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Soulmates

KaichosMan said:
Sorry to bring physics into this, but between two objects travelling in the same direction at the same speed, there can be no friction. I think that goes for relationships, too
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Soulmates go beyond logic and reason.
You need to find one.
Find your bird of paradise, the Phoenix in your life, and forever defy the science you are trying to put into your spiritual life.
 
I don't believe in "soul mates." The idea that romantic attraction+our society's concept of "love" should the basis for marriage is a fairly recent development.

I'm not saying that we should go back to arranged marriages, or that love shouldn't be involved, or that people should always endure painful marriages, but...marriage, until recently, has been a serious contract, an institution. Heterosexual, hopefully life long marriages produce children who are then raised to be the next generation...hopefully, the family unit does a good job, and these kids turn out to be reasonably productive, law abiding citizens.

I look at my parents...they're coming close to 40 years of marriage. They'd been married 7ish years by the time I came around. They had serious conflict when I was younger, for a while. Most people would have bailed, at least in today's America. They stuck with it, because they're dedicated to each other and to marriage as a concept, a sign of genuine adulthood. Now, their combined efforts have paid off...they live comfortably, have the respect of the community, and although I wasn't productive and law abiding (a lot went into that, btw...), I am now, and I have their support.

So...yeah...my parents don't qualify as "soul mates," but they love each other in a way that made it possible to endure very, very rough seasons in their marriage. I think that's true of a lot of people in long term, successful marriages...ups and downs, sickness and health, stick with it even when you love the other person, but don't necessarily like them.

Me? Well, I'm exiting the gay role, lol. I have a lot of work to do just to get in society at a reasonably acceptable level. Hopefully, I'll get there (I may have to move...). In the unlikely event God decides to bless me with a lady companion, I probably won't look for a "soul mate" so much as someone I can build a decent life with and stick with over the long haul. At this point, I'd need the lady friend to be Christian, too....marriage seems hard enough when you're saved...I can't imagine making something work with an un-believer.
 
Christ_empowered said:
I don't believe in "soul mates." The idea that romantic attraction+our society's concept of "love" should the basis for marriage is a fairly recent development.

I'm not saying that we should go back to arranged marriages, or that love shouldn't be involved, or that people should always endure painful marriages, but...marriage, until recently, has been a serious contract, an institution. Heterosexual, hopefully life long marriages produce children who are then raised to be the next generation...hopefully, the family unit does a good job, and these kids turn out to be reasonably productive, law abiding citizens.

I look at my parents...they're coming close to 40 years of marriage. They'd been married 7ish years by the time I came around. They had serious conflict when I was younger, for a while. Most people would have bailed, at least in today's America. They stuck with it, because they're dedicated to each other and to marriage as a concept, a sign of genuine adulthood. Now, their combined efforts have paid off...they live comfortably, have the respect of the community, and although I wasn't productive and law abiding (a lot went into that, btw...), I am now, and I have their support.

So...yeah...my parents don't qualify as "soul mates," but they love each other in a way that made it possible to endure very, very rough seasons in their marriage. I think that's true of a lot of people in long term, successful marriages...ups and downs, sickness and health, stick with it even when you love the other person, but don't necessarily like them.

Me? Well, I'm exiting the gay role, lol. I have a lot of work to do just to get in society at a reasonably acceptable level. Hopefully, I'll get there (I may have to move...). In the unlikely event God decides to bless me with a lady companion, I probably won't look for a "soul mate" so much as someone I can build a decent life with and stick with over the long haul. At this point, I'd need the lady friend to be Christian, too....marriage seems hard enough when you're saved...I can't imagine making something work with an un-believer.
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Is a soulmate the person you marry?
Can it be much more?
We discussed this early on in this thread.
 
Oh come now, good Brothers & Sisters...is love a choice?

I believe that the tone of the thread is that...soul mates are it...divinely arranged perhaps.

If that's the case, then no, love is not a choice but more of a predestined thing.

But all of you who're married, or have been, think about it...you know love is a choice! I was married for 26 yrs. Did I make choices? You bet I did. To be faithful, to honor her, to protect her, to focus my love onto her alone...yep-pers, love is a choice.

Does anyone have an example which would prove me wrong?
 
Rollo Tamasi said:
Is a soulmate the person you marry?
Can it be much more?
We discussed this early on in this thread.
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The person you marry may be your soulmate but not necessarily.
Some persons that get married don't even love each other, let alone be soulmates.
Look at the divorce rate.
 
Edward said:
Oh come now, good Brothers & Sisters...is love a choice?

I believe that the tone of the thread is that...soul mates are it...divinely arranged perhaps.

If that's the case, then no, love is not a choice but more of a predestined thing.

But all of you who're married, or have been, think about it...you know love is a choice! I was married for 26 yrs. Did I make choices? You bet I did. To be faithful, to honor her, to protect her, to focus my love onto her alone...yep-pers, love is a choice.

Does anyone have an example which would prove me wrong?
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When love is a choice, it's not real, true love.
You can't "choose" who you love, it just kind of happens. And you know it pretty soon after meeting.
Those things you mention: to be faithful, to honor, to protect. If you love your mate, this choice is natural and not difficult. These can be choices, but loving that person has to come naturally and is not a choice. You couldn't NOT love the person you love.
 
wondering said:
When love is a choice, it's not real, true love.
You can't "choose" who you love, it just kind of happens. And you know it pretty soon after meeting.
Those things you mention: to be faithful, to honor, to protect. If you love your mate, this choice is natural and not difficult. These can be choices, but loving that person has to come naturally and is not a choice. You couldn't NOT love the person you love.
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Do you realize this last statement is OSAS?
 
