Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,241
- 10,721
That's what the shrinks apparently consider me. Its a long story, but...basically, instead of helping me, shrinks destroyed me, before I was even old enough to drink. Now, I've recovered. I got saved 3 years 11 months ago, and now I'm suddenly healthy, bright eyed, socially skilled, remarkably normal, etc.
I'm still considered a "trouble maker," and not only do shrinks clearly despise "trouble makers," people in my neighborhood do, too. They also seem to know an awful lot about my diagnoses, "treatment," the "opinions" of the counselors+shrinks from back then, on and on it goes.
I read about it, and shrinks and other mental health "professionals" sometimes do this. Its not just some anti-psychiatry smear campaign; this stuff happens. Its basically a bunch of "professionals" getting other people involved to "keep that f@ggot in line," as my neighbors have yelled at me on more than one occasion.
They yell about prison, they yell about jail; they yell about getting my parents fired from their (state) jobs. "I don't care if he has Schizophrenia, he needs to be in prison!" FYI: my actual diagnosis is Bipolar I. An ex-shrink had me charged with a felony. My parents hired a lawyer, I now have a (serious) misdemeanor and probation to go with it.
To put this into context, this is a small, southern town. Its considered "conservative," but really, the county as a whole has a high crime rate, drug abuse rate, teenagers having babies, lots of poverty, and seedy local politics. Basically, I'm saying there's lots of hypocrisy and general nastiness, more so than in a lot of places that don't put up "conservative" facades.
I'm blessed because my parents have forgiven me for who I was+what I did and have taken me in. I live with them in a comfortable, good house. I even have a decent car for my own use.
There's all kindsa issues on the surface--social class, the homosexuality factor, "mental patient"-stigma, etc.--but at the core it seems to be about control. I'm expected to know my "place in society," which has apparently been determined by "professionals" who never cared 1 bit about what I wanted or my parents wanted for me. They took $$$ and ruined my life and ripped our family to shreds. Thanks, Mental Health, Inc. Thanks a lot.
I've brought this up, bits and pieces, the whole thing, etc., a number of times, but now it just gets --tiring--. I mean, physically, when I'm in my room, windows closed, and that one set of neighbors is deliberately yelling loud enough for me to hear, that's bad. They sometimes have people over, and they'll get in the yard at night and yell stuff. My parents' room is upstairs on the other side of the house, so they don't hear it, usually. Once, this one dude, who is forever messing with me, was laughing loudly as possible, like a crazed hyena or something, and my parents noticed that. I seized the opportunity to tell them that he is forever messing with me. I don't think they --get it-- , yet.
Please pray for my parents+me. When people first started yelling about getting my people fired from their (long term, state) jobs, I didn't take it seriously. I was floating through, hadn't gone through the court case yet, hadn't recovered from all the shock+everything else the shrinks from back then did to me. la di da di da di da, you know?
That was --years-- ago, and its revved up again. My mom's got one foot out the door with retirement, and my dad's not far behind her. There's also the issue of what is wrong with this situation, you know? I lived for about 1 year in a small town in a neighboring state. No big deal. Except, looking back, I kinda think some people told people there (at the private, Pentecostal rehab place, later my land lady) some things about me that shouldn't have been shared with anyone. Long story, but I"m just now piecing it together, and...yeah. I think they found out where I was living and got some of my info. over there. Can't prove anything, but I"m fairly certain it happened.
So, I'm not shaking with fear or anything, but I am concerned. My parents worked very hard at their jobs for decades, and now these people 'round here are talking about getting them fired, and that's just the people in the neighborhood. This is a small, increasingly rough little town. I don't doubt--now that I've recovered-- that people cannot stand me living in freedom, with my people. They also don't like other parts of God's work in my life, such as the good physical health (I even have beautiful skin), the bright eyes, the...the transformation, basically. They want me sickly, dead eyed, ugly, poor+vulnerable, just like I was in the years right after the 1st hospitalization, age 20.
OK. Please pray for my parents+me, and for the people in this neighborhood. See, now and then they'll yell out about "the DOCTORS say..." and "the DOCTORS are gonna..." and "his PUBLIC DEFENDER..." and stuff like that. Its all about control. People have been saying that I have a felony, and now they seem angry that I"m not locked up. What would/will they do if they actually...I dunno...do a --background check-- and google it and see that I didn't get a felony? What are they gonna do when the doctors+friends can't get my people fired, or "keep him in line" ? See where I'm going with this?
I also praise God for His goodness. My people didn't have to hire a lawyer. Had they not hired him for the bond hearing, I would have just cooled my jets in jail and then gone off somewhere terrible, in all likelihood. My parents are --willfully-- oblivious to the whole thing, although I'm beginning to think they sense something, know something, even if they have yet to say --anything-- to me. I can tell because they went house hunting a while back and even though my dad said "well, I guess we'll wait a 6 years till the mortgage is paid off completely," I have my doubts about all that.
I've written more than I had intended. I just get frustrated. Lately, I've started getting more upset--a bit angry, more like just fed up--than scared. I guess that's a good thing? Its a change, at any rate. Not that I'll do anything about it, I know better, but my internal reaction to the whole thing is shifting.
