I misled us on the issue of divorce - wrong interpretation

[Classik]

Wrong God is not cruel. He does not like divorce but if your heart is no longer with this women or man and or one of you have been unfaithful and or one of you are dead you may remarry. God knows that you are still wrapped in the flesh. and that if you are normal from time to time you will burn with passion. And He knows that He made you that way. You don't have to be alone because you just divorced a husband that was beating you. And now you have found a man who treats you like a queen. God does not want you to be unhappy and alone for the rest of your life, now wouldn't that be real cruel, you ain't dead yet, you are just divorced. If you are divorced in your hearts you are divorced.

But if your heart is no longer with the woman? On what basis? She is no longer that radiant queen you met when you first said I do? She is a gossip? Bad habit etc?
You post seems to suggest that other issues other than adultery and violence or abuse may also prompt someone to divorce a partner. Is that your point, too?

 

[Classik]

Wrong God is not cruel. He does not like divorce but if your heart is no longer with this women or man and or one of you have been unfaithful and or one of you are dead you may remarry. God knows that you are still wrapped in the flesh. and that if you are normal from time to time you will burn with passion. And He knows that He made you that way. You don't have to be alone because you just divorced a husband that was beating you. And now you have found a man who treats you like a queen. God does not want you to be unhappy and alone for the rest of your life, now wouldn't that be real cruel, you ain't dead yet, you are just divorced. If you are divorced in your hearts you are divorced.

But if your heart is no longer with the woman? On what basis? She is no longer that radiant queen you met when you first said I do? She is a gossip? Bad habit etc?
You post seems to suggest that other issues other than adultery and violence or abuse may also prompt someone to divorce a partner. Is that your point, too?

 

[Classik]

does this mean that God can forgive a person for murder if they repent but can not forgive one for divorce if they repent?
I agree it is wrong but they imo should be able to be forgiven???

Check out the verse she provided

 

[JohnDB]

Women are more likely to file for divorce than men.

Something like 60-70% more likely.

Men only file to try to get venue choice... It does matter which judge you get and which county.

Women have everything to gain and nothing to lose in a divorce these days. So they file first and the most often.

 

[Classik]

Women are more likely to file for divorce than men.

Something like 60-70% more likely.

Men only file to try to get venue choice... It does matter which judge you get and which county.

Women have everything to gain and nothing to lose in a divorce these days. So they file first and the most often.

I need to be convinced on this. surprising

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Once you divorce him or her both of you must remain unmarried for as long as you live. Any man that marries a divorced man or woman commits adultery. A way out is to make peace with the partner, and reconcile with him or her.

I have heard that some believe if your spouse divorces you for reasons other than infidelity you can't remarry until and unless your ex-spouse commits adultery. Which they probably most certainly will (because that's probably why they're leaving--to be with someone else). Sounds good but Paul's personal counsel to us is that in such a case you are not bound to the spouse when they do the leaving, period. (I find it interesting that Paul calls the spouse who does that the unbelieving spouse.)

I think the main argument for that doctrine was that, Biblically, women can't divorce, only the man can initiate a legal divorce. IOW, a woman who leaves her husband isn't divorcing him, because she can't legally do that. She is simply leaving. That being true, the man remains married to her and he can't do anything about it until she commits adultery. What's interesting is, I have NEVER met a person who divorced their spouse who did not leave to be with someone else. AND who did not wait until they remarried to be with that person. Which, IMO, gives lots of weight to why Paul refers to the person who is doing the divorcing/leaving as being the unbelieving spouse.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Women have everything to gain and nothing to lose in a divorce these days.

And, if I'm not mistaken, all because of a mistaken understanding of scripture.

 

[JohnDB]

I have heard that some believe if your spouse divorces you for reasons other than infidelity you can't remarry until and unless your ex-spouse commits adultery. Which they probably most certainly will (because that's probably why they're leaving--to be with someone else). Sounds good but Paul's personal counsel to us is that in such a case you are not bound to the spouse when they do the leaving, period. (I find it interesting that Paul calls the spouse who does that the unbelieving spouse.)

I think the main argument for that doctrine was that, Biblically, women can't divorce, only the man can initiate a legal divorce. IOW, a woman who leaves her husband isn't divorcing him, because she can't legally do that. She is simply leaving. That being true, the man remains married to her and he can't do anything about it until she commits adultery. What's interesting is, I have NEVER met a person who divorced their spouse who did not leave to be with someone else. AND who did not wait until they remarried to be with that person. Which, IMO, gives lots of weight to why Paul refers to the person who is doing the divorcing/leaving as being the unbelieving spouse.

Put away wives is the term the Bible uses. Putting Away is what Joseph was going to do to Mary before the Angel talked to him.

