Seeking God’s Guidance in Love and Relationships

[Tobiasnaceste]

Hello everyone,

I’m 18 years old, and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I really desire to find someone who loves God, follows Him wholeheartedly, and will love me and be loyal. My dream is to have a relationship that lasts for a lifetime, centered on faith. I’ve had the chance to talk to two girls who claimed to be Christian—they read the Bible and presented themselves as believers—but unfortunately, things didn’t work out with either of them.

I’m at a point in my life where I feel a bit lost. I’m trying my best to grow closer to Jesus and live according to His teachings, but when it comes to love and relationships, I’m full of questions. I really want to know what the Bible says about these things. How should I approach finding a partner? What should I do or not do? Is it okay to pray for a partner who looks or acts like someone I know, or is that wrong? I know that sounds like it might be, but I’m asking out of curiosity.

I also wonder if I’m even ready for a relationship yet. I’ve heard people say that maybe I don’t have a godly woman in my life because I’m not yet worthy of one. If that’s the case, how do I prepare myself? How do I know if I’ve met the right person or if there’s someone out there who is my “soulmate”? Should I even be thinking about this at my age, or should I focus on other things?

There are so many questions I have about love, marriage, and God’s plan for my future. I want to have a beautiful Christian family one day, but I also want to walk according to God’s will. What advice do you have for me, and how can I trust God’s timing and purpose for my life in this area?

I’m grateful for any wisdom you can share with me.

Thank you!

 

[Who Me]

also wonder if I’m even ready for a relationship yet. I’ve heard people say that maybe I don’t have a godly woman in my life because I’m not yet worthy of one

That is a cruel thing to say to anyone.
May I suggest that the next time you hear it, that you throw it back asking ' What should I be doing to be worthy of a " godly " woman? '

Two links for you to look at :-https://winteryknight.com/2018/12/15/william-lane-craig-offers-advice-to-christians-considering-marriage-3/

This is the Christian philosopher professors view how Christians should prepare for marriage.
Read it or listen to it and discuss with your churches youth worker.

Try this link:-https://winteryknight.com/2020/08/16/a-lesson-about-men-for-marriage-minded-women-from-the-movie-high-noon-5/

Watching the western ' High Noon ' a preparation for marriage!
Well do watch it and note the reactions of the heroine and the reaction of the X girlfriend.
Any girl who can identify with the X is worthy pursuing, but have nothing to do with those who identify with the selfish shortsighted heroine.

General advice, try to relax and just talk to girls, don't go into a conversation looking to arrange a date, just chat.
You will find that some girls will start looking for you as they enjoy talking with you.
They are the ones that can be asked if they would like to go for a coffee and depending how that goes to another for a date.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

It is a blessing to have a partner in Christ by your side, but if there's none available, and you still have determined to devote your life to God, abandon all thoughts of dating, marriage and children, take a vow of celibacy, and pray to God for discipline and concentration to guard you from temptation. "Celibacy" is not an ugly, antiquated word, singleness is not a shame either, but rather a badge of honor. You can admire a woman for her charm, beauty or wit, but keep your distance, act in a professional and respectful way with good manners, don't get personally involved. The best example of this I can demonstrate to you is the kind of relationship between an artist and his muse, where the woman serves as the source of inspiration and imagination, he loves her, adores her, and creates amazing artworks about her, but never seeks to possess her as his own, because she comes and goes like a wave, she doesn't belong to him, nor him her.

This point of life where you feel lost and clueless is an experience we're all familiar with, it's dubbed "quarter life crisis", and it's a unique modern day challenge of this vascillation between relationship, career and other non-profit personal pursuits of passion. It is written Genesis that "man shall join his wife and the two shall become one flesh", and a common misconception is taking it as mandate instead of a general design, and consequnetly, relationship, marriage, kids, white picket fence, the whole bourgeois shebang becomes an idol. Now it is the center piece of the "prosperity gospel", you've got pastors flaunting their happy family, Christian influencers doling out relationship advice, piles of self help books with a Christian label. These are certain blessings of God, but NOT what our salvation and sanctification rely upon. We're a holy priesthood, called out of this world to serve our Lord and Savior, our ultimate reward is an everlasting life with God in heaven. All these fleeting worldly pleasures and prosperities, especially "love life" are nothing but a distraction. The only relationship we ought to pursue, develop and cherish is the one with God though Jesus.

