Having Sex Before You Say I Do With Your Spouse Before You Marry Them!

[iLOVE]

I always wonder why people who insist they are completely devoted to each other as in a marriage and, therefore, consider their relationship a marriage don't just go ahead and get married. I mean, if it really is the way they say it is, it should not be a big deal. And it's also interesting to see that when things go wrong they suddenly exercise their privilege to not be married.

Jesus sheds light on this subject for us. When he told the woman at the well to go get her husband....well, let's just read the story:

"15The woman said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, so I will not be thirsty nor come all the way here to draw.” 16He said to her, “Go, call your husband and come here.” 17The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’; 18for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly.”" (John 4:15-18 NASB)

Jesus recognized that there was something different about the relationship she was having with the man "whom you now have" (vs.18). But if it can be argued that simply being with someone constitutes a marriage then Jesus would not have been correct in saying "the one whom you now have is not your husband". He would have said, "Oh, that's cool that you're together. Besides what does a piece of paper, or a ceremony, or some kind of official joining together mean anyway, right? Now, go get the big lug and bring him here." No, instead he says she is correct in saying that she has no husband, even though she is with someone.

Everyone should read what this Brother has written! Amen

 

[Obadiah]

Exactly! To me, not getting married suggests that they aren't as committed as they say they are. They're still holding out the option to not be together. Just my opinion.

Well in that scenario if I understand correctly he hasn't yet offered them that option so we don't know that they would turn it down. The reason they haven't gotten legally married is a secular law that would be financially devastating to them should they get legally married. I didn't get the impression they were just some impatient young people looking for and excuse to sleep around without being made to feel guilty about it. But I agree with you, if given the chance I would think they would jump at it if they are truly committed to marriage and their only reason for not doing it legally is the financial situation.

 

[ezra]

I'm sure if they want to be married, they want to be sexually intimate. Otherwise why worry about it? It's no sin to live together, or even to sleep in the same bed when these terms are used to mean exactly what they say. The question only comes up if they are being used as euphemisms for having sex.

Seems to me if they are serious they would love to have you do a ceremony for them!

i can say they was deeply concerned they did not feel comfortable talking to the pastor. he is southern baptist she is general baptist. she is distant relation to me probably like 3rd cousin twice removed lol. no i think her dad and my dad was cousins .none of us know what makes a marriage in God eyes . any more marriage means nothing..

 

[Obadiah]

Well I still like your idea of doing a ceremony for them. I see nothing in scripture requiring permission or licensing from the government.

 

[th1b.taylor]

Jocor, especially but for all.

Marriage is an institution set and instituted by God, period! Now, if we return to the Bible, God's instruction to and for us we find no preacher, judge nor a JP when Adam and Eve were married. To be blunt and brash about it, they lay down together, coupled and were married, they became one.

Diane Cook, you are a woman after the heart of God! That said, I have been teaching Biblical Marriage for over twenty years years now and when I do I base the lesson on Adam and Eve, Caine and his relative/wife and Jacob/Israel and his wives.

I read some of the first page of this and sure enough a Legalist jump in the middle of Miss Cook and hit her with the undefined term Fornification.

Before the use of such biblical terms as Fornicating, we all must use the scripture, all sixty-six books of it to define the term in God's words, not out of some imagined definition we dreamed up nor one we received from some preacher in the Pulpit, it must come from the Word of God, Prayed over, meditated over and the answer given when God figures you have tusseled with it long enough.

This will make most of this forum mad enough to strangle me but, God hates divorce and all a couple need do toi be married is to lay down in the back seat of some car pull one anothers clothes off and we all are big enough that we know the rest because all here have sinned and 99.9% of us admit this sin and can we ever be sure of the tenth of one percent claiming holiness?

The teen agers in the back seat fulfilled the same ceremony as did Adam and Eve, as did Israel and Rebeka and as did millions of young men and women for a few thousand years now. If the Butt Hole man walks on her, he has thrown her into the sin of fornication, an illegal divorce, one not sanctioned by our God.

Well, that ought to give someone something to discuss.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Jocor, especially but for all.

Marriage is an institution set and instituted by God, period! Now, if we return to the Bible, God's instruction to and for us we find no preacher, judge nor a JP when Adam and Eve were married. To be blunt and brash about it, they lay down together, coupled and were married, they became one.

Diane Cook, you are a woman after the heart of God! That said, I have been teaching Biblical Marriage for over twenty years years now and when I do I base the lesson on Adam and Eve, Caine and his relative/wife and Jacob/Israel and his wives.

I read some of the first page of this and sure enough a Legalist jump in the middle of Miss Cook and hit her with the undefined term Fornification.

Before the use of such biblical terms as Fornicating, we all must use the scripture, all sixty-six books of it to define the term in God's words, not out of some imagined definition we dreamed up nor one we received from some preacher in the Pulpit, it must come from the Word of God, Prayed over, meditated over and the answer given when God figures you have tusseled with it long enough.

