How to become a submissive wife?

[Deborah13]

Umm, What do you do Turtle when the Husband displays past things that trigger former emotions you know you should control?

Having a non-Spiritual husband has to be bad if your a Spirit filled christian women. What is the dividing line between a wife wanting peace and to serve God if the Husband can't even hear God?

We know it's important to be led by God before you marry anyone, make sure it's God. That is so often not the case though in bad marriages.

You are correct.

So many marriages began when neither spouse was a believer. Then one comes to the Lord and the other doesn't understand or doesn't want anything to do with submitting to God. They want to keep living the kind of life that the believing spouse can't, in good conscious, take part in. Some can live in peace but to others the entrance of the Lord into the spouse's life is like a thorn that they just want to get rid of. For the believing spouse it can be like walking a tight rope.

 

[Brother Mike]

You are correct.

So many marriages began when neither spouse was a believer. Then one comes to the Lord and the other doesn't understand or doesn't want anything to do with submitting to God. They want to keep living the kind of life that the believing spouse can't, in good conscious, take part in. Some can live in peace but to others the entrance of the Lord into the spouse's life is like a thorn that they just want to get rid of. For the believing spouse it can be like walking a tight rope.

Thank you Sister. I don't have the answer, but I don't like seeing someone out of the will of God because of someone they allow in their life. Spouses included.

One word of faith women was believing God, and confessing scripture that Her Husband is a Godly man, and bla, bla, bla, but with bruises up and down her arm.

Faith is great, I am the first to say Believe, but scripture says, "How do you know spouse that thou wilt save thy husband" If the Holy Spirit says he don't know, then what basis for belief do we have to stand on something like that?

We believe according to scripture, and even Jesus said give the tree another year, put dung around it, give it a chance to grow and if it don't produce fruit, cast it into the fire.

when I prison my wife was with another man. Painful, but the Lord told me, stop confessing for Carol to come back, instead confess the Lord will bring into my hands a Godly wife, who serves the Lord together with you.

it took a bit, but when I was ready to stop praying for the wife, and let her Go the Lord said don't, keep her for she has hearkened unto me.

I just don't believe it's the will of God for a women to have to endure constant opposition to serving God to her full capacity. When she stands before the Lord, the Husband won't be around to take the blame for anything. I am against divorce, but I am MORE against not doing the will of God.

Thank you again for responding.

Mike.

 

[Cturtle]

Thank you Sister. I don't have the answer, but I don't like seeing someone out of the will of God because of someone they allow in their life. Spouses included.

One word of faith women was believing God, and confessing scripture that Her Husband is a Godly man, and bla, bla, bla, but with bruises up and down her arm.

Faith is great, I am the first to say Believe, but scripture says, "How do you know spouse that thou wilt save thy husband" If the Holy Spirit says he don't know, then what basis for belief do we have to stand on something like that?

We believe according to scripture, and even Jesus said give the tree another year, put dung around it, give it a chance to grow and if it don't produce fruit, cast it into the fire.

when I prison my wife was with another man. Painful, but the Lord told me, stop confessing for Carol to come back, instead confess the Lord will bring into my hands a Godly wife, who serves the Lord together with you.

it took a bit, but when I was ready to stop praying for the wife, and let her Go the Lord said don't, keep her for she has hearkened unto me.

I just don't believe it's the will of God for a women to have to endure constant opposition to serving God to her full capacity. When she stands before the Lord, the Husband won't be around to take the blame for anything. I am against divorce, but I am MORE against not doing the will of God.

Thank you again for responding.

Mike.

To respond to your other post...... easier is not always better. The road to Christ is narrow, we find that in scripture. And when a woman who truly believes that God can work things out for her good because He loves her, can have such a wonderfully close walk with the Lord, that others would just dream of having. And as she does things in God's ways and timing, she finds favor with God and it allows God to move on her behalf.

I think as we read 1 peter 3:1-5 it answers the basic question regarding what the next step is if a woman has come to Christ before her husband. Adding a physically abusive husband, just brings a slightly different speed bump if you will to the table. I believe that it depends upon the woman's faith, and trust in the Lord. If she believes that God can surround her with ps 91, then her angels can provide that protection from the abuse. If it is verbal abuse..she can be trusting the Lord to shut the mouth of the lion, just like God did for Daniel. (I have seen this happen personally)

Now if she is not able to operate in this way, then my suggestion would be to go to a safe place where the husband cannot touch her...but she must remain faithful and be in constant prayer and fellowship with the Lord. She needs to be ministered to and get some Biblically sound instruction for healing her emotions and such. In that time God can and will be dealing with the husband (much like your situation Mike). If the husband refuses to submit to God, then i believe that God will release her because He loves her and has her best interest at heart.

