CAN A MAN RAPE HIS WIFE?

[Seasoned by Grace]

At least to me, there is too much literalism here with no give and take, and some understanding of a woman's hormonal issues, not to mention her monthly period that she has to deal with, not to mention raising kids and keeping a house as nice as she can, and what you can do, depends on the age of the kids, if you have any.
There were times with my wife, I let her know I wanted her, but sometimes she was too distracted or tired.
That verse about a man's body isn't his, and a woman's body isn't hers, is about giving not taking.
The bible says that we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church.
These verses in the bible need to be understood that God's word isn't about rule-keeping, because the bible says, in your mind, that she should drop everything including her pants, so you can have her, and no's aren't allowed . We as men have to be very aware of our wife's situation, and not just be concerned about your own needs, otherwise, sex just becomes a duty, and the wife feels used and unappreciated for all she does for the family.
If you want it, jump in and help her, and make it fun, so she feels important and worth your effort to help, so she can enjoy being with you also.
Sex is about both of you enjoying that moment, Together, and both of you having the time and desire and energy, to satisfy each other.
These verses to me are a test of how much a man loves his wife, by how he treats her, because of how he interprets this part of the bible, and showing love to her in a Godly way.

My 2 cents.

 

[Edward]

Sex is about both of you enjoying that moment, Together, and both of you having the time and desire and energy, to satisfy each other.

Now that's an interesting statement, but is it true?

Ideally, both partners feel good and have lots of drive and energy, but as any man who has been married for some time can tell you...it's not always this way!

Question for the men here: Have you ever turned down your wife for sex when you're dog tired worked all day, and she's poking you saying come alive?!

To the best of my recollection, I never did. Usually women do not have to ask for sex because the man is already there, lol. But I know that, boy you better do your duty and make her feel good. Best wake up and sleep later...or someone else might, lol. So in my mind, a Husband should not never ever turn down his Wife.

To have love and compassion for your Wife means...she can say no, but I can't! Then you never hear that complaint, lol. (Ohh it sounds soo bad when a gal roasts her hubby like that! Neglects her?! bad juju).

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

"boy you better do your duty and make her feel good"

Edward my brother.
Thank you so much for you response.

I quoted part of your statement above, and I'll add another saying I hear all the time - Happy wife, happy life, signifying that one person is in control of the relationship, and better tow the line.
I've seen and witnessed marriages and relationships like that.
To me, marriage is a partnership, of love and respect, where there is a kind of unspoken, natural give and take, and consideration for each other, and each ones needs, and their likes and dislikes that developes over the years, and love grows deeper, and is more relaxed and satisfying, as you kind of begin to flow with each other, finishes each others sentences, and know the other person better than they know themselves.
To me, that's marriage love in it's deepest form.

God bless you Edward.
I pray that your marriage is very satisfying

 

[Edward]

Edward my brother.
Thank you so much for you response.

I quoted part of your statement above, and I'll add another saying I hear all the time - Happy wife, happy life, signifying that one person is in control of the relationship, and better tow the line.
I've seen and witnessed marriages and relationships like that.
To me, marriage is a partnership, of love and respect, where there is a kind of unspoken, natural give and take, and consideration for each other, and each ones needs, and their likes and dislikes that developes over the years, and love grows deeper, and is more relaxed and satisfying, as you kind of begin to flow with each other, finishes each others sentences, and know the other person better than they know themselves.
To me, that's marriage love in it's deepest form.

God bless you Edward.
I pray that your marriage is very satisfying

She jumped ship after 26 years. :/
Even though she was sexually exhausted I didn't make enough money for her.

That's the thing...A man has two great aspirations in life. A good name in his Family, and a good name in his work. There is a fine line between balance. If a man gives too much attention either way, the other suffers.

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

She jumped ship after 26 years. :/
Even though she was sexually exhausted I didn't make enough money for her.

That's the thing...A man has two great aspirations in life. A good name in his Family, and a good name in his work. There is a fine line between balance. If a man gives too much attention either way, the other suffers.

Edward
Marriage has always been a gamble. It can be a timebomb.
People can change, and one day you don't know them anymore.
Or unbeknownst to you, they married you because you provided perceived security or an escape from a miserable home life, and never loved you from the beginning, and once they got older and figure out what they do want, it's audious. I've seen a lot of it in my years. Even seen bad treatment in church, by men and women with their mates. It's pretty shocking.

 

[jasonc]

menopause changes things

 

[jaybo]

Edward
Marriage has always been a gamble. It can be a timebomb.
People can change, and one day you don't know them anymore.
Or unbeknownst to you, they married you because you provided perceived security or an escape from a miserable home life, and never loved you from the beginning, and once they got older and figure out what they do want, it's audious. I've seen a lot of it in my years. Even seen bad treatment in church, by men and women with their mates. It's pretty shocking.

