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I misled us on the issue of divorce - wrong interpretation

JohnDB said:
In practice, being a Christian means a lot of different things to different people. Everyone does it a bit different. They don't make Christians in a cookie cutter fashion.
My faith is practiced very differently than my parents. I'm a different person than either one of them are. Very different than my brothers too.
I tried to marry a woman similar to my mother and it failed miserably because I am not my father. They, as parents, were ill equipped to teach me how to pick a spouse except to ensure that she claimed Christ.
And that's not enough. There's a lot of things that are needed to be understood.
Successful marriages look different to different people.
But the dry metrics are available and have some surprising characteristics. (Marriages lasting longer than 10 years)
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War ,ptsd nearly ,destroyed mine,the visions of my,wife doing,things I hated ,God showed them to me .the days and times,and people .
 
wondering said:
But you're not saying what Jesus meant.
It seem clear to me and to others.
We spoke about the culture of the time a little.
I don't see what difference it makes.

Jesus said that there is to be no divorce except for adultery.

Can we take away from that or add to it?

If Jesus said something,,,what difference does it make what Moses said or what the prophets said?

Could you expound please.
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Women who were unfaithful to their husbands got stoned...no need for divorce.
So why say such things to men?

In Hebrew culture if a man put away his wife and forced her to be an adultress (by marrying again while still married to her first husband) the first husband is held guilty of the adultery by God and not her.

Now,
Because there was a scandal going on inside of the ranks of the Pharisees...they were rapid fire marrying and divorcing lots of women. As if they were cattle or slaves. It was tantamount to wife swapping. Literally. It was literally "slave with benefits" trading. Much of this abhorent behavior was going on with a group of put away wives. It was easy too. No dowry but no bride price to pay either. A woman could be divorced and remarried the next day with the men making deals. It was a disgrace...but all within the confines of the Law. Which they took full advantage of.
These put away wives were at the mercy of these religious elites. They lived in a theocracy under Roman Rule. A completely different society than anything you have lived in.
 
This is what I've been pointing to all along.
People taking advantage of others and abusing the Law and others in the process.

Fairly common in the world. They still have marriage parlors in the Moslem world where you get married for an hour or two and then divorced...legal and inside the laws of Moses. (Which Moslems follow)
 
wondering said:
Allen, I can't know what you have in mind.
If you don't want to post what Paul was saying,,,
then fine...you don't have to.
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You don't know what Paul said ?
Of course you do.
I explained what I had in mind.
But you don't understand.
It sounds like you don't understand the Bible and need to go back to a beginners class.
I'm not interested in teaching beginners.
That ministry belongs to someone else.
Maybe Jason will teach you.
 
wondering said:
Not all unbelievers make bad husbands.
I get kind of tired to hear this.

My husband is not a believer...not really.
We've been married a really long, long, time.
I don't think I could have had a better husband.

I'm very sorry he's not born again....
but that does not mean he's not a good husband.

And I've seen Christian couples that cannot get along,,,
one of them is in my family.
And some do not have a good marriage but stay together anyway....
which, actually, is how it should be.
Except in the case of abuse.
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I agree.
I've been married 32 years. One time only.
Wouldn't have it any other way.
 
JohnDB said:
This is what I've been pointing to all along.
People taking advantage of others and abusing the Law and others in the process.

Fairly common in the world. They still have marriage parlors in the Moslem world where you get married for an hour or two and then divorced...legal and inside the laws of Moses. (Which Moslems follow)
Click to expand...
Where is that ?while I know in Islam women are chattel.just never heard of that
 
JohnDB said:
Iraq, Iran, Kuwait, and other locations that they said that they never were in.
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Been to Kuwait ,Iran is close enough that I got things via from locals mostly,hacked American shows .nothing I kept ,just watched .weird to watch MTV in,Persian .

I will ask the Iraqi vets of this.
 
I do believe I agree with the above. But it sounds different from your other post. Also, you should tag me when replying.
Click to expand...

How do you tag people. My favorite game as a child.

Regarding my earlier post about love . . .

I am sorry I sound inconsistent. I am a love addict in recovery so I grew up worshipping romantic love. But I had no taste in men so I ended up with the wrong man. Then I read "Women Who Love Too Much" and tried to be with a nice guy who I did not love. That did not work out either. I finally found a good man and I did fall in love. It was romantic but not passionate. It became platonic, a deep abiding affection for each other. So today I believe in different forms of love. Love as desire is the only one that is dangerous because it blinds you to who you are desiring an can become addictive. I loved my husband. Love is important and long as it is mixed with compatibility and respect and honesty with a little romance thrown in for good measure. Harville Hendrix explains how to create romance so it can come later than the beginning. But when it does fade what is left is platonic love. This is what works for me. God is my first love. I will never put a man before God every again. That is idolatry.
 
LovethroughDove said:
I agree. If marriage wasn't a big deal to God, he wouldn't have the church as the bride of Christ. Becoming one flesh and to be eternally connected. As humans, we just have to stick it out until death. Marriage will push you in ways you didn't imagine.
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Agreed. Marriage forces emotional and spiritual growth the immature find too painful to endure. Me being one of them. By the grace of God, we made it.
 
LovethroughDove said:
I'm strictly coming from the child's point of view. Being a child from divorced parents, I do not want to do that to my children because of the impression that a child feels. My parents did not think about my sister and me when they did what they did.

