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Soulmates

I believe God has given me a soulmate and I don't mean my TV remote control.

I was once engaged to a girl that I didn't really want to marry. I was sat in church one morning thinking, get married, have kids then get divorced. I'd still get to see the kids. Very shameful attitude which I recognised and knew was wrong, given that I saw my mum get divorced 3 times in my early years.

Then in a split second it felt as if someone ripped my stomach out and put a million butterflies. My first experience of severe anxiety. I couldn't look at the girl, we tried to work it through which further compounded my anxiety. This I still carry with me today.

I eventually broke it off. Stopped going to church as well cause I couldn't face God. Did he rip my stomach out and give me severe anxiety that I still have today? I've no idea.

After that any time I tried to get close to a girl and she reciprocated my anxiety went through the roof, what appeared to beautiful now was ugly (the girl) barriers went up and I ran away.

I got back into church a few years later. Same emotions, fears and barriers. There was a certain lady in the church, the belle of the church. She led worship and did the kids work.

By circumstance we got to talking and meeting up. Started seeing each other but I broke it off after 6 weeks. I just couldn't cope with anxiety and it's results. We had agreed to attend a wedding before I broke it off. She rang me to ask if I was still going? I said no and put the phone down.

Then a voice said "that was rude, there was no need for that, phone back say sorry and say you will go"

I did that. When I picked her up I looked at her and thought "Oh you are so beautiful" for the first time in years what was beautiful remained beautiful and to this day still is.

We married 2 years later and are still married today. I love her deeply. I believe God gave her to me, I'm sure she is the only one who could love me like she does. God knew what I needed. She says the same about me.

Without her I would be lost, a fraction of the man that I am today.

So I would say she is my soul mate.

Sorry for the long post.
 
Edward said:
:confused hmm, you're making me think about this...
You can't "choose" who you love, it just kind of happens...
But aren't choices involved? You meet someone nice looking, and want to draw closer to them & get to know them better...so (choose) decide to ask them over/out to accomplish this. Rinse, repeat, and...

And you know it pretty soon after meeting...

Yes, then you realize that you are falling in love with them. But you chose to draw closer to them, right?

Those things you mention: to be faithful, to honor, to protect. If you love your mate, this choice is natural and not difficult...

It is natural and not difficult, but has to involve choices, right? I love her, so choose to be faithful, choose to honor & exalt her in my life...to show and express my love for her, and to build a resume of trust and love...so that she will be stirred in her heart, and love me also...right?

You couldn't NOT love the person you love...

What about...infidelity? If I love her, could I cheat on her? People say yes everyday. (I'm sorry, I won't do it again, I love you & don't want to lose you...da da da)

This is interesting.:chin
Click to expand...
Hi Edward,
Guess I never answered to the above (got an alert this morning).

I've highlighted and underlined 4 sentences. They have to do with this idea of yours that you CHOOSE who you love. I say you don't.

1. You met someone in whom you were interested.
Did you choose to be interested??

2. You ask them over/out to get to know them better.
You ask them over/out BECAUSE you're interested. At this point, you could decide not to, but you're still interested.

3. Then you realize you are falling in love.
Did you choose to fall in love, or did it just happen?


Think of it. Why were you interested in THIS someone? Why not Mary Smith whom you work with every day?
This is what I mean. We are drawn to a particular person when love is involved, we don't choose that person.

Wondering
 
Jethro Bodine said:
The Greek word for this type of love (of the four types) is 'agape'. It is not something you fall into, or occurs naturally. It is the 'love' for another person based solely on the desire for the well being of that person apart from any carnal benefit we derive from that person. It's the 'love' that keeps a spouse committed to their mate

If you are a Christian, agape is God's kind of love in you and is what will urge you to stop and change a tire for the ugly woman on the side of the road, not just the beautiful woman as 'eros' (physical desire) will compel you to do. Anybody with eyes and nerve endings and fleshly appetites can and will have the eros kind of love.

There is little that is noteworthy and noble about 'eros' love, even though fallen man exalts it and parades it around as if there was. 'Eros' love is, generally speaking, the selfish, carnal love of fallen man. It reaches out based on what it can get in return to fulfill some carnal desire. In contrast, 'agape' is the love that reaches out unselfishly without consideration of it's own personal welfare and physical fulfillment. It is the love that motivates righteous suffering. It is the love that God has for mankind and which put Jesus on the cross. That's why it is the signature of the believer. It's God's love in a person.

