Un-Christian careers depend on gender?

[Sakura]

Hello everyone,

I'm fairly new to this forum and wanted here some opinions on this:

In college I shared with another Christian my passion to be a physicist, explore one of the many wonders of our universe. He basically said that a Christian woman should wish to have a home, family husband, children etc...

Well I contend that we are all different and the bible certainly does not say everyone must marry. I just felt bad because if it was a man sharing this passion he would not have been dismissed at all.

What do you think?

 

[Pizzaguy]

Perhaps what he meant to say (or what he SAID, but you didn't understand) was that most professional women WILL, at a certain time in their life, want a husband and family.

I know a lady with TWO PHD's, a husband and two kids. She is very happy, but she told me that her education and career, while nice - didn't bring her the happiness that her family has brought her. She did not marry until her late 30's.

She is proof that you CAN have both - but it is not easy. (But then, getting two PHD's, one in medicine and one in electrical engineering, was not easy, either.)

This lady is a good friend to me, and is my doctor.

 

[Sakura]

Perhaps what he meant to say (or what he SAID, but you didn't understand) was that most professional women WILL, at a certain time in their life, want a husband and family.

I know a lady with TWO PHD's, a husband and two kids. She is very happy, but she told me that her education and career, while nice - didn't bring her the happiness that her family has brought her. She did not marry until her late 30's.

She is proof that you CAN have both - but it is not easy. (But then, getting two PHD's, one in medicine and one in electrical engineering, was not easy, either.)

This lady is a good friend to me, and is my doctor.

Hello Pizza guy,

No, I quite recall he was precise and if he meant that he did not express it as such. That is why it made me want to ask here.

He said the home was the only place for a woman and that was where all their desires should be. I'm not sure about having it "all" as it called but I certainly plan to explore as much of the universe as I can.

 

[Mike]

I don't believe the significance of this decision is impacted be our faith all that much. Someone could point to our duty as Christian parents to constantly impress our faith upon our children and that you can't do that as well with them in the care of someone else, but they could be in a Christian day-care. I'll say what I'd say to anyone if asked.

Go after the education and use it to change your slice of the world, definitely. But if and when children enter the picture, I believe the wise decision is to stay home with them. Your answer to this question might change when you become a mother, but I'll ask you to try and put yourself in that place.

Do you believe anyone can do your job as your kids' mom as well as you? Are you that easily replaced?

I don't want to paint with a broad brush or condemn anyone, because there are always individual circumstances to be considered. But the sacrifice won't seem like a sacrifice when the years go by and you've had that time with your children that can't be taken away. We took the loss in income and did without a higher standard of living that we could have had otherwise, but looking back, we'd make the same decision. If you think you will be unfulfilled during that time when you aren't active in your career, I would say that in most cases, there's nothing more so than being a mother.

So the only aspect that needs to guide your decision now is the prospect of children later. Your chosen field is very exciting, and I'd encourage you to pursue it. That education won't be for nothing if you do stay home if and when you have children.

 

[theLords]

Wow. What a statement to make 2

Sakura, have you ever read the Proverbs woman?

Proverbs 31 - Passage*Lookup - New International Version, ©2010 - BibleGateway.com

 

[Sakura]

Hello Mike, perhaps I should mention that I am not married and there is no guarantee I will or even should find someone to marry. That may not be God's plan for me, who knows? And I should hope if I did marry that my husband would play a great part also in our children's lives. Both my parents worked but both seemed to find time to put plenty of time and effort into us. Still now they help me and my sister who is still a teen. However I don't really want children so it is not a worry for me.

I don't know I find very backward attitudes with some Christians. If a man told me of his desire to be a doctor I would not question him about how those hours would affect his relationship with his wife especially if he is not married or considering it...

 

[Tailgunner]

Hello everyone,

I'm fairly new to this forum and wanted here some opinions on this:

In college I shared with another Christian my passion to be a physicist, explore one of the many wonders of our universe. He basically said that a Christian woman should wish to have a home, family husband, children etc...