This is very depressing and cynical. Marriage can be a lifelong involvement with a spouse, filled with love, joy, mutual respect, and daily happiness. That's what my life has been for 53 years (and counting).

This is the relationship that God intended: "Then the Lord God made a woman from the part he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. Then the man said,

“This one at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
this one will be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and unites with his wife, and they become one family."

NET 2.1 translation

 

[jaybo]

menopause changes things

Aside from being no longer being able to become pregnant, how does menopause change things regarding a man raping his wife?

 

[jasonc]

Aside from being no longer being able to become pregnant, how does menopause change things regarding a man raping his wife?

it is in regard to sexual desire ,my wife didn't start menopause until few years after her partial hysterectomy .

she had her ovaries removed 20 years after her uterus.ovarian cancer .they don't remove these unless risk or a problem with a history of cancer is in the past.

my wife menstrual cycle wwent south the to fibroid tumours and her uterus shifted and the doctor said its best to remove that .estrogen wasn't added by her ob gyn until a few years later .

 

[mswan]

This is very depressing and cynical. Marriage can be a lifelong involvement with a spouse, filled with love, joy, mutual respect, and daily happiness. That's what my life has been for 53 years (and counting).

This is the relationship that God intended: "Then the Lord God made a woman from the part he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. Then the man said,

“This one at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
this one will be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and unites with his wife, and they become one family."

NET 2.1 translation

48 years here. Our love only grows stronger.

 

[jaybo]

48 years here. Our love only grows stronger.

53 years and our love grows stronger every day. God bless.

 

[Edward]

Aside from being no longer being able to become pregnant, how does menopause change things regarding a man raping his wife?

It doesn't change anything. Sarah proved that, right?! The men will still want her as long as she's alive I think.

 

[D-D-W]

Question for the men here: Have you ever turned down your wife for sex when you're dog tired worked all day, and she's poking you saying come alive?!

Never happened and most likely never will. She was taught my her mother that all sex (desires thoughts urges) were invented by the devil and God grudgingly allows it only for producing offspring. (once per child)

 

[Prycejosh1987]

I believe we can, any sex that is forced or unwanted is rape.

 

[D-D-W]

I believe we can, any sex that is forced or unwanted is rape.

The FBI's Uniform Crime Reporting Program Definition of "rape" as of 2014 is this:

“Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”

It was named after a fencing sword, "rapier," popular in Europe in the 17th and 18th centuries. It was a thrusting sword, similar to a Foil; but also had a double edge.

 

[PrimFinallyFoundGod!]

Yep.
I'm sorry (actually I'm not) but they absolutely can. You have to be careful who you marry, if you rush you could end up married to someone uninterested in sex when you are, or married to a violent person.
Rape is sex without consent. So if a woman says no and a man forces himself onto her body, positions her how he wants her and does it anyway while she is begging him not to and trying to get away, that is a lust-driven act, often a painful and violent act and a disrespectful selfish thing to do. Lust is a sin. And marriage is about 2 people becoming 1. It's not 1 if one of the people is being used like a sex toy. Lets not pick and mix which aspects of lust behaviour to obey God on and which to use bible verses interpreted as rape is fine if its against the female okay? We live in a society that vilifies Christianity in particular as being rapey and stuff like this really doesn't help our case. Treat your partner with respect, satisfy each other emotionally and sexually, reproduce when the time is right, obey the 10 commandments, follow God's word and limit/repent sin. Simple. Not harmful. Not rapey. Not any of the stereotypes people think that turns them away from God.

 

[PrimFinallyFoundGod!]

If you think a husband cant rape a wife then a wife can't rape her husband either can she? She can just grab his whatever whenever she fancies? No? Why? Because its lustful? Hm I think there is 2 people involved so that applies to both

 

[Riven]

The fact that this is being asked in the 21st century...

 

[sree251]

It says the opposite.
It says a womans' body belongs to the man and V V.
But I will not belabor the point.

This is a question that has always intrigued me, however.

I'll only say that if a wife hates her husband to the point of believing he could rape her, maybe she shouldn't be living with him?

Good point. The purpose of marriage is union of man and woman. If the woman has an ulterior motive, then the marriage is a sham on her part.

 

[GodsGrace]

Good point. The purpose of marriage is union of man and woman. If the woman has an ulterior motive, then the marriage is a sham on her part.

Of course.
If a woman feels like her husband is raping her, WHY are they married?
In marriage the two shall become as one.
It sure doesn't seem like married people really believe this anymore...
however, the rules still apply.

Plus, let us not forget that a man is to love his wife as Jesus loves the church.
Ephesians 5:25

This counts for a lot.
A man must absolutely love his wife.
A wife must absolutely respect her husband.
and V V. Love and respect.
Or it won't work well.