[__ Prayer __] Prayer for my living situation

[Blain DeCastro]

So here is the deal. For the past two or three years I had been living in my own apartment but my health got bad and I had no support from my family. They basically just let my health keep getting worse even though I told them my health isn't a joke, and told them what would happen if we didn't take care of it. I am disabled and legally blind. My body has issues from the cancer I had as a kid; permanent health issues and I can do most things on my own but I need a little help and support to function on my own.

Well aside from my health I was literally starving to death unable to afford much food and on top of that my room mate was stealing money from me, eating all kinds of junk food and fast food while I was becoming skin and bones. I had to call the ER several times just so I could get fluids and some food in me "I could barely move or walk from low energy and with my health and starving I almost died.

A case manager from the ER took action because she had met with me several times in the ER and was furious at my family for letting me get to that point. She sent me to a nursing home and I finally got to eat and get my medications and my health was getting better. My body got some wight and my energy came back. But while that is all well and good, this place is a prison. You cannot even go outside or do anything outside the building the people in charge do not care about the people here. They just want the money they get from having people live here every day. I struggle with my mental state being locked up in this building every day being like the day before dealing with constant depression sleeping a lot, not eating and wondering if God is punishing me.

I have tried every which way to be able to get out and live my life, but every which way I try it doesn't work out. I was denied assistant living and most nursing homes here in Oklahoma I don't qualify for ,and there is no one willing to take me in and help me get back on my feet so I am stuck here.

I am trying to just accept the situation and trust God but my hope is dried out I am just sad and feeling trapped, and I would do anything to just be able to have my apartment again but this time have the right support so my health doesn't get worse again. But there seems to be no path in sight for me and I fear I will be stuck here for the rest of my life.

I am even starting to get suicidal thoughts I am a free spirit I can't be caged or in prisoned or else my mental state gets really bad. And honestly I tried to be strong I tried my best to follow the path God wanted but because of other people not listening to me about my health, my roomate stealing tons of money from me, and just life in general I lost everything and am now in a prison - granted a civil prison but still a prison.

I am just at my lowest point now and need prayers for God to free me from this place

 

[Hidden In Him]

So here is the deal. For the past two or three years I had been living in my own apartment but my health got bad and I had no support from my family. They basically just let my health keep getting worse even though I told them my health isn't a joke, and told them what would happen if we didn't take care of it. I am disabled and legally blind. My body has issues from the cancer I had as a kid; permanent health issues and I can do most things on my own but I need a little help and support to function on my own.

Well aside from my health I was literally starving to death unable to afford much food and on top of that my room mate was stealing money from me, eating all kinds of junk food and fast food while I was becoming skin and bones. I had to call the ER several times just so I could get fluids and some food in me "I could barely move or walk from low energy and with my health and starving I almost died.

A case manager from the ER took action because she had met with me several times in the ER and was furious at my family for letting me get to that point. She sent me to a nursing home and I finally got to eat and get my medications and my health was getting better. My body got some wight and my energy came back. But while that is all well and good, this place is a prison. You cannot even go outside or do anything outside the building the people in charge do not care about the people here. They just want the money they get from having people live here every day. I struggle with my mental state being locked up in this building every day being like the day before dealing with constant depression sleeping a lot, not eating and wondering if God is punishing me.

I have tried every which way to be able to get out and live my life, but every which way I try it doesn't work out. I was denied assistant living and most nursing homes here in Oklahoma I don't qualify for ,and there is no one willing to take me in and help me get back on my feet so I am stuck here.

I am trying to just accept the situation and trust God but my hope is dried out I am just sad and feeling trapped, and I would do anything to just be able to have my apartment again but this time have the right support so my health doesn't get worse again. But there seems to be no path in sight for me and I fear I will be stuck here for the rest of my life.

I am even starting to get suicidal thoughts I am a free spirit I can't be caged or in prisoned or else my mental state gets really bad. And honestly I tried to be strong I tried my best to follow the path God wanted but because of other people not listening to me about my health, my roomate stealing tons of money from me, and just life in general I lost everything and am now in a prison - granted a civil prison but still a prison.

I am just at my lowest point now and need prayers for God to free me from this place

How long have you been living there now, Blain?

 

[Blain DeCastro]

How long have you been living there now, Blain?