OK. Thanks for the prayers. Replies are --always-- appreciated, too.
I'm still considered a "trouble maker," and not only do shrinks clearly despise "trouble makers," people in my neighborhood do, too. They also seem to know an awful lot about my diagnoses, "treatment," the "opinions" of the counselors+shrinks from back then, on and on it goes.
I read about it, and shrinks and other mental health "professionals" sometimes do this. Its not just some anti-psychiatry smear campaign; this stuff happens. Its basically a bunch of "professionals" getting other people involved to "keep that f@ggot in line," as my neighbors have yelled at me on more than one occasion.
They yell about prison, they yell about jail; they yell about getting my parents fired from their (state) jobs. "I don't care if he has Schizophrenia, he needs to be in prison!" FYI: my actual diagnosis is Bipolar I. An ex-shrink had me charged with a felony. My parents hired a lawyer, I now have a (serious) misdemeanor and probation to go with it.
To put this into context, this is a small, southern town. Its considered "conservative," but really, the county as a whole has a high crime rate, drug abuse rate, teenagers having babies, lots of poverty, and seedy local politics. Basically, I'm saying there's lots of hypocrisy and general nastiness, more so than in a lot of places that don't put up "conservative" facades.
I'm blessed because my parents have forgiven me for who I was+what I did and have taken me in. I live with them in a comfortable, good house. I even have a decent car for my own use.
There's all kindsa issues on the surface--social class, the homosexuality factor, "mental patient"-stigma, etc.--but at the core it seems to be about control. I'm expected to know my "place in society," which has apparently been determined by "professionals" who never cared 1 bit about what I wanted or my parents wanted for me. They took $$$ and ruined my life and ripped our family to shreds. Thanks, Mental Health, Inc. Thanks a lot.
I've brought this up, bits and pieces, the whole thing, etc., a number of times, but now it just gets --tiring--. I mean, physically, when I'm in my room, windows closed, and that one set of neighbors is deliberately yelling loud enough for me to hear, that's bad. They sometimes have people over, and they'll get in the yard at night and yell stuff. My parents' room is upstairs on the other side of the house, so they don't hear it, usually. Once, this one dude, who is forever messing with me, was laughing loudly as possible, like a crazed hyena or something, and my parents noticed that. I seized the opportunity to tell them that he is forever messing with me. I don't think they --get it-- , yet.
Please pray for my parents+me. When people first started yelling about getting my people fired from their (long term, state) jobs, I didn't take it seriously. I was floating through, hadn't gone through the court case yet, hadn't recovered from all the shock+everything else the shrinks from back then did to me. la di da di da di da, you know?
That was --years-- ago, and its revved up again. My mom's got one foot out the door with retirement, and my dad's not far behind her. There's also the issue of what is wrong with this situation, you know? I lived for about 1 year in a small town in a neighboring state. No big deal. Except, looking back, I kinda think some people told people there (at the private, Pentecostal rehab place, later my land lady) some things about me that shouldn't have been shared with anyone. Long story, but I"m just now piecing it together, and...yeah. I think they found out where I was living and got some of my info. over there. Can't prove anything, but I"m fairly certain it happened.
So, I'm not shaking with fear or anything, but I am concerned. My parents worked very hard at their jobs for decades, and now these people 'round here are talking about getting them fired, and that's just the people in the neighborhood. This is a small, increasingly rough little town. I don't doubt--now that I've recovered-- that people cannot stand me living in freedom, with my people. They also don't like other parts of God's work in my life, such as the good physical health (I even have beautiful skin), the bright eyes, the...the transformation, basically. They want me sickly, dead eyed, ugly, poor+vulnerable, just like I was in the years right after the 1st hospitalization, age 20.
OK. Please pray for my parents+me, and for the people in this neighborhood. See, now and then they'll yell out about "the DOCTORS say..." and "the DOCTORS are gonna..." and "his PUBLIC DEFENDER..." and stuff like that. Its all about control. People have been saying that I have a felony, and now they seem angry that I"m not locked up. What would/will they do if they actually...I dunno...do a --background check-- and google it and see that I didn't get a felony? What are they gonna do when the doctors+friends can't get my people fired, or "keep him in line" ? See where I'm going with this?
I also praise God for His goodness. My people didn't have to hire a lawyer. Had they not hired him for the bond hearing, I would have just cooled my jets in jail and then gone off somewhere terrible, in all likelihood. My parents are --willfully-- oblivious to the whole thing, although I'm beginning to think they sense something, know something, even if they have yet to say --anything-- to me. I can tell because they went house hunting a while back and even though my dad said "well, I guess we'll wait a 6 years till the mortgage is paid off completely," I have my doubts about all that.
I've written more than I had intended. I just get frustrated. Lately, I've started getting more upset--a bit angry, more like just fed up--than scared. I guess that's a good thing? Its a change, at any rate. Not that I'll do anything about it, I know better, but my internal reaction to the whole thing is shifting.
OK. Thanks for the prayers. Replies are --always-- appreciated, too.
