CAN A MAN RAPE HIS WIFE?

[Edward]

No man should force his wife into sex, let alone pin her down.
It is a mutual act where two become one. This is not only in the physical sense, but also emotional and spiritual.
When a man forces himself on a woman and she is in duress due to his act of violence, they are not one. And yes, forcing oneself on another is an act of violence.

Brother, I agree with you! I never did that to my Wife. I love her too much. But what about the girl who asked me to rape her and role play it out a little bit? She caught me off guard. I never heard of such a thing.

That was years ago and we were both young and stupid. Since then I've learned that she merely had a poor choice of words. She wanted what they call, Ravished and I suspect that many women hold this desire. But she wasn't asking for violence to be done to her. And she never was under any duress when it was taking place. Women seem to like it that a man is in control and having his way with her. Don't ask me why, that's a question for the girls! I suspect a fine line between Ravishing a woman and Raping her.

I felt very awkward when that girl asked that a few times. I was not used to even approaching anything like that before. I was taught that Women are to be loved and to be held as special. You don't slap the girls around!

 

[D-D-W]

Free
I understand that men might think that rape is unwanted intimacy.....
Any intimate act violates a woman in some way.
But I think that a man that believes he could rape his wife doesn't really understand what rape is and the physical, emotional and psychological damage it does.

Perhaps we should look at the definition of "rape." I realize some modern translations use the term, but the older and more precise translations do not; and so I will call up a secular definition since there really is no biblical one.

This is the definition the US FBI uses: Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.

Pretty straight forward.

 

[D-D-W]

Good point. The purpose of marriage is union of man and woman. If the woman has an ulterior motive, then the marriage is a sham on her part.

What do you mean by "ulterior motive?"

 

[GodsGrace]

Perhaps we should look at the definition of "rape." I realize some modern translations use the term, but the older and more precise translations do not; and so I will call up a secular definition since there really is no biblical one.

This is the definition the US FBI uses: Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.

Pretty straight forward.

Let's try THIS definition:
I find it interesting that a MAN wants to explain to a WOMAN what rape is.
Some men have experienced rape...but it's not something they go around worrying about in their daily lives.
In colleges, the girls get raped, not the boys.


rape
to force someone to have sex when they are unwilling, using violence or threatening behaviour:
She was pulled from the car and raped.
An alleged sexual predator is on trial for raping a young man.

source: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/it/dizionario/inglese/rape


rape
: unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against a person's will or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception compare SEXUAL ASSAULT, STATUTORY RAPE
2
: an outrageous violation

3
: an act or instance of robbing or despoiling or carrying away a person by force

source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/rape


noun
unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the person subjected to such penetration.See also sexual assault.
statutory rape.
an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation:the rape of the countryside.

source: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/rape

 

[GodsGrace]

What do you mean by "ulterior motive?"

Your question is for sree251 ,
however, I'd like to give you an answer I've already posted previously.
Posts do have the disadvantage that not everyone will read every post.

I did say that IF the woman feels raped by her husband, she shouldn't be married to him.

And if this is the case, she MIGHT have an ulterior motive for the marriage,
which, as our new member correctly stated, would make the marriage a sham, to use his words.

 

[GodsGrace]

No man should force his wife into sex, let alone pin her down.
It is a mutual act where two become one. This is not only in the physical sense, but also emotional and spiritual.
When a man forces himself on a woman and she is in duress due to his act of violence, they are not one. And yes, forcing oneself on another is an act of violence.

You're right that rape is violence, both physical and emotional and psychological.
I know you can't read every post here, but rape by a husband is non-existant....
unless he uses a knife, or gun, or something else that terrifies the victim (wife).
Because rape is terrorizing...
Again, if a woman feels raped by her husband, they shouldn't be married.
Not feeling like it and being raped is two different things.

 

[stovebolts]

Brother, I agree with you! I never did that to my Wife. I love her too much. But what about the girl who asked me to rape her and role play it out a little bit? She caught me off guard. I never heard of such a thing.

That was years ago and we were both young and stupid. Since then I've learned that she merely had a poor choice of words. She wanted what they call, Ravished and I suspect that many women hold this desire. But she wasn't asking for violence to be done to her. And she never was under any duress when it was taking place. Women seem to like it that a man is in control and having his way with her. Don't ask me why, that's a question for the girls! I suspect a fine line between Ravishing a woman and Raping her.

I felt very awkward when that girl asked that a few times. I was not used to even approaching anything like that before. I was taught that Women are to be loved and to be held as special. You don't slap the girls around!

You’ve already corrected yourself that you used a poor choice of words. You did not “rape” her.

