If all she means to you is nothing more than a pretty face that passes by, then the sight of her is like a wave too, it's foolish to dwell on it and agonize yourself. Let her go and move on.

However, if you really wanna date this girl and have a relationship with her, find a way to know her and connect with her first, assess her reaction and behavior, see if she's available, whether you two are compatible, is she insterested in you, do you share any value or belief with her, is there a potential future. Always think before you act, don't give in to your emotions. If the feeling is mutual, you determine to go further, then keep in mind that love is not lust, it demands sacrifice and devotion, it's earned, not given, you're not entitled to any woman. A healthy, vibrant relationship is like a business that requires investment of your time, money, energy. You as the man is expected to make her happy, to put her need before your own. Remember how love is defined in the bible:

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." (1 Cor. 13:4-8)

So before you dive in, count the cost and think carefully, make sure you're mature and responsible enough to handle a relationship - rather than an infatuation or what is called "situationship". Otherwise, you can admire her beauty from a distance, but don't get personally involved, we must put our vertical relationship with Christ first and foremost, any carnal relationship with woman is optional, it's not for everyone.

 

[Malkie]

??? Are you giving correction?

I've been a child of God since I was eight. That was fifty years ago. But, so what? I've known many fellow believers who have lived as Christians for the same length of time and longer who are still spiritual infants. The length of time a person has been born-again, then, doesn't necessarily have anything to do with how deep their walk with God is, or how well they understand His truth.

Also, it's been my observation that the things about which folks are themselves most guilty tend to be the things of which they are quickest to accuse others. Just a thought.



??? About whom are you speaking here?



Yes, it is. But such fruit doesn't develop automatically in the life of a born-again person. Just look at all the carnal, sinning saints in the New Testament that Paul, Peter, James and John criticized and corrected. See: 1 Corinthians 3, 5, 6, 11, Galatians 3:3, Ephesians 5:1-13; Revelation 2-3. The men I've discipled were also often guys who had grown up in the church, saved as children, but whose lives were full of ignorance and sin.



Yes, I do. Is this all the believer is enjoined in Scripture to do with God's word? How, exactly, is it the spiritual "sword" Paul the apostle said it was? Do you know?



How does God say His child's "self control" is obtained? The Fruit of the Holy Spirit is not automatically the result of his being inside of a person, as Scripture indicates. So, how does a born-again person come to be properly manifesting the Fruit of the Spirit in their life? Do you know?

I know what James wrote about resisting the devil, yes. But are you aware of what he wrote right before he wrote "resist the devil and he will flee from you."? I am. And it had a lot to do with what I wrote to Itachi.

My understanding of Paul is that he thanked the Lord knowing where his help comes from. He knew that what he had received was from the Lord. James said “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you”. KJ version.
The word therefore carries on from what had been previously written.

 

[D-D-W]

The Lord called me 40 years ago and I know that there are many self righteous people that cannot take correction. Using words that are without life and claiming to know the Lord. To answer your question the fruit of the Spirit is love,joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. You might know that Jesus was tempted and he spoke the Word of God. Self control would result in resistance and if you are aware of Gods word you will know what James said about resist.

I find it interesting that as much as Paul called for self control in many areas of life, one area he NEVER called for self control is in the sexual area. Rather he says this:

1 Corinthians 7:9
But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

 

[Tenchi]

1 Corinthians 6:18
18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

2 Timothy 2:22
22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Romans 13:13-14
13 Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy.
14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

Galatians 5:22
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

1 Corinthians 10:8
8 We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day.

Ephesians 5:3
3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.

Colossians 3:5
5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

Romans 8:13
13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality;
4 that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor,
5 not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

Galatians 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

2 Corinthians 3:18
18 And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another, even by the Lord who is the Spirit.

Galatians 5:16
16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

Galatians 5:25
25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.

Marriage is NOT the solution to sexual immorality. Many are the men and women who marry who still live in sexual sin, cheating on their spouse emotionally and physically, looking at porn, flirting with co-workers, or entering into adulterous affairs. God's way of escape from any and all sin, including sexual immorality is life in the Spirit.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

Yes, anyone who sells marriage as a solution is idolator of marriage, they're worshippers of the bygone bourgeois lifestyle. A life in the spirit is a life of celibacy, follow the spirit and go wherever God wants you to be. You don't belong to any woman and no woman belongs to you, you belong to Christ who has redeemed you with his precious blood. If you feel empty, lonely or sad, no woman can fix you, only God does through Christ. Any average Joe can date, marry and breed, you're chosen by God to live an extraordinary life for a holy purpose. Celibacy may be an ugly label of shame, prudishness by worldly standard, but it's a badge of honor pinned on your chest by God. Any pretty face you're attracted to is just a passing delusion, they come and go like a wave, you must not be tempted and led astray.

 

[D-D-W]

Yes, anyone who sells marriage as a solution is idolator of marriage

Then you will have to put Paul in that list. In 1 Corinthians 7 he says it is better to marry than to burn. That can be either or both of sexual desire or romantic need.

Both Paul (1 Corinthians 7.7) and our Lord said celibacy is a gift, (Matthew 19:11) and Paul uses the word charisma meaning a special gift of grace, the same word he uses 4 chapters later to describe prophecy, healing and miracles. Very potent from God and just as rare.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

Then you will have to put Paul in that list. In 1 Corinthians 7 he says it is better to marry than to burn. That can be either or both of sexual desire or romantic need.

Both Paul (1 Corinthians 7.7) and our Lord said celibacy is a gift, (Matthew 19:11) and Paul uses the word charisma meaning a special gift of grace, the same word he uses 4 chapters later to describe prophecy, healing and miracles. Very potent from God and just as rare.

Marriage is only for those who lack of self-control, he's not promoting marriage, in the same context he wish all of his readers were like him - single! Also, by the Lord's standard, not Paul's own advice, which Paul specifically emphesized, that divorce is strictly forbidden, even separation is frowned upon. Can you really find your perfect soul mate and stick to her till death do you part? Meanwhile half of all marriages end up in divorce, church communities no different from the secular mass? If you find it a bit unrealistic, how about heeding Paul's advice in 1 Cor. 7:8, and take that special gift with gladness?

But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; (1 Cor. 7:8)

"Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife." (1 Cor. 7:10-11)

 

[D-D-W]

But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; (1 Cor. 7:8)

Read what he says just before that:

7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift [charisma] from God, one in this manner, and another in that.

And this is what our Lord said:

Matthew 19.10 The disciples *said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” 11 But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.

Staying single is a special gift from God, only given to a small number. Everyone else should be married. To choose to stay single is to choose to violate God's first command: Be fruitful and multiply.