Wow, you sound like you are in a terrible state. I am sorry for that pain. If I can give you an scriptural comfort, what do these verses say to you? Maybe they will help comfort you as they do me.... God bless you. (All are NASB unless otherwise stated.)
Isaiah 45:7 (KJV) I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace,
and create evil: I the Lord do all these things.
Romans 12:20-21 (NASB) "But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but
overcome evil with good.
Colossians 1:17 (NASB) He (Jesus) is before all things, and in Him
all things hold together.
Colossians 2:10 (NASB) and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority;
Luke 6:36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
1 John 4:8 The one who does not love does not know God, for
God is love
1 Cor. 13:4-8 Love is
patient, love is
kind and is
not jealous; love does not brag
and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears
all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things.
8
Love never fails; but if
there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if
there are tongues, they will cease; if
there is knowledge, it will be done away.
2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for
all to come to repentance.
Jeremiah 32:17 (NASB) ‘Ah Lord God! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm!
Nothing is too difficult for You,
Colossians 1:20 and through Him to
reconcile all things to Himself, having
made peace through the blood of His cross; through Him,
I say, whether things on earth or things in heaven.
Colossians 3:11 a renewal in which there is no
distinction between Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave and freeman, but Christ
is all, and
in all.
Romans 11:32 For God has shut up all in disobedience so that He may show mercy to all
John 1:4 (NLT) The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone.
John 17:2 even as You gave Him authority over all flesh, that to all whom You have given Him, He may give eternal life.
John 3:17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
John 17:4 I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do.
Hebrews 12:2 (NASB) fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
1 Cor 15:22 (NASB) For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ all will be made alive. 23 But each in his own order: Christ the first fruits, after that those who are Christ’s at His coming
Philippians 2:11 and that
every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Mark 10:27 (NASB) Looking at them, Jesus *said, "With people it is impossible, but
not with God;
for all things are possible with God."
2 Cor 5:14 For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for
all, therefore
all died;
John 8:15 (NASB) You judge according to the flesh; I am
not judging anyone.
John 5:22 (MOUNCE) Furthermore,
the Father judges no one, but has given
all judgment to the Son,
John 12:31 Now judgment is upon this world; now
the ruler of this world will be cast out.
1 Peter 4:6 For the gospel has for this purpose been preached even to those who are dead, that though they are judged in the flesh as men, they may
live in the spirit according to the will of God.
Psalm 22:27-31 (NASB)
27
All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the Lord,
And all the families of the nations
will worship before You.
28 For the kingdom is the Lord’s
And He rules over the nations.
29 All the prosperous of the earth will eat and worship,
All those who go down to the dust will bow before Him,
Even he who cannot keep his soul alive.
30 Posterity will serve Him;
It will be told of the Lord to the
coming generation.
31 They will come and will declare His righteousness
To a people who will be born, that
He has performed it.
Acts 2:17-21 ‘And it shall be in the last days,’ God says,
‘That I will pour forth of My Spirit on
all mankind;
And your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
And your young men shall see visions,
And your old men shall dream dreams;
18 Even on My bondslaves, both men and women,
I will in those days pour forth of My Spirit
And they shall prophesy.
19 ‘And I will grant wonders in the sky above
And signs on the earth below,
Blood, and fire, and vapor of smoke.
20 ‘The sun will be turned into darkness
And the moon into blood,
Before the great and glorious day of the Lord shall come.
21 ‘And it shall be that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’
Psalm 48:14 "This God is our God forever and ever. He will lead us beyond death."
Heb 12:29 for our God
is a consuming fire.
Mark 9:49 For everyone will be salted with fire.
Matthew 3:11 "I baptize you with water for repentance, but he who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and
fire.
1 Peter 1:7 so that the proof of your faith,
being more precious than gold which is perishable,
even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ
Matthew 3:11 "I baptize you with water for repentance, but he who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit
and fire.
Isaiah 43:2 (AMP) When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you.
Malachi 3:3 He will sit as a
refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness,
Mal 3:2 NASB “But who can endure the
day of His coming? And who can stand when He appears? For He is like a
refiner’s fire and like
fullers’ soap.
Revelation 20:15 And if anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of
fire ("fire" = Greek "Pur")
pur: fire
HELPS Word-studies
4442 pýr – fire. In Scripture, fire is often used figuratively – like with the "fire of God" which transforms all it touches into light and likeness with itself
God's Spirit, like a holy
fire,
enlightens and purifies so that believers can share more and more
in His likeness. Indeed the
fire of God brings the
uninterrupted privilege of being
transformed which happens by experiencing
faith from Him. Our lives can become true
offerings to Him as we obey this imparted faith from God by His power.
[This is illustrated by
God's fire burning continuously at the entrance of the Tabernacle where the priests made sweet-savor offerings. Compare Lev 6:12,13 with 1 Pet 2:5,9.]
1 Corinthians 3:13-15 each man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is
to be revealed
with fire, and the fire itself will
test the quality of each man’s work. 14 If any man’s work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward. 15 If
any man’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss;
but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.
1 Cor 15:22 For as in Adam
all die, so also in Christ
all will be made alive.
God bless. I hope this helps.
kicked