But honestly before any advice be given one should be praying for the correct answer....which will always line up with the Word of God.

One of the keys to this all working is the woman's faith...for we need faith to make the connection (just like with healing). And we must be committed to obeying the Lord, and speaking only what God's Word says to speak (this i have personally experienced in my own life).

A person cannot go around asking for God's intervention, and then constantly curse her husband, by saying how lousy and mean and whatever that he is. These words will only keep the cycle from being broken. One must speak those things that be not as though they were. Find all of the scriptures that say all of the good things that God desires for her husband to be. And be constantly be praying for God to fill him with Godly wisdom, and revelation knowledge...plus binding the strongman from keeping him from receiving Jesus, and praying to the Lord of the harvest to get laborers across his path with the Word of God.

Blessings to you all! May the Lord richly give you an abundant supply of grace, love, joy, peace and hope!

 

[Brother Mike]

To respond to your other post...... easier is not always better. The road to Christ is narrow, we find that in scripture. And when a woman who truly believes that God can work things out for her good because He loves her, can have such a wonderfully close walk with the Lord, that others would just dream of having. And as she does things in God's ways and timing, she finds favor with God and it allows God to move on her behalf.

I think as we read 1 peter 3:1-5 it answers the basic question regarding what the next step is if a woman has come to Christ before her husband. Adding a physically abusive husband, just brings a slightly different speed bump if you will to the table. I believe that it depends upon the woman's faith, and trust in the Lord. If she believes that God can surround her with ps 91, then her angels can provide that protection from the abuse. If it is verbal abuse..she can be trusting the Lord to shut the mouth of the lion, just like God did for Daniel. (I have seen this happen personally)

Now if she is not able to operate in this way, then my suggestion would be to go to a safe place where the husband cannot touch her...but she must remain faithful and be in constant prayer and fellowship with the Lord. She needs to be ministered to and get some Biblically sound instruction for healing her emotions and such. In that time God can and will be dealing with the husband (much like your situation Mike). If the husband refuses to submit to God, then i believe that God will release her because He loves her and has her best interest at heart.

But honestly before any advice be given one should be praying for the correct answer....which will always line up with the Word of God.

One of the keys to this all working is the woman's faith...for we need faith to make the connection (just like with healing). And we must be committed to obeying the Lord, and speaking only what God's Word says to speak (this i have personally experienced in my own life).

A person cannot go around asking for God's intervention, and then constantly curse her husband, by saying how lousy and mean and whatever that he is. These words will only keep the cycle from being broken. One must speak those things that be not as though they were. Find all of the scriptures that say all of the good things that God desires for her husband to be. And be constantly be praying for God to fill him with Godly wisdom, and revelation knowledge...plus binding the strongman from keeping him from receiving Jesus, and praying to the Lord of the harvest to get laborers across his path with the Word of God.

Blessings to you all! May the Lord richly give you an abundant supply of grace, love, joy, peace and hope!

OK, we understand words mean everything. One women I was consoling would leave notes on her Husbands beer saying, "Is this what the Lord wants in your life?" I told her to stop leaving notes, it was hindering the Lord as the Lord said dwell with them according to knowledge.

We side with anything but what the Lord said, we can't expect everything the Lord has for us. A whole level of faith here, but most women are not at that level or even conceive the idea of it.

So let's say we have the faith down, believe what the Lord said..... He also said.

For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
(1Co 7:16)

In the "Faith" churches we see a move from Calvinism to Armainism. Armainism simple states God knows the end from the beginning, so God must know if I obey and stand and believe, then the spouse will come around.

Foreknowledge V.S Election.

So standing for and believing for a spouse when it says "How do we know?" makes me wonder how much standing is actually enduring things God never wanted us to endure.

If the Holy Spirit don't know if the spouse would be saved, then what basis's are we standing on in faith, with perfect words toward what God said?

 

[reba]

consoling lots of christian women and especially women of any faith type movement, I hear this a lot. We have to walk in faith, we thank God for strength, "Let the weak say I am strong" and so on. I have started to question though, is it freedom, or God's best for someone who has to constantly stand on scriptures to make it through weeks at a time?

No doubt, faith can endure lots of things, but are we designed to have to walk that way constantly, when it's so easy to change the environment?

