How exactly is Divorce without cause and remarriage NOT ADULTERY?

[for_his_glory]

Praise GOD! I wish I could hug you in real life. Brilliant!
I think when we're in really bad relationships, women tend to hold on because they think if they just work at the relationship it will get better. A wise woman once said, when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

I was watching a documentary about the OJ Simpson case last year. Nicole Brown was dating OJ when he was still married to his first wife. They weren't separated , they still lived as husband and wife. This Nicole knew.
One day Nicole showed up at a friends and he noticed she was bruised. OJ did it, she said. He got mad.
Then , to apologize, he bought her a new car. And she stayed. Then she married him.

When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them. Or it could cost a life.
God have mercy.

At first when we started dating he told me he was a Christian even though neither one of us were attending any Church at the time. What he didn't tell me and hid it at first was that he was and alcoholic and a drug user. After we said our "I do's" it was like I married Satan. I prayed and tried for two years to get him back into AA. He did go to church with me a few times and that gave me hope, but it was only to appease me. If I had a nickle for all the times he said he was sorry and the beatings would stop I would be rich by now. I had already went through one divorce and really wanted this marriage to work, but when it comes to life and death I chose life.

I say it was God that got me a way out as I had no money, no car. Wasn't even on his bank account. He got a check for 300 dollars that day and we opened a joint checking account (God working). After he went to work I called the airlines for the price of a one way ticket and yep, it was 300 dollars exactly. (God making a way where there was no way). The rest is history and I still pray for him.

 

[Papyrus_dust]

At first when we started dating he told me he was a Christian even though neither one of us were attending any Church at the time. What he didn't tell me and hid it at first was that he was and alcoholic and a drug user. After we said our "I do's" it was like I married Satan. I prayed and tried for two years to get him back into AA. He did go to church with me a few times and that gave me hope, but it was only to appease me. If I had a nickle for all the times he said he was sorry and the beatings would stop I would be rich by now. I had already went through one divorce and really wanted this marriage to work, but when it comes to life and death I chose life.

I say it was God that got me a way out as I had no money, no car. Wasn't even on his bank account. He got a check for 300 dollars that day and we opened a joint checking account (God working). After he went to work I called the airlines for the price of a one way ticket and yep, it was 300 dollars exactly. (God making a way where there was no way). The rest is history and I still pray for him.

I admire that and it is something that should be done. As much as he put you through imagine what he lives inside himself. And likely what he suffered growing up so as to become a man like that. Very sad all the way around.

Yes, I agree, God working. I love it when I can see God's work in my life. Things fall into place that should not under normal conditions. And yet there it is and it is just right.
God speaks to us all the time. The gift is hearing him, or seeing his work right before our eyes even in the turmoil or chaos of living it.

2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

The couple I shared about being Christian, the man in that scenario was raised Catholic. He and his siblings were abused in every way but sexually by their parents who considered themselves very devout.The mother was deeply committed to the church. Too bad she wasn't deeply committed to being a decent parent. Or her husband.
They beat their kids severely, and verbally and emotionally abused them. They were told the reason being the parents were held accountable to God for insuring they get the children be worthy of obtaining their crowns in Heaven.
The parents didn't think that when the boys in the family grew up they'd treat their women in a way that would threaten to send them there early.
And when the wives of those men would seek counsel from that mother-in-law, it was of no use. The woman was to be subject to the husband as his property. Her body wasn't her own , it belonged to him.

When I heard that part of that woman's advice to my friend I couldn't help but think of the lunatic Muslim males who believe they're allowed to beat their wives because the Koran gives express instructions and guidelines in the proper Allah approved, "how-to".

Then I recall that made for TV movie that starred Farrah Fawcett and entitled, The Burning Bed. Based on a true story.

 

[WIP]

The last straw was when he tried to chock me out. I waited till he went to work and called my sister to come and get me. Then I moved back to PA and left him in Texas. It was a few months later that I filed for divorce, but was ten years later that I found the man God truly wanted me to be with and will celebrate our 20th anniversary Jan 3.

With all due respect, how do you determine whether a marriage was ordained by God? Is it possible that you are justifying your remarriage by convincing yourself that God ordained the second one but not the first. I'm not asking these questions to put you on the defensive for I truly feel sorry for what you had to live with but this is the Theology forum and what we think or feel has nothing to do with what God truly ordains. I can only find one example in Scripture where a divorce is justifiable and that being sexual immorality or fornication, Matthew 5:32.

About the only way that I can imagine justifying a divorce for other reasons would be to use the NLT where it says this...
But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.

The question then would be, what does it mean to be unfaithful? Certainly, abuse would be an unfaithful act. The problem is that most of the translations I searched used sexual immorality or fornication or something along those lines. Since I can't read the original text I can only base my understanding on what the scholars have done when they translated the Bible.