Marriage has all of the types of love in it. But it is agape that keeps the marriage together. Because it is the love of decision, not carnal feelings. It loves even though it gets nothing in return (if that be the case). It's the love that signifies that you have the Spirit of God in you, because agape is the love that comes from God.
Click to expand...
Beautifully said. I couldn't agree more.
 
Edward said:
Agreed, there is no soulmates. But that doesn't mean it can't be encouraging...what that means is that one can potentially fall in love with anyone if the circumstances permit it.

Someone that you might not look twice at, while on your way to 7-11 might be pretty sweet if you got shipwrecked on an island together.

Love is that powerful. It doesn't have to be a soulmate for you to find love!

Sorry baby but you're not my soulmate so take a hike? Noooo, come on in and have some coffee! :chin:yes
Click to expand...
I'm sorry Edward. How could you dare to say there is no such thing as a soulmate?
Apparently you've never had one.

I also don't agree that you could fall in love with anyone if the circumstances permit it.
What you say about being stranded on an island is called Desperation, not Love.

It is possible to be in love with a person that is not a soulmate.
And it's possible to have a soulmate with whom you feel no eros type of love, but an agape love.

It would be interesting to know what you think Soulmate means.

Wondering
 
Rollo Tamasi said:
I think we can all agree that soul mates are not real.
Anything could interfere with a relationship that could end it.
Soul mates are a dream.
Soul mates are for a while.
Soul mates are never two way.

I'm sorry I started this thread.
It may have given false hope to some people.
There's a reason why we stand alone on judgment day.

But if you can believe that someone is your soul mate for a time, that's a good thing.
Love is always a good thing.
Click to expand...
I'm sorry to hear that you feel soul mates are not real.
If something could interfere with a serious relationship, it means it was never serious.
Kind of like OSAS.
You always said you can't stop loving Jesus. Then how does one stop loving a soul mate? Then it must mean that one was never a soul mate to begin with. Just like one would say that a person was never really saved to begin with or they would never become lost.

Soul mates are for life. The soul of a person does not change.
Soul mates run a two way street. I couldn't think you were my soul mate if you also didn't think I was yours. See? Soul mate means the soul of each can communicate with the other.

Don't be sorry you started this thread. The hope is not false.
And I agree with what you say: Love is always a good thing.

Wondering
 
dirtfarmer said:
dirtfarmer here

There are some things to consider when thinking about the role of men and women. It is my belief that "love" is learned, it is not based on looks, although in our society looks have a lot to do with the beginning of relationships. When I was younger, much younger than I am now, I was always amazed by the fact that some of the attractive females lost some of their attractiveness when you got to know them and some that was not as attractive, as to their looks, but after you got to know them, they seems to be more attractive.

Where there is much forgiven, there is much love, is something that all married people need to understand. It is not always, "what can or have you done for me" that expresses love, but how and what you forgive the other, that expresses love. We learn this from Christ: He loved us when we were unlovable.

Some men have no substance to them, they just want a female with looks and don't care about their personality. Of course there are some females that only go for looks only.

If you have a general understanding of God's purpose for the relationship between male and female, then you have a different outlook on humanity. Eve possessed the mirrored opposite of Adam. In other words, she completed him. She possessed the qualities, responsibilities, and attributes that Adam lacked. She, in other words, was Adam's savior in that it was of the "seed of woman that Christ was born.

It is true that even though Adam was created first, he received salvation through the seed of Eve. His salvation came through the seed of woman, even though he was not an offspring of a woman.
Click to expand...
Great post. I never considered about Adam and Eve.
But how could I disagree!!

Wondering
 
wondering said:
Philia and eros.
Click to expand...

I'm going off topic here but as love has been mentioned I can't help myself.

If memory serves me there are 4 main types of love in the Greek. They are as follows.

Only 3 appear in the N.T.

agape, phileo, storge, and eros.

Agape - Its not based on feelings but an act of our will.
Eros - sexual/passionate love (this is not used in the N.T.)
Storge - natural love/affection for someone, like families.
Phileo - to have an affection or fondness for someone a strong bond with someone else.