It is the foundation of Stone..

 

[Cturtle]

OK, we understand words mean everything. One women I was consoling would leave notes on her Husbands beer saying, "Is this what the Lord wants in your life?" I told her to stop leaving notes, it was hindering the Lord as the Lord said dwell with them according to knowledge.

We side with anything but what the Lord said, we can't expect everything the Lord has for us. A whole level of faith here, but most women are not at that level or even conceive the idea of it.

So let's say we have the faith down, believe what the Lord said..... He also said.

For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
(1Co 7:16)

In the "Faith" churches we see a move from Calvinism to Armainism. Armainism simple states God knows the end from the beginning, so God must know if I obey and stand and believe, then the spouse will come around.

Foreknowledge V.S Election.

So standing for and believing for a spouse when it says "How do we know?" makes me wonder how much standing is actually enduring things God never wanted us to endure.

If the Holy Spirit don't know if the spouse would be saved, then what basis's are we standing on in faith, with perfect words toward what God said?

Sounds like your doubt is about to clobber your faith. Love never fails! It is not our job to save anyone. That is God's job. We are to just do what God has commanded us to do. Nothing more and nothing less. Does not mean that we won't miss it sometimes, but that is apart of learning and walking. We just repent and receive our cleansing and move forward.

A woman is not putting her trust in her husband. She is putting her trust in God. And giving her husband the respect due to him, because no matter what the husband is the head of the household. God will deal with that man, and we have to believe that God will intervene on our behalf. If that man never accepts Jesus as Lord and Savior, that is not our concern...that is the man's choice. We can only do our part and trust God to take care of the rest.

If one lets doubt in, then you just become a wave that is tossed back and forth, with no wisdom. So one should just stand on the Word of God... nothing more and nothing less

 

[Deborah13]

It is the foundation of Stone..

I think that is Brother Mike 's point. The foundation of Stone says, Maybe her/his Godly behavior will bring them to salvation. But it is a Maybe.

 

[Brother Mike]

Sounds like your doubt is about to clobber your faith. Love never fails! It is not our job to save anyone. That is God's job. We are to just do what God has commanded us to do. Nothing more and nothing less. Does not mean that we won't miss it sometimes, but that is apart of learning and walking. We just repent and receive our cleansing and move forward.

A woman is not putting her trust in her husband. She is putting her trust in God. And giving her husband the respect due to him, because no matter what the husband is the head of the household. God will deal with that man, and we have to believe that God will intervene on our behalf. If that man never accepts Jesus as Lord and Savior, that is not our concern...that is the man's choice. We can only do our part and trust God to take care of the rest.

If one lets doubt in, then you just become a wave that is tossed back and forth, with no wisdom. So one should just stand on the Word of God... nothing more and nothing less

I am not speaking doubt, I am quoting a scripture. A wife that stands in faith, quotes only scripture over her husband, believes that he will come around is going against what the Holy Spirit said....

How do you know your spouse will be saved?

This is not healing, by his stripes we are healed, already healed, already done.

We are talking about changing a human will toward God.

Now we speak against the enemy, remove the blinders, and that person has truth and light but rejects, then what do we stand on for a spouse that won't serve God?

My rule is that nothing gets in the way of my peace, and nothing gets in the way of hindering the will of God for my life. Spouse, family anyone. You don't conform, your outta here.

Remember Jesus said, put the dung around the tree, give it a chance, if it don't produce fruit, then throw it in the fire.

How far does submission go toward a husband who won't change? I see this issue a lot in the WOF camp.

 

[Brother Mike]

I think that is Brother Mike 's point. The foundation of Stone says, Maybe her/his Godly behavior will bring them to salvation. But it is a Maybe.

Bingo!!!

I am a faith person. I speak to the devil, take the blinder off, only light is in, then I know the devil had to let go, and light is in. A person still has a choice to see the light though and make right choices.

If the dung is already been around the tree a year and the tree does not produce, even Jesus said cast it into the fire, right?
so by faith my prayer is heard the first time, worked and the new dung is around the tree, giving help and nourshiment. The tree still don't produce fruit after a year, then it's off to the fire.... New husband, new life, serving God. (Not that I would take a Husband.. cough.. cough.. I meant women who have stood rightfully and full of faith believing without change)

 

[Cturtle]

I understand your verses, and i can sympthathize with your heart breaking for those women who have abusive husbands. But what you are saying, gives the person who is praying for a unbeliever no hope. The bond between the husband and wife is stronger than a lot of other bonds. The power of prayer, and the power of love, moves God to knock louder on the door of a person's heart than if no one were praying for them at all. Love moves mountains, and so does faith. Your job as a man of God is to encourage their faith, and tell them what God says. The rest is up to God. I pray you do not lead anyone down the wrong path, as i pray the same over myself.

