[__ Prayer __] Prayers about my childhood abuse.

[Marianne333]

Hi, I am late to this thread, but I will be praying for you. Honestly I avoided this thread because I was concerned it could trigger some bad memories for me. But as I read your prayer request and all the replies I really learned a lot and can apply it to my own situation. I will be praying for you to get out of this stronger and wiser and get out of this as soon as possible even though as was noted God has his own timing. Praying for you, stay strong.

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

Marianne333
Thank you for your prayers. I thought sharing might help others too.
I'm glad you weren't triggered.

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

I haven't been around because life has been pretty rough lately with anxiety off the charts, and sciatica so painful it's hard to bear up under.
Not looking for sympathy, but continued prayer would be appreciated more than you know.
Don't have a clue what this is all about, and in my advanced years I don't have the same resilience I had years ago, and I'm just mentally and physically exhausted all the time now.
I'm feeling a bit lost and confused about the suffering I'm experiencing.
I know God is with me and loves me, but there is no peace or freedom from any of this, and my prayers don't seem to be affecting my situation as I call out to God.
Affects of childhood abuse can just drive me crazy at times.
Thank you all for your prayers as I continue to endure, with God's help.

God bless you all.
Seasoned by Grace

 

[Tessa]

Praying for the peace and freedom you are looking and praying for Seasoned by Grace
Thoughts are with you too.

 

[Christ_empowered]

My parents were and are good people. My problems mostly came from the community with mental health professionals leading the charge. I was apparently labeled from a very young age and basically experimented on. True story. Now I am labeled with schizophrenia.

Broad road terrible place. I thank Jesus Christ for His mercy and love. Prayers for you.

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

Praying for the peace and freedom you are looking and praying for Seasoned by Grace
Thoughts are with you too.

Tessa my sister in Christ.
Thank you so much.
I haven't had to endure anything like this in many years, so I don't have enough words of appreciation for your prayers right now.

God bless you with all my heart. May God bless you greatly for your prayers.
Seasoned by Grace

 

[Tessa]

Dear brother have you any painkillers for the sciatica?
I have just prayed for you and will continue to do so.

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

I thought I would explain.

Childhood abuse doesn't have to be sexual. Mine wasn't.
My poor parents were both abused. One sexual. My mother. They were good people, but broken, without Jesus.
She didn't want kids in the worst way because of it, but I came along, and she hated having me, and did little to meet my needs. Mostly ignored me from birth, and my dad ignored me too, but was physically abusive, beating me with a board when his anger got the best of him. There was no joy or love shown in my being part of their life, ever.
And all through my adult years, she was a constant source of criticism and so was my dad.
Both have been gone now many years, and it amazes me that after all these years something like all this can come back and trigger me, and cause such turmoil and pain in my life.
I'm kinda lost about how to deal with all this, except to throw myself at Christ's feet, and beg for mercy and for His grace.
There is no way to understand what people like me go through if you haven't been there.
It's like hell on earth.

Thank you Jesus that you're alive and real. What would I do without you???
Thank you for letting me share. It helps the pain.

 

[Sister]

I thought I would explain.

Childhood abuse doesn't have to be sexual. Mine wasn't.
My poor parents were both abused. One sexual. My mother. They were good people, but broken, without Jesus.
She didn't want kids in the worst way because of it, but I came along, and she hated having me, and did little to meet my needs. Mostly ignored me from birth, and my dad ignored me too, but was physically abusive, beating me with a board when his anger got the best of him. There was no joy or love shown in my being part of their life, ever.
And all through my adult years, she was a constant source of criticism and so was my dad.
Both have been gone now many years, and it amazes me that after all these years something like all this can come back and trigger me, and cause such turmoil and pain in my life.
I'm kinda lost about how to deal with all this, except to throw myself at Christ's feet, and beg for mercy and for His grace.
There is no way to understand what people like me go through if you haven't been there.
It's like hell on earth.

Thank you Jesus that you're alive and real. What would I do without you???
Thank you for letting me share. It helps the pain.

Sometimes counting blessings has helped, scriptures too...music...journaling, art... The enemy will always try to get in and bringing up the past is sadly what he uses. But forgiveness and God's strength allows victors in this to overcome. Because in Christ we are victors. It is what we do.

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

Thank you so much Sister.
You're so right.
For me and many abused, not having control, is a huge trigger we have no control over, and it terrifies us.
We have to learn to not be afraid, because Jesus is in control, but it takes time, and there is sometimes a lot of uncontrollable emotions and pain in the learning process.
It's part of a process I've been through before, but I guess I wasn't done with it yet.

 

[Tessa]

I thought I would explain.

Childhood abuse doesn't have to be sexual. Mine wasn't.
My poor parents were both abused. One sexual. My mother. They were good people, but broken, without Jesus.
She didn't want kids in the worst way because of it, but I came along, and she hated having me, and did little to meet my needs. Mostly ignored me from birth, and my dad ignored me too, but was physically abusive, beating me with a board when his anger got the best of him. There was no joy or love shown in my being part of their life, ever.
And all through my adult years, she was a constant source of criticism and so was my dad.
Both have been gone now many years, and it amazes me that after all these years something like all this can come back and trigger me, and cause such turmoil and pain in my life.
I'm kinda lost about how to deal with all this, except to throw myself at Christ's feet, and beg for mercy and for His grace.
There is no way to understand what people like me go through if you haven't been there.
It's like hell on earth.

Thank you Jesus that you're alive and real. What would I do without you???
Thank you for letting me share. It helps the pain.