Almost a whole year though it seems like an eternity

 

[GodsGrace]

Almost a whole year though it seems like an eternity

Hi Blain
I'm so sorry for the situation you're in.

I'm going to say something that you may not like.
I see many persons that are truly alone and have no one to help them.

They don't even have the luck you've had to be able to be in a nursing home.
I don't understand why you're not allowed to go out....like you said, it's not a prison.

It's really better than the situation you were in before.
Maybe you should stay there until something better becomes available?
If you had your own place, how would you pay for it?
So much to consider.
Is there no assistance for the legally blind where you live?

Try to stay calm and peaceful,,,always having hope in the future.
Somehow, this may be the best situation for you right now.
It will change eventually.
I really don't believe you'll still be in this home years from now.
Time and patience.
God bless you.

 

[Blain DeCastro]

Hi Blain
I'm so sorry for the situation you're in.

I'm going to say something that you may not like.
I see many persons that are truly alone and have no one to help them.

They don't even have the luck you've had to be able to be in a nursing home.
I don't understand why you're not allowed to go out....like you said, it's not a prison.

It's really better than the situation you were in before.
Maybe you should stay there until something better becomes available?
If you had your own place, how would you pay for it?
So much to consider.
Is there no assistance for the legally blind where you live?

Try to stay calm and peaceful,,,always having hope in the future.
Somehow, this may be the best situation for you right now.
It will change eventually.
I really don't believe you'll still be in this home years from now.
Time and patience.
God bless you.

well as far as affording to live the only reason I was unable to before was because my roomate was stealing hundreds of dollars from me and I ended up starving to death so this nursing home was an emergancy situation so I was able to live but circumstances made it impossible

And yeah this place is not a literally prison but it functions like one because it is a psych nursing home it was the only one that would take me in the emergancy room so I had no choice but to go here

That is why they don't allow you to go outside almost everyone here is not mentally capable and would get lost or hurt

It is not like I have anything against the facility but since I am trapped inside and the way the rules are so strict on everything it feels like a prison I sometimes watch prison shows and I can see the similarities it is very similar to prison

But it also has to be that way because of the people who live here but I also cannot stand being caged I miss going on my walks a lot just walking talking with God taking everything in I miss it

I miss interacting with normal people I cannot interact with most people here because they simply are not mentally capable so it is very lonely here for me

 

[Hidden In Him]

But it also has to be that way because of the people who live here but I also cannot stand being caged I miss going on my walks a lot just walking talking with God taking everything in I miss it

I miss interacting with normal people I cannot interact with most people here because they simply are not mentally capable so it is very lonely here for me

All the more reason to have people to interact with here, Blaine. And the Lord can deliver you if you believe Him for it and keep praying earnestly. He can also help you cope. Paul prayed three times for terrible circumstances to be lifted off of him, and in that case the Lord did not change his circumstances, but He obviously helped him to deal with things and understand. And there were numerous times in scripture where God did deliver people from their situations, so just keep trusting in God and seeking Him. In the meantime God has opened a door for ministry and fellowship, and is calling you to give yourself to Him more and more. Out of that you could bear tremendous fruit if you let Him.

 

[Blain DeCastro]

All the more reason to have people to interact with here, Blaine. And the Lord can deliver you if you believe Him for it and keep praying earnestly. He can also help you cope. Paul prayed three times for terrible circumstances to be lifted off of him, and in that case the Lord did not change his circumstances, but He obviously helped him to deal with things and understand. And there were numerous times in scripture where God did deliver people from their situations, so just keep trusting in God and seeking Him. In the meantime God has opened a door for ministry and fellowship, and is calling you to give yourself to Him more and more. Out of that you could bear tremendous fruit if you let Him.

Yes I suppose that is true, I have tried to trust him and I do hope that this situation will change at the very least if I just could go on my walks that would be a huge help for me.

