Okay, my wife and I are both approaching our mid 60’s. For the last few months or perhaps even couple years, I find myself being accused of not hearing or ignoring things she has allegedly said to me and it causes strife. Here’s an example.
This morning, I was asked to drive to town, about 3 miles away, to drop something off for our daughter at her hair salon and while in town to pick up a couple things we need. Here’s how I remember the chain of events.
I got about 1/2 mile from home and my wife called to add that I pick up a package of Always for her mother who is staying with us for a short time. I told her to text me with the request because I wasn’t quite clear about what she needed. When I got to town, I read her text message and determined what she wanted was Always Discreet underwear for her elderly mother who is staying with us for a short time. There were two other brands available, Depends and Composure, but not the brand she asked for. Past experience has taught me that it is best not to use my judgment in this situation so I sent her a text and told her they did not have the brand she wanted and explained what they did have. She replied to get the Depends Overnight in XL size Unfortunately, they only had the daytime version and did not have the overnight version. It was a 50:50 shot that I would do the right thing, either get the wrong version which would have been rejected or get nothing since they didn't have the right thing.
When I got home and told them that they didn’t have the overnight variety she got hostile and claimed that she told me that her mom needed them and that I should have got the daytime variety anyway. I have absolutely zero recollection of her saying that to me and when I told her that, she claimed she told me this before I left to go to town. The first recollection I have of her even mentioning getting these items was when I got her phone call on my way to town.
This is the kind of thing that happens somewhat regularly in our household. Could she be correct that my memory is failing and becoming that selective? I suppose, but normally if I forget something and then later reminded I am able to recall it. In these situations, I honestly have no recollection whatsoever even after being “reminded.”
Here’s the catch. Due to a back injury that occurred over 10 years ago, she daily takes a lot of medications including narcotic pain killers, anxiety meds, anti-depressants, and others. She has experienced short-term memory loss that our daughters have witnessed for themselves like doing something and moments later not remembering that it was done.
My question is, how do I best handle this? I usually try to defend myself and tell her she did not say this or that but she won’t accept that defense so it becomes her word against mine which rarely goes well. In the end I usually, but not always, just take the blame and let it go.