A put away wife has no income unless she prostitutes herself or adulterously remarries someone else. (Wives could only have one husband but husbands could have many wives).

 

[Roro1972]

Check out the verse she provided

In my post to you I may have failed to convey my thoughts correctly. I posted that I agree with the Bible on divorce.
then I wanted to say the Bible also says God can and will forgive someone if they repent of a sin in this case divorce
when you say check out the verse she provided; I dont know who the "she" is you speak of. the only person i can readily
be sure of is a she is Reba the other posters dont give up theit gender. some I can tel are male some no idea of gender
but my thoughts are still there " it seems to me God can forgive divorce am I wrong on this?

 

[Wrg1405]

it seems to me God can forgive divorce am I wrong on this?

If you were wrong then it would seem that Christs death was in vain.

Hebrews 8:12
Psalm 103:10-12
Isaiah 1:18
Hosea 3:1
Mark 3:28

 

[Roro1972]

If you were then it would seem that Christs death was in vain.

Hebrews 8:12
Psalm 103:10-12
Isaiah 1:18
Hosea 3:1
Mark 3:28

The reason I asked is this whole thread is about divorce being so bad and not one post about how to be forgiven if one is caught up in it. It is not some thing we are to do and are to try very hard to avoid but then that describes any sin doesn't it

 

[Wrg1405]

The reason I asked is this whole thread is about divorce being so bad and not one post about how to be forgiven if one is caught up in it. It is not some thing we are to do and are to try very hard to avoid but then that describes any sin doesn't it

It does, but we know all sin has been forgiven on his account (except rejecting Christ)

 

[reba]

Can I ask a question. It is probably a stupid one but as Forrest said "stupid is as stupid does"

If either spouse divorces the other and remarries what is the act of adultery? Is a one time act or a continual state.

The present tense of the Greek in Matthew 5:32; 19:9; and Luke 16:18 can indicate a continuous state of adultery. At the same time, the present tense in Greek does not always indicate continuous action. Sometimes it simply means that something occurred (Aoristic, Punctiliar, or Gnomic present). For example, the word "divorces" in Matthew 5:32 is present tense, but divorcing is not a continual action. So is remarriage a continual state of adultery or is act of getting remarried itself is adultery.

In the Old Testament Law, the punishment for adultery was death (Leviticus 20:10). At the same time, Deuteronomy 24:1-4 mentions remarriage after a divorce, does not call it adultery, and does not demand the death penalty for the remarried spouse. The Bible explicitly says that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), but nowhere explicitly states that God hates remarriage. The Bible nowhere commands a remarried couple to divorce. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 does not describe the remarriage as invalid. Ending a remarriage through divorce would be just as sinful as ending a first marriage through divorce. Both would include the breaking of vows before God, between the couple, and in front of witnesses.

No matter the circumstances, once a couple is remarried, they should strive to live out their married lives in fidelity, in a God-honoring way, with Christ at the center of their marriage. A marriage is a marriage. God does not view the new marriage as invalid or adulterous. A remarried couple should devote themselves to God, and to each other – and honor Him by making their new marriage a lasting and Christ-centered one (Ephesians 5:22-33).

I'm sure what I'm going to say will rub some people the wrong way, but believe me, in the land of easing the burden of my own wrong doings, I am king and the whole royal court.

Divorce is wrong most of the time. It just is. Some have said here that God doesn't want us living in marriages that are painful. I'm not talking about abuse. I'm talking about the day to day pain of discontent. From what I read in the Word, there's no justification for divorce in that place. But there must be two people willing to endure the hard times and look past the other's flaws. It takes two to tango, but also two to reconcile. It takes One to restore.

I've heard enough that I know it's true that divorce is never easy. Easy to sign the papers and have it legally done, but very painful to live in that emotional cloud for the time before and after. That said, if there appeared to be an easier way than to divorce, I'm sure many would have avoided it.

I have zero condemnation for those that have divorced. We believers are covered in His righteousness. But I have a hard time when people play down God's hate for the destruction of what He made. What's past is past, and we move on in forgiveness, but it was wrong most of the time when it was done. It just was.

The reason I asked is this whole thread is about divorce being so bad and not one post about how to be forgiven if one is caught up in it. It is not some thing we are to do and are to try very hard to avoid but then that describes any sin doesn't it

Roro1972 i see that in the above posts.

any of us who would lord over a divorced person .. or a divorced remarried person.. their sin had better take a that huge beam from our own eyes...
The teaching of the importance of marriage needs to come form the church...

 

[Classik]

And in the case of a believing spouse.... what happens?