Remember that we have the power to bind and loose. When we bind the strongman from covering a persons mind, and ask God to get laborers across their path. GOD MOVES. When we walk in total love and forgiveness according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, and Mark 11:22-25 the Love of God removes barriers, that otherwise could not be moved.

Blessings and peace to you. May the Lord grant you an abundant of wisdom and peace!

 

[reba]

I think that is Brother Mike 's point. The foundation of Stone says, Maybe her/his Godly behavior will bring them to salvation. But it is a Maybe.

Thanks

 

[Deborah13]

Bingo!!!

I am a faith person. I speak to the devil, take the blinder off, only light is in, then I know the devil had to let go, and light is in. A person still has a choice to see the light though and make right choices.

If the dung is already been around the tree a year and the tree does not produce, even Jesus said cast it into the fire, right?
so by faith my prayer is heard the first time, worked and the new dung is around the tree, giving help and nourshiment. The tree still don't produce fruit after a year, then it's off to the fire.... New husband, new life, serving God. (Not that I would take a Husband.. cough.. cough.. I meant women who have stood rightfully and full of faith believing without change)

I don't believe in permanently ending a marriage unless there is habitual serious abuse of the spouse or children or the offender is doing things in the home that are too disgusting to mention or illegal.
Always keeping the best interest of any children at the forefront.

 

[Brother Mike]

I understand your verses, and i can sympthathize with your heart breaking for those women who have abusive husbands. But what you are saying, gives the person who is praying for a unbeliever no hope. The bond between the husband and wife is stronger than a lot of other bonds. The power of prayer, and the power of love, moves God to knock louder on the door of a person's heart than if no one were praying for them at all. Love moves mountains, and so does faith. Your job as a man of God is to encourage their faith, and tell them what God says. The rest is up to God. I pray you do not lead anyone down the wrong path, as i pray the same over myself.

Remember that we have the power to bind and loose. When we bind the strongman from covering a persons mind, and ask God to get laborers across their path. GOD MOVES. When we walk in total love and forgiveness according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, and Mark 11:22-25 the Love of God removes barriers, that otherwise could not be moved.

Blessings and peace to you. May the Lord grant you an abundant of wisdom and peace!

First off Turtle, our conversation goes spiritually way beyond what most here can understand (the OP or those newer) The parable of importunity, the knock is louder because it's urgent, so God responded in a loud and clear way. Loud, does not change a person.

I look at many women and say, "Ya, they have faith of a onion", so explaining to them to forgive, and set their feelings aside, not be moved by the natural and speak the Word only is like fairy tale land.

Might be great advice for you, but I am speaking of the majority.

According to your faith, so it be done unto you.

We have no promise in scripture the person will change. God knows the heart, so we have to assume they hear God and God says stay, I am working on them. Most don't hear God.

I got lucky, despite my wife's Adultery, she did not know me after being away from me a year, the Lord told her to stay. I was told to forgive.

She heard God, what about those that suffer constantly and have no peace to get in scripture or time because of a lousy spouse? Is it not more easy to remove the source of the issue according to faith?

It would be great for all those women posting and those I met to just listen to what to do, truth is they don't understand the Word of God is eternal and God is always faithful to perform it. you often heard advice to seek counselling which fails miserably according to statistics. Only faith and doing what the Word says do moves mountains, and it will without fail every time. That don't mean it changes a person though every single time.

is it not better to remove the problem? Then seek God?

Pharaoh choose to have the frogs stay a day when He did not have to, why?

 

[Deborah13]

Bingo!!!

I am a faith person. I speak to the devil, take the blinder off, only light is in, then I know the devil had to let go, and light is in. A person still has a choice to see the light though and make right choices.

If the dung is already been around the tree a year and the tree does not produce, even Jesus said cast it into the fire, right?
so by faith my prayer is heard the first time, worked and the new dung is around the tree, giving help and nourshiment. The tree still don't produce fruit after a year, then it's off to the fire.... New husband, new life, serving God. (Not that I would take a Husband.. cough.. cough.. I meant women who have stood rightfully and full of faith believing without change)

I don't believe in permanently ending a marriage unless there is habitual serious abuse of the spouse or children or the offender is doing things in the home that are too disgusting to mention or illegal.
Always keeping the best interest of any children at the forefront.

