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The All New "Great Quotes" Thread!

If you get hurt and miss work, it won't hurt to miss work.

Yogi Berra
 
"She's got the prettiest eyes. They remind you of a newborn calf."

Chester, on Gunsmoke
 
“The formula for a happy marriage? It's the same as the one for living in California: when you find a fault, don't dwell on it†- Jay Trachman
 
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
--Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949







You do realize that they were right.
 
The difference between Atheists and Theists is that one has actually read the bible while the other only believes they have. - Unknown
 
"Haven't you ever felt the love that a man only feels one time in his life for a woman?

Sure, dozens of times."

From the TV show, Hogan's Heroes
 
"It would take two of him to be simple-minded."

Miss Kitty, on Gunsmoke
 
Conscience is the only mirror that doesn't flatter-Unknown
 
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Carl Zwanzig
 
"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances." -- Dr. Lee DeForest, Inventor of TV
 
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
-- Flip Wilson
 
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
Burt Bacharach
 
The definition of hatred: swallowing poison in order to kill your enemy.
 
never meddle in the affairs of dragons as you are crunchy and taste good with catsup
 
"Time is a-wasting, Sugar Pie! Let us wed! For those dreadful crinkle-puckers of the night are starting to mess with my sleep!"

Hildegarde Hamhocker
 
If your enemy takes a piece of your pizza, offer him two.

-Jonathan Sperry (Gavin McLeod) in The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry
 
I don’t have an enemy big enough to offer him my pizza. Maybe a knuckle sandwich?
 
It's either me or the wallpaper. One of us has to go.


Oscar Wilde on his deathbed
 
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