Well I contend that we are all different and the bible certainly does not say everyone must marry. I just felt bad because if it was a man sharing this passion he would not have been dismissed at all.

What do you think?

Hi Sakura. My view is that if you would like to study physics and pursue a career in that field, then GO FOR IT! You obviously wouldn't be thinking of this unless unless you had an aptitude for science, and were quite good at it.

Also, you mentioned in your reply to Mike that you didn't really think you wanted children. That's fine if you don't, but even if at some point you change your mind, you will still have your education, and if you should want to stay home with your children while they are growing up, it wouldn't prevent you from re-entering the field at a later date.

I know you can't base an important decision like this on a few posts from an online forum, but my thoughts are that if you want a career in physics, then work towards it. Being a wife and mother are extremely worthy careers in and of themselves, but they may not be right for you.

All the best and God's blessings to you whichever way you decide.

TG

 

[Igor]

Hello everyone,

I'm fairly new to this forum and wanted here some opinions on this:

In college I shared with another Christian my passion to be a physicist, explore one of the many wonders of our universe. He basically said that a Christian woman should wish to have a home, family husband, children etc...

Well I contend that we are all different and the bible certainly does not say everyone must marry. I just felt bad because if it was a man sharing this passion he would not have been dismissed at all.

What do you think?

Hi Sakura;

What you were told is a viewpoint held by many extreme fundamentalist Christians. You do not have to accept their viewpoint and live your life by it. You need to live your life by the word of God.

While there may be many good things about marriage, being a stay at home mom, and all that, I know of NO Biblical requirement for this. Read the Proverbs chapter that TheLords gave a link to. It clearly describes a woman who is active in business and a career, even though she IS married. How much more appropriate is a good career for a single woman!

You will find that many of those who make statements such as you were told about the only Biblical role for a woman is to get married, stay at home, etc, are also those who have long, legalistic lists of many other things that are either required or prohibited. Most of the things on their lists do not come from a proper reading of God's word, but from a few words of scripture here and there taken out of context and massaged to fit their particular view of how we should all live our lives. You are not required by God to follow anything other than what He told us in His word.

 

[Sakura]

Wow. What a statement to make 2

Sakura, have you ever read the Proverbs woman?

Proverbs 31 - Passage*Lookup - New International Version, ©2010 - BibleGateway.com

Yes I have. I guess I should not have been so surprised by the statement anyway. Its only that I have been raised far differently.

 

[pjt]

Hello everyone,

I'm fairly new to this forum and wanted here some opinions on this:

In college I shared with another Christian my passion to be a physicist, explore one of the many wonders of our universe. He basically said that a Christian woman should wish to have a home, family husband, children etc...

Well I contend that we are all different and the bible certainly does not say everyone must marry. I just felt bad because if it was a man sharing this passion he would not have been dismissed at all.

What do you think?

Some people have this belief, but you are right that the Bible does not say everyone should marry. In fact, it is a blessing not to marry as well as a blessing to marry. They are just different kinds of blessings but both are good in God`s eyes. The Bible says if you choose not to marry you can focus all on Him and that is your wonderful blessing. You certainly should not marry because you feel it is your obligation. A marriage like that probably would not be a fullfilled and happy one. Just let God be your guide. Your friend has a right to his opinion, but don`t take it to heart.

 

[elijah23]

Hello everyone,

I'm fairly new to this forum and wanted here some opinions on this:

In college I shared with another Christian my passion to be a physicist, explore one of the many wonders of our universe. He basically said that a Christian woman should wish to have a home, family husband, children etc...

Well I contend that we are all different and the bible certainly does not say everyone must marry. I just felt bad because if it was a man sharing this passion he would not have been dismissed at all.

What do you think?

You likely will get married and have kids, and they have to be taken care of, but if you can do that and be a physicist, too, then I say more power to you.

