Now then, to what the Bible actually teaches about this subject...
I'd like to approach this in two ways:
One, to discuss those texts that seem to support God's sanctioning of polygyny to see if they truly do.
Two, to examine what the texts that are clearly from God say specifically about marriage...is it between one man and one woman, or does God Himself ever state that marriage to more than one woman is fine with him.
Both are important. It's not enough to just say, "Well, the Bible doesn't say that" without including what the Bible does say about this subject.
Regarding those texts that seem to say polygyny is approved by God:
Adelphos, you said in regards to 2 Samuel 12:8:
1. They were wives of Saul that were given to David, and because the context of the passage was about David's desire for another woman, it is quite obvious that God wasn't mentioning other wives as a casual statement. It had direct application to the issue of David's sin. If not, this Scripture is totally out of place!
2. Therefore, it is still a "go to" Scripture to demonstrate the heart of God in the matter - in regards to marriage, one may have more than one wife.
I've gone over this, but am willing to continue to unpack this text since I know it is one of the most compelling texts that pro-polygyny people use.
The context of the text is when Nathan confronts David with his sin with Bathsheba.
Here's the text:
2 Samuel 12
7 Nathan then said to David, “You are the man! Thus says the LORD God of Israel, ‘It is I who anointed you king over Israel and it is I who delivered you from the hand of Saul.
8 I also gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your care, and I gave you the house of Israel and Judah; and if that had been too little, I would have added to you many more things like these!
9 Why have you despised the word of the LORD by doing evil in His sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword, have taken his wife to be your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the sons of Ammon.
10 Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’
11 Thus says the LORD, ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you from your own household; I will even take your wives before your eyes and give them to your companion, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight.
12 Indeed you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, and under the sun.’â€
13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.†And Nathan said to David, “The LORD also has taken away your sin; you shall not die.
14 However, because by this deed you have given occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born to you shall surely die.â€
It's verse 8, and not even the whole verse, just a phrase within a sentence, that is being put forth as being the "proof" that God Himself gives men more than one wife.
I don't think it says that at all.
What does Nathan actually say from the Lord here? Let's read it again:
‘It is I who anointed you king over Israel and it is I who delivered you from the hand of Saul. I also gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your care, and I gave you the house of Israel and Judah; and if that had been too little, I would have added to you many more things like these!
For me to believe that God is sanctioning polygyny in this, it would have to say something along the line of "It is I who gave you many wives"...
But it doesn't say that...not at all.
God is pointing out to David just how much that He had blessed him. He appointed David to King over Israel, He delivered David when Saul was out to kill him, turning it instead to be that David would receive all that was Saul's...Saul's household, including Saul's wives, were put into David's care. Not only that, God made David king, not just over Israel, but over Judah as well. Saul's son was king over Judah after the fallout, but God took that kingdom and delivered it to David. God then points out to David, after proclaiming how He placed David as king over not one but two kingdoms and had delivered all that was Saul's to him, that if that hadn't been enough, God would have given him even more.
Somehow, all of this seems to get ignored or glossed over, or just not considered and the pro-polygyny types just zero in on two things out of the passage, making it read something like this:
It is I who anointed you king over Israel and it is I who delivered you from the hand of Saul. I also gave you your master’s house andyour master’s wives into your care, and I gave you the house of Israel and Judah; and if that had been too little, I would have added to you many more things like these!
I wanted that visual in there because hopefully this can give clarity to just how weak an argument is for using 2 Samuel 12:8 as some kind of proof text that God promotes or even condones polygyny.
The argument that this text teaches God's condoning of polygyny should be completely destroyed by considering this:
There is no way, no how that God gave David Saul's wives as wives! The reason being that David was married to one of Saul's daughters. This would cause David to be married to both a mother and daughter, something that was expressly forbidden by God. One cannot make the case that God gave David all of Saul's wives except the mother of his wife, because the text says no such thing.
The only thing this text states is that Saul's wives were turned over to David. Their fate was in his hands. He could have locked them away for the rest of their lives, he could have made slaves out of them...what he actually did was turn their care over to Jonathan's son, turning them back over to the last of Saul's line.
Surely Adelphos, you can see that this text in no way supports the idea that God sanctions polygyny...there is just no support for that point of view within the text.
Going back to this:
1. They were wives of Saul that were given to David, and because the context of the passage was about David's desire for another woman, it is quite obvious that God wasn't mentioning other wives as a casual statement. It had direct application to the issue of David's sin. If not, this Scripture is totally out of place!
Not at all!!!
First, I would disagree that the context is specifically about David's desire for another woman as much as it is that David took what was not his to take, after God had so richly blessed him. Think about Nathan's parable about the rich man who had much who stole the poor man's ewe. The direct application to David's sin was that God had blessed David immeasurably and David killed another man to cover his adulterous affair with his wife. If the verse was written the way I wrote it in my graphic, perhaps your interpretation of it would be correct. But, if all God wanted to point out to David was, "Hey, I gave you plenty of wives and would have given you more"...then He would have said that. Hopefully, you can see that isn't what God was saying.
I'm sorry Adelphos, this text does not teach us that God gave David Saul's wives as wives...God gave them to David as part of a complete transfer of power from Saul to David. David in no way took these women as wives and would have certainly condemned himself, Michel and Ahinoam to death had he done so.
Now lets look at Deuteronomy 17:17 and Deuteronomy 21:15
17:17 "He shall not multiply wives for himself, or else his heart will turn away; nor shall he greatly increase silver and gold for himself.
21:15"If a man has two wives, the one loved and the other unloved, and both the loved and the unloved have borne him sons, if the firstborn son belongs to the unloved,
Here is the problem with looking at regulatory laws such as this and saying that they prove God sanctions or condones something.
Consider this one:
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house, and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man’s wife, and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God gives you as an inheritance.
Does this passage teach that God sanctions or condones divorce?
Of course not, we know from our Lord Himself that the only reason why Moses put this in the Law was due to the hardness of men's hearts. These same men that would also take on multiple wives as well.
The only way to state that the Bible teaches that God Himself sanctions or condones polygyny is to point out texts where it states that God gave someone more than one wife.
We have already put to rest, or at least I hope we have, that God did not give the wives of Saul to David, nor did David take the wives of Saul as wives. They were his prisoners...nothing more. He showed them much mercy.
In the other texts that I can find that speaks of taking on more than one wife, there is generally the language that a human was doing this. In the case of Lamech, he took for himself more than one wife. In the case of Abraham and Hagar, Sarah gave Abraham Hagar (and boy did she regret it, nor did God bless Abraham and Hagar's union. God did make a nation out of Ishmael, but it was not the nation of promise.
Now, about those texts that state that David was a man after God's own heart, or that Abraham followed the Lord in all of his ways...yes, these were men of faith, but they also were sinners just like you and I. Abraham passed Sarah off as his sister, David lied to Ahimelech...they sinned. Not everything they did was of faith or sanctioned by God, but their faith was accounted to them as righteousness.
There are no scriptures that shows that God gave anyone more than one wife to take as a wife. It just isn't in there.