Your story speaks of our sin nature and our desires of the flesh. While I’m certain you both enjoyed the moment, it was just that… a moment that did not last the test of time. If it had, you two would have become “one”. But neither of you were ever “one” as you both operated out of your own flesh and you each received your reward in the flesh which vanishes like a vapor. It doesn’t sustain the deeper things our sexuality has to offer when a man and a woman do become one in not only flesh, but also emotionally and spiritually which lasts the test of time.

To be honest Edward, your childhood memory was seeped in sexual sin. It’s not what God wanted from either of you.

 

[GodsGrace]

I might have actually misunderstood you, or you misunderstood me, or both, thanks to the ambiguity of English.

My initial statement was: "A husband absolutely can rape his wife. It does happen and quite likely even among those who claim to be Christian." By that I did not mean that a man is allowed to rape his wife, but rather that it is physically possible for a husband to rape his wife. I was arguing against the idea that marital rape is not possible because a wife's body belongs to her husband and his body to her, which some seemed to have argued.

You said: “But I think that a man that believes he could rape his wife doesn't really understand what rape is and the physical, emotional and psychological damage it does.”

Which I took to mean ... something different, I think.

My reply--"it is a man who believes he can't rape his wife that doesn't really understand what rape is, nor the damage it does"--is meaning that a man who thinks that there is no such thing as marital rape, that any and all sex with his wife, including forcing himself on her, is okay, doesn't understand what rape is.

I am much too tired to figure out our miscommunication, apart from the fact that I'm sure we are using different meanings of "could" and "can"--physically able vs. permitted.

There's no ambiguity.

Here it is again:

If a person believes a man can rape his wife...
he really does NOT understand what rape is.

 

[stovebolts]

You're right that rape is violence, both physical and emotional and psychological.
I know you can't read every post here, but rape by a husband is non-existant....
unless he uses a knife, or gun, or something else that terrifies the victim (wife).
Because rape is terrorizing...
Again, if a woman feels raped by her husband, they shouldn't be married.
Not feeling like it and being raped is two different things.

Not every relationship between a marriage is healthy. Not every woman has sexual desires or sexual intimacy may be painful.
What of the drunk who comes home, beats his wife and pins her on the bed to have his way? Do you honestly think this doesn’t happen?

Women stay in abusive relationships. It’s sad, but it’s true. Just because two are married doesn’t mean the man can’t force himself on her and rape her.

 

[GodsGrace]

Not every relationship between a marriage is healthy. Not every woman has sexual desires or sexual intimacy may be painful.
What of the drunk who comes home, beats his wife and pins her on the bed to have his way? Do you honestly think this doesn’t happen?

Women stay in abusive relationships. It’s sad, but it’s true. Just because two are married doesn’t mean the man can’t force himself on her and rape her.

That's an abusive relationship...it's not rape.

IOW, after the unwanted sex, does the wife call the police and get taken to the hospital?
No.
In a rape situation, that's what would happen.


However, in such a situatin, the WIFE should do something, this is another problem which is very complicated
and is different.

 

[GodsGrace]

Not every relationship between a marriage is healthy. Not every woman has sexual desires or sexual intimacy may be painful.
What of the drunk who comes home, beats his wife and pins her on the bed to have his way? Do you honestly think this doesn’t happen?

Women stay in abusive relationships. It’s sad, but it’s true. Just because two are married doesn’t mean the man can’t force himself on her and rape her.

I think comparing rape with marital abuse is demeaning to rape victims.

 

[Edward]

You’ve already corrected yourself that you used a poor choice of words. You did not “rape” her.

Your story speaks of our sin nature and our desires of the flesh. While I’m certain you both enjoyed the moment, it was just that… a moment that did not last the test of time. If it had, you two would have become “one”. But neither of you were ever “one” as you both operated out of your own flesh and you each received your reward in the flesh which vanishes like a vapor. It doesn’t sustain the deeper things our sexuality has to offer when a man and a woman do become one in not only flesh, but also emotionally and spiritually which lasts the test of time.

To be honest Edward, your childhood memory was seeped in sexual sin. It’s not what God wanted from either of you.

Oh Brother, why did you go there?! I was trying to be kind to her by speaking of her third person and the respect and love I have for the girl by not saying who it was. I just said, a long time ago a girlfriend and I would have been grateful for it be left at that. But since you have put me on the spot because the coffe is good this morning and you saw a flaw in my story, I will tell you. She is the one who later became my wife. She did divore me, 26 years later. We did become one. For awhile at least until the world pulled her away. but she grew out of that stuff, asking for that. She grew up and is a fine respectable girl. Catholic. Pray for her.

Lol.

 

[D-D-W]

I find it interesting that a MAN wants to explain to a WOMAN what rape is.
Some men have experienced rape...but it's not something they go around worrying about in their daily lives.
In colleges, the girls get raped, not the boys.