I am currently hoping to get into another nursing facility where they allow you to go on walks it is called edmond health care and it has much more freedom I have to wait for the referral and then see if I am able to go but my only request to God is to at the very least let me go there granted it is not the same as living on my own like I used to but it also is much better than being here

In the mean time I try to make it day by day and though I have my down times most days I am ok but I also have almost given up hope for change in a way because I have tried to go to many other nursing homes and everywhich way I try for whatever reason nothing works out for me

I get denied over and over again no place will take me because I am so young or because they don't have room and my only conclusion is that it must not be where he wants me but I am also tired of getting my hopes up only for them to be crashing down because I keep getting rejected

I can only take so much rejection before I begin to lose hope and in a way it is good for me to lose hope because then I cannot get hurt from being rejected again

I know that is not a healthy attitude but unless something anything changes it would be prefered over getting hurt again

I will however try to trust him and ask that I can get out of here though to be honest I am starting to wonder if he simply doesn't want me to for whatever reason

I actually wonder sometimes if I am being punished for something I did and you know on this other Christian site I made this prayer request and one person told me that God told him that I am being punished and that it is because I am being disobedient and sinning but he also said I have many curses on my life

 

[for_his_glory]

First I would like to say that God is not punishing you, but to know that God is walking beside you during these times of trials and tribulations in your life. We don't always understand why God would let our lives get so desperate at times and even though it is hard we have to keep faith as this seems to me that Satan is trying to steal what faith you have.

Is there anyway that maybe some of the churches in your area could help you find a good Christian room mate if you go to them and explain your situation as I will keep this in prayer for you. I know how bad some nursing homes can be in neglecting the residents, but this can also be a time to draw closer to God and continue studying His word. It could also be that you could take the word of God to other residents in the home helping them to learn about Jesus. We usually do not understand God's ways, but only to trust He has our best interest at heart. It might not be the best food, but at least for now you have a roof over your head and food in your belly until your situation changes for the better. Don't give up hope.

 

[Blain DeCastro]

First I would like to say that God is not punishing you, but to know that God is walking beside you during these times of trials and tribulations in your life. We don't always understand why God would let our lives get so desperate at times and even though it is hard we have to keep faith as this seems to me that Satan is trying to steal what faith you have.

Is there anyway that maybe some of the churches in your area could help you find a good Christian room mate if you go to them and explain your situation as I will keep this in prayer for you. I know how bad some nursing homes can be in neglecting the residents, but this can also be a time to draw closer to God and continue studying His word. It could also be that you could take the word of God to other residents in the home helping them to learn about Jesus. We usually do not understand God's ways, but only to trust He has our best interest at heart. It might not be the best food, but at least for now you have a roof over your head and food in your belly until your situation changes for the better. Don't give up hope.

Yes your right and thank you for your response it was very edifying for me.
I wish I could go to church but sadly I have no way of going due to being stuck inside and having no ride to church but I do believe that God has me for a reason while it may not be punishment perhaps he is trying to teach me something but I do also think that the enemy is trying to steal my faith as I have noticed that as time goes on it becomes more and more difficult to trust him

But since I came here I have noticed that God has been giving me more dreams and visions than normal mostly visions but still more dreams too perhaps to show me he is still with me

 

[Hidden In Him]

I am currently hoping to get into another nursing facility where they allow you to go on walks it is called edmond health care and it has much more freedom

I will pray for Edmond Health Care.

I actually wonder sometimes if I am being punished for something I did and you know on this other Christian site I made this prayer request and one person told me that God told him that I am being punished and that it is because I am being disobedient and sinning but he also said I have many curses on my life

What site was this?

 

[Blain DeCastro]

I will pray for Edmond Health Care.


What site was this?

Thank you the prayers are appreciated and the site I am talking about is called Christian chat, it was my home since 2012 but it has become quite toxic as of late and the site itself keeps crashing

The only good thing about it is that it is pretty active but I really like this forum better

 

[Hidden In Him]

Thank you the prayers are appreciated and the site I am talking about is called Christian chat, it was my home since 2012 but it has become quite toxic as of late

Yes, it has. And that makes perfect sense. Christian Chat would not be a good fit for you, Blaine. There are a few very outspoken members there who attack and insult anyone who believes the gifts are for today, and as of my last visit, one of them was considering buying that site, which would be its death nell. There are some here who do not believe in the supernatural gifts for today as well, and that's fine. But we do not tolerate anyone being ugly to anyone else. It is not in keeping with the Spirit of God.

If I were you I would put those words out of my head. With all seriousness they were with virtually not coming from God but from the enemy. Satan loves to tell people they are cursed of God (such as through Job's wife) so they will deny Him to His face and be damned. But it is usually a strategy that fails because he plays his hand, and you find out you are simply being lied to.