This will make most of this forum mad enough to strangle me but, God hates divorce and all a couple need do toi be married is to lay down in the back seat of some car pull one anothers clothes off and we all are big enough that we know the rest because all here have sinned and 99.9% of us admit this sin and can we ever be sure of the tenth of one percent claiming holiness?

The teen agers in the back seat fulfilled the same ceremony as did Adam and Eve, as did Israel and Rebeka and as did millions of young men and women for a few thousand years now. If the Butt Hole man walks on her, he has thrown her into the sin of fornication, an illegal divorce, one not sanctioned by our God.

Well, that ought to give someone something to discuss.

But, sadly, what this means is I was committing adultery when I married my wife because I was already married to another.

 

[th1b.taylor]

But, sadly, what this means is I was committing adultery when I married my wife because I was already married to another.

And sadly, I must stand right there beside you!

 

[Jethro Bodine]

And sadly, I must stand right there beside you!

Then you and I are in illegitimate marriages. I don't believe that. IOW, we're not really married to our wives.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

If I'm not mistaken, the Bible says the man who has sex with an available woman must marry her. It does not say he is married to her because they had sex.

"28“If a man finds a girl who is a virgin, who is not engaged, and seizes her and lies with her and they are discovered, 29then the man who lay with her shall give to the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall become his wife because he has violated her; he cannot divorce her all his days." (Deuteronomy 22:28-29 NASB)

This suggest to me that the simple act of having sex does not constitute marriage in the eyes of God. She is not automatically his wife because they had sex.

 

[iLOVE]

Matthew 5:27-28 NKJV - Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery. 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

 

[jocor]

Jocor, especially but for all.

Marriage is an institution set and instituted by God, period! Now, if we return to the Bible, God's instruction to and for us we find no preacher, judge nor a JP when Adam and Eve were married. To be blunt and brash about it, they lay down together, coupled and were married, they became one.

. . .
The teen agers in the back seat fulfilled the same ceremony as did Adam and Eve, as did Israel and Rebeka and as did millions of young men and women for a few thousand years now. If the Butt Hole man walks on her, he has thrown her into the sin of fornication, an illegal divorce, one not sanctioned by our God.

Well, that ought to give someone something to discuss.

The first mention of Adam and Eve having relations is found in Gen 4:1 where it says Adam knew his "wife". It doesn't say he knew Eve or he knew the woman. She was already his wife when he knew her.

As for Rebekah, she and her family agreed that she would become Isaac's
wife long before she had relations with Isaac. It was prearranged.

Anyone who has sex with someone that they are not married to commits the sin of fornication. I am not a "Legalist" as you called me, just a man who passed Bible 101.

 

[JLB]

I would think not. At the very least they should do a private ceremony of sorts and go before God in prayer, both the man & woman and declare the marriage intent and dedicate same marriage to God. Then I would feel married.

Exactly. Man and woman, bowing down before God and asking His blessing upon their lives, and acknowledging their intent to each other as husband and wife, and to dedicate their children to Him, and raise them up in the ways of the Lord.


Of course if they are not Christian, then none of this matters.


JLB

 

[JLB]

And that's another great point. When you can now legally marry your dog, what value is in that paper anymore anyway.

Yes sir.

That was my point.

It comes down to what is in their heart.


JLB

 

[dianegcook]

Jocor, especially but for all.

Marriage is an institution set and instituted by God, period! Now, if we return to the Bible, God's instruction to and for us we find no preacher, judge nor a JP when Adam and Eve were married. To be blunt and brash about it, they lay down together, coupled and were married, they became one.

Diane Cook, you are a woman after the heart of God! That said, I have been teaching Biblical Marriage for over twenty years years now and when I do I base the lesson on Adam and Eve, Caine and his relative/wife and Jacob/Israel and his wives.

I read some of the first page of this and sure enough a Legalist jump in the middle of Miss Cook and hit her with the undefined term Fornification.

Before the use of such biblical terms as Fornicating, we all must use the scripture, all sixty-six books of it to define the term in God's words, not out of some imagined definition we dreamed up nor one we received from some preacher in the Pulpit, it must come from the Word of God, Prayed over, meditated over and the answer given when God figures you have tusseled with it long enough.

This will make most of this forum mad enough to strangle me but, God hates divorce and all a couple need do toi be married is to lay down in the back seat of some car pull one anothers clothes off and we all are big enough that we know the rest because all here have sinned and 99.9% of us admit this sin and can we ever be sure of the tenth of one percent claiming holiness?

The teen agers in the back seat fulfilled the same ceremony as did Adam and Eve, as did Israel and Rebeka and as did millions of young men and women for a few thousand years now. If the Butt Hole man walks on her, he has thrown her into the sin of fornication, an illegal divorce, one not sanctioned by our God.

Well, that ought to give someone something to discuss.

Awww

Jocor, especially but for all.

Marriage is an institution set and instituted by God, period! Now, if we return to the Bible, God's instruction to and for us we find no preacher, judge nor a JP when Adam and Eve were married. To be blunt and brash about it, they lay down together, coupled and were married, they became one.

