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[__ Praise __] (Re)entering society?!?!?!

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I think I figured it out. Jesus and my parents are making it possible for me to be a high functioning albeit labeled individual…

In the more modest mainstream of society. Nothing fancy or deluxe but nice and no longer stressed and oppressed on the fringes of society. And….

Backlash. I should have seen this coming lol 😆

Often not fun…people tend to be cruel and cruelty towards someone with my sort of past and more support than most people…

Makes sense. Ok ✅

I thank God and my long suffering parents for their love mercy and goodness.
 
That’s one lingering thing with recovering from involuntary shock…

I write well now I have a good vocabulary I make new memories well I even now remember things from way back…

Seeing the more obvious in my own life? Took some time. Sigh 😌

Praise God! And…I love my parents. 😀
 
Love thy enemies

By His grace I’ve come to take that command more seriously very recently. I don’t have to understand my enemies or anything….

But it’s a big blessing to pray for my enemies per Jesus’ command and now be blessed with an understanding not only of where they may be coming from but also my situation in a larger social perspective. 😎
 
Ugh 😑

Labels. Psychiatry is probably wicked possibly satanic. Not playing.

At 38 I’m approaching middle age looking surprisingly refreshed. God is Love. Healthy. Smart. Family have more resources now so I can be in society without having to deal with hospitals and other places if confinement and…

My involuntary lobotomy seems to define me in this area. I was 20, a second psych ward at 23. And…

I have a high IQ estimate now. That apparently equals freak in the worlds eyes. Not to play victim….

10 years into knowing Jesus Christ I’ve been forgiven washed and made clean. It’s more about…

Lies. Oppression. Destruction. Slavery.

That’s psychiatry. How is that possibly if God?
 
Dreams come true.

I’m 38, labeled with schizophrenia. Truth? I was a short homely bright and precocious teenager who got ripped to shreds. Jesus must have made intercession on my behalf. I hit genuinely truly saved 10 years ago. For….3 or 4 years before that I was praying and reading but not…I dunno 🤷‍♂️ I’m thankful now .

I’m average height now. Healthy. Apparently I have a high IQ estimate. My long suffering parents and I have reconciled and they seem to see me as who I am now not who I was out there bitter and angry and all that a ripped to shreds pariah.

38. Basically I’m staring at middle age. It looks…ok I think but only because of God’s work in mama life.

I have good skin. I mean…no wrinkles nothing. I was once sickly then sick and prematurely aged. People say I got a laser peel or a deep chemical peel and…

Ugh 😑 so what? I have super rich somewhat distant cousins…they do stuff like that. No shame I guess? But I don’t and can’t really. Definitely not in the budget.

Thankful 🥹 and with gratitude comes the gradual realization….

The broad road is the same as when I was in and of the world headed for destruction. Kids these days…

Are essentially the same as the young set when I was a pill head and such. Some will come to their senses many will straighten up and mellow out and some don’t make it to 25.

And it’s not just the younger set. People in general are remarkably similar. Good bad most somewhere in between. Could I move? I doubt it. Labeled now pushing 40 only my parents to provide resources and enough protection from society to be in society. No felonies no hospitalizations in 15 years now but…

Wherever you go there you are. And this is where I am probably for a while to come. I thank God for His love and mercy. 😎
 
Ugh. Taunting…woke me up midnight and again 3 am. Fun. Lol 😆

All I have on my record is a serious misdemeanor. That’s it. I’ve been off of probation for nearly 6 years now no arrests or anything. I’ve been blessed. The initial charge was a felony carrying 15 years. I did 3 years of uneventful probation and that was it. So…

My concern is that people seem to think they have a right to control me. And they act like I’m in need of commitment to the state hospital. But I’m a voluntary outpatient and I just have occasional counseling and relatively infrequent med checks. So…

My concern is more aggression possibly violence. I dunno 🤷‍♂️ it’s frustrating more than anything else. Overall my life is good and peaceful.
 
Does God have a right to control us ? Did God put governments in place, as a way of control, for some order, so we can live a peaceful life.

It is the lack of control ( self control) that gives us no hope in eternity, God purges us while we are on this earth, and everything around us, is part of that creation He is still doing with us. We have to control our mind, by having that same mind that was in Christ ( speaking as the Father taught Him) we have to do the actions of God ( as Christ, the Son of God did all He saw of the Father.)

For a very brief time ( three and a half years) Christ showed to the world ( in Israel) a quick glimpse of how light does things, in all honesty, openness, helpfulness, giving all understanding and clarity, and not behaving in any unseemly way, whatsoever.

This world ( world of people) responded by getting rid of that light, as Christ offended them. ( they hated Him without a cause) and Jesus showed, if they hated Him, they will also hate you. To live in the same ways, to guard our tongue, to only know what God the Father wants us to say ( hearing Him) and to do, seeing as Jesus did and said, we will shine as lights too, which has usefulness, apart from when the world wants to corrupt in darkness, then you learn you have little place in it too.
 
Thanks 🙏

Worldly explanations fail. Not because I’m amazingly special but because of Jesus.

Truth? The world is sinister and wicked…in often sneaky ways. The college system is part of what destroyed my old life. And now?

The old me was destroyed. People who graduated…are largely all the same. I respect education and all but especially the people I know with a masters degree or above there’s a level of…not similarity so much as true sameness. Maybe Christian colleges are different? I dunno 🤷‍♂️

At 38 I seem to be blessed and settled into a new life of…

Permanent outsider lol 😆 a friend called today. She got Botox and is excited, and I tried to be supportive and…???

Maybe 🤔 I should be thankful that I have more distance from society than most people?
 
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