Rollo Tamasi said:
You is doin' an awful lot of thinkin'
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stressed-woman-thinking-too-hard-steam-coming-out-up-head-portrait-young-grey-wall-background-face-expression-emotion-59189604.jpg
 
wondering said:
When love is a choice, it's not real, true love.
You can't "choose" who you love, it just kind of happens. And you know it pretty soon after meeting.
Those things you mention: to be faithful, to honor, to protect. If you love your mate, this choice is natural and not difficult. These can be choices, but loving that person has to come naturally and is not a choice. You couldn't NOT love the person you love.
Click to expand...

:confused hmm, you're making me think about this...
You can't "choose" who you love, it just kind of happens...
But aren't choices involved? You meet someone nice looking, and want to draw closer to them & get to know them better...so (choose) decide to ask them over/out to accomplish this. Rinse, repeat, and...

And you know it pretty soon after meeting...

Yes, then you realize that you are falling in love with them. But you chose to draw closer to them, right?

Those things you mention: to be faithful, to honor, to protect. If you love your mate, this choice is natural and not difficult...

It is natural and not difficult, but has to involve choices, right? I love her, so choose to be faithful, choose to honor & exalt her in my life...to show and express my love for her, and to build a resume of trust and love...so that she will be stirred in her heart, and love me also...right?

You couldn't NOT love the person you love...

What about...infidelity? If I love her, could I cheat on her? People say yes everyday. (I'm sorry, I won't do it again, I love you & don't want to lose you...da da da)

This is interesting.:chin
 
I think we can all agree that soul mates are not real.
Anything could interfere with a relationship that could end it.
Soul mates are a dream.
Soul mates are for a while.
Soul mates are never two way.

I'm sorry I started this thread.
It may have given false hope to some people.
There's a reason why we stand alone on judgment day.

But if you can believe that someone is your soul mate for a time, that's a good thing.
Love is always a good thing.
 
wondering said:
When love is a choice, it's not real, true love.
You can't "choose" who you love, it just kind of happens. And you know it pretty soon after meeting.
Those things you mention: to be faithful, to honor, to protect. If you love your mate, this choice is natural and not difficult. These can be choices, but loving that person has to come naturally and is not a choice. You couldn't NOT love the person you love.
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Which of the four loves are you referring to?
 
dirtfarmer here

There are some things to consider when thinking about the role of men and women. It is my belief that "love" is learned, it is not based on looks, although in our society looks have a lot to do with the beginning of relationships. When I was younger, much younger than I am now, I was always amazed by the fact that some of the attractive females lost some of their attractiveness when you got to know them and some that was not as attractive, as to their looks, but after you got to know them, they seems to be more attractive.

Where there is much forgiven, there is much love, is something that all married people need to understand. It is not always, "what can or have you done for me" that expresses love, but how and what you forgive the other, that expresses love. We learn this from Christ: He loved us when we were unlovable.

Some men have no substance to them, they just want a female with looks and don't care about their personality. Of course there are some females that only go for looks only.

If you have a general understanding of God's purpose for the relationship between male and female, then you have a different outlook on humanity. Eve possessed the mirrored opposite of Adam. In other words, she completed him. She possessed the qualities, responsibilities, and attributes that Adam lacked. She, in other words, was Adam's savior in that it was of the "seed of woman that Christ was born.

It is true that even though Adam was created first, he received salvation through the seed of Eve. His salvation came through the seed of woman, even though he was not an offspring of a woman.
 
Rollo Tamasi said:
I think we can all agree that soul mates are not real.
Anything could interfere with a relationship that could end it.
Soul mates are a dream.
Soul mates are for a while.
Soul mates are never two way.

I'm sorry I started this thread.
It may have given false hope to some people.
There's a reason why we stand alone on judgment day.

But if you can believe that someone is your soul mate for a time, that's a good thing.
Love is always a good thing.
Click to expand...

Agreed, there is no soulmates. But that doesn't mean it can't be encouraging...what that means is that one can potentially fall in love with anyone if the circumstances permit it.

Someone that you might not look twice at, while on your way to 7-11 might be pretty sweet if you got shipwrecked on an island together.

Love is that powerful. It doesn't have to be a soulmate for you to find love!

Sorry baby but you're not my soulmate so take a hike? Noooo, come on in and have some coffee! :chin:yes
 
dirtfarmer said:
It is not always, "what can or have you done for me" that expresses love, but how and what you forgive the other, that expresses love. We learn this from Christ: He loved us when we were unlovable.
Click to expand...
The Greek word for this type of love (of the four types) is 'agape'. It is not something you fall into, or occurs naturally. It is the 'love' for another person based solely on the desire for the well being of that person apart from any carnal benefit we derive from that person. It's the 'love' that keeps a spouse committed to their mate

If you are a Christian, agape is God's kind of love in you and is what will urge you to stop and change a tire for the ugly woman on the side of the road, not just the beautiful woman as 'eros' (physical desire) will compel you to do. Anybody with eyes and nerve endings and fleshly appetites can and will have the eros kind of love.

There is little that is noteworthy and noble about 'eros' love, even though fallen man exalts it and parades it around as if there was. 'Eros' love is, generally speaking, the selfish, carnal love of fallen man. It reaches out based on what it can get in return to fulfill some carnal desire. In contrast, 'agape' is the love that reaches out unselfishly without consideration of it's own personal welfare and physical fulfillment. It is the love that motivates righteous suffering. It is the love that God has for mankind and which put Jesus on the cross. That's why it is the signature of the believer. It's God's love in a person.

Marriage has all of the types of love in it. But it is agape that keeps the marriage together. Because it is the love of decision, not carnal feelings. It loves even though it gets nothing in return (if that be the case). It's the love that signifies that you have the Spirit of God in you, because agape is the love that comes from God.
 
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