Diane Cook, you are a woman after the heart of God! That said, I have been teaching Biblical Marriage for over twenty years years now and when I do I base the lesson on Adam and Eve, Caine and his relative/wife and Jacob/Israel and his wives.

I read some of the first page of this and sure enough a Legalist jump in the middle of Miss Cook and hit her with the undefined term Fornification.

Before the use of such biblical terms as Fornicating, we all must use the scripture, all sixty-six books of it to define the term in God's words, not out of some imagined definition we dreamed up nor one we received from some preacher in the Pulpit, it must come from the Word of God, Prayed over, meditated over and the answer given when God figures you have tusseled with it long enough.

This will make most of this forum mad enough to strangle me but, God hates divorce and all a couple need do toi be married is to lay down in the back seat of some car pull one anothers clothes off and we all are big enough that we know the rest because all here have sinned and 99.9% of us admit this sin and can we ever be sure of the tenth of one percent claiming holiness?

The teen agers in the back seat fulfilled the same ceremony as did Adam and Eve, as did Israel and Rebeka and as did millions of young men and women for a few thousand years now. If the Butt Hole man walks on her, he has thrown her into the sin of fornication, an illegal divorce, one not sanctioned by our God.

Well, that ought to give someone something to discuss.

Awww

 

[th1b.taylor]

The first mention of Adam and Eve having relations is found in Gen 4:1 where it says Adam knew his "wife". It doesn't say he knew Eve or he knew the woman. She was already his wife when he knew her.

As for Rebekah, she and her family agreed that she would become Isaac's
wife long before she had relations with Isaac. It was prearranged.

Anyone who has sex with someone that they are not married to commits the sin of fornication. I am not a "Legalist" as you called me, just a man who passed Bible 101.

Nothing to define your stance and no need for comment.

 

[Warrior4Jesus]

I guess I've always believed similarly with Diane. If it's a continuous monogamous relationship the paper logistics of it are of no consequence. I believe God ever so able to see the heart or intent blesses each union according to the intent. Clearly He would not bless a physical union but surely he would one of mutual Love and commitment. Some churches won't marry a man and a woman unless they have been together for so long or unless they have been a member of their church for so long. I had to have a local guy marry my wife and I in our home because no church would do it for us. I defy anyone to say the love my wife and I have isn't genuine and that God opposes us. It's not the church's responsibility to say what is and isn't concerning a man and a woman's love for one another. God's word is another thing and I didn't see anywhere that said irrefutably there must be a ceremony. Only according to the law should such paperwork exist. Just my thoughts.

 

[jocor]

Nothing to define your stance and no need for comment.

Jethro already defined the Biblical stance in post #49.

My apology for the sarcastic comment in my last post. I am so tired of people calling me a "Legalist" or a "Pharisee" simply because I keep a few more commandments than they do. The higher road for me would have been to suffer unjustly. Please forgive me.

 

[JLB]

The first mention of Adam and Eve having relations is found in Gen 4:1 where it says Adam knew his "wife". It doesn't say he knew Eve or he knew the woman. She was already his wife when he knew her.

It would be kind of hard for Adam to have committed fornication or adultery, since Eve was the only woman on earth at that time.

The first family was unique in a lot of ways.

Eve was taken out of Adam, so that was unique to all other relationships.

Another unique relationship was the offspring of their children.


And Cain knew his wife, and she conceived and bore Enoch. And he built a city, and called the name of the city after the name of his son—Enoch. Genesis 4:17

Where did Cain's wife come from?


And Adam called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living. Genesis 3:20

Cains wife came from Eve, and was his sister.


Does that mean we can marry our sister, if we have a ceremony and a marriage license?


Although you make a good point, concerning Adam knew his wife, and she was called his wife before they had sexual intercourse, their situation was truly unique.




JLB

 

[th1b.taylor]

Jethro already defined the Biblical stance in post #49.

My apology for the sarcastic comment in my last post. I am so tired of people calling me a "Legalist" or a "Pharisee" simply because I keep a few more commandments than they do. The higher road for me would have been to suffer unjustly. Please forgive me.

You keeping Commandments and my keeping Commandments does not Legalism manufacture. Asserting, intentionally or unintentionally makes one a Legalist! I repeatedly have and do teach the importance of the Ten Commandments but I do not assert all must obey the Letter of the Law, just the Spirit of the Law. Teaching the Letter makes the teaching Legalism.

 

[th1b.taylor]

Jethro already defined the Biblical stance in post #49.

My apology for the sarcastic comment in my last post. I am so tired of people calling me a "Legalist" or a "Pharisee" simply because I keep a few more commandments than they do. The higher road for me would have been to suffer unjustly. Please forgive me.

Sorry, old brains and train of thought.
Jethro defining where your brain is is much akin to me doing a successful Brain Transplant on you! And I repeat, With you defining your term usage with the scriptures, you have no point to make.

Here we find ourselves in the middle of the Parenting And Marriage Forum buried inside the Christian Forums... Bible Based Instruction and definition is everything important.