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Who ever gets the last Word

Baptized? Baptized as a Christian after you accepted Christ?

Hold on, Men, we might have to do this another couple of times.
 
Vince said:
Being helpful, friendly people, the helpful friendly Baptists helpfully hoist Nick onto their shoulders in a friendly manner. Singing "Shall We Gather at the River," they march into the billybong and shove Nick under the water.

Vince starts preaching. Fortunately, Jeff, being a Baptist, has seen this happen before, and he helpfully pulls Nick up from under the water before it is too late. Nick is about to say something, but Jeff warns him not to. "Some of these guys say that you have to go under three times, and if you start something they'll say that one time wasn't enough."

The baptism is followed by a huge dinner of Southern fried chicken, like they used to do in the Book of Acts, and even Nick is happy.

BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! :biglol :biglol :rolling
 
Today's "Bright Young Lads" award goes to six Somali pirates who tracked a large ship through the darkness off the coast of Yemen this morning.

Bursting towards their victim, the pirates opened fire just before dawn, speeding towards the surprised vessel in order to board before it could pick up speed.

The "victim" was a United States Marine amphibious assault ship.


I am pleased to report that the Marines pulled all six survivors out of the water.
 
Today's "Hear ye, Hear ye!" award goes to the Connecticut State Supreme Court, which refused to release a member of the Kennedy family who had beaten a teen-age girl to death 35 years ago.

The Kennedies had purchased the services of a professional criminal, who claimed that he had seen two other men do it. The Court ruled that since none of the three men had been in the area at the time, they would not overturn the conviction.
 
Today's "I Didn't Get the Appreciation I Deserve" Award goes to John Hanson, the first President of the United States, who was born on April 13, 1715.

He served one year, under the Articles of Confederation. Eight years later, the Constitution was written, and George Washington became President.

Appointed unanimously by Congress at the close of the American Revolution, President Hanson, with the help of George Washington, persuaded the unpaid American troops not to rebel. He ordered all foreign troops expelled from American soil, established the Cabinet, made Thanksgiving a national event, and with almost no help from Congress, kept the United States from collapsing.

Happy birthday, Mr. President.
 
Wow, I've never even heard of this guy. :shrug. I"m not American and have not been taought very much American history, but I do at least know the names of many American presidents...but not this guy.
 
The amazing truth is that the US had several Presidents before George Washington, but they were under the Articles of Confederation, an ineffective document that tried to keep thirteen independent nations under one umbrella.

After nine years, it was replaced by the Constitution of the United States, and George Washington was then elected President.
 
Daniel Greene, an American soldier in Iraq, survived having her arm blown off by a rocket. She had been behind sandbags on the roof of a police building. Her most vivid memory of the incident?

THE "BE ALL YOU CAN BE" AWARD

As she was being prepared for transport to a hospital, two soldiers disobeyed orders, went to the roof, found her arm, removed her engagement ring, ran over to her, and put it on her other hand.
 
Today's "I'm Not Really an Angel, I Just Act Like One" Award goes to Captain Ed Freeman.

On November 14, 1965, Captain Freeman's unit transported a battalion of American soldiers to the la Drang Valley in Vietnam. Returning to base, they learned that the soldiers had been surrounded, were heavily outnumbered, had taken heavy casualties, and that medivac helicopters were unable to land due to heavy machine gun fire.

Captain Freeman volunteered to return, landing fourteen times in his unarmed, lightly-armored helicopter, bringing in supplies and evacuating wounded soldiers while under heavy fire.
 
Today's "Everybody is Ridiculing Me" award goes to Matthew Clemmens, because everybody is ridiculing him.

During a baseball game, Clemmens and another drunk kept bothering fans with their profanity. Enraged when police removed one of the drunks, Clemmons deliberately vomited on a man and his eleven year old daughter, not realizing that the man was on off-duty police captain.

You ought to see the insults and ridicule being heaped on him by the news media.
 
Another award! The famous "To Tell the Truth" award goes to Paul Revere, who 235 years ago tonight rode around yelling "The British are Coming!"
 
Today's "Ready to Fight at a Minute's Notice" award goes to a bunch of farmers who assembled at the bridge outside Concord, Massachusetts 235 years ago today.

Beginning the American Revolution with a defeat at Lexington, the Americans retreated to Concord, where other MInutemen has assembled at the bridge, taking their stand as the British army approached,
"And fired the shot heard 'round the world."

Stunned at being defeated by Americans, the British retreated, under constant fire, back to Boston.
 
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