 

[Sakura]

You likely will get married and have kids, and they have to be taken care of, but if you can do that and be a physicist, too, then I say more power to you.

lol you know me? Probably not likely if opinion is anything to go by. And children.. well one must be able to have them. Also science and relationships.. well many scientists made there work first priority over a spouse and I would never want to do that. I sincerely doubt I will meet someone to marry but I'm not all that bothered. If God provides a spouse I will gladly accept.

 

[pjt]

lol you know me? Probably not likely if opinion is anything to go by. And children.. well one must be able to have them. Also science and relationships.. well many scientists made there work first priority over a spouse and I would never want to do that. I sincerely doubt I will meet someone to marry but I'm not all that bothered. If God provides a spouse I will gladly accept.

Again, remaining single is a Biblical concept just like marriage is. So there is nothing wrong with desiring to remain single.

However, if you do find yourself in love and desiring to marry some where down the road, then you can make decisions about children and your career at that time, but as long as you want to remain single then it only makes practical sense to pursue a career that you would love.

1 Cor. 7:32-35 "<SUP>32</SUP>But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

<SUP id=en-ESV-en-KJV-28521 class=versenum>33</SUP>But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
<SUP id=en-ESV-en-KJV-28522 class=versenum>34</SUP>There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. <SUP id=en-ESV-en-KJV-28523 class=versenum>35</SUP>And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction."

1Cor. 7:8 <SUP>8</SUP>I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.


Actually just read all of 1 Cor. 7!

 

[Mike]

I sincerely doubt I will meet someone to marry but I'm not all that bothered. If God provides a spouse I will gladly accept.

This comment made me curious. Why do you doubt you'll meet someone to marry? I could understand if you said "I don't know", but to say you doubt it?

I have to backtrack and apologize for taking your thread in a direction you never intended it to go. I do believe strongly that the best thing for mothers to do is stay home with children if at all possible, but my diatribe should have been reserved for a mother asking this question.

Parenting aside, I would encourage you in every way I could to pursue your ambitions and seize this opportunity for education. Of course, your ambitions should be filtered through the desire of God for your life. But I see no reason why this would be in conflict with His desire. Some might argue that such aspirations of education for women, even men, are putting our ambitions before God. I don't believe there is anything in conflict, unless it personally hinders your focus on Christ.

 

[jasoncran]

some choose not to marry,or if they marry they dont have kids(my case)

my wife had 2 kids before i married her. and didnt want kids and went into menapause and had her uterus removed.

 

[Sakura]

This comment made me curious. Why do you doubt you'll meet someone to marry? I could understand if you said "I don't know", but to say you doubt it?

Simple, only the deepest love will induce me into matrimony. That and I have not met anyone I would like to marry and from my experiences I figure someone I would like would be a very rare person.

I have to backtrack and apologize for taking your thread in a direction you never intended it to go. I do believe strongly that the best thing for mothers to do is stay home with children if at all possible, but my diatribe should have been reserved for a mother asking this question.

Hey I accept your apology. You are entitled to your opinion. I however did not have a stay at home mother and felt my situation was best for me and my sister. Both my parents are my role models

 

[pjt]

This comment made me curious. Why do you doubt you'll meet someone to marry? I could understand if you said "I don't know", but to say you doubt it?

I can relate to that. I`m married with children now, but when I was young, I was so happy with life and in love with God that I wanted to remain that way. I had no desire to marry at all. I was not like some of my friends that felt lonely and a need for a boyfriend or girlfriend. I was happy just experiecing life. And I saw marriage as something to tie me down from fully tasting life. I wanted to travel, see things, and do things. So I fully enjoyed my singlehood. On the other hand, there are women like Lucy Swindall (Chuck Swindall`s sister) who thought she would marry but ended up single. I have heard several older men and women like this who did not set out planning to be single but it just happened and they made a happy life of it. So as long as a person is single they need to make provisions to take care of themselves careerwise. We just never know what twists and turns will happen in life. And it is possible Sakura may fall in love later but I can understand her present feelings.