Now what I find interesting is the conversation between Jesus & Peter. Jesus asks Peter 3 times if he loves him.
3 times Peter replies yes. But the first 2 times Jesus asks do you Agape me? Peter replies with I Phileo you.

For the those two questions after Peters response Jesus replies "Feed my lambs, tend my sheep"

The 3rd time Jesus asks do you Phileo me? Peter is now ticked off/distressed. Yes I Phileo you.
Jesus comes down the level of Peter and more or less says is our bond strong? Knowing that it is.

Then Jesus says

John 21:18-19
“I tell you the truth, when you were young, you were able to do as you liked; you dressed yourself and went wherever you wanted to go. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and others will dress you and take you where you don’t want to go.” Jesus said this to let him know by what kind of death he would glorify God. Then Jesus told him, “Follow me.”

3 times Peter denied Jesus. 3 times Jesus asks him do you love me. The first 2 Agape love and the last one Phileo love. But I reckon Jesus was preparing Peter. Soon Jesus was going back home and Peter in a sense was to take over the mantle. He was going to from Phileo to Agape. Agape for Jesus and Agape for those

For God so Agape the world he gave his only son, to die for us.
We know based on Jesus prayer in garden that his feelings and emotions were all over the place. "Father if it's possible, if there is any other way please let this cup pass me by"

"Not my way but yours"

If we are to have an enriched Christian life, obedient to the voice of God and have fellowship with other Christians, ww need to walk in exercise all three kinds of love. We need agape love because some of the things that God requires of us are not fun or easy, but need to be done. We need to have phileo love because we need true friends to stand with us, people who are emotionally connected to us and with whom we can share our deepest thoughts and feelings. Lastly, we Christians need to have storge love between us, a deep family affection that comforts us and helps us feel connected to all our spiritual family.

Sorry if I've gone off topic
 
Wrg1405 said:
I'm going off topic here but as love has been mentioned I can't help myself.

If memory serves me there are 4 main types of love in the Greek. They are as follows.

Only 3 appear in the N.T.

agape, phileo, storge, and eros.

Agape - Its not based on feelings but an act of our will.
Eros - sexual/passionate love (this is not used in the N.T.)
Storge - natural love/affection for someone, like families.
Phileo - to have an affection or fondness for someone a strong bond with someone else.

Now what I find interesting is the conversation between Jesus & Peter. Jesus asks Peter 3 times if he loves him.
3 times Peter replies yes. But the first 2 times Jesus asks do you Agape me? Peter replies with I Phileo you.

For the those two questions after Peters response Jesus replies "Feed my lambs, tend my sheep"

The 3rd time Jesus asks do you Phileo me? Peter is now ticked off/distressed. Yes I Phileo you.
Jesus comes down the level of Peter and more or less says is our bond strong? Knowing that it is.

Then Jesus says

John 21:18-19
“I tell you the truth, when you were young, you were able to do as you liked; you dressed yourself and went wherever you wanted to go. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and others will dress you and take you where you don’t want to go.” Jesus said this to let him know by what kind of death he would glorify God. Then Jesus told him, “Follow me.”

3 times Peter denied Jesus. 3 times Jesus asks him do you love me. The first 2 Agape love and the last one Phileo love. But I reckon Jesus was preparing Peter. Soon Jesus was going back home and Peter in a sense was to take over the mantle. He was going to from Phileo to Agape. Agape for Jesus and Agape for those

For God so Agape the world he gave his only son, to die for us.
We know based on Jesus prayer in garden that his feelings and emotions were all over the place. "Father if it's possible, if there is any other way please let this cup pass me by"

"Not my way but yours"

If we are to have an enriched Christian life, obedient to the voice of God and have fellowship with other Christians, ww need to walk in exercise all three kinds of love. We need agape love because some of the things that God requires of us are not fun or easy, but need to be done. We need to have phileo love because we need true friends to stand with us, people who are emotionally connected to us and with whom we can share our deepest thoughts and feelings. Lastly, we Christians need to have storge love between us, a deep family affection that comforts us and helps us feel connected to all our spiritual family.

Sorry if I've gone off topic
Click to expand...
Not off topic. You speak of love perfectly.
I can only add that when I read John 21:18-19 the first few times, it would bring tears, thinking of all the Apostles and the first Christians would have to go through for their faith.

