betteroffdead
Member
Does hell mean eternal torment or simply that you cease to exist?
I am an only child. When my parents divorced my mother didn’t think I was worth demanding child support for, and the sperm donor never paid what the divorce judge told him to pay anyway. I’ve had no contact with him since 1983. I wouldn’t give you 2 cents for all of his family combined. My mother’s family is all dead except for a nephew, but I wouldn’t give 2 cents for them either.
My mother has been nothing but a detriment to me since the day I was born- 10 weeks premature. I was supposed to have been stillborn; she couldn’t even do that right.
I’ve lost count of how many times my mother has told people with more than 2 children, “I learn from my mistakes- one husband, one childâ€.
I became a Christian when I was about 4 years old while I was attending a YMCA day camp. My mother is not saved and has no wish to be saved. I have never been a member of any church and I have never attended church services. And quite frankly I don’t see how I have missed anything- too many Bible-thumping church goers have condemned me for not living up to their expectations when they have made no effort to understand my situation in life.
My mother has lupus and I have been stupid enough to be her only caregiver. And I myself have congestive heart failure, severe high blood pressure and arthritis that will likely cripple me if I live another 10 years. When I was a child several doctors told my mother that I had a heart murmur, but my mother didn’t do anything about it; she didn’t even tell me what doctors told her until I was diagnosed with heart failure at age 40.
I took bp drugs for almost 2 years and now wish I had OD’d on them before I decided to stop taking them altogether due to the side effects- that my doctor says don’t exist.
I grew up wanting to be a doctor. My high school grades were very good. But I had no money for college on my own so my mother exiled me 600 miles to go to a college that I didn’t want any part of. I barely graduated with a degree in biology.
When I got out of college I wanted to open a non-profit college prep school for Christian students. I contacted about 250 local churches, but not one of them had classroom space it was willing to let me rent or borrow. I gave up on the idea and was working as a private tutor when my mother’s brother died and I inherited a fair amount of cash. But since my mother handled the paperwork my money went into her bank account. She’s made it clear that I am not entitled to spend any of it, so spending any of it means I will become homeless.
I wanted to use the money to build a school. I could afford the materials but I couldn’t find any church that is willing to provide the necessary land and volunteer labor.
I have offered the money to various ministries, existing Christian schools as well as orphanages and colleges hoping I could trade the money for a job. The only people that have been willing to talk to me tell me what I have isn’t enough to satisfy them.
I have looked for a pastoral position, but of the hundreds of churches I have contacted only one asked me to go through any kind of interview process- a freewill Baptist church in Mississippi asked me to fill out a questionnaire. But that church hasn’t even bothered to acknowledge that it received my answers.
Churches where I live won’t answer their phone during business hours, and churches on the net won’t even acknowledge my prayer requests.
I would like to buy some property and set up an organic farm. My father’s parents were expert vegetable growers; my mother’s mother came from a North Carolina farm family. I’ve been around gardening my whole life and I have had my own garden almost every year since 1981. I know how to grow vegetables, but my mother essentially says I am too stupid to know how to run a farm. But at any rate I cannot run a farm without people willing to help me with the physical labor, but nobody is interested.
I am in constant physical pain because of my health. I am in constant emotional pain because of my existence. And nobody gives a damn. So-called Christians on the net either tell me to trust God or they say everything that is wrong with me is my fault. I am ready to kill myself and only the thought that hell means even more pain and suffering than I have known my whole life prevents me from doing it.
I am an only child. When my parents divorced my mother didn’t think I was worth demanding child support for, and the sperm donor never paid what the divorce judge told him to pay anyway. I’ve had no contact with him since 1983. I wouldn’t give you 2 cents for all of his family combined. My mother’s family is all dead except for a nephew, but I wouldn’t give 2 cents for them either.
My mother has been nothing but a detriment to me since the day I was born- 10 weeks premature. I was supposed to have been stillborn; she couldn’t even do that right.
I’ve lost count of how many times my mother has told people with more than 2 children, “I learn from my mistakes- one husband, one childâ€.
I became a Christian when I was about 4 years old while I was attending a YMCA day camp. My mother is not saved and has no wish to be saved. I have never been a member of any church and I have never attended church services. And quite frankly I don’t see how I have missed anything- too many Bible-thumping church goers have condemned me for not living up to their expectations when they have made no effort to understand my situation in life.
My mother has lupus and I have been stupid enough to be her only caregiver. And I myself have congestive heart failure, severe high blood pressure and arthritis that will likely cripple me if I live another 10 years. When I was a child several doctors told my mother that I had a heart murmur, but my mother didn’t do anything about it; she didn’t even tell me what doctors told her until I was diagnosed with heart failure at age 40.
I took bp drugs for almost 2 years and now wish I had OD’d on them before I decided to stop taking them altogether due to the side effects- that my doctor says don’t exist.
I grew up wanting to be a doctor. My high school grades were very good. But I had no money for college on my own so my mother exiled me 600 miles to go to a college that I didn’t want any part of. I barely graduated with a degree in biology.
When I got out of college I wanted to open a non-profit college prep school for Christian students. I contacted about 250 local churches, but not one of them had classroom space it was willing to let me rent or borrow. I gave up on the idea and was working as a private tutor when my mother’s brother died and I inherited a fair amount of cash. But since my mother handled the paperwork my money went into her bank account. She’s made it clear that I am not entitled to spend any of it, so spending any of it means I will become homeless.
I wanted to use the money to build a school. I could afford the materials but I couldn’t find any church that is willing to provide the necessary land and volunteer labor.
I have offered the money to various ministries, existing Christian schools as well as orphanages and colleges hoping I could trade the money for a job. The only people that have been willing to talk to me tell me what I have isn’t enough to satisfy them.
I have looked for a pastoral position, but of the hundreds of churches I have contacted only one asked me to go through any kind of interview process- a freewill Baptist church in Mississippi asked me to fill out a questionnaire. But that church hasn’t even bothered to acknowledge that it received my answers.
Churches where I live won’t answer their phone during business hours, and churches on the net won’t even acknowledge my prayer requests.
I would like to buy some property and set up an organic farm. My father’s parents were expert vegetable growers; my mother’s mother came from a North Carolina farm family. I’ve been around gardening my whole life and I have had my own garden almost every year since 1981. I know how to grow vegetables, but my mother essentially says I am too stupid to know how to run a farm. But at any rate I cannot run a farm without people willing to help me with the physical labor, but nobody is interested.
I am in constant physical pain because of my health. I am in constant emotional pain because of my existence. And nobody gives a damn. So-called Christians on the net either tell me to trust God or they say everything that is wrong with me is my fault. I am ready to kill myself and only the thought that hell means even more pain and suffering than I have known my whole life prevents me from doing it.
