But we don't need to be miserable, there is a joy in the Lord that cannot be taken away. And I don't see how a spouse can stand in the away of us having a relationship with the Lord, no matter how bad it is, even in the cases of serious abuse.
It goes like this: Matthew 18:9
The passage is hyperbole, but not entirely.
An eye is part of the body; the spouse is also part of the body.
The eye, seldom is a cause for concern other than lust; and generally one can at least close the eye or do something short of cutting it off to stop the issues with lust (men have the problem, and women generally don't -- so if you don't understand what I'm talking about, ask your husband if he has ever involuntarily reacted to a woman's presence because of what he saw of her with his eyes. It's different between men and women, and even sometimes longtime spouses don't realize that there is a real gender reaction difference in the body until they talk about it.)
But, with a spouse -- in abusive situations -- they know their other half's weaknesses and can exploit them, and unlike the devil who can do no more than tempt; the spouse has physical access to the other's body and rights over it.
Consider why Paul says this: 1Corinthians 6:18
And it is herein, that lies an a plethora of ways that a woman or man can sin against their spouse which *is* their own body besides simple adultery. What is masturbation, or what is purposely arousing a spouse to the point of no return -- and then calling them fat, and stopping and walking out of the room? Leaving the other in a position of no return, -- it's anything but joy, I assure you to be left like that. If -- Paul says this regarding the inability to control one's own body: "I do not do what I want, but what I hate." ( Romans 7:19) and he says it over the warring *within* a single body, with a single brain that has all rights; How much more when it's two different people in one flesh? For: Whether eye against the will, or spouse with the husband, or faithless Christian against the gifts of God -- it's the same kind of war.
So, think about it:
Sexuality does things to the brain; it affects it deeply, far more deeply than what is seen with the eye -- and if Paul says *FLEE* fornication, because of what it does to the body -- and fornication is also used to mean the the same as adultery or mixed marriages between Israel and Pagan nations; then consider how serious spousal abuse must be in terms of risk of shipwreck of the faith?
For idols are nothing; nothing at all --but Paul says some are weak, and should not be around idols, or scandal where a strong christian eats meats offered to idols.
And it's true, that Paul says it is better to marry than burn, but would I wold like to add a caveat: better not to marry than both marry
AND burn.
At a certain point, which is not well defined; there is a transition from spouse -- to Baal.
Some spouses are incredibly strong, and their faith and ability may allow them to weather serious abuse; but many are not.
It's not until you find your own mind failing you from abuse, that you can really appreciate that the body is weak even if the spirit is willing. Peter was so sure he could die with Christ, that his joy could never be trampled -- but then, we see him unable to answer Jesus Agape Love for Agape Love in John 21:17 because of his denials; and on the third time, Jesus even questions Peter's "philea" Love. Check the Greek -- that's why Peter *totally* panics.
Fear of being beaten to death, sexual abuse, these things are on par with the temptation to abandon the Lord that Peter faced over crucifixion; and surely, there is forgiveness with the Lord, and joy in that forgiveness.... but look at a realistic case, even in forgiveness can come panic.
Lord I can do all things with your grace, but Lord -- must you really make me do
all things ?!