The All New "Great Quotes" Thread!

[Vince]

If you get hurt and miss work, it won't hurt to miss work.

Yogi Berra

 

[Vince]

"She's got the prettiest eyes. They remind you of a newborn calf."

Chester, on Gunsmoke

 

[Caroline H]

“The formula for a happy marriage? It's the same as the one for living in California: when you find a fault, don't dwell on it†- Jay Trachman

 

[Vince]

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
--Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949







You do realize that they were right.

 

[seekandlisten]

The difference between Atheists and Theists is that one has actually read the bible while the other only believes they have. - Unknown

 

[Vince]

"Haven't you ever felt the love that a man only feels one time in his life for a woman?

Sure, dozens of times."

From the TV show, Hogan's Heroes

 

[Vince]

"It would take two of him to be simple-minded."

Miss Kitty, on Gunsmoke

 

[Theofilus]

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller

 

[Oats]

Conscience is the only mirror that doesn't flatter-Unknown

 

[Theofilus]

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Carl Zwanzig

 

[Vince]

"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances." -- Dr. Lee DeForest, Inventor of TV

 

[Caroline H]

"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
-- Flip Wilson

 

[Theofilus]

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
Burt Bacharach

 

[Vince]

The definition of hatred: swallowing poison in order to kill your enemy.

 

[Theofilus]

They have the Internet on computers now???
Homer Simpson

 

[jasoncran]

never meddle in the affairs of dragons as you are crunchy and taste good with catsup

 

[Vince]

"Time is a-wasting, Sugar Pie! Let us wed! For those dreadful crinkle-puckers of the night are starting to mess with my sleep!"

Hildegarde Hamhocker

 

[Theofilus]

If your enemy takes a piece of your pizza, offer him two.

-Jonathan Sperry (Gavin McLeod) in The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry

 

[l'Chante]

I don’t have an enemy big enough to offer him my pizza. Maybe a knuckle sandwich?

 

[sherri2]

It's either me or the wallpaper. One of us has to go.


Oscar Wilde on his deathbed