It was mainly my Mom making the move to divorce, but my Dad wasn't making us priority either. My family is blown up til this very day and my sister and me are in our 40s. It's a tragedy.
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Amen. I am a child of divorce as well. Tragedy is the word indeed.
 
JohnDB said:
Women who were unfaithful to their husbands got stoned...no need for divorce.
So why say such things to men?

In Hebrew culture if a man put away his wife and forced her to be an adultress (by marrying again while still married to her first husband) the first husband is held guilty of the adultery by God and not her.

Now,
Because there was a scandal going on inside of the ranks of the Pharisees...they were rapid fire marrying and divorcing lots of women. As if they were cattle or slaves. It was tantamount to wife swapping. Literally. It was literally "slave with benefits" trading. Much of this abhorent behavior was going on with a group of put away wives. It was easy too. No dowry but no bride price to pay either. A woman could be divorced and remarried the next day with the men making deals. It was a disgrace...but all within the confines of the Law. Which they took full advantage of.
These put away wives were at the mercy of these religious elites. They lived in a theocracy under Roman Rule. A completely different society than anything you have lived in.
Click to expand...
Now I know what you're talking about....
but 11:30 pm here..daughter just left.
Tomorrow....
 
Susannah said:
How do you tag people. My favorite game as a child.

Regarding my earlier post about love . . .

I am sorry I sound inconsistent. I am a love addict in recovery so I grew up worshipping romantic love. But I had no taste in men so I ended up with the wrong man. Then I read "Women Who Love Too Much" and tried to be with a nice guy who I did not love. That did not work out either. I finally found a good man and I did fall in love. It was romantic but not passionate. It became platonic, a deep abiding affection for each other. So today I believe in different forms of love. Love as desire is the only one that is dangerous because it blinds you to who you are desiring an can become addictive. I loved my husband. Love is important and long as it is mixed with compatibility and respect and honesty with a little romance thrown in for good measure. Harville Hendrix explains how to create romance so it can come later than the beginning. But when it does fade what is left is platonic love. This is what works for me. God is my first love. I will never put a man before God every again. That is idolatry.
Click to expand...
Susannah,,,,
to tag someone you use the @ sign and then write their name right after it...no spaces.
You'll find that the name comes up automatically after typing just 2 letters.

As to the above,,,I had once (not long ago) started a thread about what is more important: Love or respect. It didn't do so well.

My belief is that romantic love is fine as long as the two also respect each other and agree on the foundational basics of life.

I don't really know how it worked out between my husband and myself.
We agree on how to raise kids...
We like the same food and wine and other drinks (not alcoholic)
Same taste in furniture...
it seems like we've never argues about anything serious.....
although we do enjoy yelling at each other every now and then!
I once read that if two ALWAYS get along, it means one of them doesn't have a mind of
their own.
So I make sure we quarrel about something when things get too quiet!
JK of course, but all couple argue at times...normal.

It's good that you posted such thoughtful posts.
 
Allen Wynne said:
I agree.
I've been married 32 years. One time only.
Wouldn't have it any other way.
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I think it's great to age together and to always be there for
each other. It seems to me that one of the reasons persons get
married should be to help each other and not to compete with each
other, which is what I see at times.

It's unbelievable to me how someone could get want to get divorced at the
age of about 60 or even more...which some are doing these days.
 
Allen Wynne said:
You don't know what Paul said ?
Of course you do.
I explained what I had in mind.
But you don't understand.
It sounds like you don't understand the Bible and need to go back to a beginners class.
I'm not interested in teaching beginners.
That ministry belongs to someone else.
Maybe Jason will teach you.
Click to expand...
You did NOT explain what you had in mind.
But no matter....I'm sure Paul agreed with Jesus,,,,
I do believe he did in every way.

As to a beginner's class....
hey, I consider myself a beginner.
I've found that the more you learn,,,,
the more your realize how much you don't know.

Jason HAS taught me some stuff.
When I first got here I thought he was Jewish and PM'd him about this.

We can all learn...it's good to share.

P.S. Please stop yelling at me....
or :rollingpin
 
Growing old together . . .

Grow old along with me.
The best is yet to be.
The last of life for which the first was made.

I did not miss the spice of romance when I got older. I really just wanted serenity and peace. I got this from my second husband. For those who do want/need romance read the book, "Getting the Love You Want," by Harville Hendrix. He teaches couples how to "re-romantize" their relationship. wondering
 
JohnDB said:
No one is hollering at you...
You are just making yourself a target.
One of the hazards of being one of the cool kids.
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Allen is always yelling at me.
Everyone is a target.
I think I should report him.
I think you should get on his case.
I think you should PM him right now and get that
kid to behave himself.
BTW,,,,you know I'm just kidding.
:hysterical

Deep down he's an angel.
:halo

REALLY DEEP DOWN.
 
wondering said:
You did NOT explain what you had in mind.
But no matter....I'm sure Paul agreed with Jesus,,,,
I do believe he did in every way.

As to a beginner's class....
hey, I consider myself a beginner.
I've found that the more you learn,,,,
the more your realize how much you don't know.

Jason HAS taught me some stuff.
When I first got here I thought he was Jewish and PM'd him about this.

We can all learn...it's good to share.

P.S. Please stop yelling at me....
or :rollingpin
Click to expand...
But I like yelling at you

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahaha
 
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