Therefore, it is my belief that your leaders, as sincere as they may be, could be teaching a form of Mormonism, and do not know it.
Compare that above with this:
Titus 3:4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,
5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;
7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
8 This is a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works
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Notice that in verse 5, while regeneration by Holy Spirit is indeed mentioned, it comes AFTER salvation
The pattern established in Ephesians says TWICE that salvation comes ONLY by grace (hence my user name)
Ephesians 2:5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)
6 And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
7 That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
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In this passage, there is nothing attached to grace; as a result it is alone in salvation with nothing to accompany it. Thus this passage would agree with the Titus passage if one insists that salvation is only and always a matter of unmerited favor.
But only by ignoring the word order in Titus 3:5 could one come to the conclusion that "regeneration of Holy Spirit" (an undefined phrase, thus not precise) comes before salvation. Additionally, that would be a contradictory statement to Ephesians 2:5 & 8,9
Now, what should you do? Study the Bible and read about "salvation by grace" and pray, taking notes on what you learned , THEN take action, and ask hubby (if you have one) what he thinks of your study notes. Talk to seasoned elders and other believers about your learning ask for correct advice. BTW if anyone tries to lay a guilt trip on you for Scripture study, that person's advice is always wrong.
Here is a quote from Lorraine Beottner (a guy) that I like.
If salvation is of grace, as the Scriptures so clearly teach, it cannot be of works, whether actual or foreseen. There is no merit in believing, for faith itself is a gift of God. God gives His people an inward working of the Spirit in order that they may believe, and faith is only the act of receiving the proffered gift. It is, then, only the instrumental cause, and not the meritorious cause, of salvation. What God loves in us is not our own merits, but His own gift; for His unmerited grace precedes our meritorious works. Grace is not merely bestowed when we pray for it, but grace itself causes us to pray for its continuance and increase.
In the book of The Acts we find that the very inception of faith itself is assigned to grace (18:27); only those who were ordained to eternal life believed (13:48); and it is God’s prerogative to open the heart so that it gives heed to the gospel (16:14). Faith is thus referred to the counsels of eternity, the events in time being only the out-working. Paul attributes it to the grace of God that we are “His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God afore prepared that we should walk in them,” Eph. 2:10. Good works, then, are in no sense the meritorious ground but rather the fruits and proof of salvation.
from
http://www.the-highway.com/sgrace_Boettner.html
Hope this helps.