 

[Papyrus_dust]

but this is the Theology forum and what we think or feel has nothing to do with what God truly ordains. I can only find one example in Scripture where a divorce is justifiable and that being sexual immorality or fornication, Matthew 5:32.

Wait for it, you'll likely be challenged to provide the scripture that supports that entire post.

I believe if someone is fully compassionate there is no "but" to follow a claim of compassion.

And you'd but have to read this thread to realize you did not have to read far to find there is another justifiable reason to divorce.

what we think or feel has nothing to do with what God truly ordains

That's true. Which means not a one here can question whether or not God ordained for_his_glory's life as it stands now. Because our feelings have no reach into God's purpose. He is God. He does as he will. Psalm 115:3.

 

[billybalke]

Happy to just as soon as everyone else here who did not does so. You'll be posting for that to occur to their quoted remarks, correct? Just to be consistent and not appear bias?
Please read my posting before showing yourself as such. Thank you.

I did read all of your post. I continue to ask for scripture supporting your post.

To be deep in scripture is to cease being Catholic, Protestant (denominational) Jew and Calvinist.
Rom.16:16

 

[for_his_glory]

With all due respect, how do you determine whether a marriage was ordained by God? Is it possible that you are justifying your remarriage by convincing yourself that God ordained the second one but not the first. I'm not asking these questions to put you on the defensive for I truly feel sorry for what you had to live with but this is the Theology forum and what we think or feel has nothing to do with what God truly ordains. I can only find one example in Scripture where a divorce is justifiable and that being sexual immorality or fornication, Matthew 5:32.

About the only way that I can imagine justifying a divorce for other reasons would be to use the NLT where it says this...
But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.

The question then would be, what does it mean to be unfaithful? Certainly, abuse would be an unfaithful act. The problem is that most of the translations I searched used sexual immorality or fornication or something along those lines. Since I can't read the original text I can only base my understanding on what the scholars have done when they translated the Bible.

I'm not justifying anything as I searched the scriptures thoroughly before I divorced my last husband. I can't say all marriages are ordained by God as now years later looking back I know my first two were not.

My marriage now is ordained by God as I wasn't looking to get married again. Under the circumstances that brought me to a church an hour away from where I lived I would find that God had other plans for me as to be married again. After 20 years he is still my gift from God.

Actually Matthew 5:32 was another reason I left the last marriage as he cheated on me all the time and this also freed me from the bonds of that marriage. Most scriptures do speak about sexual immortality, but remains quiet about abuse in the form of physical and mental. I don't think God would want us to stay in an abusive marriage either as abuse is also against the law. It should be reported, but I know if I would have called the police he would have killed me when he got out.

 

[brujaq]

I consider unrepentant sin vs repentant sin in the OP but also 1 Timothy 3 as far as authority in the church .. It doesn't matter to me but people divorce .. I just hate to see one or the other be hurt so bad and that is why I think God hates divorce that so many lives can be hurt by the guilty party ..

 

[Free]

Do you even hear yourself ???

I don't think that you should to take your personal thoughts over Scripture! And I don't think other's should either.

Do you think that God wants people to stay in a marriage where they are physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually abused? What if the abuse extends to their kids, which it always does in one or more forms?

 

[Free]

No I don't. Why do you ask?

Because of your previous response. You think the same as for_his_glory , yet you chastise her for her response.

 

[for_his_glory]

Is no one going to answer the question, if you left your husband for unbiblical reasons meaning not for adultery, but some other reason and have decided to live with another man since then, How are you not the unbelieving spouse that departed that Paul speaks of in Corinthians, as opposed to the believing spouse that would remain celibate (I am assuming so she can pray for her Husband, you know the whole Mystery of one flesh thing) or be reconciled back to her husband?

There are other unbiblical reasons for leaving your spouse other than adultery that scripture is silent about, but yet is an abomination to God.. Leaving your spouse doesn't mean you are unbelieving, but that it is in Gods best interest you need to leave especially when reconciliation does not work.

 

[Papa Zoom]

Where should it be?

That's a good question. Here we're supposed to back up our posts with Scripture. It's more a general chat type of question where real life meets the Bible.

• Original posts should reference specific scripture and what it is the member wants to say or ask about that scripture.
• Do not make the unsupported claim that another member's position has no basis in scripture. If you believe that someone is in error you must respectfully cite scripture to support your assertion.

None of what I posted was supported by Scripture but I suppose I could have made a case for some of it. It's a philosophical issue. God hates divorce. The two become one. Important stuff. But divorce happens. People remarry. Now what? For me, it's a "where do we go from here?" kind of question.