The word comes from the French name for a particular kind of sword, the rapier.

It always involves penetration, so it is next to impossible for a female to rape anyone. That is why many states now use terminology like "criminal sexual behavior" rather than "rape" to describe sexual assault.

FYI, in case you were wondering, I support the death penalty for rape, including that being discussed here; a husband raping his wife.

 

[D-D-W]

Not every relationship between a marriage is healthy.

Most marriages have unhealthy aspects, some more than others.

Not every woman has sexual desires or sexual intimacy may be painful.

True, but IMO that is a cultural thing. The bible is written from the standpoint that it is the woman with the higher sex drive and men are the ones welching on keeping them satisfied. From first century Judea, there are many extant Ketubot, or marriage contracts. A major part of every one is how often the husband is to provide sexual satisfaction to his wife, and it was usually based on his occupation. If his work was light, it was every day. There are also records of law suits from those days and a large portion of them were women seeking more sex from their husbands, whether making them live up to their contractual obligation or to change jobs to give them more time and energy for sex. Or to get the court to force them to divorce. As it was eventually enshrined in the Talmuds:

Sex is a wife's right and a husband's responsibility; NOT the other way around.

What of the drunk who comes home, beats his wife and pins her on the bed to have his way?

As I said earlier, that should call for the death penalty for him.

 

[jasonc]

The word comes from the French name for a particular kind of sword, the rapier.

It always involves penetration, so it is next to impossible for a female to rape anyone. That is why many states now use terminology like "criminal sexual behavior" rather than "rape" to describe sexual assault.

FYI, in case you were wondering, I support the death penalty for rape, including that being discussed here; a husband raping his wife.

You mean as the attacker .

A man can be sodomized .

 

[GodsGrace]

The word comes from the French name for a particular kind of sword, the rapier.

It always involves penetration, so it is next to impossible for a female to rape anyone. That is why many states now use terminology like "criminal sexual behavior" rather than "rape" to describe sexual assault.

FYI, in case you were wondering, I support the death penalty for rape, including that being discussed here; a husband raping his wife.

Well, actually, I'm ALWAYS Wondering!

I don't know what's going on DDW.
I've been over here 23 years now.
To me CRIMNAL SEXUAL BEHAVIOR could or could NOT be rape.

I don't think I'm for the death penalty for anything.
Except maybe for killing guards in prison or there would be no order.

OK.
We will agree to disagree.

 

[Highway54]

Can a man RAPE his wife?

Before you answer please watch this...

www.bit.ly/man_rape_wife

Although each partner is to render the other their due, not always are couples in harmony, or may even be hurt by sexual action at the particular time. So I am going to put my 2cents in here with a yes.

 

[GodsGrace]

Although each partner is to render the other their due, not always are couples in harmony, or may even be hurt by sexual action at the particular time. So I am going to put my 2cents in here with a yes.

Noted.
Who cares what a woman thinks!

You guys sure don't understand what rape is...
and with that, I'm outta here.

(except for Edward)

 

[Edward]

FYI, in case you were wondering, I support the death penalty for rape, including that being discussed here; a husband raping his wife.

What would be the threshold of rape be? Ok we know, don't go too far. But how far is too far and who is the judge of it?

Because All men have been told I have a headache, not tonight by their wife. Even I remember being told this. Sometimes I let her sleep. Sometimes I persisted and did have my way. But she was not raped. More like it was a concession by her. There were times that I could not sleep because of pent up tension from the day and being able to relieve myself sexually always released much tension, and I slept much better for it. She did me a good turn by conceding to me on those nights where she didn't desire intimacy but I couldn't sleep. So she conceded for me and I appreciated that. There were times when she really really didn't want to and would take no for an answer if she turned me down 3 times. She must really have had a hard day today, ok go to sleep then.

But! We have all already heard of cases where, my husband raped me. I know I have. If women get mad at a man they have been known to use their I'm just a defensless girl and was taken advabtage of...as a weapon against men. They cam lie and say he took me when I didn't consent just to get revenge on him for whatever. So in the cases of my husband raped me...who is the judge of saying the man did wrong? Or even was it in fact consensual on any level? No witnesses and lying wives. Maybe two times until you back off of her saying no is better than 3 times, lol!

 

[jasonc]

Well, actually, I'm ALWAYS Wondering!

I don't know what's going on DDW.
I've been over here 23 years now.
To me CRIMNAL SEXUAL BEHAVIOR could or could NOT be rape.

I don't think I'm for the death penalty for anything.
Except maybe for killing guards in prison or there would be no order.

OK.
We will agree to disagree.

So a rapist upon timed served should be trusted again ?

Technically the guy who raped my sister was a pedophile.she was 12.

The inmates would have carried out justice for her .