 

[Brother Mike]

I don't believe in permanently ending a marriage unless there is habitual serious abuse of the spouse or children or the offender is doing things in the home that are too disgusting to mention or illegal.
Always keeping the best interest of any children at the forefront.

A Husband can make life miserable without being unduly evil though. Did God design a women to be unhappy or to have to stand in faith every single day just over a husband?. I know, I was such a Husband, I wish my wife would sign up.

I am not sold that a women or man should tolerate any obstacle when it comes to putting God first.

 

[reba]

1Pe 3:5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
1Pe 3:6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

 

[Deborah13]

I understand your verses, and i can sympthathize with your heart breaking for those women who have abusive husbands. But what you are saying, gives the person who is praying for a unbeliever no hope.

I believe a Maybe is cause for hope.
Just like praying for anyone's salvation there is cause for hope but there is not a definite yes. It is God's will for all to be saved but not all are saved. Obviously, to me, this means that God will not force someone to be saved. In the end, they have to choose life, in Him. But living with a Godly loving spouse is a daily good example and reminder of a loving God.

 

[Cturtle]

First off Turtle, our conversation goes spiritually way beyond what most here can understand (the OP or those newer) The parable of importunity, the knock is louder because it's urgent, so God responded in a loud and clear way. Loud, does not change a person.

I look at many women and say, "Ya, they have faith of a onion", so explaining to them to forgive, and set their feelings aside, not be moved by the natural and speak the Word only is like fairy tale land.

Might be great advice for you, but I am speaking of the majority.

According to your faith, so it be done unto you.

We have no promise in scripture the person will change. God knows the heart, so we have to assume they hear God and God says stay, I am working on them. Most don't hear God.

I got lucky, despite my wife's Adultery, she did not know me after being away from me a year, the Lord told her to stay. I was told to forgive.

She heard God, what about those that suffer constantly and have no peace to get in scripture or time because of a lousy spouse? Is it not more easy to remove the source of the issue according to faith?

It would be great for all those women posting and those I met to just listen to what to do, truth is they don't understand the Word of God is eternal and God is always faithful to perform it. you often heard advice to seek counselling which fails miserably according to statistics. Only faith and doing what the Word says do moves mountains, and it will without fail every time. That don't mean it changes a person though every single time.

is it not better to remove the problem? Then seek God?

Pharaoh choose to have the frogs stay a day when He did not have to, why?

I understand what you are saying, but removing the problem is not always the right answer. Having it easy does not build faith. One does not have to know how a car works in order to drive it. And yes it ultimately is up to the ones involved to obey or not, but all we can do is instruct them on what the Word of God says, leaving out the doubt, put our faith to theirs and trust God to move the mountains.... the outcome is ultimately in God's hands. We are to obey God and leave all of the consequences to Him.

Pharaoh's heart was hardened, and he was stubborn, plus he was not saved. We are talking about Godly women, who desire to obey God, and love their husbands.

 

[Cturtle]

I believe a Maybe is cause for hope.
Just like praying for anyone's salvation there is cause for hope but there is not a definite yes. It is God's will for all to be saved but not all are saved. Obviously, to me, this means that God will not force someone to be saved. In the end, they have to choose life, in Him. But living with a Godly loving spouse is a daily good example and reminder of a loving God.

Your right that God cannot force someone to choose Him, but as you said when the unbeliever lives with a godly loving spouse, they are more likely to see God's goodness and turn their lives over to Christ. And the hope that you speak of is what keeps a godly woman praying for the man that she loves. God knows the pain that the children could experience if the family is split up, only seeing their daddy or mommy ever other weekend. And God knows that the devil is trying to destroy the sanctity of marriage. So i believe that He will intervene on behalf of the praying spouse.

But one has to walk in Love and forgiveness. That is the key

Blessings Deborah!

 

[Deborah13]

A Husband can make life miserable without being unduly evil though. Did God design a women to be unhappy or to have to stand in faith every single day just over a husband?. I know, I was such a Husband, I wish my wife would sign up.

I am not sold that a women or man should tolerate any obstacle when it comes to putting God first.

But we don't need to be miserable, there is a joy in the Lord that cannot be taken away. And I don't see how a spouse can stand in the away of us having a relationship with the Lord, no matter how bad it is, even in the cases of serious abuse.