The Bible has much to say about divorce and none of it is "Yeah, it's fine. If you can't make it work just try again with someone else."

So clearly, the Bible makes a case against divorce. But what do we do when we are faced with circumstances that lead to divorce and maybe those circumstances aren't covered in the biblical exception category? And what do we do with divorce and remarriage ten years after the fact?

I don't pretend to have answers.

 

[ezra]

divorce is a sticky subject much like osas . in our presbytery we had it we would not ordain any person who had been divorced . we changed it to where we would exam the reason ...please do not turn this into married with one wife on preaching , many people make mistakes in marriage taking the wrong person as a spouse .. some get married because there becomes a baby in the making.. some get married out of lust 2.. many get married out of haste . when couples fail to take the vows serious or should i say the marriage .things happen . divorce leaves ugly scars . while we like to pass judgement on divorce .. has any one ever gossiped .o my part it is only by his grace i have mine.. a ugly divorce tool place in my wife family yes the marriage was wrong from all points.. .the had a son together split custody .the mom sent non family to pick the son up from dads. they said only family can. she gets mad goes kicks front door in cussing hitting end results charges filed... a week later the mother dies in a trailer fire the son was rescued .. the man who rescued him that evening killed him self.. let God handle the divorce issue :amen

 

[billybalke]

Perhaps you should discontinue ignoring the postings I've made. And if you wish to demand supporting scripture be afforded opinion, then make sure you are consistent rather than pointedly errant in impartiality.

I previously cited scripture but will do it once more: Matt.5:32 and Matt.19:9. There are others but this suffices. Now, please recite your supporting scripture or scriptures.

Respectfully

 

[JohnDB]

Closing for moderator review.

 

[JohnDB]

Where questions on a very limited basis are allowed these ongoing flaming and flame baiting posts and questions and using scriptures to take cheap shots at one another are not acceptable.

Commenting when you only "feel" the truth but have nothing to add to the discussion in a logical fashion with scriptural support only makes you look bad and you may be subjecting yourself to points.

 

[Edward]

I've never heard of divorce without cause as there has to be a reason why the two divorce.

They give it colorful names nowadays, lol. Like...irreconcilable differences and other deceptive catch phrases. Having no honor would be another way to say it. Not giving honor to the marriage covenant is what it amounts to.

Most people miss the whole point of marriage. It is a teaching tool that God gave to mankind to instill in them the etiquette and protocols of covenant. As in, covenant with God. As the Wife is to the Husband, so is the Husband unto God. That loyal, that helpful, and...there is no quit. Divorce was a concession given to mankind by God (in His infinite mercy!)...but it was not always so.

If a man (or woman) can't be trusted with an earthly marriage covenant, then how much less so, with a divine one? Getting married is becoming family, and family doesn't walk away or have infidelity. Despite what school curriculum's say, lol. They don't teach honor anymore.

 

[Boaz308]

Because of your previous response. You think the same as for_his_glory , yet you chastise her for her response.

The question wasn't about Divorce, see the OP. The Question was not about whether or not you can divorce, that is clearly a liberty given. The question was about remarriage after the divorce. We live in a day and age when people won't endure sound doctrine. You want proof. I posted scripture from the King James Bible on a response. Which has now been deleted. Along with many other posts, that would insinuate that they also believe adultery is a sin. You should consider that long and hard. This is a Christian Forum. The heading is Theology and you are deleting posts that has nothing but scripture! WOW! Well, I will leave you to your self then.

 

[reba]

The question wasn't about Divorce, see the OP. The Question was not about whether or not you can divorce, that is clearly a liberty given. The question was about remarriage after the divorce. We live in a day and age when people won't endure sound doctrine. You want proof. I posted scripture from the King James Bible on a response. Which has now been deleted. Along with many other posts, that would insinuate that they also believe adultery is a sin. You should consider that long and hard. This is a Christian Forum. The heading is Theology and you are deleting posts that has nothing but scripture! WOW! Well, I will leave you to your self then.

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[WIP]

What I'm wondering is that if someone is in an abusive marriage, where in Scripture does it say that this is a valid reason for seeking a divorce? We may not like it but if we are married it is for life and if, while we are married, we leave and seek another relationship we will be guilty of adultery will we not? Unless I can find the Scripture that allows for divorce for any reason except sexual immortality as explained by our Lord, Jesus, my thought is that when we find ourselves in an abusive relationship we have one of two choices; either we stay and deal with it (not likely the best scenario) or we leave the relationship to protect ourselves but we will remain married.

I'm seeking the right answer not based on our feelings but on what God has said through His written word. Can someone show me where I'm wrong?

 

[reba]

Totally agree WIP

For the record i have family members i love that have divorced and remarried...