Christ_empowered
Member
first the very Good! God has blessed my parents and me. they're good to me, I try to be good to them, and...yeah. yeah.
bad: mama had me run out and get cat food and some other stuff. she feeds all these cats who come up to the yard hungry. anyway...I went to a discount place in the small city where I live, and...-tension- . I know, it sounds...crazy...but its people I don't know, people I don't think I've ever even crossed paths with, who seem to be...vocal? its gotten better. when I first moved home about 10 years ago, I was afraid some dudes I did not know were about to beat me up...intimidation was a big, big part of my experience, socially, for most of my life. not surprisingly, I'm somewhat reclusive.
but yeah. nothing that bad, this time, but obvious tension...then I got up to the register and it really seemed like the cashier was rushing me out, like...going a good bit faster than usual, but not impolite or anything. and...and...
let me count the ways my pre-Jesus life was ruined: drugs, psychiatry, HIV/AIDS, severe brain damage, electroshock, criminal charges, poverty, family problems...
now? At 38...I apparently have a "high IQ estimate" and I'm healthy and I just have a (serious) misdemeanor on my record (crazy thing: even a serious misdemeanor beats a relatively minor felony...go figure...), my family is good to me, I live a modest, decent lifestyle, and...
on and on. God is Love. God is Good. Was it...all my fault? I dunno. Honestly, the people who blamed me the most had their own hands in my destruction and apparently there were attempts to derail my parents' careers, on and on and on. so...
God knows. Did I mention the electroshock (not voluntarily...welcome to the dregs, my friends) ? ugh. -shudder- I have the high IQ estimate now, never treated for HIV/AIDS but healthy, somehow...
but not a lot in the way of real, 3D memories. I can remember things, details...lacks the depth and intensity of memories I've been able to form more recently. OK. so...
God is Love. God is Good. I've had...a difficult run of things, but God spared -me- . I mean...obviously, with all the drugs and shock and such, I didn't appreciate being spared till..well, recently...
and that raises the obvious question: why? teenagers die of ODs and diseases and so do kids and...yeah, people die in their messes, every single day. I'm increasingly thankful that God spared me then and has forgiven me and made a way forward for me, its just...
yeah. its confusing, when I'm running into Family Dollar to grab some random cat food, etc., and these people are taunting and I don't know them, and...this is a small, southern -city- and I keep a low profile and I don't know them, and...
on and on. so, please pray. thanks, as always.
bad: mama had me run out and get cat food and some other stuff. she feeds all these cats who come up to the yard hungry. anyway...I went to a discount place in the small city where I live, and...-tension- . I know, it sounds...crazy...but its people I don't know, people I don't think I've ever even crossed paths with, who seem to be...vocal? its gotten better. when I first moved home about 10 years ago, I was afraid some dudes I did not know were about to beat me up...intimidation was a big, big part of my experience, socially, for most of my life. not surprisingly, I'm somewhat reclusive.
but yeah. nothing that bad, this time, but obvious tension...then I got up to the register and it really seemed like the cashier was rushing me out, like...going a good bit faster than usual, but not impolite or anything. and...and...
let me count the ways my pre-Jesus life was ruined: drugs, psychiatry, HIV/AIDS, severe brain damage, electroshock, criminal charges, poverty, family problems...
now? At 38...I apparently have a "high IQ estimate" and I'm healthy and I just have a (serious) misdemeanor on my record (crazy thing: even a serious misdemeanor beats a relatively minor felony...go figure...), my family is good to me, I live a modest, decent lifestyle, and...
on and on. God is Love. God is Good. Was it...all my fault? I dunno. Honestly, the people who blamed me the most had their own hands in my destruction and apparently there were attempts to derail my parents' careers, on and on and on. so...
God knows. Did I mention the electroshock (not voluntarily...welcome to the dregs, my friends) ? ugh. -shudder- I have the high IQ estimate now, never treated for HIV/AIDS but healthy, somehow...
but not a lot in the way of real, 3D memories. I can remember things, details...lacks the depth and intensity of memories I've been able to form more recently. OK. so...
God is Love. God is Good. I've had...a difficult run of things, but God spared -me- . I mean...obviously, with all the drugs and shock and such, I didn't appreciate being spared till..well, recently...
and that raises the obvious question: why? teenagers die of ODs and diseases and so do kids and...yeah, people die in their messes, every single day. I'm increasingly thankful that God spared me then and has forgiven me and made a way forward for me, its just...
yeah. its confusing, when I'm running into Family Dollar to grab some random cat food, etc., and these people are taunting and I don't know them, and...this is a small, southern -city- and I keep a low profile and I don't know them, and...
on and on. so, please pray. thanks, as always.