[__ Prayer __] I'm beginning to hate God

Essenaut

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I'm beginning to hate God for birthing me into a life of loneliness and depression, and into an environment that had killed me inside. If I have demons I'd rather befriend them since they're close unlike God.
 
Take some responsibility
I do and it backfires like clockwork. It's almost as if there's a God playing a cruel joke.

I didn't make the choice to birth me into the environments that killed me inside.
 
Many of us have environments that weren't ideal. It is how you take that history and work with it. I'm literally trying to do things opposite of what my parents did. Some repeat the same patterns as their parents. It is how you view your history. It also matters what "you" do going forward and you can't blame anyone else for that.
 
I'm beginning to hate God for birthing me into a life of loneliness and depression, and into an environment that had killed me inside. If I have demons I'd rather befriend them since they're close unlike God.
I suffer from anxiety and depression and debilitating panic attacks and I love God all the more for it. Why? It shows me my frailty and need for Him. Life isn't going to be perfect for anyone. But Christ is sufficient and actually all we need. You don't hate God, you hate a god you've made up in your own mind. God doesn't play cruel jokes and he cares for you. But you don't get to set the terms. I tried that too and it got me nowhere.
 
Essenaut have you poured your heart out to God? Whether you believe it or not doesn't change the truth - He loves you.
Turn the corner Essenaut. You might be surprised and you find.
 
I remain vague because everything I'm told is nothing new and irrelevant to my condition.
I'm not trying to be mean, so please dont misunderstand me.

John 5:6.
New International Version
When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"

It doesnt sound like you want to be made well. Nobody here can help you if you dont want to be made well.

Listen, life can tear you down, but we cant loose hope. Yes, bad things happen to good people, but it isnt Gods fault. God didnt hurt you. You may feel like He let you down, but that's just your way of not accepting whatever happened to you and assigning fault to who ever, whatever hurt you.

God loves you, and He said He would go through this with you. So dont hate Him for not meeting your expectations.

I know it's natural to hate God when our lives spin out of control. You probably have the right to be angry. God has some pretty big shoulders, so I'm sure He can handle it.

In the meantime, why not open up and tell us your story. Dont be afraid.
 
I'm not asking for rhetoric since I've heard it all.
what makes you think you would get rhetoric a public forum is not a instant cure all . buy ya never know of the advice that might help. just today i learned of a young man from my home town in distress fur close 5 hours . threats of killing him self... no i dont know the end results you have to reach out for help the song will thou be made whole ?
 
I promise you He listens. Will pray for you every day Essenaut. Sometimes we get so low we need a hand to pull us out. You must feel exhausted. You need hope and to see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. I'll pray for a way out for you.
Christian Love to you.
 
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