So my advice is to let the Holy Spirit guide, let Him unveil God's plan for you, concentrate on him and follow through, and in it you'll find joie de vivre - buoyant enjoyment of life. Join a bible study, meditate on God's words, discuss with your peers, pray to God regularly especially before meal, and aslo build a habit of exercise, even just a simple jog or a bike ride. And if you're artistic, listen to some classical music and try to learn playing an instrument, let your soul take flight with the melody. God has so much in store for us, all it takes is a keen eye to discover. Don't dwell on the vile passion from your nether region and let it blind you. You're not a slave of your fleshly desire, Lord Jesus has set you free!

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

Brother Tobiasnaceste, let me tell you a secret. One of the most attractive things to a Christian woman whether they be old or young, is a man who is 100% hard out for God. If you are looking for a christian girl to marry in the future, you must not look for them. Look to God. Ulitize your time in a positive way towards the things of God. Be a light and be active for his kingdom and his glory and you will be fighting those young ladies off with a stick...Jm2c

Yes! Don't wrest control of your fate when it comes to the dating and mating department, leave it to God. If you're husband material, God will fix you up with your Mrs. Right; if not, God will not give you more than you can handle, he has ordained you for a greater purpose, only the devil will distract you with women. "Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife." (1 Cor. 7:27)

 

[Tenchi]

How should I approach finding a partner?

Proverbs 18:22
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD.

Generally, one doesn't find something for which one is not looking. Be wary, then, of those who tell you that God will just drop a godly woman into your lap "when you're ready." You ought to show initiative in locating a godly woman to marry and in making the first move toward a relationship with her. Far too many young men these days are grossly passive, expecting women to take the initiative with them. Such passivity is terribly toxic to marriage.

Obviously, you aren't going to find godly women in local bars and nightclubs. Encountering a woman in a church, unfortunately, won't guarantee that she knows and loves God; however, there's a greater chance this is the case with a woman in a church than with one walking about, nearly nude, on a public beach. Confine your search, then, for a godly woman to those places in which you're most likely to find one.

Also, be a man worthy of a godly woman. If you want a woman who is a lover of God, a holy, joyful, pure woman, wise and loving, be the same yourself.

James 4:2
2 ...You do not have because you do not ask.

Luke 11:9-10
9 And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
10 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.

Ask God for a godly wife. But remember to do so from a life that is holy. God has His fingers in His ears to the prayers of the sinful. He is eager, though, to give to the righteous seeking His will what they request of Him.

Psalm 66:18
18 If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:

1 Peter 3:12
12 For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.

James 5:16
16 ...The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.

1 John 5:14-15
14 This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.
15 And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.

Is it okay to pray for a partner who looks or acts like someone I know, or is that wrong?

Of all the things least important to marriage, looks would be that thing. What will happen to your marriage if you've made your wife's looks an important feature of your interest in her and she contracts a disfiguring disease, or is in a car accident and is badly burned? What if she has three or four children and her curvy shape thickens, losing its curves, as typically happens to mothers? What of the inevitable effects of aging, your outwardly beautiful wife's form sagging, and wrinkling, varicose veins protruding from her legs and so on?

Above all, find a woman who is beautiful within, whose inner beauty increases as her physical form declines, who is increasingly like Jesus though her outward form degenerates, as it must.

I also wonder if I’m even ready for a relationship yet. I’ve heard people say that maybe I don’t have a godly woman in my life because I’m not yet worthy of one. If that’s the case, how do I prepare myself?

You don't - you can't - prepare yourself; God must prepare you. You can't achieve a godly end by means of the powers of your flesh (will, intellect, physical strength).

Romans 7:18
18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh...

Romans 8:8
8 ...those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

Galatians 5:17
17 For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.