I have heard that some believe if your spouse divorces you for reasons other than infidelity you can't remarry until and unless your ex-spouse commits adultery. Which they probably most certainly will (because that's probably why they're leaving--to be with someone else). Sounds good but Paul's personal counsel to us is that in such a case you are not bound to the spouse when they do the leaving, period. (I find it interesting that Paul calls the spouse who does that the unbelieving spouse.)

I think the main argument for that doctrine was that, Biblically, women can't divorce, only the man can initiate a legal divorce. IOW, a woman who leaves her husband isn't divorcing him, because she can't legally do that. She is simply leaving. That being true, the man remains married to her and he can't do anything about it until she commits adultery. What's interesting is, I have NEVER met a person who divorced their spouse who did not leave to be with someone else. AND who did not wait until they remarried to be with that person. Which, IMO, gives lots of weight to why Paul refers to the person who is doing the divorcing/leaving as being the unbelieving spouse.

 

[Classik]

In my post to you I may have failed to convey my thoughts correctly. I posted that I agree with the Bible on divorce.
then I wanted to say the Bible also says God can and will forgive someone if they repent of a sin in this case divorce
when you say check out the verse she provided; I dont know who the "she" is you speak of. the only person i can readily
be sure of is a she is Reba the other posters dont give up theit gender. some I can tel are male some no idea of gender
but my thoughts are still there " it seems to me God can forgive divorce am I wrong on this?

I understood you. Was actually directing you to:

I am very glad my mother remarried, I got to have an actually good father figure because of it.

Matthew 19:9 - And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

 

[Classik]

The reason I asked is this whole thread is about divorce being so bad and not one post about how to be forgiven if one is caught up in it. It is not some thing we are to do and are to try very hard to avoid but then that describes any sin doesn't it

I'm not talking about the possibility of forgiveness on this issue, I'm trying to correct my misinterpretation of the verse or issue.

 

[evenifigoalone]

I need to be convinced on this. surprising

Hm...I do remember hearing that the courts make the process easier for women and tend to believe them easier, or something.

I have heard that some believe if your spouse divorces you for reasons other than infidelity you can't remarry until and unless your ex-spouse commits adultery. Which they probably most certainly will (because that's probably why they're leaving--to be with someone else). Sounds good but Paul's personal counsel to us is that in such a case you are not bound to the spouse when they do the leaving, period. (I find it interesting that Paul calls the spouse who does that the unbelieving spouse.)

I think the main argument for that doctrine was that, Biblically, women can't divorce, only the man can initiate a legal divorce. IOW, a woman who leaves her husband isn't divorcing him, because she can't legally do that. She is simply leaving. That being true, the man remains married to her and he can't do anything about it until she commits adultery. What's interesting is, I have NEVER met a person who divorced their spouse who did not leave to be with someone else. AND who did not wait until they remarried to be with that person. Which, IMO, gives lots of weight to why Paul refers to the person who is doing the divorcing/leaving as being the unbelieving spouse.

Could the passage possibly be referring to a marriage where one is a believer and one isn't?

 

[Roro1972]

I'm not talking about the possibility of forgiveness on this issue, I'm trying to correct my misinterpretation of the verse or issue.

Sorry I did not mean to go off topic.

 

[evenifigoalone]

I will say that I don't believe that the two reasons for scriptural divorce mean you can never remarry. Seems unfair if someone walks out on you or is treating you immorally (adultery and abuse)--those things are all serious breeches of the marriage contract. Especially unfair when children are involved--when my mother remarried it was because she wanted us (me and my brother) to have a stable home and a good male role model. Of course you can't base doctrine off of feelings, but this is also based on my reading of the verses.

 

[OzSpen]

I can't agree with you on this one, Classik, because of this:

"if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases" (1 Corinthians 7:15 NASB)

What the Christian can not do is do the leaving, except when their spouse has committed adultery. But when your spouse leaves for whatever reason you are no longer bound to them.

Well said, Jethro. The NT gives 2 reasons for divorce:

1. The other spouse commits adultery, and
2. The unbelieving spouse leaves the marriage.

This doesn't address the issue of the need for separation in an abusive relationship. This is where the situation gets tricky from a biblical point of view. However, for the safety of the spouse (generally the woman, but in about 10% of cases men experience abuse) separation may be needed for safety of spouse and children.

A report from The Guardian in the UK revealed that about 40% of domestic violence victims are male.

This helps to complicate the issue, 'Story of domestic violence against men is hidden, complicated and disputed' (Brisbane Times, November 24, 2015). That said, the majority of DV is still perpetrated by men against women.

So, does a woman or man moving out of a DV situation provide ammunition for the spouse to divorce? It does seem to fuel that possibility. Who wants to be in an abusive relationship where personal well-being is threatened?

This divorce issue is not as simple as it, at first, seems.

Oz