As God, Jesus knew the future most of the time when God Father allowed it.
As a human, He was saddened by human nature and all that He knew would transpire, including the death of Peter.

Luke 19:39-44
Some pharisees had rebuked Jesus because His disciples were making to much joyous noise upon His entering Jerusalem on Holy Week.
Jesus replied that if the disciples were quiet, the very stones would shout.
Then as Jesus approached Jerusalem, He wept because He knew the nature of man and what would become of Jerusalem (in 70AD).

 
wondering said:
Not off topic. You speak of love perfectly.
I can only add that when I read John 21:18-19 the first few times, it would bring tears, thinking of all the Apostles and the first Christians would have to go through for their faith.

As God, Jesus knew the future most of the time when God Father allowed it.
As a human, He was saddened by human nature and all that He knew would transpire, including the death of Peter.

Luke 19:39-44
Some pharisees had rebuked Jesus because His disciples were making to much joyous noise upon His entering Jerusalem on Holy Week.
Jesus replied that if the disciples were quiet, the very stones would shout.
Then as Jesus approached Jerusalem, He wept because He knew the nature of man and what would become of Jerusalem (in 70AD).

Click to expand...
Well added.

I think a lot of Christians think that Jesus whilst on earth he knew everything as God himself does. He took on human form.

Jesus I think was led by the Holy Spirit to do the will of the Father. The Holy Spirit descended upon him. He was led by the Holy Spirit.

That's why he had to go back. So that the Holy Spirit would come and be in us as he was with Jesus.

Jesus walked in that Agape love. We can do the same, we should seek that Agape love for us with God, get to grips with it and proclaim that truth. If we can then we can walk in that Agape love for others.
 
Wrg1405 said:
I'm going off topic here but as love has been mentioned I can't help myself.

If memory serves me there are 4 main types of love in the Greek. They are as follows.

Only 3 appear in the N.T.

agape, phileo, storge, and eros.

Agape - Its not based on feelings but an act of our will.
Eros - sexual/passionate love (this is not used in the N.T.)
Storge - natural love/affection for someone, like families.
Phileo - to have an affection or fondness for someone a strong bond with someone else.

Now what I find interesting is the conversation between Jesus & Peter. Jesus asks Peter 3 times if he loves him.
3 times Peter replies yes. But the first 2 times Jesus asks do you Agape me? Peter replies with I Phileo you.

For the those two questions after Peters response Jesus replies "Feed my lambs, tend my sheep"

The 3rd time Jesus asks do you Phileo me? Peter is now ticked off/distressed. Yes I Phileo you.
Jesus comes down the level of Peter and more or less says is our bond strong? Knowing that it is.

Then Jesus says

John 21:18-19
“I tell you the truth, when you were young, you were able to do as you liked; you dressed yourself and went wherever you wanted to go. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and others will dress you and take you where you don’t want to go.” Jesus said this to let him know by what kind of death he would glorify God. Then Jesus told him, “Follow me.”

3 times Peter denied Jesus. 3 times Jesus asks him do you love me. The first 2 Agape love and the last one Phileo love. But I reckon Jesus was preparing Peter. Soon Jesus was going back home and Peter in a sense was to take over the mantle. He was going to from Phileo to Agape. Agape for Jesus and Agape for those

For God so Agape the world he gave his only son, to die for us.
We know based on Jesus prayer in garden that his feelings and emotions were all over the place. "Father if it's possible, if there is any other way please let this cup pass me by"

"Not my way but yours"

If we are to have an enriched Christian life, obedient to the voice of God and have fellowship with other Christians, ww need to walk in exercise all three kinds of love. We need agape love because some of the things that God requires of us are not fun or easy, but need to be done. We need to have phileo love because we need true friends to stand with us, people who are emotionally connected to us and with whom we can share our deepest thoughts and feelings. Lastly, we Christians need to have storge love between us, a deep family affection that comforts us and helps us feel connected to all our spiritual family.

Sorry if I've gone off topic
Click to expand...
Ah. The Four Loves....by C.S. Lewis......very good book.
 
Rollo Tamasi said:
sm10.fw_.png
Click to expand...

Rollo, sorry if I've hijacked your post.
 
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