You can only produce more of yourself. Only God can make you truly godly. He does so by teaching you to "walk in the Spirit" throughout every day (Galatians 5:16, 25; Romans 8:9-14), consciously and consistently placing your fleshly powers (will, intellect, physical strength) under His control. Is anyone discipling you, teaching you about life in the Spirit? I don't mean the crazy and blasphemous hyper-charismatic stuff - hysterical fits, mindless babbling, miraculous "healings," spirit energy manipulation, toking/drinking/soaking the Spirit, etc. - but what the Bible describes: Spirit conviction, teaching, strengthening, comfort and transformation, identification with Christ, death to Self, submission, and so on (John 16:8; Revelation 2-3; John 14:26; 16:13; 1 Corinthians 2;10-16; Ephesians 3:16; Philippians 2:13; Philippians 4:13; 2 Corinthians 1:3-4; Galatians 5:22-23; 2 Corinthians 3:18, etc.). It is in walking in the Spirit and not just living in him that you become a godly man fit for marriage.

How do I know if I’ve met the right person or if there’s someone out there who is my “soulmate”?

There is no "soul-mate" out there that you must find among the seven billion people on the planet. That's worldly romantic nonsense that leaves men and women alone, frustrated and desperate. The "right person" for marriage is the godly person. Period. Marriage is, at bottom, about a man and a woman reflecting to each other Jesus Christ, being his hands and heart to one another, day-in and day-out, as they raise up the succeeding generation. Marriage is not about finding a soul-mate, which is, really, a self-centered goal that panders to the very sort of selfishness that destroys marriage.

I want to have a beautiful Christian family one day, but I also want to walk according to God’s will.

You have written this statement as though the two things - a beautiful Christian family and walking according to God's will - are in opposition to one another. They aren't. Generally, it is God's will that men and women enter in marriage and raise up the succeeding generation of human beings. He wants this to happen as the husband and wife are walking well with Himself. In fact, marriage can't work as it should unless the married couple are walking well with their Maker.

 

[KV-44-v1]

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Blio's Worldview (a guy i met in Forge of Empires) Can you refute it? (MULTI PART)

PART 1 Blio: "diplomacy is how you can attract attention to several people and make them under your command, its that which you have command granting bonus to you. diplomacy and karma is link. you can have command of lesser of evils but you have less bonus." Me: what are evils? Blio: "its...

christianforums.net

Pls check this out. Thanks!

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD.

Only if that partner is equally yoked in the Lord, who shares the same conviction, values and worldview, and that’s a big if.

 

[MattTheCricketBat]

Been chatting and listening to Christian dating advice on this site called Table recently, you might get something out of it, they do event rooms where people chat about a certain topics relating to dating and relationship and get opinions from all sorts of believers, worth a go.

 

[D2255]

2 Corinthians chapter 6 .Christian people, and non believers are not compadable. Heathen will impede on your spiritual growth. Your values and beliefs could be compromised. Isaiah chapter 65. There are some fake Christian people, who have envy towards those who have Holy Spirit. They will falsey accuse this group of heresy. Because these fake Christian people can't understand deep truth of Gods word, they are jealous and spiteful toward those who have genuine faith and holy Spirit. They have a extent of God's word, but can't understand mystery of God, 1 Corinthians chapter 2. Some people have Spirit of error, and not many have Holy Spirit. I tried to correct couple, and they turned on me, because the truth offended them. My honest advice. It's fine to date opposite sex. Ask them there position on God and there faith. Are they studying sound doctrine or listening to traditions of men. ? If there heathen and won't convert to Christianity, repent and study sound doctrine, walk away. Amos chapter 8. It will be very difficult to find another Christian who has genuine faith and study's sound doctrine. We're in time of famine. There are few hypocrites, and fake Christian's on this forum. False accussers. Take care.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

2 Corinthians chapter 6 .Christian people, and non believers are not compadable. Heathen will impede on your spiritual growth. Your values and beliefs could be compromised. Isaiah chapter 65.

To be realistic, (romantic) love, relationship, marriage, sex, kid, more kids, the whole shebang is not for everyone, it's a worldly vision of salvation and glorification, not God's vision. As a matter of fact, marriage rate and birth rate are at historic low, there're more single adults than married ones, and the top one reason for that is exactly this - no suitable partner available. It's not just the Christians, "Heathens" don't wanna date someone who doesn't share their values either. One pastor said that it's much better to be single and yearning to be coupled than being coupled and yearning to be single, so be prepared for the worst case scenario, that is, being single and celibate for the rest of your life. It may not be your choice, but it may be a choice made for you. After all, most of the prophets, disciples, apostles and lord Jesus himself were single!