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Desire to be a vessel of honor unto the Lord Jesus Christ?
Join For His Glory for a discussion on how
https://christianforums.net/threads/a-vessel-of-honor.110278/
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Taking the time to pray? Christ is the answer in times of need
https://christianforums.net/threads/psalm-70-1-save-me-o-god-lord-help-me-now.108509/
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:toofunnyTHIS STORY IS NOT TRUE!
Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking
her nose into other people's business….
Several members did not approve of her
extra curricular activities, but feared her
enough to maintain their silence…
She made a mistake, however, when she
accused Frank, a new member, of being an
alcoholic after she saw his old pickup
parked in front of the town's
only bar one afternoon...
She emphatically told Frank
(and several others)
that everyone seeing it there
WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING!
Frank, a man of few words,
stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away
He didn't explain, defend, or deny…
He said nothing….
Later that evening,
Frank quietly parked his pickup
in front of Mildred's house ...
walked home.......
And left it there all night!!!
(You gotta love Frank)
Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking
her nose into other people's business….
Several members did not approve of her
extra curricular activities, but feared her
enough to maintain their silence…
She made a mistake, however, when she
accused Frank, a new member, of being an
alcoholic after she saw his old pickup
parked in front of the town's
only bar one afternoon...
She emphatically told Frank
(and several others)
that everyone seeing it there
WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING!
Frank, a man of few words,
stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away
He didn't explain, defend, or deny…
He said nothing….
Later that evening,
Frank quietly parked his pickup
in front of Mildred's house ...
walked home.......
And left it there all night!!!
(You gotta love Frank)
Blazin Bones
Member
- Oct 6, 2004
- 10,719
- 84
mine
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing
on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop!
don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
He said, "Like what?"
I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?"
He said, "Religious."
I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
He said,"Christian."
I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
He said, "Baptist!"
I said,"Wow! Me too! Are you Holiness Baptist Church or
Southern Baptist Church?"
He said, "Holiness Baptist Church!"
I said, "Me too! Are you Original Holiness Baptist Church,
or are you Reformed Baptist Church?"
He said,"Reformed Baptist church!"
I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church,
Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church,
Reformation of 1915?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church, Reformation of 1915!"
I said, "Heretic!", and pushed him off.
on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop!
don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
He said, "Like what?"
I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?"
He said, "Religious."
I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
He said,"Christian."
I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
He said, "Baptist!"
I said,"Wow! Me too! Are you Holiness Baptist Church or
Southern Baptist Church?"
He said, "Holiness Baptist Church!"
I said, "Me too! Are you Original Holiness Baptist Church,
or are you Reformed Baptist Church?"
He said,"Reformed Baptist church!"
I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church,
Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church,
Reformation of 1915?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church, Reformation of 1915!"
I said, "Heretic!", and pushed him off.
After the Southern Baptist Convention declared a boycott of Disneyworld, Baptists had to wear the same disguises there that they wear when going to the liquor store.
Note to my friend Nick: Give it up, Brother. I've been a Baptist for 39 years, and I've got more jokes than you can cover.
Note to my friend Nick: Give it up, Brother. I've been a Baptist for 39 years, and I've got more jokes than you can cover.
Blazin Bones
Member
- Oct 6, 2004
- 10,719
- 84
Neither can you amigo...
In a 1st grade class room, it was Church day. The teacher picked 3 boys to stand up and present their objects to the class.
The first boy stood up and said "Hi, My name is Abram, I'm Jewish and this is a Matzaball!"
The second boy got up and said "Hi, my name is Johnny and I'm Catholic, this is a Crucifix!"
Finally the third boy got up and said "Hi, My name is Billy and I am Baptist, and this is a piece of fried chicken!"
The first boy stood up and said "Hi, My name is Abram, I'm Jewish and this is a Matzaball!"
The second boy got up and said "Hi, my name is Johnny and I'm Catholic, this is a Crucifix!"
Finally the third boy got up and said "Hi, My name is Billy and I am Baptist, and this is a piece of fried chicken!"
Caroline H
Member
- Jul 9, 2008
- 5,830
- 7
I now have the last word, so you can all go home now ;)
, none of you shall ever win, cuase im winning