[__ Praise __] i can deal with it!

[Christ_empowered]

ok, so i woke up around midnight and went out back...staring at the scenery, chilling...then i heard it: laughter, comments, more laughter. Bullies sometimes work the night shift, it seems. and...

i dealt with it OK. spent a couple minutes outside, went back in. i was safe and secure in my own little space, of course, but...wow, The Lord has brought me a long way! and...

then, today, i actually ventured out to get some stuff done...at a local big box store. i know, this isn't mah blog, but...it was (and is) a big deal, for me. i got stuff done, dealt politely with the (also polite) clerks, and I was outta there...no sweating and red face, no trembling, no stomach cramps, no...none of that, Praise God!

i dunno. im getting better at dealing with the community around me...its my little corner of the world, now that i think about it...despite the snarky comments, bullying, condescending stuff, everything...

and that's The Lord answering my prayers, as I've repented of my fear and He has seen fit (more and more...I get that its an ongoing process...) to bless me with a spirit of a -sound mind- , and I can increasingly stand on that, and Jesus' work at Calvary, too...

because He didn't die for my sins...He suffered Crucifixion, died, and was resurrected...for -me- (and...-you- , too, of course).

ok. i can deal with it, by God's grace.

 

[Pegasus]

Praise be to God! How is your family doing these days?

 

[Christ_empowered]

the family is doing well, Pegasus...thanks for asking.

mama's settling into retirement. I'm so thankful. she does her domestic stuff, keeps up with people, does some volunteer work, etc. I'm...happy for her.

I'm getting closer to my dad! I think he sees, now, that I messed up as a teenager, but I've been transformed. I think...I think it helps that The Lord has made me healthy and more masculine (not a red blooded mans man, lol...but not a flamer...), and I've also been praying to honor my parents, and...clearly, The Lord answers prayer.

 

[for_his_glory]

Great praise report CE. We walk a day at a time as Jesus leads us.

 

[JPPT1974]

God bless your family. Keep on walking for the Lord. Retirement is not the end. But the beginning of a new chapter.

 

[Michael74]

May the Lord bless our families.

 

[Christ_empowered]

me, yet again.

thanks, y'all, for the prayers, support, and replies. I know I post here a lot, my big thing is...so much of my life, so much of my 'psychiatric treatment,' in particular...people just wanted me to shut up. long story. now, thanks to Christ...

i have a voice, things to say, and i find that sometimes i even say things that strike a chord with other Christians, line up with Scripture (I'm trying...), etc. so...yeah. yeah. thanks.

a lot of what i went thru and even now go thru (which is minor, compared to what could be happening and what came before...) is 'just the way the world works,' honestly. im just now beginning to grasp that and really -comprehend- that, in part because....

well, probably a lot because of brain damage. my own drug abuse was bad, but...whoa...psychiatrists took it to a whole other level, let's put it that way. im not really angry about it, now, because The Lord has brought me out from under such oppression and destruction and darkness, but...

ya know, it is what it is, was what it was, etc. and the bullying...

i apparently 'don't know my place in society!,' etc. i thought, for the longest time, that it was a southern thing, as in...maybe in more 'progressive,' or at least...less 'conservative' areas...my life would be smoother, easier, less conflict. i was wrong.

all societies have a stratification system. top dawgs, peons, lots of people in between. deal is...im 'schizophrenic,' in terms of labels in the community...

and that usually means poverty and lots of heavy control from the psych industry. blah. im not saying that to sound 'antipsychiatry'--ive found they don't have much in the way of constructive solutions, tho they do tend to be a rather angry, bitter bunch--im just stating what ive observed and seen to be true. and...

i dont live large and all that, but my modest, surprisingly comfortable (for me) lifestyle seems to rub a lot of people the wrong way....

and that's how the world works. of course, satan and his influence are in the mix, and i see it more, now as a Christian...

the bullying is also largely centered on who i was at my worst, after my own drug use, sins, and the psych industry destroyed me. and the deal there is...

i was never expected to 'recover,' i wasn't even expected to live this long. darned if you do, darned if don't; happens to a lot of people, and the lower status one is, the more stigma, the more punishment one gets, no matter what direction one takes. true story. i see that, now. didnt, not really, for a long time.

so, now i believe ive been made whole...far from perfect, growing faith, washed+made clean by The Blood of The Lamb...as a New Creation in Christ Jesus. that plays out somewhat differently in each believer's life, of course. why? i dunno. God, in His infinite wisdom, deals with each of us as He sees fit....

in the context of our own sins, our corners of a fallen world, on and on.

so...yeah. the bullying is rough, especially when they get to talking about the homosexual stuff...and the things that happened post-shock 'treatments,' etc...

well, that's what happens to vulnerable, poor, stigmatized, brain damaged people. by some miracle, im now remarkably...smart, no obvious brain damaged....ive been lifted out of real poverty and the vulnerability that comes with it, and...

the stigma remains, sadly. i pray, i do me each new day....i have 0 control of other people. until recently, id been destroyed by the psych industry, life ruined, etc...and lots and lots of people found (and find) that unbelievably amusing, hilarious, even. and...

that's who they are, that's where they're at...i was on the broad road 'till Jesus intervened, nearly 7 years ago. i was repentant and saved, but still a weakling, till fairly recently, so....

blah. -i get it- but its still rough, obviously. it isn't just being hurt its sort of...frightening, i guess, that people are so vicious and cruel, all over...and that's just human nature, rearing its ugly head towards me...

a work in progress who was once a weakling, utterly destroyed by sin, satan, self, and the world.

ok. thanks again, y'all.