Seasoned by Grace no person is capable of giving love, proper love, if they have not been given it in their heart by God. Children who have treated denied love from their parents grow up feeling they must be unworthy of it. We tend to think our parents are always right, and of course nobody is that. They don't realise what harm they cause.
You have a great deal of love in your heart. The best gift from God that you can possibly receive. You know how greatly God loves you. He is the greatest Father you could ever have.
The Son of God even died for you.
We are all going to be so happy when the former things are forgotten and never brought to mind. I look forward to that day, as I am sure you do too.
God Bless You and take this suffering away from you, si that you can enjoy the rest of your life happily with peace of mind.

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

This is the first time I have opened up about my past and asked for prayer. This is new for me.
I am a first born and we tend to keep things to ourselves, and tough our way through anything like this.
This has been so un-nerving, as I thought my faith was stronger than this, but right now I feel so weak in my faith and confused right now. It's so hard when you know God is there, but won't rescue me as He has in the past.
Everyones response has been beautiful, and is appreciated more than I know how to explain.
It's so nice to have people to trust, who don't put me down, or criticise me, and just pray for me.

You are all loved very much for your kindness.
Seasoned by Grace

 

[Tessa]

We are cf.net family. All brothers and sisters. We all love you Seasoned by Grace we are here for you. When you are hurt we feel it with you.
God loves you greatly. He will bring you through this.

 

[Sister]

This is the first time I have opened up about my past and asked for prayer. This is new for me.
I am a first born and we tend to keep things to ourselves, and tough our way through anything like this.
This has been so un-nerving, as I thought my faith was stronger than this, but right now I feel so weak in my faith and confused right now. It's so hard when you know God is there, but won't rescue me as He has in the past.
Everyones response has been beautiful, and is appreciated more than I know how to explain.
It's so nice to have people to trust, who don't put me down, or criticise me, and just pray for me.

You are all loved very much for your kindness.
Seasoned by Grace

This forum is just the best. <3 When I first came on a different forum in 2005, I was seeking support too from things. I eventually had to get offline help yes, but the prayers and advice from people I never met really was the extra push I guess that helped me get the confidence to go and do that. I cannot wait to meet some of my online friends in Heaven some day.

You are loved Seasoned by Grace !!!!

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

Thank you all so much for the prayers, Sister, PopaSodinski, Tessa, Christ_empowered, and Marianne333, JLB, Truthfrees, and for_his_glory.
I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining in my posts. The pain makes me feel a little crazy, as I can't escape it, but I know God loves me and has a plan for my future.
All of your loving, kind words I have never experienced before, and I am overwhelmed with love for all of you, and your most generous kindness and concern. It's the first time I've ever been shown any love from God's people.

Today is another harsh day, without much sleep last night, but I have been praying for wisdom and guidance by the Holy Spirit, and Praising God for this time of growth and suffering, the best I know how, and studying topics from His word about these times in our lives, that He promises will happen, to help us mature in our faith.
I know trials never happen without a purpose from God, and it is beyond my ability to say how much I love you all for everyone's support and prayers at this difficult time.

May God bless you all greatly for your loving, and kind support and prayers.
Your generosity is beyond any words I could express properly.
Seasoned by Grace

 

[Truthfrees]

Thank you all so much for the prayers, Sister, PopaSodinski, Tessa, Christ_empowered, and Marianne333, JLB, Truthfrees, and for_his_glory.
I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining in my posts. The pain makes me feel a little crazy, as I can't escape it, but I know God loves me and has a plan for my future.
All of your loving, kind words I have never experienced before, and I am overwhelmed with love for all of you, and your most generous kindness and concern. It's the first time I've ever been shown any love from God's people.

Today is another harsh day, without much sleep last night, but I have been praying for wisdom and guidance by the Holy Spirit, and Praising God for this time of growth and suffering, the best I know how, and studying topics from His word about these times in our lives, that He promises will happen, to help us mature in our faith.
I know trials never happen without a purpose from God, and it is beyond my ability to say how much I love you all for everyone's support and prayers at this difficult time.

May God bless you all greatly for your loving, and kind support and prayers.
Your generosity is beyond any words I could express properly.
Seasoned by Grace

continuing to pray - please keep us updated on anything you need - prayer is powerful

 

[Tessa]

Will still be praying.
We are open 24/7

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

continuing to pray - please keep us updated on anything you need - prayer is powerful

Will still be praying.
We are open 24/7

Thank you both so much.
The whole world is in pain right now without God.
So I am so thankful that I have the Lord near me, as I go through this,
Knowing He loves me - PRAISE GOD.

God bless you all for praying for me!

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

I apologize for not being here today, but after a while, there doesn't seem to be much left to be said, about where my life is at.
The pain I'm experiencing is unbearable, but with God's help, I somehow bear up under it.

I came here to the forum to bring God's true meaning of love, and I ask myself, was I wrong about loving God, and loving our brothers and sisters in the way I presented it, or how I tried to love you all. When I go through a difficult time, it's easy to question myself and my motives. I look for sin in my life and any hidden agendas that weren't ever intended by God.
I still believe that LOVE, is one of God's greatest and most beautiful and most powerful gifts to all of mankind, with kindness and tenderness for those hurting, especially, like my brother Christ_empowered, who truly needs to be loved by us all, as he courageously moves through his life to a better place, and to love those who have been hurt by those they trusted, and can know now, that they can be safe here, if we all work together in love and unity.
It's a horrid thing to see and hear a sister or brother, being verbally torn to pieces by a leader in the church, and I pray I never have to be witness to that again in my life.
It's just heartbreaking.

May God bless you all, in His greatest way possible, for your unselfish, kind loving hearts.

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

continuing to pray - please keep us updated on anything you need - prayer is powerful

Truthfrees
Thank you for being so loving and kind.
Please, if you wouldn't mind, pray for my sleep. I don't get much.

God bless you.