Blessings, Blaine DeCastro, and stay right where you are. That is exactly the kind of thing we are working to avoid here, as no one needs to hear that business. If God has a problem with you, He will also present the solution, always hoping for your recovery, and the voice of God cannot and will not speak in the midst of strife and contentiousness.

So sorry you had to go through all that.

 

[Blain DeCastro]

Yes, it has. And that makes perfect sense. Christian Chat would not be a good fit for you, Blaine. There are a few very outspoken members there who attack and insult anyone who believes the gifts are for today, and as of my last visit, one of them was considering buying that site, which would be its death nell. There are some here who do not believe in the supernatural gifts for today as well, and that's fine. But we do not tolerate anyone being ugly to anyone else. It is not in keeping with the Spirit of God.

If I were you I would put those words out of my head. With all seriousness they were with virtually not coming from God but from the enemy. Satan loves to tell people they are cursed of God (such as through Job's wife) so they will deny Him to His face and be damned. But it is usually a strategy that fails because he plays his hand, and you find out you are simply being lied to.

Blessings, Blaine DeCastro, and stay right where you are. That is exactly the kind of thing we are working to avoid here, as no one needs to hear that business. If God has a problem with you, He will also present the solution, always hoping for your recovery, and the voice of God cannot and will not speak in the midst of strife and contentiousness.

So sorry you had to go through all that.

Oh you were on cc as well? do I know you from there? but yeah that whole thing about the gifts not being for today.... that is a huge thing I have against the site, The freedom to mock attack and slander is outrageous just because you disagree with someone doesn't mean you need to do all that

It has always been my belief that God never changes if the gifts were for then they are for today as well. and that is interesting that someone wanted to buy the site I worry who that is because if it is bought out by the wrong person that truly would be the death of it

 

[Hidden In Him]

Oh you were on cc as well? do I know you from there?

No, probably not. I wasn't on very much. Off and on for awhile. Someone took my site name in 2014, so I'm Vindicator there instead. But I don't think we ever talked.

The freedom to mock attack and slander is outrageous just because you disagree with someone doesn't mean you need to do all that

I fully agree. There is a philosophy that "Christians should have the freedom to say whatever they want." This could apply to things like social issues (homosexuality/ immorality etc) in a proper way if what we said were spoken in love. But it is turned into a mantra that in effect says, "Christians can be just as nasty and ugly to one another as they like, and no one should stop them from expressing themselves." This is very unBiblical, and leadership not only should but has a responsibility TO stop it whenever possible. The New Testament writers wrote entire epistles attempting to correct that business, and it needs to be, because it equates to letting the enemy speak through us rather than God. Nothing wrong with correcting one another in love - that is necessary sometimes - but "correcting" others in a spirit of hatred and bitterness only breeds more of the same spirit; more bitterness and strife, that eventually gets out of hand like a little kindling starting a forest fire, as James described.

 

[Blain DeCastro]

No, probably not. I wasn't on very much. Off and on for awhile. Someone took my site name in 2014, so I'm Vindicator there instead. But I don't think we ever talked.


I fully agree. There is a philosophy that "Christians should have the freedom to say whatever they want." This could apply to things like social issues (homosexuality/ immorality etc) in a proper way if what we said were spoken in love. But it is turned into a mantra that in effect says, "Christians can be just as nasty and ugly to one another as they like, and no one should stop them from expressing themselves." This is very unBiblical, and leadership not only should but has a responsibility TO stop it whenever possible. The New Testament writers wrote entire epistles attempting to correct that business, and it needs to be, because it equates to letting the enemy speak through us rather than God. Nothing wrong with correcting one another in love - that is necessary sometimes - but "correcting" others in a spirit of hatred and bitterness only breeds more of the same spirit; more bitterness and strife, that eventually gets out of hand like a little kindling starting a forest fire, as James described.

I am glad you understand this I have said all this for years but to no avail The way I see it both God and the enemy use us like chess pieces on a chess board and the enemy knows the art of war very well in order to win a war you confuse divide and conquer if you can cause strife in an enemies camp you basically won the war

This site may not be as active but in my opinion it is much better