Okay. On the topic of apologetics, why does nobody ever mention the Shroud of Turin???
I'm usually pretty skeptical of holy relics, but... uh, photographic negative imprints that are impossible to reproduce, alongside all the other evidence for its authenticity, is a little bit more than a silly Catholic legend!
As someone in the "well, something
probably happened but I don't trust the Gospel account" camp, running across the full story of the Shroud of Turin
literally just changed everything. I don't think that thing is a forgery, and it's
impossible to accept the Shroud of Turin and then turn around and reject the bodily Resurrection.
Why did it take me five months to find out about this!?
You say, Silmarien, 'I've been struggling through a conversion for about five months now'. It seems to me that you could be making it too difficult for yourself.
- Are you convinced that you are a sinner who deserves the wrath of God? (Rom 1:18 NIV)
- Are you convinced you suppress the truth of God through your wickedness - which includes pursuing philosophies that are not congruent with God's character and the biblical revelation? (Rom 1:18 NIV)
- How does salvation come to a person like you? Just like it comes to me and all others on this forum who are Christian: By grace through faith (Eph 2:8-9 NIV).
- What is preventing you from repenting and placing your faith in Jesus Christ alone for salvation right now? (Acts 3:19 NIV)
C.S. Lewis spent two years as an uncommitted theist before he finally embraced Christianity. I don't think there's supposed to be anything easy about this, and the only people who make it difficult for me are the ones who keep on telling me it shouldn't be so. Sometimes I feel like the people who would warn me against expecting instant results turn around and criticize me for already knowing not to expect them.
Now, I'm probably going to be joining the Eastern Orthodox Church for a while, because
I think they're right. I'm not sure I could accept all of the strings attached there, but at least spending some time as a catechumen is probably a step I'm going to need to take. This means that there are a lot of differences between the way I see things and the way you see things--differences that are going to make some of these questions a bit tricky to answer. (I'll say "yes," but I'll say so in such a way that you'll think I'm saying "no," and the whole thing will quickly dissolve into madness.)
I'm not remotely convinced that there's anything inherently wrong with Christian existentialism, no. The more I look into it, the more obvious it becomes that this is a case where postmodernism turns into pre-modernism, because there are a ton of similarities between existentialist and Orthodox thought. I got lured away by the atheist side of philosophy for a while, but I suspect that even that served a purpose.
Now, my whole problem is this binary idea that either you believe or you don't, that faith is the sort of thing you can magically conjure out of nowhere, especially if you've been nontheistic your whole life. If you want to say that willful skepticism is wickedness, you might have a point, but there's really nothing willful about doubt, and I'd really appreciate it if you stopped it with the constant abuse because I don't match your expectations. All it does is backfire. If you want to chase me away, keep it up, but you'll probably just leave me shrieking about the Sack of Constantinople for the rest of my life. And if you go after Eastern Orthodoxy, I will block you.
The Shroud of Turin probably was the final nail in the coffin. (Seriously, why did nobody mention it?) I think Christianity probably is true. I don't really expect to be able to wrap my head around that all at once, and I'm not sure why you think I need to. I'm not going to get bored and decide that maybe Hinduism is the answer.
I have no problem admitting that I'm "doing it my way." Everyone's faith journey is different, so I have no idea how anyone can approach this stuff except in their own way. The fact that my way doesn't look very much like your way doesn't mean that one is God's way and the other isn't, and it's extremely presumptuous of you to ask me why I'm not repenting when I explicitly say that I have been. My point was that a nihilistic form of atheism is hard to refute rationally; this doesn't mean that I accept it. I don't like what's at the other end of that little thought experiment, but there are plenty of atheists who, when pushed, would absolutely go all the way. I think it's worthwhile to recognize that.